Friday, January 26, 2024 – Edition: #7643
The BS Press!
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Billy Joel has been added to the lineup of performers for the 66th annual Grammy Awards, the Recording Academy has announced. Joel, who made his Grammy stage debut in 1988 singing ‘New York State of Mind’, will return at the Feb. 4 ceremony, joining a lineup that includes Burna Boy, Luke Combs, Travis Scott, Billie Eilish, Dua Lipa and Olivia Rodrigo. A 5-time winner and Grammy Legend Award recipient, Joel has just announced the release of ‘Turn the Lights Back On’, his first new single in 17 years.
-Variety
★ An Australian police department has joked it is “investigating” Margot Robbie’s Oscars snub. Victoria Police is having some fun on social media after the “Barbie” actress – who was born and raised in Queensland – failed to land a nomination in the best actress category for the Academy Awards, while co-star Ryan Gosling did get a nod for his role as ‘Ken’. Alongside a collage of pics of Robbie, the cops wrote: “Police are investigating after a former resident of Ramsay Street was allegedly robbed of an Oscar nomination for best actress.” The force also took the opportunity to encourage local residents to report all non-urgent crimes, such as theft, using an online reporting tool.
-Bang!
★ Jon Stewart is going home again. The comedian will return to host Comedy Central’s “The Daily Show” every Monday beginning Feb. 12, through the 2024 presidential election, the network has announced. Stewart will also return as executive producer of the Emmy-winning satirical take on the news. For the rest of each week’s episodes, a rotating line-up of the show’s correspondents will share hosting duties. Stewart hosted the show from 1999-2015.
-USAToday
★ When the skirt Sarah Jessica Parker famously wore as ‘Carrie Bradshaw’ for “Sex and the City’s” opening theme went up for auction, no one exepected that it would sell for much more than $10-$12,000. But as it turns out, the 3-tiered white tulle skirt featuring a satin waistband ultimately sold for a whopping $52,000 at Julien’s Unstoppable: Signature Styles Iconic Women In Fashion auction. It was only outsold by a dress worn by Princess Diana and a Givenchy ensemble Grace Kelly wore while meeting JFK, both of which sold for $325,000. And the best part? A costume designer only spent $5 on PArker’s tutu in New York City’s garment district, ahead of filming.
-E!
★ The new “Road House” movie is coming, and Prime Video has released the official trailer and poster. The poster pays homage to the 1989 original, starring Patrick Swayze. It contains several easter eggs, including a photo of the monster truck that destroyed the car dealership, a glass with the Double Deuce logo, and a “Be Nice” sign. It also includes a “3 Simple Rules” sign that says “Expect the Unexpected,” “Take it Outside” and “Be Nice.” Jake Gyllenhaal, the star of the remake, is in the middle of the poster, wearing an unbuttoned shirt with cuts and bruises on his body. The 2024 version of Road House streams on Mar. 21. LINKS: http://tinyurl.com/s8bx4bcb http://tinyurl.com/5n8kteks
-PopCulture
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live!” (ABC/Global): TBA
• “The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Ken Jeong, Dwyane Wade, Pete Lee
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): TBA
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Tina Fey, Andrew Scott
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): International Holocaust Remembrance Day with Dov Forman
• “The Talk” (CBS): Nicole Walters
• “Live With Kelly and Mark” (ABC/CTV): Naomi Watts
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (Check local listings): Jamie Oliver, Tom Hollander, Brittany Mahomes
• “The Drew Barrymore Show” (Check local listings): Jacqueline Novak, Erika Alexander
• “Jennifer Hudson Show” (Check local listings): Snoop Dogg, Myka Meier
• “90 Day Fiancé” (TLC): Rob worries Sophie may never have his back; Nikki and Justin go horseback riding; fallout from Jasmine’s revelation; Ashley surprises Manuel; Sam tells Citra’s father his secret.
• “Hustlers Gamblers Crooks” (DSC): A crafty card counter robs casinos using a computerized shoes; a veteran card cheat must out-cheat another cheater; a brazen bookie attempts to outrun the law.
• “Penn & Teller: Fool Us” (CW): Featured magicians include Sanjeev Vinodh, Mortenn Christiansen, Giancarlo Bernini and Jeffrey Wang.
SATURDAY-
• “Family Film and TV Awards” (CBS): Celebrating excellence in family-oriented film and TV. Akbar Gbajabiamila and Amanda Kloots host.
• “America Salutes You Presents: Concert for Gratitude” (CW): Honoring America’s veterans and first responders. Performers include Clint Black, Chrissy Metz, Dustin Lynch, Jo Dee Messina, Alana Springsteen, Megan Moroney, Walker Hayes, Craig Morgan, Jelly Roll and Trace Adkins.
