January 24 2022

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Monday, January 24, 2022 – Edition: #7152

Sheet Happens!


★ Arnold Schwarzenegger was involved in a multi-vehicle car accident Friday, leaving a woman with what are being called “serious” injuries. Schwarzenegger was driving a Yukon SUV when it collided with a red Prius on LA’s Sunset Blvd. His SUV started to roll and ended up on top of the Prius, then continued rolling into a Porsche. The woman behind the wheel of the Prius was taken to hospital in an ambulance. No one charges have been laid, and alcohol is not believed to have been a factor. A rep for Schwarzenegger said: “He is fine, his only concern right now is for the woman who was injured.”
-Yahoo, TMZ
★ Let the games begin… again. “Squid Game” is officially returning for season 2. Netflix Co-CEO and Chief Content Officer Ted Sarandos, when asked during Netflix’s earnings interview if the series would be returning, said: “Absolutely. The Squid Game universe has just begun.” The announcement probably isn’t surprising for fans, based on stats alone. Season 2 has been expected since Squid Game became the most-streamed Netflix series ever in October, with over 111 million viewers. That skyrocketed Squid Game past the previously most-watched series, “Bridgerton”, by a whopping 29 million viewers.
★ Pete Davidson and Colin Jost have purchased an old Staten Island ferry — and, no, it’s not for a “Saturday Night Live” bit. The Staten Island natives have been revealed as the mystery buyers of the out-of-service passenger ferry that was once operated by the New York City Department of Transportation. The ferry, named the John F. Kennedy, which had been retired from service, went up for auction last week. The pair, who purchased the boat for about $280k, plan to turn it into a “live entertainment event space”.
★ “America’s Funniest Home Videos,” the family TV institution that Bob Saget helped launch in 1989, will pay tribute to its original host for the rest of season 32 with a regular segment showcasing memorable moments from his time on the ABC series. AFV already honored Saget in its Jan. 16 episode, a week after his death at the age of 65, but executive producer Vin Di Bona decided last week that there is too much prime PG-rated Saget material in the vault from his 8-year run not to share more on the air.


• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Lady Gaga, Jake Tapper
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Tiffany Haddish, Paris Hilton, Earl Sweatshirt
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Kristen Stewart, Jonathan Van Ness
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Milo Ventimiglia, James Austin Johnson, Larnell Lewis
• ” The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): David Arquette, Jackie Kashian
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Amanda Batula, Ciara Miller
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Nicole Byer
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Kristen Stewart, Lacey Chabert
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Andrew Garfield, Sherri Shepherd
• “The Drew Barrymore Show” (Check local listings): Nicole Ari Parker, Karen Pittman, Sarita Choudhury, Kym Whitley, Finesse Mitchell, Sydney Sweeney
• “The Bachelor” (ABC): Clayton confronts one of the women about a shocking rumor involving her; Kaitlyn Bristowe pays a surprise visit.
• “Promised Land” (ABC): Series premiere. Alliances and loyalties are tested as Joe Sandoval assesses the future of his family-run Sonoma Valley wine business.
• “March” (CW): Series premiere. Exploring the legacy and culture of Prairie View A&M.
• “The Gilded Age” (HBO): Series premiere. A wide-eyed young scion of a conservative family embarks on a mission to infiltrate the wealthy neighboring clan dominated by A ruthless railroad tycoon.

