Friday, January 15, 2021 — Edition: #6894
Good Morning, Sheetheads!
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Siegfried Fischbacher — half of the famous “Siegfried & Roy” magic act — has died just 2 days after announcing he had cancer — and 8 months after his professional partner, Roy Horn passed away. Siegfried died Wednesday night at his home in Las Vegas from pancreatic cancer. His sister says the 81-year-old “fell asleep gently and peacefully.” The magician had just announced his terminal diagnosis, and though he’d undergone surgery to remove a malignant tumor, the cancer had already spread. Siegfried was reportedly released from the hospital at his own request to spend his final days at home.
★ Rebel Wilson has revealed that she was once kidnapped during a trip to Mozambique. She shared her story for the first time during an episode of “Straight Talking”, explaining that she was on a cattle truck with a group of women when men “with the big guns” in another truck pulled up alongside them. Wilson said: “I feel like I was very good in the crisis. They sat us down. I said, ‘Everybody link arms,’ I’m petrified in the night they might want to take one of the girls or something. Luckily, we weren’t harmed.” The next day, the women were released.
★ Rob Lowe dished on his possible Duke of Sussex sighting on “The Late Late Show”. He recently spotted Harry at a stoplight near their homes in Montecito, CA. According to Lowe, “It was very, very quick. Don’t totally quote me on it…It looked to me, as a casual observer, that his hair had grown very long and was pulled back very tightly by what I can only assume was a ponytail.” James Corden, who was a guest at Harry & Meghan’s wedding, had his doubts, saying “You know what I think happened? I think you didn’t see Prince Harry.” But Lowe wouldn’t back down, insisting he “followed him to the house to see if the car went in.”
★ The SAG Awards are being pushed back from a shared March date with the Grammys. The SAGs will now be simulcast on TBS and TNT on Sunday, April 4th. The Grammys were recently pushed back to March 14, creating the conflict. In a statement, SAG-AFTRA said: “Throughout these challenging times, our industry and our union members have proven their creativity and resilience in discovering new methods of storytelling while adapting to new safety protocols and procedures. We embrace that spirit as we re-imagine the SAG Awards with a one-hour special…that highlights…and honors the outstanding performances of the past year”
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Nicole Kidman, Cole Sprouse, Henry Hall
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Amy Poehler, Burna Boy, Chris Coleman (R)
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): George Lopez
• “The Talk” (CBS): Paul Bettany, Sean Murray
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Angela Bassett, Isaac Boots
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Harry Shum Jr., guest host Stephen “tWitch” Boss
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): Jennifer Love Hewitt
• “The Drew Barrymore Show” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): Ralph Macchio, Jenna Ortega
• “NFL Football” (FOX, CTV): Divisional round: Los Angeles at Green Bay
• “NFL Football” (NBC, CTV): Divisional round: Baltimore Ravens at Buffalo Bills
• “Two for the Win” (HALLMARK): A world-champion skier and a local instructor find romance on the slopes as he returns home to prepare for the biggest race of his life.
• “The Evil Twin” (LIFETIME): A woman escapes from an abusive relationship by moving back to her hometown, only to discover she has a long-lost twin sister who may be a murderer.
• “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire” (ABC): Karamo Brown plays for charity; a special education teacher tries for the $1 million prize.
• “Batwoman” (CW): Season 2 premiere.
• “NFL Football” (CBS, CTV): Divisional round: Cleveland at Kansas City
• “NFL Football” (FOX, CTV): Divisional round: Tampa Bay at New Orleans
• “Inside the Mind of Agatha Christie” (PBS): A profile of the author, with access to her personal notebooks, letters and diaries, as well as never-before-seen documents.
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Lady Gaga — will perform the U.S. National Anthem at US President-elect Joe Biden’s inauguration on Jan. 20. Demi Lovato, Justin Timberlake, Jon Bon Jovi and R&B singer Ant Clemons will also participate in “Celebrating America,” a live 90-minute prime-time special hosted by Tom Hanks.
• Beyoncé — has been named the most inspiring female celebrity for body positivity. A survey carried out by Activia Yogurt found that she, as well as Lizzo, Adele, Rebel Wilson, Jameela Jamil and Chrissy Teigen, are the stars people find most empowering when it comes to body acceptance.
• Backstreet Boys — Nick Carter and his wife Lauren are expecting their third child together after suffering multiple miscarriages. The happy couple shared the news in an interview with People, saying the pregnancy is a complete, but happy, surprise.
• Shakira – is the latest star to sell her music catalogue. The Hipgnosis Songs Fund Limited has acquired 100% of her music publishing rights, including the hits ‘Hips Don’t Lie’, ‘Whenever, Wherever’, ‘La Tortura’ and ‘She Wolf.’ This comes a month after Bob Dylan sold his publishing rights to Universal, while last week, Neil Young sold a 50% stake in his music to Hipgnosis.