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC): Host Dakota Johnson, Justin Timberlake performs.
SUNDAY-
• “Yellowstone” (CBS); Beth reveals a secret to her father; John confronts two cowboys about old feuds; a search gets underway on the reservation.
• “Homestead Rescue” (DSC): A family of recent transplants from California that is longing for ranch life in Texas finds itself on one of the most unsuitable homesteads the Raneys have seen yet.
• “NFL Football” (Check local listings): AFC Championship: Kansas City Chiefs @ Baltimore Ravens
• “NFL Football” (Check local listings): NFC Championship: Detroit Lions @ San Francisco 49ers
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• The Kid LAROI – Today, he drops his new single ‘Heaven’. About the ballad, he posted: “This one’s super personal for a lot of different reasons. It’s about evolving and leaving the past behind. Changing the way you once thought and perceived the world. Growing up!” LINK: http://tinyurl.com/thz3m5dy
• Jack Antonoff – The Bleachers frontman has revealed that he is the producer behind Apple TV’s upcoming series “The New Look”, which will span 10 episodes. The soundtrack, which will consist of covers of early to mid-20th-century songs, will feature Lana Del Rey, The 1975, Beabadoobee, Nick Cave and Perfume Genius. The first single, ‘White Cliffs of Dover’ by Florence + The Machine, will be released on January 31. LINK: http://tinyurl.com/y6hppvyp
• Greta Van Fleet — has shared ‘The Indigo Streak (Live From RCA Studio A)’. The reimagined version of the song, off the group’s Grammy-nominated third studio album “Starcatcher”, was performed and filmed at the famed studio in Nashville. It’s the first in a series of songs tracked by the band there, which they will release on a weekly basis. LINK: http://tinyurl.com/5bucrcar
• Bon Jovi – More news: The group has kicked off “#BonJovi40” by announcing the deluxe re-release of its self-titled debut album, featuring 9 bonus tracks. It’s only available on streaming, LP and cassette, not CD. LINK: http://tinyurl.com/26jn55ry
• Guns N’ Roses – has unveiled a video for the new song ‘The General’, which dropped last month. The band’s first-ever A.I.-powered music video intercuts 20 live vignettes with an animated dive into the subconscious of a young boy who stares down the monsters of dark childhood memories. LINK: http://tinyurl.com/3erk6nbu
• Elle King – Her scheduled performance tonight at the Fort Worth music venue Billy Bob’s Texas has been “postponed”. No reason was given, but King made headlines last weekend at the Grand Old Opry’s Dolly Parton tribute, where she botched a Parton song, and told the audience that she was “(bleeping) hammered”. LINK: http://tinyurl.com/44nc6z9b
• Conner Smith – will livestream his sold-out album release show tonight in Nashville – for free. It starts at 9:15pm CT on YouTube and Facebook. Smith’s debut album “Smoky Mountains” is out today. LINK: http://tinyurl.com/3matvt6r
• Chris Young – His lawyer has demanded an apology after the singer’s arrest on Monday night. Newly available video shows Young touch a Tennessee Alcoholic Beverage Commission agent on the shoulder to get his attention. The agent reacts by shoving Young, causing him to stumble backward and into the corner of the bar, then to the ground. LINK: http://tinyurl.com/y3b4dsu3
• Scotty McCreery – The new video for his current single ‘Cab in a Solo’ made its broadcast premiere on CMT on Wed., and played on the Paramount billboard in New York City’s Times Square. It not only gives fans a glimpse of McCreery in the studio with son Avery, it also shows him performing in front of 92,000 fans at the University of Nebraska. LINK: http://tinyurl.com/u5z7r4v7
SHOOTING THE BULL
NEW MOVIES THIS WEEK:
• “Miller’s Girl” (R, Comedy/Drama): A talented young writer embarks on a creative odyssey when her teacher assigns a project that entangles them both in an increasingly complex web. (Martin Freeman, Jenna Ortega, Bashir Salahuddin) No Tomatometer rating
• “Sometimes I Think About Dying” (PG-13, Comedy/Drama, limited): Fran is ghosting through life, unable to pop her bubble of isolation, when a friendly new coworker persistently tries to connect with her. Though it goes against every fiber of her being, she may have to give this guy a chance. (Daisy Ridley, Dave Merheje, Parvesh Cheena) Tomatometer: 78%
POUR DECISIONS:
Lately, we’ve been hearing more and more about the possible negative physical effects of drinking alcohol. With that in mind, a new study suggests the solution to ending problem drinking could be as simple as . . . smaller glasses. Researchers from the University of Cambridge conducted a study involving 21 pubs and bars in the UK, where they removed the option of serving wine in large glasses (250ml, about ⅓ a bottle of wine). What they discovered was this: Eliminating that larger glass option resulted in an average decrease of just under 8% in wine sales. And interestingly, despite this reduction, pub owners did not suffer financially, because smaller glasses typically have higher profit margins. And there was no corresponding increase in beer or cider sales during this period, indicating that people didn’t compensate for their decreased wine consumption by drinking more of other alcoholic beverages. While an 8% reduction in wine sales may seem modest, the researchers say that removing the largest serving size could be an effective strategy for encouraging customers to drink less alcohol.
