January 13 2021

Print Friendly, PDF & Email

Wednesday, January 13, 2021 – Edition: #6892

Thanks For Being On Our Sheet List!

★ Amid news that Kim Cattrall won’t return for the “Sex and the City revival”, she took to Twitter to subtly share her reaction to the reboot. While Cattrall has yet to speak out about the reboot, she did “like” a fan’s post saying: “I applaud doing what is best for you and think this is great example of putting yourself first. Well done @KimCattrall.” Cattrall has made it clear that she’s moved on, and has decided not to take part in the planned 10-episode HBO Max series called “And Just Like That”. However, in early 2018, she weighed in on possible replacements for Samantha. After learning that Sarah Jessica Parker suggested that Ellen DeGeneres should take over the role, Cattrall tweeted that she’d be “fabulous.” Cattrall also suggested Oprah Winfrey, Tiffany Haddish and Sofía Vergara as possible replacements.
★ It’s Dame Helen Mirren’s chance to get behind the wheel in “Fast And Furious 9”. Vin Diesel has confirmed that Mirren will get to drive in the delayed sequel. Mirren, who plays ‘Magdalene Shaw’, has yet to drive in the film franchise but Diesel told Entertainment Weekly, that this time, “It’s so awesome. She gets to drive and she gets to drive sleek. You haven’t seen anything yet.” The movie was originally set for release last year but the pandemic pushed its premiere to May 28.
★ Kevin Hart and his HartBeat Productions have signed a first-look film deal with Netflix, in which he will produce and star in four separate films for the streaming giant. It’s a big get for Netflix, as Hart has been one of the few consistently bankable box office stars, with his movies grossing over $4 billion worldwide. Last year, Hart had Netflix’s top comedy special, “Zero F—s Given,” which was viewed by 21 million accounts in its first four weeks.
★ President Donald Trump was permanently removed from Twitter last week, and now his critics are calling for even more consequences to his legacy. Long before he was president, Trump famously made a cameo in “Home Alone 2: Lost in New York”. Now that he has been removed from Twitter, some want him removed from the movie as well. The chances of a Home Alone 2 edit with Trump removed is unlikely, although some users took the call quite seriously.

• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Bryan Cranston, Carrie Coon, Beach Bunny
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Riz Ahmed, Angela Bassett, Jacob Collier featuring Daniel Caesar
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Samantha Bee, Paul Mescal
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Rachel Brosnahan, Bobby Moynihan
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Paul Bettany, Lennie James
• “Conan” (TBS): Andrew Rannells (R)
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Paula Abdul, Braunwyn Windham-Burke
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): James Comey
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Kyra Sedgwick, Laura Kasperzak
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Ashley McBryde
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): Amanda Seyfried, Sarah Hyland, Seventeen
• “The Drew Barrymore Show” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): Jane Krakowski, Tegan & Sara
• “Call Your Mother” (ABC): Premiere. Jean, an empty-nester mom who wonders how she ended up alone with her children thousands of miles away, decides to reinsert herself into their lives.
• “The Price Is Right at Night” (CBS): Adam Devine plays for the Children’s Miracle Network, alongside contestants playing for amazing prizes including luxury cars and $100,000 in cash.
• “Married at First Sight” (LIFETIME): Ten singles get ready for the day they’ll meet their mystery spouses at the altar; one bride falls apart when a gift from her husband takes her by surprise.