• Adam Lambert – will celebrate his 39th birthday with a virtual gig at the Roxy Theatre in Los Angeles. He’ll livestream the show twice on Jan. 29, his actual birthday.
• AC/DC — Angus Young has denied persistent rumors that Axl Rose wrote and recorded new music with the group while acting as Brian Johnson’s live replacement. Rose stepped in to replace the singer for part of their “Rock or Bust World Tour” in 2016, after Johnson was forced to stop performing due to progressive hearing loss.
• Black Sabbath – will release reissues of their first two albums to feature Ronnie James Dio as frontman, 1980’s “Heaven and Hell” and 1981’s “Mob Rules”. Both new deluxe editions, out March 5, will feature extensive bonus live material.
• Neil Young – wasn’t kidding when he said he was going to start releasing archival material at a much faster rate this year. Weeks after the release of the 10-disc “Archives Volume II 1972-1976” and the live album/film “Return to Greendale”, he has announced “Way Down in the Rust Bucket”, a 1990 Crazy Horse club gig, will come out on Feb. 26 as a film and double album.
• Lady A – have a monopoly on the top spot on the country music airplay chart so far this year. For the second week in a row, ‘Champagne Night’ is at #1.
• Carrie Underwood — surprised a young fan during an appearance on “The Drew Barrymore Show”, teaming up with the host to donate $10,000 to 7-year-old Hayley Orlinsky’s local children’s hospital. Hayley is from Chicago and has been selling homemade bracelets to raise money after hearing that frontline workers were running out of PPE amid the pandemic. She has now raised over $27,000.
• Willie Nelson — has been announced as the 2021 keynote speaker for the SXSW Online conference in March. For the second year in a row, SXSW will not be held in person due to the pandemic. Matthew McConaughey, Samantha Bee, Devo’s Mark Mothersbaugh and Wyclef Jean are also among those speaking or appearing on panels.
SHOOTING THE BULL
GOOD NEWS ABOUT BAD TRAFFIC:
Traffic congestion has fallen in most countries for the first time in at least 10 years, thanks to Coronavirus-induced lockdowns, according to a new report by location company Tom Tom. Traffic declined sharply on the gridlocked roads of crowded cities in 2020, and the pandemic is expected to have a similar effect this year. Tom Tom’s study, based on data from 416 cities in 57 countries, found that the downturn in congestion in the US was more prolonged compared with Europe because coronavirus cases stayed relatively high during the summer and early fall in America. Los Angeles, New York and Miami were the most congested cities in the US, though traffic in each city dropped from 2019 levels by around 30%. Traffic congestion during rush hours decreased by 25% globally.
(I just haven’t seen that. Mostly because I haven’t been commuting either!)
(Which sort of makes me wonder why I’m still supposed to show up here at 4:30 every morning…)
(And yet, somehow, I still manage to take an hour and 45 minutes to get home on a Tuesday afternoon…)
NEWS OF THE WEIRD:
➢ A man in Mexico named Alberto dug a lengthy underground tunnel in order to have regular hookups with his married mistress, Pamela. How lengthy? It crossed beneath several streets from his house to hers. A newspaper report says it took Alberto several weeks to dig his tunnel of love (sorry, not sorry) and the story ended just the way you would expect it to. Alberto and Pamela were in the act when her husband Jorge arrived home from work early. It gets better. Alberto tried to hide under the bed and when the husband looked for him, Alberto was gone, escaped through a tunnel leading to his house. Jorge followed the tunnel and eventually found Alberto, who “begged him not to make noise because his wife was asleep.” (We’re hoping Pamela likes “the toothless look”…)
➢ The Canadian province of Quebec’s new 8pm curfew went into effect Saturday night as part of the latest wave of restrictions targeting the spread of COVID-19. Police gave out a slew of tickets and fines, including one that was issued despite a doggone creative explanation. When approached by police, a 24-year-old woman who was holding a 40-year-old man on a leash claimed to be walking her “dog.” The woman pointed out that strolling with one’s pooch is among the acceptable exceptions to the rule. (Was the man too pre-occupied with the officer’s leg to comment?)
DID YOU KNOW:
So far this winter, parts of Texas have seen more snow than some major Canadian cities. While flakes are not uncommon there, some Texans are seeing accumulation bordering on once-in-a-generation amounts. In central Texas, 40cm (15.7 inches) of snowfall has been reported in the past few weeks. That contrasts with a dismally low snowfall in parts of Canada, with Ottawa logging 29cm (11.4 i) in the same time frame, Winnipeg 27cm (10.6 in.), and Edmonton seeing just 3.4cm (1.3 in.) of snowfall.
(Houston…is that a problem?)
