Tuesday, January 24, 2023 – Edition: #7402
Sheet Happens!
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Nominations for the 43rd Annual Razzie Awards are in, and they have singled out “Blonde,” Disney’s “Pinocchio,” Machine Gun Kelly’s “Good Mourning” and “Morbius” among 2022’s worst movies. Ana de Armas’ Blonde, which the Razzies say explores “the exploitation of Marilyn Monroe…by continuing to exploit her posthumously,” led with a whopping 8 nominations. Tom Hanks is also a target of this year’s nominees, earning 3 nods for Worst Actor for Disney’s “Pinocchio”, Worst Supporting Actor for “Elvis” and Worst Screen Couple for “Tom Hanks & His Latex-Laden Face (and Ludicrous Accent)” in “Elvis.” The Razzie winners will be revealed on Oscar eve, Saturday, March 11.
-TheWrap
★ Arnold Schwarzenegger has reportedly signed a deal to write a new “motivational” book. The 75-year-old action star previously opened up about his years in the spotlight in the 2012 memoir “Total Recall: My Unbelievably True Life Story” and and now has signed with Penguin Press to put pen to paper again — with the help of a co-writer. As well as lifting the lid on his life in Hollywood and in politics as the Governor of California, Schwarzenegger has also written a series of books about bodybuilding.
-Bang
★ ‘James Bond’ star Rami Malek is lining up a return to TV to play movie legend Buster Keaton. The actor, who first broke out with his Emmy-winning TV role on “Mr. Robot”, is set to portray the vaudeville-turned-silent comedy flim star as part of a limited series. While a streamer or network is yet to be confirmed, “The Batman’s” Matt Reeves is set to direct and executive produce the series alongside Malek.
-DigitalSpy
★ The end is almost here for the smash-hit Netflix series, “Cobra Kai.” Netflix released a new announcement video, revealing that the upcoming 6th season will be its last. Show creators are calling the next season “the biggest season of ‘Cobra Kai’ yet.” The announcement says it will be a “celebration of all that’s come, as well as all that’s still left to be told.” Netflix hasn’t revealed a debut date for the new season, but Season 5 premiered on the streamer last September. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/4949et2c
-Blast
★ The Force is strong with Mando … and Grogu. The new trailer for the third season of Disney’s hit show “The Mandalorian” broke several records within the first 24 hours of dropping during the NFL wild-card playoff game on January 16. Mandalorian debuted with a whopping 83.5 million views, vastly outstripping the franchise’s “Obi-Wan Kenobi” which debuted on May 4th — or “Star Wars Day” — and attracted nearly 58 million viewers. Season 3 is set to drop March 1 on Disney+. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/5c9yvhxc
-NYPost
★ Jeremy Renner can always count on friend Chris Evans to be there for him. Shortly after Renner posted a message about being on the mend and looking forward with a positive outlook after his snowplow accident, his “Avengers” co-star Evans reacted with a light-hearted response, writing: “That’s one tough (BLEEP!), referring to Renner’s pic of himself in a bed receiving physical therapy. He then asked, “Has anyone even checked on the snowcat???” That’s the vehicle that was involved in Renner’s accident. He concluded by writing: “Sending so much love,” with a single red heart emoji. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/y36pymk9
-People
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Rose Byrne, Bobby Cannavale
• “The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Natasha Lyonne, Nate Bargatze, Brianne Howey, Antonia Gentry, Stephen Sanchez
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Jason Segel, Chuck D
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Ana Gasteyer, Sam Morrison, Danny Carey
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Andie MacDowell, Billy Porter, Stacey Ryan
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Emma Roberts, Julie Bowen
• “The Daily Show” (COM): Guest host Wanda Sykes
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Sarah Michelle Gellar, Meagan Good
• “The Talk”(CBS): Tracey Bregman
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Josh Duhamel, Brianne Howey
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (Check local listings): Emma Roberts, Nickelback performs
• “The Drew Barrymore Show” (Check local listings): Julie Bowen
• “Jennifer Hudson Show” (Check local listings): Joel McHale, Regina Hall, Marlon Wayans, Tony Hale
• “9-1-1: Lone Star” (Fox): Season 4 premiere. The 126 is called to a county fair when a fast-moving group of severe thunderstorms hits. Owen’s new passion for motorcycling puts him on a potentially dangerous path; Tommy meets an attractive single father.
• “Night Court (NBC): After making a courtroom mistake, Abby adopts an all-business approach, but her new style catches everyone off guard.
• “Will Trent” (ABC): With 2 dead victims and very few answers, Will investigates a call from state park police; Will and Faith share some personal secrets.
