Tuesday, January 14, 2020 Edition: #6611
Thanks a Sheetload for Choosing “BS”!
BS SHOWBIZ BUZZ:
★ Nominations for 92nd Academy Awards were announced Monday morning. The dark comic drama “Joker” led among nominated films with 11. “Ford v Ferrari,” “The Irishman,” “Jojo Rabbit,” “Joker,” “Little Women,” “Once Upon a Time… in Hollywood,” “Marriage Story,” “Parasite” and “1917” are vying for best picture. Scarlett Johansson scored a rare double acting nomination for best actress and best supporting actress for her work in “Marriage Story” and “JoJo Rabbit”, but despite efforts in recent years to diversify the Academy’s membership, women were shut out of the best director category. This year’s awards ceremony will air February 9 on ABC. As was the case last year, there will be no host.
-CNN
★ Get set for a TV sequel to the classic movie “The Silence of the Lambs”. CBS has committed to “Clarice”, a TV series that follows FBI agent Clarice Starling, who was played by Jodie Foster in the 1991 Academy Award-winning film adaptation of “The Silence of the Lambs” novel. Here’s the synopsis for the potential new drama, which does not yet have a cast: It’s 1993, a year after the events of “The Silence of the Lambs.” “Clarice” is a deep dive into the untold personal story of Clarice Starling as she returns to the field to pursue serial murderers and sexual predators while navigating the high stakes political world of Washington, D.C.
-TheWrap
★ Ian McKellen is giving fans a closer look at the making of the “Lord of the Rings” trilogy. He tweeted out a link to journal entries he wrote while filming the fan-favorite films over two decades ago. He wrote: “During that time, I kept a journal, which today would be called a blog. Perhaps you’ll enjoy reading about those heady times.” His journal entries cover a range of topics like his scheduling overlap with the X-Men franchise, his first time trying on the Gandalf costume (and beard), working with his cast mates and more.
-MSN
★ Dwayne Johnson is to star in a comedy series inspired by his own life. The former professional wrestler turned actor is to star in the new series for NBC called “Young Rock”, which will focus on his ‘formative years’. He recently opened up about how he finds it ”incredibly difficult” being a film star and while he was named highest-paid actor in the world between 2018 and 2019, he doesn’t feel worthy of the status.
-ContactMusic
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Allison Janney, Ilana Glazer, ScaryPoolParty
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Tyler Perry, Yara Shahidi, Black Pumas
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Michael Bloomberg
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Will Smith, Michael Cruz Kayne
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Steve Buscemi, Tim Roth, SHAED
• “Lights Out with David Spade” (COMEDY): Jim Gaffigan, Chris Hardwick, Whitney Cummings
• “Conan” (TBS): Walton Goggins, Fahim Anwar
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): S.E. Cupp, Kristen Doute
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Leslie Jones
• “The Talk” (CBS): Kellan Lutz, Julian McMahon, guest co-host Brigitte Nielsen
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Tyler Perry, Echosmith
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Rami Malek, will.i.am, guest host Robert Downey Jr.
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): Rob Lowe, Madelaine Petsch
• “This Is Us” (NBC): Season 4 returns
• “New Amsterdam” NBC): Season 2 returns
• “Arrow” (CW): Season 8 returns
• DC’s Legends of Tomorrow” (CW): Season 5 premiere
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Glastonbury Festival – has been told to shush. It is one of the UK’s most high-profile events – but a local council report has highlighted nine ways in which it needs to improve, including noise levels, when it’s staged in June with headliners Taylor Swift and Paul McCartney.
• Adele – a 19-year-old fan who spent some time with her when they met while on vacation in Anguilla recently says Adele told her that she has lost “something like 100 pounds.”
• Halsey – Her new music video for ‘You Should Be Sad’ shows her paying tribute to four of her idols: Christina Aguilera, Shania Twain, Lady Gaga and Carrie Underwood. Underwood appreciated the nod, and has offered to work with Halsey the next time she stops in Nashville.