• Drake – Confused.com reports his Toronto mansion, searched just over 1 million times, was the 2nd most Googled celebrity home in the last year. His house beat those of other big-name celebs like Justin Bieber, Ariana Grande, Harry Styles, Kanye West, Taylor Swift, and even Kim Kardashian, whose home came in at #3. Whose house is #1? Elon Musk’s, with 1.3 million searches.
• Adele — On Friday, fans in line at the merch store near the Colosseum at Caesars Palace were greeted with some surprises, following the last-minute postponement of her Vegas residency. Members of Adele’s team pulled aside some visitors to briefly speak with her on a video call. Fans were also given a tote bag containing an Adele T-shirt, magnets and a keychain.
• Dr. Dre and Snoop Dogg – are a few of the stars of this year’s Super Bowl Halftime Show. Pepsi debuted an epic trailer for the event, which also features halftime performers Mary J. Blige, Eminem, and Kendrick Lamar, all eventually meeting up at SoFi Stadium in Inglewood CA, to the sound of Tupac’s ‘California Love’. Super Bowl LVI is Sunday, Feb. 13. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/2p9f3jbd
• Elton John — resumed his “Farewell Yellow Brick Road” tour on Wed., returning to the stage in New Orleans after a nearly 2-year hiatus. He’ll perform across North America until April, then head to Europe and back to North America before playing in Australia and New Zealand next year.
• Sinead O’Connor – The documentary “Nothing Compares,” premiered at the virtual 2022 Sundance Film Festival on Friday. Curiously, Prince’s estate wouldn’t give permission for the filmmakers to use the biggest hit of O’Connor’s career (which he wrote), and the song from which the film takes its title.
• Meat Loaf — would stick to the old adage of “the show must go on”, and Caleb Johnson, who sings in the late rocker’s band, says that’s exactly what Neverland Express will do. The season 13 “American Idol” champ fills Meat’s shoes on the “Bat” tour, and he says the boss wouldn’t want them to quit just because he’s no longer here.
• Luke Combs – announced on Twitter that his wife, Nicole is pregnant with their first child. He wrote: “Here we go y’all! Lil dude Combs is coming this Spring! Couldn’t be more excited to start a family with this babe.” He posted a pic of the couple holding an ultrasound photo that indicates they are expecting a baby boy.
• Maddie & Tae — Taylor Dye and her husband Josh Kerr are parents. She gave birth to daughter Leighton Grace Kerr last Monday, after having been in the hospital for a little over a month. The baby weighed 2 lbs 5 oz, and wasn’t due until spring. Kerr wrote on social media that the baby is “beautiful, strong and everything we have ever dreamed of.”
• CMT – has unveiled its “Next Women of Country” class of 2022. Among them: Grammy-nominated Amythyst Kiah, Callista Clark, Camille Parker, Jenna Paulette, Julia Cole, former “American Idol” contestant Laci Kaye Booth, Lily Rose, Madeline Edwards, Miko Marks and Morgan Wade.


Major League Baseball has announced that robot umpires will be used next season in Triple-A leagues, a big step toward eventually using an automated strike zone in the majors. MLB let the cat out of the bag by posting a notice on its website seeking employees to operate the automated ball-strike system for teams such as the Albuquerque Isotopes and Las Vegas Aviators. This comes 2 years after the Independent Atlantic League became the first American pro baseball league to let a computer call balls and strikes. It’s something that many players and fans have been calling for forever, because it would eliminate the inconsistent strike zones seen between umpires, and by the same umpires from inning-to-inning and from pitch-to-pitch. MLB also said the robot umps will be used at some spring training ballparks.
(That’s, of course, if we even have a next season!)
(The only problem is: NOW what will TV announcers spend half the night complaining about?)
(The announcers always say: “All the players ask is for the calls to be consistent.” Hogwash! All they ask for is for the calls to be correct!)

➢ A Pennsylvania high school football team swapped weight training practice with snow shoveling for neighbors in need. Bethel Park High School football coach Brian DeLallo said about 40 athletes shoveled driveways last Monday after a storm hit the area. His tweet read: “Due to expected severe weather, Monday’s weightlifting workout has been cancelled. Find an elderly or disabled neighbor and shovel their driveway. Don’t accept any money – that’s our Monday workout.” He said having the athletes shovel driveways also gave them a chance to interact with the community, which is a big supporter of high school sports. (…and a big supporter of free driveway clearing!)
➢ A dog was saved, thanks to a sausage . . . and a drone? Poor Millie the dog went missing while out for a walk in southern England. Volunteer organization Denmead Drone Search and Rescue set up a drone to track her, and found her out on dangerous mud flats that can flood during high tide. Police, fire services and even the coastguard couldn’t coax the nervous pup back to safety. After 3 days, a volunteer came up with a last-ditch idea: Sausage, string, drone. The sausages were fried, the drone went aloft, and sweet, hungry Millie followed them right off the flats to safety. (It turns out there’s something that sausages can do . . . that even bacon can’t!)
-SunnySkyz, CNN