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Beyoncé — returned to the stage Saturday after a 4-year absence from headlining shows, performing an hour-long set at the new Atlantis The Royal Resort in Dubai – for which she was paid a rumored $24 million. She was joined onstage by her 11-year-old daughter Blue Ivy Carter for a duet of their 2019 song ‘Brown Skin Girl’.
• Diplo — kicked off his set in Park City, Utah with a new remix of the wildly popular “White Lotus” theme song. The DJ immediately drew cheers from the massive crowd once the familiar tune kicked off.
• Drake – During his show at New York’s historic Apollo Theater on Sat., he brought out 21 Savage for a slew of songs, and the pair teased a joint tour this year. Drake also hinted at a new album in 2023.
• David Bowie — Rush guitarist Alex Lifeson and Living Colour’s Vernon Reid are among those who’ve contributed to a reggae re-imagining of his classic album “The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars.” The album “Ziggy Stardub” drops on April 21. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/2cww4ud4
• Guns N’ Roses – Axl Rose delivered a heartfelt eulogy and performed ‘November Rain’ solo on piano at the memorial service for Lisa Marie Presley at Graceland on Sunday. Musical tributes also came from Alanis Morissette and Billy Corgan.
• Ozzy Osbourne — A campaigner who’s tried 3 times to have him knighted said she has good reason not to give up after receiving a letter from the UK government. Helen Maidiotis, who is behind the petition to elevate Ozzy to the status of “Sir,” revealed the letter said “his case remains under consideration at this time”, and she was encouraged to send along “any additional supporting information”.
• Eric Church – After selling out more than 10 dates during the first day of sales, he has added 8 new shows to “The Outsiders Revival Tour” spanning the US and Canada this summer. Church will also bring the outdoor experience – his first open-air trek in more than a decade – to newly added dates in Toronto (July 6), Atlanta (Sept. 21) and Charlotte (Sept. 24).
• Morgan Wallen – The music video for his chart-climbing hit ‘Thought You Should Know’ has amassed over 8 million views on YouTube. The vid, a tribute to his mother, has been out since Thanksgiving. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/htcmth4k
• Carly Pearce – may have bribed a cop. She shared a wild story on Twitter, in a now deleted video post, where she said: “I’m gonna tell you about the time that I had a warrant out for my arrest”. She went on to describe receiving a large fine for speeding and how eventually she “bartered my way to pay the ticket and give (the officer) tickets to my show.”
SHOOTING THE BULL
UBER COOL:
The CEO of Uber has revealed what he feels the future of the ride-hailing service looks like. Dara Khosrowshahi says someday, Uber drivers won’t need 4 wheels, front-facing seats, or top speeds over 50mph (80kph) just to drive people or items around in a city. So, the company is working with automakers to create custom-built cars. He pictures electric vehicles with 3 wheels that would “have a much smaller footprint in terms of environmental but also traffic flow”. In those vehicles, passengers might sit facing one another to ease interaction. And, he says, many cities, like New York, have low speed limits which make higher horsepower, and, in turn, large and expensive battery packs, unnecessary. Uber has already pledged to use only fully electric rides in the US and Europe by 2030.
(This guy has never driven in a snow storm, has he?)
(He figures having passengers sit face-to-face will also solve the problem of people throwing up in his cars!)
-CNN
NEW DEVELOPMENTS:
➠ Researchers have come up with a lipstick that includes cranberry extract as a way to fight viruses, bacteria and fungi. A recent study found that lipstick is one of many products that contain chemicals which can trigger changes in hormone function and even lead to breast cancer. And cranberry extract has demonstrated the ability to deactivate harmful microbes. So Ángel Serrano-Aroca and team used cranberry extract for creating a deep red lipstick tint, which is also protective against harmful germs.
➠ Scientists at University of Maryland have developed a type of paper towel that absorbs 3 times more water-based liquids, using hydrogel, a gelatin-like material. Hydrogels have always been able to absorb more liquid than cloth or paper, but they become crumbly and brittle when they dry out. To fix this, the team created a way to include the desirable properties of both products into one. (An even “quicker picker-upper”?)
➠ KFC has launched a new product that can be used to make your home smell delicious — fried chicken scented incense sticks. The fast-food chain is offering a set of 6 incense sticks that, when lit, will fill your home with the delicious aroma of freshly cooked fried chicken. It’s part of a promotion for KFC’s new delivery service in Japan, and they are being given away free to customers who place an order. The sticks are shaped like chicken drumettes and are packaged in a box that looks like a bucket of KFC fried chicken. (I can’t see any unfortunate mistakes being made here at all…!)