(Either that, or it’ll encourage them to drink straight out of the bottle!)
(I went to ask my wife about this idea, and she slapped me in the face before I could finish the question!)
-StudyFinds
NEWS OF THE WEIRD (Toilet humor edition):
➢ Officials at a British zoo say that a group of foul-mouthed parrots that were isolated from the rest of the flock are being moved back in with the rest of the chatty birds in the hopes of cleaning up their language. The Lincolnshire Wildlife Park famously received 5 African gray parrots from different owners in 2020, and the new arrivals spent their time in quarantine teaching each other a variety of profanities. The birds were removed from the rest of the zoo’s flock to keep them from teaching bad words to dozens of other parrots. Now, the recent arrival of 3 more potty-mouthed parrots led operators to make the decision to put all 8 of the cussing birds in with the rest of the parrots. The chief executive of the park said keepers are hoping the swearing parrots will learn better etiquette from the rest of the flock, instead of the other way around. Otherwise, he said, “We might end up with 100 swearing parrots on our hands.” (Maybe it’s people who are the problem, not the parrots!)
➢ A gassy passenger is being blamed for an American Airlines flight being delayed from Phoenix to Austin. That’s according to a person who posted the story on Reddit. The redditor says they were seated near a perturbed man who was grumbling about something under his breath. After most passengers were seated, they overheard the disgruntled man say, “You thought that was rude? Well how about this smell?” before loudly passing gas. The man then proceeded to complain about the smell of food from other passengers and then got in an argument with several of them. That led to the flight, which was heading towards the runway for takeoff, being stopped and returning to the gate, where the man was escorted off the plane. The Redditor wrote that at that point, “We all breathed a sigh of relief.” The flight was delayed 15-30 minutes. (“Sorry, folks – we’ve run into some unexpected flatulence…)
-People, Fox, UPI
DID YOU KNOW?
A recent survey found that many believe that eating healthy during the day gives us a “hall pass” to overindulge in unhealthy food at night. The poll of 2,000 US residents found the average person overdoes it in unhealthy food 3 nights per week. Six in 10 (62%) admitted they always sacrifice taste over nutritional value when it comes snack time. Snacks are considered a “must” for 83% of people — who say they have “at least” 2 a day. (Same. One all morning, one all evening!)
-StudyFinds
BS CHRONOMETER 01.26.24
TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Australia Day”, the national day for our mates Down Under, commemorating the 1788 landing of Captain Arthur Phillip at Sydney to establish a penal colony. Records of an annual celebration date back to 1808. (FUN FALSE FACT: Australia’s biggest export is boomerangs. It’s also their biggest import!)
• Fun At Work Day”, because experts say when we enjoy our work, we’re more productive. Here are a few suggestions for having fun at work . . .
✓ Find out where your boss shops, and buy the same exact outfits. Always wear them one day after your boss does. (Especially effective if your boss is of a different gender.)
✓ Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
✓ Include a piece of your kid’s artwork as a cover page for all reports you write.
✓ When answering your phone, talk in a fake British accent.
✓ Make up corny nicknames for all your co-workers and refer to them only by these names. (“That’s a good point, Sparky.”)
✓ Take a picture of your boss, have it framed, and display it prominently on your desk.
✓ Leave the photocopy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17-inch paper, 99 copies.
✓ Send e-mail to the company DL, telling them EXACTLY what you’re doing. (“If anyone needs me, I’ll be in the bathroom.”)
✓ Pretend your computer mouse is a CB radio mic. Talk to it.