• Jennifer Lopez – Her long-running relationship with Versace is coming full circle: She’s representing the Italian fashion house’s Spring/Summer 2020 collection. One photo features JLo sporting a green palm leaf suit with no shirt underneath, reminiscent of the iconic Versace dress that she wore to the Grammy Awards in 2000.
• Dave Matthews Band – came in first in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame fan vote. The final tally shows the group with just over a million votes. The rest of the top 5, in order, are: Pat Benatar, The Doobie Brothers, Soundgarden and Judas Priest. Although finishing in the top 5 does not guarantee an act’s induction to the Hall, it does increase their chances.
• Rush — turned down an offer to play a Las Vegas residency. Entertainment presenter AEG says they approached the band in late 2015 to play T-Mobile Arena 4-6 weekends per year. Rush closed out their final tour on August 1, 2015. Drummer Neil Peart died last week at 67.
• David Bowie – will have street in Paris named after him. Mayor Jerome Coumet says “Rue David Bowie” will be christened in the near future. The news comes after David Bowie was added to The Oxford Dictionary of National Biography, which compiles the life stories of the most influential people in British history.
• Jake Owen – It turns out he’s a bit of a rapper. He posted video of himself and his 7-year-old daughter, Pearl, as they freestyled on a cute PSA against bullying.
• Sam Hunt – says he has written “maybe 20” songs for his upcoming sophomore album. Although a release date hasn’t been revealed, he has already released the first single, ‘Kinfolks’, and on Jan. 3, he previewed the song ‘Sinning With You’.
THIS WEEK’S NETFLIX (Canada) RELEASES:
➢ January 15:
• Grace and Frankie: Season 6 (Netflix Original): Jane Fonda and Lily Tomlin’s odd-couple comedy will soon become the longest-running Netflix original of all time.
➢ January 17:
• Tyler Perry’s A Fall from Grace (Mystery/Suspense): Disheartened since her ex-husband’s affair, Grace Waters feels restored by a new romance. But when secrets erode her short-lived joy, Grace’s vulnerable side turns violent. (Tyler Perry, Adrian Pasdar)
➢ January 17:
• Sex Education: Season 2 (Netflix Original): The series about teenagers who open their own amateur sex clinic at school was one of Netflix’s biggest hits of early 2019; this season the characters deal with their own personal sexual issues as well as larger problems like an STD outbreak.
➢ January 17:
• Hip-Hop Evolution: Season 4 (Netflix original): Following hip-hop in the U.S., showcasing the stories and sounds that shaped its history and culture.
(Full list: https://www.macleans.ca/culture/netflix-canada-in-january-2020-whats-new-this-month/ For releases in other Netflix regions, click here: https://www.whats-on-netflix.com/whats-new/ )
OVER THE MOON:
A Japanese billionaire is going above and beyond in his search for love. 44-year-old Yusaku Maezawa, who struck it rich as the founder of online fashion retailer ZoZo, has announced that he is seeking applicants to be his girlfriend and join him on the first private voyage to the moon through Elon Musk’s SpaceX program. Oh, yeah: one more thing – the courtship will be filmed as part of a reality series called “Full Moon Lovers.” The program’s online application states that they are searching for single women over the age of 20 who are “interested in going into space and able to participate in the preparation for it.”
(I’m guessing that he’s also looking for someone who is interested in joining the 239,000 mile club?)
(Is this because his last girlfriend told him that a woman needs ‘space’?)
(So the guy is rich, but he isn’t so rich that he’ll let a TV show pay for his flight!)
-NYPost
SLOW AND STEADY WINS THE RACE:
A virile 100-year-old tortoise whose rampant sex life has been credited with almost single-handedly saving his entire species from extinction, is retiring. Diego’s unstoppable libido was credited as a major reason for the survival of his fellow giant tortoises on Espanola, part of the Galapagos Islands, after being shipped over from the San Diego Zoo as part of a breeding program. When he began his “efforts”, there were just 2 males and 12 females of his species in the world. But Diego helped boost the population to over 2,000. They figure he is the patriarch of about 40% of the current population.
(This is one case where someone had to be dragged kicking and screaming into retirement!)
(2,000 offspring…even though he wears protection all the time!)