-StudyFinds, YupThatExists
EXTREME MEME:
You know the famous “side-eye” meme? When Dieunerst Collin 9 years old, he in line at a Popeyes in New Jersey, when a stranger pulled out their phone to record Collin and compare him to a boy who was internet-famous at the time for his dance moves. Collin gave the man filming a side glare that was posted to Vine, where it went viral and ultimately became a famous GIF. Well, the kid is now 18, and a freshman football player at Lake Erie College in Painesville OH – and he’s embracing his claim to fame. He has signed with Popeyes restaurants for a sponsorship that will use his name, image and likeness on billboards and other ads. He says that initially, his family wasn’t too happy with his social media fame, but now that it’s turned into an opportunity — they’re not so mad about it. The partnership came about after a social media campaign by Collin and his fans. Although a few other chicken chains expressed interest, Popeyes sent Collin a private message within a few hours and had someone present him with an offer. LINKS: https://tinyurl.com/29c928wj https://tinyurl.com/3n3s4z55
(He gives a guy with a camera the side-eye and it makes him rich. I do the same thing, and the cop writes me another ticket!)
(The deal is for 5 years – or until he “tenders” his resignation. Ouch.)
-NYPost
TOP “ICKS”, ACCORDING TO A HAIRDRESSER:
Remember the Starbucks barista, who went viral by listing on TikTok the top “icks” that customers do? Well, now it’s a thing. Illinois cosmetologist and hairdresser EmilyPytel has put together her major client annoyances, and here they are…
• When a client shows up with “super dirty” hair: “We don’t want to touch your dirty hair, but it’s also not good for your color.”
• Clients who stare into her eyes as she washes their hair: “Don’t do that, it’s awkward for everybody — just close your eyes”. (No kidding. You’ll notice she calls you a ‘client’, not a ‘dinner companion’!)
• Tardiness: “When you show up late with a coffee in your hand, and you don’t have one for us. We love coffee too, and we need the caffeine to do your hair.” (So…the problem isn’t being late. The problem is not bringing coffee!)
• When the client turns her head to look in the mirror before she’s done: “Please don’t do that because there’s a reason we’re turning your chair.” (I call doing that “taking preventive measures”!)
LINK: https://tinyurl.com/5c8z349u
-NYPost
DID YOU KNOW?
María Branyas Morera of Spain, who was verified as being the oldest living person at 115 years and 326 days old, is an active Twitter user, according to Guinness World Records. The spry senior’s Twitter bio reads, “I am old, very old, but not an idiot,” and she frequently shares her words of wisdom on the social media platform with the help of her daughter. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/m2as572u
-NYPost
BS CHRONOMETER 01.24.23
TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Beer Can Appreciation Day”, observed on the anniversary of the first canned beer, marketed by Krueger Brewing of Richmond, Virginia on this day 88 years ago, in 1935. (Gee, what should we do to celebrate?)
• “Compliment Day”, when we’re encouraged to say something nice to at least 5 people. (Who will, in turn, ask, “OK, what is it that you want?”)
• “Global Belly Laugh Day”, a day to experience the health & happiness benefits of taking a moment to laugh out loud. To that end, we’re all encouraged to throw our arms in the air and laugh heartily at precisely 1:24 pm local time.
• “Peanut Butter Day”, originally called ‘nutmeal’, peanut butter has only been around for about 125 years, but it’s a staple in 85% of homes and we eat about 3 lbs (1.4kg) per person per year. (What’ll it be? Chunky, smooth or creamy? Or cookies?)
• “Speak Up and Succeed Day”, to celebrate the importance of being able to speak publicly. Today is a day “to face your fear of public speaking” or to use the day to make yourself better at it. (I’ve at least got the part down about imagining other people naked!)
• “Talk Like a Grizzled Prospector Day”, a tongue-in-cheek salute to the beginning of the 1848 gold rush in California. (“Well, consarn it! A whole ’nuther year’s done skedaddled right past an’ we’re celerbating this agin!”)
• “Just Do it Day”, there is no time left for excuses. Today, pick a thing that you’ve been meaning to do but have been hesitant about — and just do it! (Why do I feel the urge to buy some Nikes?)
AND REMEMBER . . .
