Friday, January 11, 2008        Edition: #3687
Never Accept a Generic – Ask For Pure “BS”!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
One couple coming together: reports say actress Reese Witherspoon has finally accepted actor Jake Gyllenhaal’s proposal of marriage . . . One couple coming apart: actor/director Sean Penn & actress/wife Robin Wright Penn are said to be divorcing after she caught him cheating . . . The show that helped catapult CNN’s Anderson Cooper into fame in 2000 is back, ABC-TV announcing “The Mole” is returning THIS SUMMER in a simplified, stripped-down, 10-episode run (no host yet) . . . Personal possessions of late soul icon James Brown will be auctioned to pay taxes owed by his estate (not to mention legal bills: his 6 children and 4th wife have all been contesting his will for over a year) . . . Word has it media mogul Oprah Winfrey has had a new will drawn up that leaves her $2-billion fortune to several charities & the 3 daughters she plans to adopt, but NOTHING to her 21-year partner Stedman Graham (next time do the dishes like you’re asked, bud) . . . And it looks like actress Katie Holmes (“Mad Money”) is getting special dispensation to run in THIS YEAR’s 112th “Boston Marathon” (APRIL 21st) even though her qualifying time isn’t fast enough (by like 2 hours) as marathon organizers are allowing her a ‘charity entrance’ (translated: we don’t want to suffer the wrath of Tom!).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Amy Winehouse – She’s chopped off her trademark beehive, had her hair cut into a short crop and bleached blond.
• Avril Lavigne – She’s settled out-of-court the lawsuit claiming she plagiarized her mega-hit “Girlfriend” from ’70s pop band the Rubinoos. Details are being kept quiet but it seems likely her lawyers decided a payoff would be cheaper than a court battle.
• Bruce Springsteen – He’s reportedly just paid out $200,000 to settle a lawsuit accusing him of reneging on a contract to buy an $850,000 pony for his daughter Jessica from Olympic equestrian Todd Minikus. Money for nothing … now THAT’s an expensive gift!
• Coldplay – EMI Records is denying reports they’re set to leave the record label. A company rep says they remain signed to a long-term contract which commits them to producing a number of studio albums. So much for their idea of ‘pulling a Radiohead’.
• Katharine McPhee – She’s become the 3rd “American Idol” contestant dropped by a record label in the space of 3 weeks, parting ways with RCA. Former winners Taylor Hicks & Ruben Studdard were also recently let go by J Records.
• Led Zeppelin – Bassist John Paul Jones has confirmed there’s a band meeting scheduled for later THIS MONTH to ‘weigh up their options’. In other words, to decide whether the millions they’d make from a world tour would be worth skipping a couple of months of afternoon naps.
• Madonna – She reportedly forks out $10,000-a-month for specially-blessed Kabbalah water, which she has transported with her wherever she goes.

WEEKEND SHOW BIZ SKED:
• Alan Jackson – TONIGHT & TOMORROW he’s headlining the “Sprint Sound & Speed” event in Nashville TN, which brings country stars & NASCAR drivers together for autographs, interviews and photos. Other acts set to perform include Bucky Covington, Diamond Rio, Josh Turner, and Taylor Swift.
• “Comanche Moon“ (CBS) – SUNDAY a miniseries based on the Western novel by Larry McMurtry (the last in his “Lonesome Dove” series) begins. Elizabeth Banks (“Scrubs”) & Toby Metcalf (“Friday Night Lights”) star in the 3-part drama that concludes WEDNESDAY.
• “Golden Globe Awards” (NBC) – SUNDAY the 65th edition is being reduced to a ‘press conference’, thanks to the WGA strike. NBC-TV has already offered to refund money to advertisers, something that could cost the net as much as $15 million. The people who are really PO-ed though, are the stars who finally had a breakthrough year and won’t be getting the recognition they feel they’re owed.
• NFL Playoffs – One of the biggest weekends of the year for NFL fans as the top 8 square-off in 2 games SATURDAY & 2 more SUNDAY. Hope there’s at least 2 TVs at your house!
• Phil Vassar – TONIGHT the “Last Day of My Life” country singer kicks off his first-ever acoustic tour in Tucson, Arizona. Jennifer Hanson (“Joyride”) is the opening act.
• “Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles” (FOX) – SUNDAY the 2-night premiere of this spinoff from the movie series debuts. Part 2 airs MONDAY. (The 7th season of “24” is being postponed until after the WGA strike to ensure it can air uninterrupted in its entirety.)

TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
• “First Sunday” ( PG-13 Comedy ): Ice Cube (“Are We There Yet?“), Katt Williams (“Norbit”), and Tracy Morgan (“30 Rock”) star in this story about crooks who plot the lowest crime imaginable … robbing their own church. But when the heist goes bad, they end up holding their fellow parishioners hostage.
NET: http://www.sonypictures.com/movies/firstsunday/
• “In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale” ( PG-13 Fantasy Adventure ): Jason Statham plays a peaceful farmer who’s forced to rescue his kidnapped wife, avenge the death of his son, and prevent a dastardly race of animal-warriors from knocking off the king. Co-stars John Rhys-Davies, Ray Liotta, Leelee Sobieski, and Burt Reynolds. Shot entirely in Vancouver and area. The week’s second-most over-titled movie next to …
NET: http://www.inthenameoftheking.com/
• “The Pirates Who Don’t Do Anything: A VeggieTales Movie” ( G-Rated Animated Family ): A trio of vegetables who work dead-end restaurant jobs find the adventure they’re looking for when they’re transported back to the 17th century to save a royal family from a dastardly tyrant. Based on the long-running kids’ video series.
NET: http://veggiepirates.com/

BRITAIN’S PRICIEST NEW PAD:
A mansion in north London has become the most expensive newly-built home in Britain after selling for just shy of $70 million. The Hampstead property includes its own nightclub, beauty salon, movie cinema and … gold-plated swimming pool. It’s been bought by Israeli billionaire Lev Leviev, who made his fortune in diamonds. (The world’s priciest city just got pricier.)
– PA News

TIME FOR A RETHINK?
The rush to switch to those energy-saving light bulbs may be putting thousands at risk of painful reactions. Experts say florescent bulbs can cause people with photosensitive skin to suffer severe rashes. An association of dermatologists is calling for exemptions to allow those affected to continue using traditional bulbs when they’re eventually yanked off the market. Other groups claim that low-energy bulbs, which use approximately a quarter the energy of conventional bulbs, can cause migraines and increase the risk of seizures for people with epilepsy. (And what’s to become of those millions-and-millions of old light bulbs nobody wants anymore?)
– BBC News

LIFE BY THE NUMBERS:
A “BS” snapshot of who we are and what we do …
• 73% of women say they’ve ‘done it’ when not in the mood, with the idea that they’ll probably end up enjoying it anyway.
• 56% of married people say they would never share a toothbrush with their spouse.
• 40% of us say we feel ‘more attractive’ when wearing sunglasses.
• 25% of office workers admit they play video games at work.
• 18% of all sick days are called in on Fridays. (Just 11% on Tuesdays.)
• 5% of married people will begin a love affair THIS YEAR.

EAU DE SCHTINK:
Women who wear too much perfume may be depressed, according to Israeli scientists. A research team at Tel Aviv University has discovered that depression weakens the sense of smell. The ability to smell also wanes as we age. By our 80s, many are only able to smell half as well as in our 20s. This could explain why ‘mature women’ are more apt to over-douse themselves with scent without realizing it. (My dear old auntie Myrtle once evacuated an entire train station in 4 minutes.)
– “Daily Telegraph”

BOUNCELESS BRA:
A new scientific study finds that women’s breasts can bounce up to 8 inches vertically while exercising – even in a bra – causing pain due to the stretching of breast tissue. But researchers are hoping to develop ‘smart bras’ that will support 3-dimensional movement: up-and-down, side-to-side, and forward-and-backward. (Didn’t Madonna already do this a few years back?)
– “Cosmopolitan”