***CAUTION***(He must be a ‘Wood Turtle’!)
-CNN
THINGS YOU DIDN’T KNOW ABOUT GETTING GROCERIES:
➢ Shop at dinnertime or later: To avoid crowds, it’s best to do your grocery-getting between 5-9pm…or even later. Only 4% of us shop after 9pm. Least crowded day of the week? Wednesday. (When you can be absolutely sure that they will be out of everything that went on sale the previous Thursday…)
➢ Reach for it: The freshest milk (and bread…and many other items) are at the back of the rack. (This doesn’t matter if you have teenagers who will devour whatever it is you bring home within minutes of arrival…)
➢ Think before buying the weird produce: That star fruit has been there a lot longer than the bananas. Familiar produce turns over much more quickly than exotic things. (To me, anything that costs more than $2 is exotic!)
➢ Be wary of “specials”: When people see signs with numbers like “8 for $10!” or “Limit: 5 per customer”—they buy 30-100% more than they otherwise might have. (And remember: if you don’t buy it at all, you save 100%!)
➢ Look high and low: For good values, look near the floor or near the top of the shelf. The prices of these products, from smaller manufacturers who can’t afford to stock their products in the eye-level sweet spot, could be lower. (When I’m shopping, I usually have to look high and low for my kids!)
➢ Watch your wheels: Want to avoid shopping-cart dents? Park further away. The more distance between your car and the door, the less likely it will be the victim of a cart crash. (And guess what? You’ll save time and fuel by grabbing one of the first spots you see, rather than cruising the lot, hoping for a spot close to the door!)
-ReadersDigest
DID YOU KNOW?
To easily melt the ice on your windshield, mix two-parts rubbing alcohol and one-part water in a spray bottle. When the solution hits the window, the ice will melt in seconds. You can also spray this solution on your doors if they’re frozen shut. (If my doors are frozen shut, I take it as a sign that I should be staying home!)
-HouseBeautiful
BS CHRONOMETER 01.14.20
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1941 [79] Faye Dunaway, Bascom FL, movie actress (“Bonnie and Clyde”, “Chinatown”)
1963 [57] Steven Soderbergh, Atlanta GA, movie director (“Magic Mike”, “Traffic”)/film producer (“Magic Mike XXL”, “Good Night, and Good Luck”) COMING UP…”Bill & Ted Face the Music”, 2020
1968 [52] LL Cool J (James Todd Smith), Bay Shore NY, TV actor (‘Sam Hanna’ on “NCIS: LA” since 2009)/movie actor (“Any Given Sunday”)/rap artist (‘Mama Said Knock You Out’)/Grammy Awards host 2012-16
1969 [51] Dave Grohl, Warren OH, rock singer-guitarist/drummer (Foo Fighters-‘Learn to Fly’, Nirvana-‘Smells Like Teen Spirit’)
1969 [51] Jason Bateman, Rye NY, movie actor (“Horrible Bosses”, “Juno”)/TV actor (“Arrested Development” 2003-06, 2013)
1982 [38] Caleb Followill, Mount Juliet TN, rock singer-guitarist (Kings of Leon-‘Use Somebody’, ‘Sex on Fire’)
1990 [30] Grant Gustin, Norfolk VA, TV actor (‘Barry Allen/Flash’ on “The Flash” since 2014)
TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Caesarean Section Day”, commemorating the first successful procedure of its kind, performed in 1794 by Dr Jesse Bennet in Edom VA on his wife. (To celebrate, leave your house this morning by going out through a window.)
• “Dress Up Your Pet Day”, celebrate by dressing up your furry family member in comfortable pet clothing — maybe even get matching outfits, if you want to get crazy. And of course, be sure to post the results on your social media (or your pet’s!)
• “Organize Your Home Day”, a day make sure there’s a place for everything and to then put everything in its place. The first step to organizing is to unclutter. (Better make that “Organize Your Home MONTH”!)
• “International Kite Day”, which originated in India, in the state of Gujarat. The annual kite festival, called “Uttarayan” in Hindi, celebrates the day that Winter ends and Summer begins.
