Friday, January 28, 2000 Edition: #1731
FRESH JOKES FROM BS:
• What’s the difference between a porcupine and a BMW? (The porcupine has pricks on the outside.)
• Mom’s have “Mother’s Day”, dads have “Father’s Day”. What do single guys have? (“Palm Sunday”)
• Which sexual position produces the ugliest children? (I dunno, ask your mom.)
• How do you know when you’re REALLY ugly?
(The dog humps your leg with his eyes closed.)
• What’s a Tennessee Titan say after the Super Bowl? (Yeehaw, “I’m goin’ to Dollywood!”)
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
Tonight ‘Sporty Spice’ and former bandmate Geri Halliwell (aka ‘Ginger Spice’) share a stage at a charity concert in London (fur may fly) . . . Mick Jagger has applied to the European Union to register his name as an official trademark, and will soon do the same in the US, so he can charge for its usage on an array of products, including cologne, deodorant, fingernail polish, and clothing (now his name will appear on something OTHER than paternity suits) . . . Country star Wynonna Judd has fallen in love with her 8-year bodyguard Dan Roach (they’re built the same) . . . Dennis Rodman has told the NBA’s Dallas Mavericks he can’t join the team until after this weekend because he’s partying at the Super Bowl (now THERE’S the commitment you look for in a team leader!).
OPENING IN THEATERS TODAY:
Ewan McGregor stars as a British intelligence agent who is on a mission to shadow a murderous blackmailer played by Ashley Judd in the thriller “Eye of the Beholder” . . . . “Isn’t She Great?”, a comedy about “Valley of the Dolls” author Jacqueline Susann, starring Bette Midler and Nathan Lane.
20TH ANNUAL GENIE AWARDS FAX:
• Canada;’s cinema awards 8pm Sunday on CBC-TV from Toronto’s Metro Convention Centre.
• Hosted by Patrick McKenna (Marty Stephens-“Traders”, Harold Green-“The Red Green Show”)
• Hungarian-Canadian film epic “Sunshine” leads nominations with 14.
SUPER BOWL XXXIV GUIDE:
• Tennessee Titans vs St Louis Rams Sunday 6pm ET from Atlanta’s Georgia Dome on ABC-TV. (Oh no, more of Boomer’s bumbling!)
• Tina Turner kicks off her world tour with a rendition of “Proud Mary” during pre-game festivities which also include county star Travis Tritt, the Georgia Tech Marching Band and Georgia Mass Choir.
• National anthem performed by country singer Faith Hill.
• The beermeisters of Anheuser Busch are blowing $20 million for ten 30-second spots during the game.
• Halftime show “Tapestry of Nations” features Phil Collins, Christina Aguilera, Enrique Iglesias and Toni Braxton.
MUCH ADO ABOUT A ‘DO:
A new Yale University study suggests that a ‘bad hair day’ can indeed affect self-esteem, causing you not only to feel embarrassed, but also less smart, less capable and less sociable. And guess what? It affects men more than women! (Especially a ‘bad chest-hair day’.)
THE BULL SHEET 01.28.00
TODAY’S CELEB BIRTHDAYS . . .
1936 [64] Alan Alda (Alphonso D’Abruzzo), NYC, actor (Murder at 1600, Hawkeye Pierce-M*A*S*H)
1968 [32] Sarah McLachlan, Halifax NS, pop/rock singer (When, Sweet Surrender)/Lilith Fair creator
1977 [23] Joey Fatone Jr, NYC, pop singer (‘N Sync-Tearing Up My Heart)
1980 [20] Nick Carter, Jamestown NY, pop singer (Backstreet Boys-As Long as You Love Me)
SATURDAY’S BIRTHDAYS . . .
1954 [46] Oprah Winfrey, Kosciusko MS, rich TV host (Oprah, since 1986)/movie producer & actress (Beloved)/magazine publisher (“O” debuts in April)/TV mogul (her new women’s channel “Oxygen” premieres next week)
1962 [38] Nicholas Turturro, Queens NY, TV actor (Det James Martinez-NYPD Blue)
1965 [35] Dominik Hasek, Pardubice CZE, NHL goalie (Buffalo Sabres)
1968 [32] Ed Burns, Valley Stream NY, movie actor (Any Given Sunday, Saving Private Ryan)
SUNDAY’S BIRTHDAYS . . .
1930 [70] Gene Hackman, San Bernadino CA, film actor (Absolute Power, Oscar-Unforgiven)
1951 [49] Phil Collins, Chiswick ENG, rock singer/drummer (Golden Globe-When She Loved Me)
BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
Today is “Fun At Work Day”, when you’re encouraged to plan an activity that will create fun and laughter in the workplace. (Just before you’re tossed out the front door.)
It’s winter carnival time! You can freeze your buns off at – the 46th annual “Québec Winter Carnival” in Québec City today-February 13 th, Montréal’s annual “Fête des Neiges” tomorrow-February 13th, and “Ontario Winter Carnival Bon Soo” in Sault Ste Marie today-February 6th.
ON THIS DAY . . .
1992 Sarah McLachlan’s “Solace” album released (on her 24th birthday)
1997 62-year-old Pat Boone releases album called “In a Metal Mood: No More Mr Nice Guy”
2001 Super Bowl XXXV will be played at Raymond James Stadium, Tampa
TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1934 [66] 1st ‘rope tow’ for skiing (Woodstock VT)
1983 [17] 1st ‘CD’ broadcast on radio
1999 [01] 1st ‘live sex change operation’ performed on the Internet
AND REMEMBER . . .
[Sat] National Corn Chip Day
[Sun] National Popcorn Day
[Sun] Escape Day
National Creative Frugality Week
International Get Over It Month
BULL’S BITS . . .
BS TRIVIA:
Q: What’s the world’s most cosmopolitan city, based on the number of languages spoken there?
A: London, England where a total of 307 languages are spoken.
THE LAST WORD:
I’ve got a mind like a . . . a . . . what’s that thing called?