✗ The Doomsday Clock will remain unchanged at 100 seconds to midnight in 2022. For the last 2 years, it has remained the closest it’s been to midnight since it was created in 1947. By leaving it there, the Bulletin of Atomic Scientists aims to highlight that we are still in a perilous historical moment, and humanity is still closer to potential apocalypse than ever. The board stresses that there have been improvements, but with things going on like the increase in nuclear weapons stockpiling, the Jan. 6 US insurrection, inaction on climate change, and the pandemic and misinformation surrounding it, 2021 was a lot. (Wow! It looks like we’re one Adam Sandler movie away from total annihilation!)
✗ Earth is in the middle of its next “mass extinction event”, and it may be too late to undo the harm inflicted upon the planet’s species. That’s according to a new study by biologists from the University of Hawaii and the Museum National d’Histoire Naturelle in Paris. While researchers say that conservation initiatives have been put in place which will protect certain species, the study suggests that the damage has already been done. According to a press release: “These initiatives cannot target all species, and they cannot reverse the overall trend of species extinction.” A mass extinction event involves the loss of at least 75% of species. While we haven’t yet seen such a high rate of extinction, there is potential for it to happen in the future, and the scientists argue it’s in the process of happening right now. (Darn! When I heard we’re going the way of the dinosaurs, I just thought (***co-host’s***) wardrobe was coming back into style!)
-IFLScience, CTV

The travel platform’s highest-rated, most-loved overall places of the year . . .
1. Dubai, United Arab Emirates. Why? “Dubai is an ultramodern city that has it all: golden beaches, world-class dining, and gorgeous hotels. To rank as the world’s best means a destination has obtained stellar traveler reviews across all of its tourism sectors.”
2. London, United Kingdom
3. Cancún, Mexico
4. Bali, Indonesia
5. Crete, Greece
6. Rome, Italy
7. Cabo San Lucas, Mexico
8. Istanbul, Turkey
9. Paris, France
10. Hurghada, Egypt

Hong Kong residents are rebelling against a proposed cull of the city’s pet hamsters. After enduring, and largely complying with a series of extreme and often baffling pandemic rules, when a cull of 2,000 pet hamsters was announced, a line was crossed. An ‘underground railroad’ has emerged to save abandoned hamsters, with foster carers taking them in and concealing them. ‘Resistance fighters’ have created groups to share updates, drawing on methods used in anti-government protests in 2019. Nearly 3,000 have volunteered to house affected hamsters. And on social media, concerned residents shared photos of abandoned hamsters in the hope of enlisting rescuers, who say the government’s plan is rooted in knee-jerk panic rather than science. Officials said the rodents could carry the coronavirus, and transmit it to humans. (Whose “hamster-fisted” idea was that, anyway?)


• “Beer Can Appreciation Day”, observed on the anniversary of the first canned beer, marketed by Krueger Brewing of Richmond, Virginia on this day 87 years ago in 1935. (Gee, what should we do to celebrate?)
• “Compliment Day”, when we’re encouraged to say something nice to at least 5 people. (Who will, in turn, ask, “OK, what is it that you want?”)
• “Global Belly Laugh Day”, a day to experience the health & happiness benefits of taking a moment to laugh out loud. To that end, we’re all encouraged to throw our arms in the air and laugh heartily at precisely 1:24 pm local time.
• “Peanut Butter Day”, originally called ‘nutmeal’, peanut butter has only been around for about 125 years but it’s a staple in 85% of homes and we eat about 3 lbs (1.4kg) per person per year. (What’ll it be? Chunky, smooth or creamy? Or cookies?)
• “Talk Like a Grizzled Prospector Day”, a tongue-in-cheek salute to the beginning of the 1848 gold rush in California. (“Well, consarn it! A whole ’nuther year’s done skedaddled right past an’ we’re celerbating this agin!”)
• “Better Business Communication Day”, to help companies get on a path to implementing solid communication practices. By encouraging better communication in the workplace, the day helps to make employees feel connected and empowered, which leads to better decision making.

[Tues] Robbie Burns Day
[Tues] Irish Coffee Day
[Wed] Spouse’s Day
[Wed] Peanut Brittle Day
This Week Is…Tax Identity Theft Week
This Month Is…Soup Month

1941 [81] Neil Diamond, New York NY, oldies singer (‘Sweet Caroline’, ‘Song Sung Blue’)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame, 2011

1963 [59] Keech Rainwater, Plano TX, country drummer (Lonestar-‘Mr. Mom’, ‘Amazed’)

1968 [54] Mary Lou Retton, Fairmont WV, retired gymnast (first American woman to win gold in the individual all-around competition, at the 1984 Olympics in Los Angeles)

1970 [52] Matthew Lillard, Lansing MI, movie actor (“Scooby Doo”, “The Descendants”)/TV actor (“Good Girls”, 2018-2021)