• “Big Wig Day”, Hmmm…How could we make this occasion work in conjunction with “Fun at Work Day”?) LINK: https://nationalbigwigday.com
• “Peanut Brittle Day”, celebrating the yummy treat that sticks to your fillings. A little sugar, a little corn syrup, a little more sugar, some peanuts, a little butter, a little more sugar …
• “Spouse’s Day”, a time to enjoy and appreciate your better half. (Just before you deposit this month’s alimony…)
• “International Customs Day”, recognizing the role of custom officials and agencies in maintaining border security. It focuses on the working conditions and challenges that customs officers face on-the-job. (To celebrate, body-frisk a co-worker today. Just kidding!)
• “Green Juice Day”, to encourage people to stick to their health and wellness resolutions by drinking a green juice and staying healthy. (Why do I have the feeling this is going to involve kale?)
• “Lotus 1-2-3 Day”, marking the anniversary of the day in 1983 when the Lotus 1-2-3 spreadsheet program, which was a 3-in-1 spreadsheet calculator, database manager, and graphics package, debuted as an application for the IBM PC.
SATURDAY-
• “International Holocaust Remembrance Day”, commemorating the victims of the holocaust initiated by the WWII Nazi regime and its collaborators. On January 27 1945, Auschwitz-Birkenau, the largest Nazi concentration and death camp, was liberated by the Soviet Red Army.
• “Vietnam Peace Day”, observed on the anniversary of the 1973 peace deal signed in Paris that brought an end to America’s (then) longest war.
• “Punch the Clock Day”, a day to calmly do your job stress-free, then go home and enjoy your real life (Sorry, I’ve already “punched out” for the weekend!)
• “Thomas Crapper Day”, in honor of the man who invented the toilet flush mechanism, on the anniversary of his death in 1910. Thomas Crapper & Co became engineers by appointment to the English ‘throne’. (Perhaps you’d like a souvenir to mark this fine occasion…LINK: https://tinyurl.com/y64rfdcn)
• “National Geographic Day”, marking the 1888 foundation of the National Geographic Society in Washington DC by a group of geographers, explorers, teachers, lawyers, cartographers, military officers, and financiers. (Just like National Geographic, [***co-host***] has issues going waaaay back!)
• “National Chocolate Cake Day”, there’s no shame in overindulging in dessert today, as long as it’s chocolate cake! Made with melted chocolate, cocoa powder, or both, chocolate cakes were first baked in the late 19th century.
SUNDAY-
• “Daisy Day”, celebrating the flower that symbolizes innocence and purity (also the best one for playing “he loves me, he loves me not”)
• “Blueberry Pancake Day”, because they’re nutritious enough to eat for breakfast, tasty enough for a mid-day snack, and easy enough to make for dinner. (If you can’t find your napkin, it’s probably stuck to your elbow…) LINK: https://tinyurl.com/y5vlwa5s
• “Data Privacy Day”, to raise awareness about the importance of protecting your personal info online. It’s observed in Canada, the USA, and 27 European countries. (Because when companies say “We value your privacy” …what they really mean is “We put a value on your privacy!”) LINK: https://pacc-ccap.ca/dpd/
• “LEGO Day”, to celebrate these ingenious and enriching toys. How? You could visit a Legoland theme park (in Carlsbad, CA, Winter Haven, FL and other places — there’s also a Legoland Discovery Center in Tempe, AZ), you could watch one of the “Lego” movies, or you could simply build something with Lego. (Go all out and invite a kid to join you…)
• “Kazoo Day”, honoring the (annoying) musical instrument that even the most untalented can play.
• “Pop Art Day”, celebrated annually on the anniversary of Jackson Pollock’s birth. His works are classified as abstract expressionism, very different from the pop art of artists like Andy Warhol and Roy Lichtenstein.