• Pop Smoke – The late rapper’s “Shoot for the Stars Aim for the Moon” was the most popular album of 2020 in Canada, according to MRC Data (formerly Nielsen Music)’s year-end report. Taylor Swift’s “Folklore” was the best-selling album and Saint JHN’s ‘Roses’ was the most consumed song, according to MRC, which tracks music streaming and sales.
• Taylor Swift – Her “Evermore” is back at #1 on the Billboard 200 albums chart (up from #2 a week ago). She now has a cumulative 51 weeks at the top across all 8 of her chart-topping albums. That ties Michael Jackson for the 4th-most weeks at #1. They trail only The Beatles (132 weeks), Elvis Presley (67) and Garth Brooks (52).
• Robbie Williams — has teased a new duet with Kylie Minogue. They previously teamed up on 2000’s ‘Kids’, which was held from the #1 spot in the UK by U2’s ‘Beautiful Day’. Williams says he and Minogue have “big plans” for a follow-up.
• Dr. Dre — is still in intensive care, more than week after suffering a brain aneurysm. He was rushed to hospital on Jan. 4, and has been undergoing tests ever since. Because doctors remain baffled as to what caused the initial aneurysm, they are apparently keeping him in ICU in case he has another.
• Rush — frontman Geddy Lee will take part in a virtual evening of music and stories put on by the Vancouver Symphony Orchestra. “The Show Must Go On: Stories of Resilience” will feature Lee, k.d. lang, former Barenaked Ladies singer Steven Page, other classical musicians and the VSO. No official word on whether Lee will perform or is scheduled just to speak.
• Jack White — The Detroit native’s 2014 show at the city’s Masonic Temple will finally be released. The revered concert featured 38 songs performed over 3½ hours. The collection will be released on four 180-gram vinyl-colored LPs, with bonus photos. Fans must order the package by Jan. 31.
• Metallica — Jason Momoa wants the group’s Robert Trujillo to teach him how to play bass. Momoa- who is a keen bass player – is a huge Metallica fan and close friends with Trujillo, told Bass Guitar magazine: “When’s that guy going to teach me how to play bass? He’s like my spirit animal, I love him.”
• Dierks Bentley – has teased a new song on Instagram. In the vid, he grabs his guitar and a hot cup of coffee, and sings ‘Tell ‘Em Right Now’. In the caption, he calls the song’s message “a good idea in these times.” LINK: https://tinyurl.com/y6fl6qfb
• Luke Combs – speaks about having anxiety and OCD in a new installment of “The Big Interview With Dan Rather” which airs tonight. In a promo clip, he says: “It’s something that I always struggled with, and always affected me…and I still have my moments here and there.”
• Brandi Carlile — has recorded what she calls a “dark” and “haunting” version of John Denver’s ‘Take Me Home, Country Roads’. Her take on the song is for the new CBS television show “Clarice”.


A Swedish film festival is looking for a serious movie buff to go to a remote island for a week – with just one job. The Göteborg Film Festival will be sending one lucky prizewinner to an “Isolated Cinema” on a remote Swedish lighthouse island — but there’s a catch. That person will be totally isolated, without even their phone. And he or she will have a total of 60 films to watch during their week there. The festival website says anyone can apply to attend “Isolated Cinema,” but only one person will be chosen. During the week that he or she is on Pater Noster island, the winner will have to “provide a [daily] report about the films and the experience of being alone on an isolated rock in a vast sea.” The “Isolated Cinema” contest is one way the film festival is exploring this year’s theme: “Social Distances.”
LINK: https://goteborgfilmfestival.se/en/the-isolated-cinema/
(60 movies? That’s a LOT of M&Ms!)
(Why do I get the feeling that Pater Noster is the type of island where it’s too cold to do anything else EXCEPT watch movies?)
(Alone? Well, you and Wilson!)

The method by which owls swoop silently on their prey is being studied by scientists in an effort at applying it to aircraft to make them quieter. City University, London engineers have built a model and believe micro-structured “finlets” on the tips of owls’ feathers are the key to why they are so silent. Measurements have shown the flapping of a barn owl’s wings, whose wingspan can reach more than six feet, is below the threshold of human hearing until it is about 3 feet away. Airplanes are considered to be dangerously loud, with noise levels at take-off and landing reaching 105 decibels, similar to a chainsaw at close proximity. The owls’ finlets have been found stabilize the flow of air over the feathers, so as to create little to no noise when owls flap their wings and glide. The team hopes to inspire future quieter aircraft wing designs.
(Coming soon: airplanes covered in owl feathers?)
(In airplanes’ defence, owls aren’t powered by 2 jet engines and carrying 160 people…)
(Imagine how happy barn owls were when people finally started making barns!)

The good people at Ben & Jerry’s think your dog deserves dessert. The ice cream company has announced that it is introducing “Doggie Desserts”, a line of frozen dog treats. Doggie Desserts, sold in 4-ounce cups, will come in 2 flavors: ‘pumpkin with cookies’ and ‘peanut butter with pretzels.’ They will go on sale in U.S. groceries and pet stores this month. Both are made with a base of sunflower butter and use the same ingredients Ben & Jerry’s uses in its non-dairy human desserts.
(The only reason someone only thought of this is because they didn’t want to share their dessert with the dog!)
(The problem is that I know I’m going to be reaching for THESE when we’re out of “people” dessert…)
(Did you hear those flavors? Once again, just like when I’m eating a hamburger and feeding the dog leftover steak, he’ll be eating better than me!)