1974 [48] Ed Helms, Atlanta GA, movie actor (“The Hangover” movies, “Vacation”)/TV actor (“The Office” 2006-13, “The Daily Show” 2002-09)

1978 [44] Kristen Schaal, Longmont CO, TV actress (“Last Man on Earth” 2015-18, “Bob’s Burgers” since 2011)

1984 [38] Justin Baldoni, Los Angeles CA, TV actor (‘Rafael Solano’ on “Jane the Virgin” 2014-19)

1986 [34] Mischa Barton, London UK, movie actress (“St Trinian’s”, “The Sixth Sense”)/TV actress (“The OC” 2003-06)

2006 [16] Disney announces its $7.4-billion purchase of Pixar Studios (making the late Steve Jobs one extremely wealthy guy)

1998 [24] The “Titanic” soundtrack goes to #1 in America, replacing Celine Dion’s “Let’s Talk About Love”. Both albums contain the hit song from the movie, ‘My Heart Will Go On’.

2015 [07] INXS guitarist Tim Farriss severs the ring finger on his left hand while operating a winch on his boat. Doctors manage to reattach the digit after 2 surgeries

2018 [04] Elton John announces his 3-year “Farewell Yellow Brick Road” final tour (he recently resumed performances, after a nearly 2-year COVID-related hiatus).

1984 [38] Apple unveils its revolutionary Macintosh personal computer. It boasts a 9-inch black-and-white display, two serial ports, 128KB RAM, and a slot for one 3.5-inch floppy disc. List price: US $2495.00

2013 [09] European Bioinformatics Institute announces its scientists have successfully stored audio and text on fragments of DNA and retrieved them with 99.99% accuracy, the first time DNA has been used for data storage


✓ Hot water freezes faster than cold water.
✓ A violin contains about 70 separate pieces of wood.
✓ The longest one-syllable word in the English language is “screeched”.
✓ NASA accidentally erased the original tape of the first steps on the moon.
✓ Camels store water their bloodstream, not their hump, which is fatty tissue.
✓ Billy goats try to attract a mate by urinating on their own heads.
-BathroomReadersInstitute, RandomFactGenerator

Best of BS . . .
• Accessing your profile would require you to “enter your password and pull my finger.”
• There would be a “Yes, Dear” emoji.
• The internet would still be dial-up because “It works just fine, there’s no need to spend more money”.
• Instagram would have a cover-up filter for his daughter’s Instagram posts.
• He’d yell at the computer just like he yells at the TV.
• Even more dad jokes.
• “Throw some dirt on it and get back out there” would be the universal reaction to typos.
• “Catfishing” would once again involve a rod, reel, and water.
• It would shut down once a week for Monday Night Football.
• In reality, Mom would actually be boss of it.
-Twitter, first published in BS in 2019

➠ These days, single women are purchasing homes at twice the rate of single men. (But that’s because so many single men have PlayStations and parents with free basements . . .)
➠ A study says that men are more likely to lose their memory if they’ve been drinking heavily. (Though I think we’d all agree, occasionally forgetting where you parked is a small price to pay for being incredibly handsome and undeniably hilarious…)
➠ A study has concluded that people who spend too much time online can develop severe mental health problems, including stress, sleeping disorders and depression. (Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got 786 Facebook friends I need to share this with . . .
➠ Oddly, a study found that when ice cream sales go up, so do homicides. (So evidently, murder is one of the things some people WOULD do for a Klondike Bar!)
➠ Fact:  The creator of “Star Trek” originally wanted Spock to be female. (Also, instead of the “Vulcan nerve pinch” Spock originally just used “the silent treatment.”)

• I was a natural blonde:
a) Megan Fox
b) Elvis Presley [CORRECT]
c) Marilyn Monroe
d) Donald Trump

• I was named after a department store:
a) Selena Gomez
b) Halle Berry [CORRECT, named after ‘Halle Brothers Department Stores’]
c) Ariana Grande
d) William H Macy

• I have a fear of spoons:
a) Millie Bobby Brown
b) Harry Styles
c) Liam Payne [CORRECT]
d) Stainless Steele

People who still haven’t got COVID:   https://tinyurl.com/mfrcehh3

Technically, pretty much every orchestra is an 1800s cover band…

Poorly describe what you do for a living. (***And we’ll see if we can guess what your job is…***)

Question:    Just 15% of people say when it comes to tech products, they would rather give THIS up than social media. What is it?
Answer:  Netflix

The joy that isn’t shared dies young.


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