Tuesday, January 4, 2000 Edition: #1713
After nearly 50 years, Charles Schulz’s daily “Peanuts” comic strip signed off in newspapers yesterday. So here’s a look at . . .
LEAST POPULAR BS “PEANUTS” BOOKS:
• ‘Snoopy’ marks his territory and ‘Woodstock’ paints a windshield in “Thanks For All the Egg Nog, Charlie Brown!”
• ‘Chuck’ and ‘The Little Red-Headed Girl’ find out about safe sex in “Damn Straight It’s Your Baby, Charlie Brown!”
• ‘Linus’ meets ‘Tinkly Winky’ in “It’s a Different Kind of Love, Charlie Brown.”
• ‘Pigpen’ discovers STD’s in “It burns when I Pee, Charlie Brown.”
• ‘Snoopy’ deals with his shortcomings after being neutered in “Why Did You Cut Off My Peanuts, Charlie Brown?”
(Note: Final weekend strip runs February 13th)
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
At a press conference this morning at 9am PST a slew of recording artists including Sarah McLachlan & Christina Aguilera announce the Grammy Award nominees (awards will be handed out February 23rd) . . . Courtney Love is working on her first movie screenplay, but things are going so poorly she’s had to bring in actress turned script doctor Carrie Fisher to help . . . Think Jerry Springer’s rude? Well, officials in Peru are looking into that country’s outlandish TV game shows, like the one that pays locals a whopping 40 bucks to perform stunts like licking armpits and bathing in frog urine . . . Recently separated Tim Allen needs a home, so he’s buying the $2.2 million LA digs of actor Christian Slater (who spends most of his time in jail anyway) . . . And because it’s important to all humanity, chatty Drew Barrymore says she “likes women sexually” and “a woman and a woman together are beautiful”.
TODAY’S NEW VIDEO RELEASES:
Pierce Brosnan and Rene Russo star in “The Thomas Crown Affair”, the story of a self-made billionaire who steals art masterpieces for kicks.
TOP RENTING VIDEOS:
1. “Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me”
2. “The Matrix”
3. “Notting Hill”
4. “Entrapment”
5. “The Haunting”
MOST IDIOTIC BUSINESS IDEA OF 1999.
• “Pet Music”, a 3-CD set of calming tunes to help alleviate pet stress and separation anxiety.
• A service that sends dead roses and melted chocolates to people you hate.
• An Internet start-up that forwards e-mail on the occasion of the sender’s death.
(Source: “Forbes Magazine”, January 10)
WORN-OUT WORDS:
Worn-out words and phrases that should be banned according to Lake Superior State University’s annual list include ‘millennium’, ‘24/7′, ‘road rage’, and ‘e-anything’, as in ‘e-commerce’. (And any use of the term ‘Y2K’ is now grounds for capital punishment.)
CHEWING THE FAT:
According to the “New England Journal of Medicine”, Mayo Clinic research has found that chewing gum burns up about 11 calories per hour. Anyone who chews gum every waking hour of the year will lose 11 lbs. (The reason your 14-year-old girl’s nickname is ‘Stick’.)
THE BULL SHEET 01.04.00
TODAY’S CELEB BIRTHDAYS . . .
1937 [63] Dyan Cannon (Friesen), Tacoma WA, TV actress (Judge Whipper Cone-Ally McBeal)
1957 [43] Patty Loveless (Ramey), Pikeville KY, country singer (You Don’t Seem to Miss Me)
1960 [40] Michael Stipe, Decatur GA, rock singer/songwriter (REM-Losing My Religion)
1963 [37] Dave Foley, Toronto ON, movie actor (South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut, Bug’s Life)/TV actor (ex-Kids in the Hall)
1966 [34] Deana Carter, Nashville TN, country singer named after Dean Martin (Strawberry Wine)
1967 [33] Benjamin Darvill, Winnipeg MB, rock/pop musician (Crash Test Dummies-Keep a Lid on Things)
1968 [32] Jackie Harris, Pine Bluff AR, NFL TE (Tennessee Titans)
BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
Today is “Trivia Day” in celebration of those with ‘doctorates in uselessology’. Ask listeners to call in the name of a friend who’s a ‘know-it-all’, then call the expert and give ‘em a little test . . .
• What sport did the ‘Toronto Huskies’ play beginning in 1946? (Basketball, in what became the NBA)
• What was the most valuable Canadian mineral resource in the 1990s? (Oil)
• What Japanese car company opened a Canadian plant in 1986? (Honda, in Alliston ON)
• What Canadian was knighted in 1934 for the discovery of insulin? (Charles Banting)
• Which was the most populous of the 4 Western provinces in 1901? (Manitoba)
(Source for all: “The All Canadian Trivia Board Game: Millennium Edition”)
ON THIS DAY IN THE ’90S . . .
1995 20 women pay $2,500 each for a group dinner-date with flash-in-the-pan model sensation Fabio
1996 70 country music stars gather in Nashville for “Grand Ole Opry 70th Anniversary Celebration”
1999 “Patch Adams” starring Robin Williams is the box office favorite
TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1885 [115] 1st ‘appendectomy’ (Dr William Grant on a 22-year-old woman in Davenport IA)
1991 [09] 1st recording artist to have 7 singles from 1 album (Janet Jackson-“Rhythm Nation 1814”)
1996 [04] 1st live rock concert on the Internet includes Deborah Harry, Joan Jett, and Joey Ramone
AND REMEMBER . . .
[Thurs] Bean Day
[Jan 17] American Music Awards
[Jan 23] Golden Globe Awards
Universal Letter Writing Week
Bread Machine Baking Month
BULL’S BITS . . .
This is “New Year’s Resolutions Week”. By now, pollsters say, 60% of New Year’s resolutions have already been broken. A good time to review . . .
WAYS TO KEEP YOUR RESOLUTIONS:
• Start Small — If you make no more than 2 resolutions you have a higher chance of success.
• Give Yourself 3 Weeks — It takes about 21 days to build a new habit.
• Record a Pep Talk — Record a pep talk to yourself to play back when your willpower begins to fail.
• Make a Public Pledge — You’re more likely to keep resolutions if you tell others about them.
• Get Support – Find others who’ve made the same resolution and support each other.
THE LAST WORD:
Why do fools fall in love? To reproduce and outnumber us!