CAT FIGHT!
University of Texas researchers have discovered 28 different tactics women use to belittle female competitors, from pointing out their rival’s heavy thighs to telling others their rival is suffering from an STD. It’s also been discovered that women’s mating strategies include at least 19 tactics for mate retention, ranging from vigilance to violence. And women apparently have some 29 tactics for ridding themselves of unwanted mates, including having sex as a way of saying goodbye. ([Co-host’s] ex- has said goodbye 138 times, to 27 different guys.)
– “The Independent”

DID YOU KNOW?
• There are 7.5 miles of information on a standard DVD. (If you can get the damn shrinkwrap off it.)
• Each of Tom Cruise’s 3 wives has been 11 years younger than the previous one. (At this rate, the one coming up after Katie was born in 1989 and the one after that just turned 8.)

AND WE QUOTE:
“I inhaled. That was the point.
– Barack Obama

BS CHRONOMETER 01.11.08

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1934 [74] Jean Chrétien, Shawinigan QC, Canada’s beloved 20th Prime Minister (1993-2003)

1942 [66] Clarence Clemons, Norfolk VA, classic rock musician (Bruce Springsteen’s E Street Band)

1946 [62] Naomi Judd, Ashland KY, country singer (The Judds-“Have Mercy”)/Wynonna’s mommy

1968 [40] Tom Dumont, LA CA, rock guitarist (No Doubt-“It’s My Life”, “Don’t Speak”)

1971 [37] Mary J Blige, Bronx NY, hip-hop singer (f/Ludacris-“Runaway Love”, “Be Without You”)

1972 [36] Amanda Peet, NYC, movie actress (“The Whole Nine Yards”)/TV actress (“Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip” 2006-07)

SATURDAY –
Radio personality Rush Limbaugh is 57; TV actress Kirstie Alley (“Cheers”) is 57; Radio personality Howard Stern is 54; News correspondent Christiane Amanpour (CNN) is 50; Alt-rock musician Charlie Gillingham (Counting Crows) is 48; Internet billionaire Jeff Bezos (Amazon.com) is 44; Rocker/filmmaker Rob Zombie (“Halloween”) is 42; Pop singer Melanie Chisholm (Spice Girls) is 34.

SUNDAY –
TV actress Julia Louis-Dreyfuss (“New Adventures of Old Christine”) is 47; Country singer Trace Adkins (“Ladies Love Country Boys”) is 46; TV actor Patrick Dempsey (“Grey’s Anatomy”) is 42;
Movie actor Orlando Bloom (“Pirates of the Caribbean”) is 31.

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “International Thank-Yous Days”, a week-long opportunity to thank someone from your past who did something nice for you. Or maybe when you force your kids to finally write thank-you notes for holiday season gifts?
• “Sir John A Macdonald’s Birthday”, celebrating the anniversary of the birth of Canada’s first Prime Minister in 1815. The US gets “Martin Luther King Day” off in JANUARY, so why can’t we have this as a holiday?
• “Tattoo Pride Day”. Hey, I’ll show you mine if you show me yours!

SATURDAY –
• “International Skeptics Day”. It’s doubtful this idea is going to have any impact.
• “Roller Skating Day”, celebrating the pastime that previously employed 4 wheels for what we now do with 2 wheels.

SUNDAY –
• “Door-To-Door Salespeople Day”, honoring those persistent people who are the forerunners of junk mail, telemarketing, and spam.

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1999 [09] “The Daily Show With Jon Stewart” debuts on Comedy Central as Stewart takes over from previous host Craig Kilborn (6 Emmy Awards since)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1984 [24] Michael Jackson’s “Thriller” becomes the all-time best-selling album, surpassing the soundtrack from “Saturday Night Fever” (it’s now sold over 40-million copies worldwide, enough to fund 5,472 nose jobs)