Here are some of the items available at the “special” new business-focused Costco warehouse that opened recently near Montreal:
➢ A vat of Olive Oil:  And I do mean “vat”. A 207-liter barrel (yes, an olive-oil drum) goes for $899. (You could cook with it and bathe in it!)
➢ Watermelons Bigger Than Your Head:  Just $4.99 each. (Can you imagine the size of the seeds in those things?)
➢ A Full Wheel of Parmigiano-Reggiano:  We’re not sure how much it weighs, but it must be a lot, because it goes for $816.79. (Plus the cost of the enormous fridge you’ll need!)
➢ Pails of Nutella:  Complete with a handle so you can bring it with you wherever you go. 3kg (6.6 lbs.) for $20.99. (This does not seem so odd to anyone with teenagers…)
➢ Barrels of Maple Syrup:  They look like kegs and hold 18.9 litres of Bernard Maple Syrup. $199.99. (Well, it IS Canada, eh?)
➢ A Huge Amount of Poutine Sauce:  18 kg (39.6 lbs.) of Rose Hill Melange Sauce Poutine — a true symbol of Quebecois pride. $59.99. (If you eat all that, you’d better go for a “poutine” check-up!)
➢ A Package Of 1,100 Tea Bags:  You could drink a cup of tea every day for three years before running out. $26.99 (Pity!)
➢ An Actual Shawarma Machine:  Shawarma, donair, kebab, gyros — they all come from a vertical broiler like this one. $2,799.99. (You’ll also want to grab a few barrels of garlic sauce…)
(Are these products outrageously large? Yes. Do I feel the need to own them immediately? Also, yes. …except for the Olive Oil!)

Being tall is the giraffe’s competitive advantage, giving it the pick of leaves from the tallest trees, so scientists were stunned to find two giraffe dwarves on different sides of Africa. Most giraffes grow to 15 – 20 feet (4.5 – 6 metres), but in 2018, scientists discovered an 8 1/2-foot (2.6 metre) giraffe in Namibia. Three years earlier, they found a 9-foot 3-inch (2.8 metre) giraffe in a Ugandan wildlife park. In both cases, the giraffes had standard long necks but short, stumpy legs. (Picture a corgi with a long neck…)


1961 [60] Julia Louis-Dreyfus, NYC, TV actress (‘Selina Meyer’ on “Veep” 2012-19, “New Adventures of Old Christine” 2006-10, “Seinfeld” 1989-98)

1961 [60] Wayne Coyne, Pittsburgh PA, rock vocalist/guitarist (Flaming Lips-‘Do You Realize’)/Miley Cyrus collaborator (‘Miley Cyrus & Her Dead Petz’)

1962 [59] Trace Adkins, Sarepta, LA, country singer (‘You’re Gonna Miss This’, ‘Honky Tonk Badonkadonk’)

1966 [55] Patrick Dempsey, Lewiston ME, TV actor (“Grey’s Anatomy” 2005-15, 2020)/movie actor (“Transformers: Dark of the Moon”)

1970 [51] Shonda Rhimes, Chicago IL, TV show runner/executive producer (“How to Get Away With Murder” since 2014, “Scandal” 2012-18, “Grey’s Anatomy” since 2005)

1976 [45] Michael Peña, Chicago IL, movie actor (“Amercian Hustle”, “Ant Man”) COMING UP…”Tom & Jerry: The Movie”, 2021

1977 [44] Orlando Bloom, Canterbury UK, movie actor (“The Hobbit” movies, “Pirates Of the Caribbean” films)/engaged to Katy Perry. COMING UP…”Needle in a Timestack”

1990 [31] Liam Hemsworth, Melbourne Australia, movie actor (“The Hunger Games” films, “The Expendables 2”)/married to Miley Cyrus 2018-20

• “Make Your Dream Come True Day”. Even if your dream seems impossible, you’ll never know if it can be accomplished unless you try. (Never give up on your dreams…keep sleeping!)

• “Rubber Duckie Day”, celebrating the tub-toy that tots treasure. Observed annually on the ‘birth anniversary’ of “Sesame Street” character ‘Rubber Duckie’.