• “National Hot Pastrami Sandwich Day”, New York kosher butcher Sussman Volk produced the first pastrami sandwich in 1887. He claimed to have gotten the recipe from a Romanian friend in exchange for storing his luggage. Due to the popularity of his sandwich, Volk converted his butcher shop into a restaurant to sell pastrami sandwiches.
AND REMEMBER . . .
[Wed] Humanitarian Day
[Wed] National Bagel Day
[Thurs] Appreciate a Dragon Day
[Thurs] Book Publishers Day
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2009 [11] Ricardo Montalbán, Mexican actor (“Fantasy Island”, “Star Trek II”, “Naked Gun”), dies of congestive heart failure at 88
2013 [07] In a taped interview with Oprah Winfrey, 7-time Tour de France winner Lance Armstrong admits to taking performance-enhancing drugs to improve his cycling performance
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
2000 [20] It is revealed that David Crosby is the father of Melissa Etheridge’s two children via surrogate
2014 [06] Justin Bieber is questioned by police over the egging of his neighbor’s house in Calabasas, California
TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
2009 [11] Citing health concerns, Apple Computer CEO Steve Jobs announces his plan to step aside from day-to-day operations at the computer giant, appointing Tim Cook to take over
2015 [05] After 19 days, American rock climbers Tommy Caldwell & Kevin Jorgeson become the first to successfully free-climb the 3,000-ft Dawn Wall face of El Capitan in California’s Yosemite National Park
TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1973 [47] Last ‘Perfect NFL Season’ as Miami Dolphins beat Washington Redskins 14-7 at Super Bowl VII in Los Angeles to finish with a 17-0 record (members of that Dolphin team still celebrate when the last undefeated NFL team finally loses each season)
BULL’S BITS
BS WHACK FACTS:
✓ There is a fruit called ‘black sapote’ which tastes like chocolate pudding.
✓ A chef’s hat has exactly 100 pleats.
✓ The majority of your brain is fat.
✓ Oranges are not naturally occurring fruits. They are a hybrid of tangerines and pomelos.
✓ Penguins can jump as high as six feet in the air.
✓ The French word for dandelion, “pissenlit”, means “wet the bed.”
-BestLife
Best of BS . . .
BS IF PEOPLE TALKED TO OTHER PROFESSIONALS THE WAY THEY TALK TO TEACHERS:
• “Ah, a zookeeper. So, you just babysit the animals all day?”
• “My colon never acts this way at home. Are you sure you’re reading the colonoscopy results correctly? Did you ever think that maybe you just don’t like my colon?”
• “I’d love to just play with actuary statistics all day. That would be so fun! I bet you don’t even feel like you’re at work!”
• “So you run a ski lodge? Do you just, like, chill during the summer? Must be nice.”
• “You’re a sanitation worker, huh? I hated my garbage collectors when I was growing up.”
• “Do you even read your patients’ charts, or do you just assign them a random dosage based on how nice they’ve been to you?”
• “Oh, you’re a stand-up comedian, huh? So, you just stand up there and BS until your set is done?”
• “Before you give me a ticket, officer, I just want to mention: My taxes pay your salary.”
-McSweeneys, first published in BS in 2019
BS LAME SCANDALS:
• The non-rewound Blockbuster video tape scandal of ’89.
• You cannot buy “Lucky Charms” in Ireland.
• My neighbor is sleeping with the father of her child.
• Candy corn. No actual corn.
• You don’t have to do anything for a Klondike Bar except purchase it.
• Bologna’s first name is not actually O-S-C-A-R.
• Cap’n Crunch faked his credentials.
• She was neither born with it, nor was it Maybelline.
• Actually, it has been butter the whole time.
• Tom Brady’s stupid deflated footballs
-Twitter, first published in BS in 2019
BS RANDOM JOKE:
The problem with the world is that the intelligent people are full of doubts and the stupid ones are full of confidence.
BS WEB GOODIE:
Good skills: https://tinyurl.com/weqxz7d
BS PHONE STARTER:
What’s the funniest thing you’ve heard someone say in their sleep?
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: 4% of people have a tattoo of THIS. What it is.
Answer: Their pet
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
There is only one rule for being a good talker — learn to listen.