BS CHRONOMETER 01.15.21
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1947  Andrea Martin, Portland ME, movie actress (“My Big Fat Greek Wedding”)/TV actress (“SCTV” 1976-84, “Great News” 2017-18)
1968  Chad Lowe, Dayton OH, TV actor (‘Byron Montgomery’ on “Pretty Little Liars” 2010-17)/movie actor (“Unfaithful”)/brother of actor Rob Lowe
1971  Regina King, Los Angeles CA, movie actress (“If Beale Street Could Talk”, “Ray”)/TV actress (“American Crime” 2015-2017)
1979  Drew Bees, Austin TX, pro football QB (MVP in the New Orleans Saints Super Bowl XLIV victory/2-time NFL Offensive Player of the Year/13-time Pro Bowl)
1981  Pitbull (Armando Pérez), Miami FL, rapper (‘I Know You Want Me [Calle Ocho]’, feat. Kesha: ‘Timber’)
1988  Skrillex (Sonny Moore), LA CA, electronic dance music DJ-producer (‘Bangarang’)
2004  Grace VanderWaal, Lenexa KS, pop singer (‘I Don’t Know My Name’)/season 11 winner of “America’s Got Talent”)
SATURDAY- Director John Carpenter (“Halloween”) is 73; Sade (‘Smooth Operator’) is 62; Fashion model Kate Moss is 47; Lin-Manuel Miranda (“Hamilton”) is 41; Max Joseph (“Catfish”) is 39; Nick Valensi (The Strokes) is 40; Renée Felice Smith (“NCIS: Los Angeles”) is 36
SUNDAY- Betty White (“The Golden Girls”) is 99; James Earl Jones (“Star Wars”) is 90; Maury Povich (“Maury”) is 82; Steve Earle (‘Copperhead Road’) is 66; Steve Harvey (“Family Feud”) is 64; Jim Carrey (“Ace Ventura”) is 58; Former First Lady Michelle Obama is 57; Kid Rock (‘All Summer Long’) is 50; Zooey Deschanel (“New Girl”) is 41; Maksim Chmerkovskiy (“Dancing with the Stars”) is 41; Songwriter/producer Calvin Harris is 37
TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Fresh Squeezed Juice Day”. So, what’s your preference … Orange? Grapefruit? Red Man Chaw?
• “Hat Day”, to dispel the boredom of mid-Winter by wearing the goofiest hat you can find. (Always hilarious on radio…)
• “Humanitarian Day”, encouraging people to work together to disrupt the vicious cycle of poverty, hunger, and neglect.
• “Bagel Day”, a food holiday celebrating the deli favorite that involves topping a fresh-baked bagel with a shmear of cream cheese.
• “Wikipedia Day”, on this day, some fans traditionally organize parties to discuss Wikipedia and share cake. Typical activities include editors sharing what they did in Wikipedia last year, talks from those proposing to share information in Wikipedia in the coming year, training for newcomers, and socializing (and cake!).
• “Appreciate a Dragon Day”, celebrating fictional dragons as memorable characters. (Let’s see, there is “Puff”, “Pete’s”, The “How to Train Your Dragon” dragon, “Smaug” from “The Hobbit”, the “Game of Thrones” dragons, the “Harry Potter” one…and the dragon tattoo. That’s about it!)
• “Fig Newton Day”, celebrating the cookie with figs in the middle … the only figs many people ever eat.
• “International Hot & Spicy Food Day”, encouraging us to spice up our lives and add some zest to a Winter’s day. What’s the absolute hottest thing you’ve ever put in your mouth?
• “Religious Freedom Day”, when everyone has the right to believe the same stuff I do…
• “Nothing Day”, quite simply… a day for nothing…or as my boring neighbor Norman the accountant calls it, “Thursday”.
• “Prohibition Remembrance Day”, load up on brown bags and travel incognito with a flask strapped to your hip or tucked into your boot — that’s what many illegal drinkers did between Jan. 16, 1920 and Dec. 5, 1933, when the 18th amendment made it illegal to manufacture, transport or sell alcoholic beverages in the U.S.
• “National Without a Scalpel Day”, What do heart disease, stroke, aneurysms, and uterine fibroids have in common? They’re among a handful of conditions that can now be treated without surgery. In honor of this progress, The Interventional Initiative made today annual National Without a Scalpel Day.
• “Ditch New Year’s Resolutions Day”. Face it, some have already been broken and the rest you were never going to keep anyway, right? (My “Ditch New Year’s Resolution Day” started before the end of ‘Auld Lang Syne’!)
• “Customer Service Day”, an annual reminder of just how important it is for any business.
• “Hot-Buttered Rum Day”, celebrating the warm alcoholic beverage flavored with butter, salt, cinnamon, allspice, nutmeg, and cloves. These ingredients form a batter that is then mixed with rich, dark rum.