• “St Knut’s Day” (“Tjugondag Knut”), the last day of Christmas (!?!) in Finland and Sweden.

• “Sticker Day”. Historians credit European merchants in the 1880s as the first to stick labels to their products in an effort to promote them to passersby. Thanks to them, you now have to gouge and mutilate your fruit in order to get the stickers off…

• “Stephen Foster Memorial Day” in the USA. Altogether now – “Way down upon dah Swaneeee Ribber …”

• “Peach Melba Day”, made up of peaches poached in vanilla syrup, that are then served with vanilla ice cream and raspberry sauce. It was created by renowned French Chef Auguste Escoffier, and named after Australian opera singer Nellie Melba.

[Thurs] Caesarean Section Day
[Thurs] Dress Up Your Pet Day
[Fri] Humanitarian Day
[Fri] Bagel Day

2010 [11] Beyoncé & Jay Z are named the top-earning couple in show biz by “Forbes” magazine, pulling down $122 million over the previous year

2018 [03] Mark Wahlberg donates his $1.5m reshoot fee “All the Money in the World” to the “Time’s Up” movement after it was revealed that his co-star Michelle Williams was only paid $1000

2003 [18] British police arrest The Who guitarist Pete Townshend for possessing indecent computer images of children (he’s later let off after claiming he was researching for an upcoming book on abuse)

2000 [21] Bill Gates resigns as CEO of Microsoft to focus on his charitable foundation

2010 [11] 14-year-old Brenden Adams of Ellensburg, WA sets the world record for tallest teenager at 7 feet, 5 inches


✓ The international dialing code for Russia is 007.
✓ Female mosquitos are deaf.
✓ Even though she has been the face of her own fragrance line for more than 10 years, Beyoncé is allergic to perfume.
✓ In 2003, a 2,300-year-old mummy with a mohawk was discovered in Ireland.
✓ Because of its shape, the first electric guitar was called the ‘Frying Pan’.
✓ Pants are responsible for twice as many accidents as chain saws.
– 1,227 Quite Interesting Facts to Blow Your Socks Off, BathroomReadersInstitute

Best of BS . . .

• Get Off My Lawn in 60 Seconds
• 8 Mile to School in the Snow
• No Patience for Old Men
• Nursing Home Alone
• Miracle on 401K Street
• Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex but Forgot What the Question Was
• Bill and Ted’s Excellent Dentures
• Sixty Candles
• Mighty Morphin Power Scooters
• Back In My Day to the Future
-Twitter, first published in Bs in 2020

➠ About 25% of adults have used a coupon on a first date. (Not me. It’s not worth the judgmental looks I get from everyone else at Chuck E. Cheese!)
➠ Experts claim that having sex after a heart attack could boost chances of survival. (Knowing this, the barista at Starbucks CLEARLY doesn’t want to give me the receipt.)
➠ A report claims that women who cannot experience sexual arousal are more likely to experience feelings of disgust. (And three times more likely to date me…)
➠ A woman from Santa Fe once stabbed her boyfriend repeatedly after she caught him cheating at Monopoly. (. . . In other words, he was bad at Monopoly, and even worse at Monogamy.)
➠ Sexperts say that having “relations” after a heart attack could boost your chances of survival. (If not, you could come and go at the same time!)

Loose legs:  https://tinyurl.com/yyxbmxv3

I had my patience tested. I’m negative.


What is the kindest thing a stranger ever did for you?

• What do you call a small group of people you agree to socialize with during lockdowns and social distancing?
a) Quaranteam [CORRECT]
b) Buddy bubble
c) Corona crew
d) Friends with benefits

• What is the term for the questionable style some people end up sporting when they must do their own hair maintenance at home?
a) A pandemic mullet
b) A coronacut [CORRECT]
c) Homemade toppings
d) The hairy badge of courage

• What’s the signature lockdown drink (no matter what ingredients are involved)?
a) Quarantini [CORRECT]
b) Coronapolitan
c) Locktail
d) Cry Tai

• If you’re in the mood to get intimate with someone, but you have to do it over video call, what is it called?
a) A Zoom boom
b) A Zooty call [CORRECT]
c) A digital get-down
d) Coronacamming

Question:  47% of us admit that we have talked to THIS. What is it?
Answer:  An ATM (bank machine)

To succeed, you need either inspiration or desperation.


Leave a comment