[Wed] Robbie Burns Day
[Wed] Opposite Day
[Thurs] Spouse’s Day
[Fri] Fun at Work Day
This Week Is…Kiss a Shark Week
This Month Is…Hot Tea Month
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1941 [82] Neil Diamond, New York NY, oldies singer (‘Sweet Caroline’, ‘Song Sung Blue’)/songwriter (‘I’m a Believer’, ‘Red, Red Wine’/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame, 2011
1941 [82] Aaron Neville, New Orleans LA, pop singer (w/Linda Ronstadt-‘Don’t Know Much’, Neville Brothers-‘Bird on a Wire’)
1963 [60] Keech Rainwater, Plano TX, country drummer (Lonestar-‘Mr. Mom’, ‘Amazed’)
1968 [55] Mary Lou Retton, Fairmont WV, retired gymnast (first American woman to win gold in the individual all-around competition, at the 1984 Olympics in Los Angeles)
1970 [53] Matthew Lillard, Lansing MI, movie actor (“Scooby Doo”, “The Descendants”)/TV actor (“Good Girls”, 2018-2021)
1974 [49] Ed Helms, Atlanta GA, movie actor (“The Hangover” movies, “Vacation”)/TV actor (“The Office” 2006-13, “The Daily Show” 2002-09)
1978 [45] Kristen Schaal, Longmont CO, TV actress (“Last Man on Earth” 2015-18, “Bob’s Burgers” since 2011)
1984 [39] Justin Baldoni, Los Angeles CA, TV actor (‘Rafael Solano’ on “Jane the Virgin” 2014-19)/director (“Five Feet Apart”)
1986 [37] Mischa Barton, London England, movie actress (“St Trinian’s”, “The Sixth Sense”)/TV actress (“The OC” 2003-06)
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2006 [17] Disney announces its $7.4-billion purchase of Pixar Studios (making the late Steve Jobs one extremely wealthy guy)
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1998 [25] The “Titanic” soundtrack goes to #1 in America, replacing Celine Dion’s “Let’s Talk About Love”. Both albums contain the hit song from the movie, ‘My Heart Will Go On’
2015 [08] INXS guitarist Tim Farriss severs the ring finger on his left hand while operating a winch on his boat. Doctors manage to reattach it after 2 surgeries, but his playing remains limited
2018 [05] Elton John announces his 3-year “Farewell Yellow Brick Road” final tour (still going, following a nearly 2-year COVID-related hiatus)
TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1984 [39] Apple unveils its revolutionary Macintosh personal computer. It boasts a 9-inch black-and-white display, two serial ports, 128KB RAM, and a slot for a 3.5-inch floppy disc. List price: US $2495.00
BULL’S BITS
BS WHACK FACTS:
✓ It takes about 0.004 gallons (0.015 litres) of gas to start your car.
✓ A violin contains about 70 separate pieces of wood.
✓ Carnivores dream more than herbivores.
✓ Houseflies hum in the key of F.
✓ Camels store water their bloodstream, not their hump, which is fatty tissue.
✓ NASA accidentally erased the original tape of the first steps on the moon.
-BathroomReadersInstitute, RandomFactGenerator
Best of BS . . .
BS NETFLIX AND CHILL FOR MARRIED PEOPLE:
• AppleTV and text each other from different rooms
• Google and diagnose each other
• MasterCard and vacation
• Dollar Store and post-vacation
• Bed Bath & Beyond and argue
• Home Depot and argue
• IKEA and nuclear-level argue
• Peloton and jointly experience what death might feel like
• Dodge Charger and midlife crisis
• Walmart and wonder how this became your life
• Disney and birth control
• Netflix and literally chill
-McSweeneys, first published in BS in 2018
BS SIGNS YOU’VE GONE TO THE WRONG CHURCH:
• Ushers ask, “Smoking or Non-smoking?”
• Karaoke hymns.
• No cover charge, but communion is a two-drink minimum.
• The church staff consists of ‘Senior Pastor’, ‘Associate Pastor’ and ‘Socio-Pastor’.
• The Bible they use is the “Dr. Seuss Version.”
• There’s an ATM in the lobby.
• The choir wears leather robes.
• Worship services are B.Y.O.S. — “Bring Your Own Snake.”
• The church bus has gun racks.
• The only song the organist knows is ‘In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida’.
-Jokerz, first published in BS in 2020
BS WEB GOODIE:
Absolutely shameless: https://tinyurl.com/m554v8nj
BS RANDOM JOKE:
You can’t believe everything you hear—but you can repeat it.
BS PHONE STARTER:
What is the smallest or most unusual reason you’ve ended a relationship?
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: 32% of workers say THIS negatively affects their productivity. What is it?
Answer: Co-workers who talk too much
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Courage is the commitment to begin without any guarantee of success.