• “Kid Inventors Day”, to acknowledge the accomplishments of kid inventors and encourage the creativity of future ones. It’s estimated a half-million children and teens invent things each year. Among them – water skis, earmuffs, and the Popsicle. LINK: http://www.kidinventorsday.com
• “Bootleggers Day”, honoring the makers of ‘hooch’ throughout history. Why today? January 17 is the birthday of famed bootlegger Al Capone (also because Templeton Rye Whiskey came up with this excuse for free promotion).
• “Benjamin Franklin Day”, Born on this date in 1706, Ben Franklin was a polymath – an expert on a variety of different subjects. In addition to being one of America’s founding fathers, he was a prolific inventor, author, printer, politician, diplomat, musician, and postmaster. He also stopped attending school at the age of 10. (***See “BS Deep Thought”, below***)
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2005  Spearheaded by actor George Clooney, celebrities from music, TV, and movies band together for “Tsunami Aid: A Concert of Hope”, a telethon to benefit victims of the 2004 tsunami that devastated regions in Southeast Asia and Eastern Africa. Performers include Elton John, Sheryl Crow, Madonna, Roger Waters, Eric Clapton and Tim McGraw
2009  Pilot Chesley “Sully” Sullenberger makes a successful emergency landing in the Hudson River shortly after US Airways Flight 1549 takes from NYC’s LaGuardia Airport (leads to the 2016 Tom Hanks movie “Sully”)
TODAY IN MUSIC . . .
1972  Don McLean’s ‘American Pie’ hits #1 in the US for the first of 4 weeks. The single runs 8:36 – you have to flip the 45 over to hear all of it
2018  Cranberries singer Dolores O’Riordan dies in London at 46 (ruled as a result of accidental drowning in a bathtub due to sedation by alcohol intoxication)
TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1967  The first “Super Bowl” (although it isn’t called that until 2 years later), as 61,946 fans pay 10 bucks to watch legendary coach Vince Lombardi’s Green Bay Packers beat the KC Chiefs 35-10 in Los Angeles (MVP is Packer QB Bart Starr) …30-second TV commercials cost $42,000
2001  “Wikipedia”, the free online encyclopedia, goes online
TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1983  Tom Syles of Van Nuys, California sets a world record by keeping a single “Life Savers” candy intact in his mouth for 7 hours, 10 minutes
BS WHACK FACTS:
✓ If you were to drive a car at 100 kilometers an hour, 24 hours a day, you would reach the sun in about 3 years.
✓ Men get hiccups more often than women.
✓ An albatross can sleep while it flies.
✓ Anteaters prefer termites to ants.
✓ Surgeon scrubs are green to counteract eye stress from red blood (opposite colors).
✓ The average child will eat 1,500 peanut butter and jelly sandwiches by the he/she graduates from high school.
BS FAKE CEREAL FACTS:
• Franken Berry is made up of pieces of other cereal.
• Cap’n Crunch was dishonorably discharged in 1998.
• It’s best to put the milk into the bowl first.
• K-Pop is the latest cereal craze. (Wait…this could become true any minute…)
• Trix aren’t for kids, they’re for the man-child living in his parents basement at 40 and trolling strangers on the internet.
• Cheerios were invented by the British and used to throw at people rather than having to say “Cheerio”.
• iPhone chargers are called “Apple Jacks”.
• If you eat more than three bowls a day, you can be correctly referred to as a “cereal killer”.
• Cereal is no longer a thing since Saturday morning cartoons ended.
• Different colored Fruit Loops have different flavors.
• Mikey didn’t like it.
-Twitter, first published in BS in 2020
TODAY’S SLICE OF BS:
➠ I just read a survey that says that 52% of men think you can stay friends with a woman after having sex with them. (Or they’re just saying that so women will have sex with them…)
➠ A study shows that IQ scores are decreasing. (Meanwhile, “KUWTK” ratings are increasing. Coincidence?)
➠ Fact of the Day: A company once created candles that smelled like different U.S. states. (I don’t recommend New Jersey…)
➠ A study suggests that married couples who evenly divide child-raising duties have better sex lives. (“Define sex-life,” barked married couples with kids…)
BS WEB GOODIE:
(***Caution, content***) Morgan Freeman narrates Grandma Sandy: https://tinyurl.com/yyjmyz52
BS RANDOM JOKE:
Don’t bother walking a mile in my shoes. That would be boring. Spend 30 seconds in my head. That’ll freak you right out.
BS PHONE STARTER:
What’s the dumbest thing you’ve ever done while on “auto-pilot”?
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: According to Google, how-to/do-it-yourself home projects are some of the most searched on YouTube. This simple instructional video made the top 10. What is it?
Answer: How to unclog a toilet
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
He that falls in love with himself will have no rivals. – Benjamin Franklin