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1934 [90] Bob Uecker, Milwaukee WI, baseball announcer (honored in 2021 for 50 years as the comedic play-by-play announcer for Milwaukee Brewers’ radio broadcasts)/movie actor (“Major League” movies)/former MLB player
1949 [75] David Strathairn, San Francisco CA, movie actor (“Bourne” films, “Good Night, and Good Luck”)
1957 [67] Deep Roy (Mohinder Purba), Nairobi Kenya, movie actor (“Charlie and the Chocolate Factory”, “Star Trek”)
1958 [66] Ellen DeGeneres, Metairie LA, comedian/TV personality (“Ellen DeGeneres Show” 2003-22, “American Idol” 2010-11)/TV actress (“Ellen” 1994-98)/movie actress (voice of ‘Dory’ in “Finding Nemo” and “Finding Dory’)/married to Portia de Rossi since 2008
1958 [66] Anita Baker, Toledo OH, jazz/soul singer (‘Giving You the Best That I Got’, ‘Sweet Love’)
1961 [63] Wayne Gretzky (“The Great One”), Brantford ON, retired NHL player (9-time MVP, 10-time scoring champ, 4-time Stanley Cup winner)/all-time greatest hockey player?/NHL coach (Phoenix Coyotes 2005-09)
1963 [61] Andrew Ridgeley, Surrey England, pop singer (Wham!-‘Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go’)
1964 [60] Paul Johansson, Spokane WA (raised Kelowna BC), TV actor (“One Tree Hill” 2003-12, “Van Helsing” 2016-18)/director (“Atlas Shrugged: Part I”)
1981 [43] Colin O’Donoghue, Drogheda Ireland, TV actor (‘Captain Hook’ on “Once Upon a Time” 2012-18)
1994 [30] Joseph Quinn, London England, TV actor (‘Eddie Munson’ on “Stranger Things” 2022) COMING UP… “Gladiator 2”, 2024
SATURDAY- James Cromwell (“Babe”) IS 84; Nick Mason (Pink Floyd) is 80; Frank Miller (director-“Sin City” films) is 67; Cris Collinsworth (“NBC Sunday Night Football”) is 65; Margo Timmins (Cowboy Junkies) is 63; Bridget Fonda (“Single White Female”) is 60; Alan Cumming (“The Good Wife”) is 59; Tracy Lawrence, (‘If the Good Die Young’) is 56; Mike Patton (Faith No More) is 56; Patton Oswalt (“The King of Queens”) is 55; Guillermo Rodriguez (“Jimmy Kimmel Live!”) is 53; Rosamund Pike (“Gone Girl”) is 45; Matt Sanchez (American Authors) is 37
SUNDAY- Alan Alda (“M*A*S*H”) is 88; Sarah McLachlan (‘I Will Remember You’) is 56; Rick Ross (f/T-Pain-‘The Boss’) is 48; Joey Fatone (*NSYNC) is 47; Nick Carter (Backstreet Boys) is 44; Elijah Wood (“Lord of the Rings” films) is 43; J. Cole (‘Nobody’s Perfect’) is 39; Will Poulter (“The Revenant”) is 31; Ariel Winter (“Modern Family”) is 26
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2003 [21] The late-night talk show “Jimmy Kimmel Live!” debuts on ABC
2009 [15] 8 children are born to Nadya Suleman, whom the media dubs ‘Octomom’ (public reaction turns negative when it’s discovered the unemployed single mom already has 6 other kids via in vitro fertilization)
2010 [14] Director James Cameron’s film “Avatar” surpasses his 1997 movie “Titanic” to become the highest-grossing film of all-time (eventually totaling $2.9 billion)
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
2006 [18] Garth Brooks’ “Double Live” album, released in 1998, becomes the first live album certified Double Diamond, for sales of over 20 million in America
2019 [05] Miranda Lambert gets married for a second time, tying the knot with police officer Brendan Mcloughlin in a secret ceremony. Her first marriage was to Blake Shelton
2020 [04] 18-year-old Billie Eilish wins 4 of the 9 televised awards at the Grammys, including the big ones: Song of the Year, Record of the Year, Album of the Year and Best New Artist
TODAY IN SPORTS . . .
2020 [04] LA Lakers legend Kobe Bryant, his daughter Gianna and 7 others die in a helicopter crash in foggy conditions in the hills above Calabasas, California
TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1972 [52] Serbian flight attendant Vesna Vulovic survives the highest-ever fall without a parachute — 10,160 meters (6.3 miles)
BULL’S BITS
BS WHACK FACTS:
✓ The human brain has enough memory to hold 3 million hours of television.
✓ Disney was sued by a biologist for defaming the character of hyenas in “The Lion King”.
✓ Pencil sales increased 700% the year after Sudoku became popular.
✓ A study found that Instagramming your food before eating it may make it taste better.
✓ Cats can hear ultrasound.
✓ A slang word used by bankers for those who pay off their credit cards in full each month is “deadbeats”.
-WhattheFfacts, RandomFactGenerator
BS WEEKEND TO-DO LIST:
• Make vanilla pudding. Put in mayo jar. Eat in public.
• Hire 2 private investigators. Get them to follow each other.
• Wear shirt that says “Life”. Hand out lemons on street corner.
• Get into crowded elevator and say: “I bet you’re all wondering why I gathered you here today.”
• Major in philosophy. Ask people WHY they would like fries with that.
• Run into a store, ask what year it is. When someone answers, yell: “It worked!” and run out cheering.
• Become a doctor. Change last name to “Acula”.
• Change name to “Simon”. Speak in third person.
• Buy a parrot. Teach it to say: “Help! I’ve been turned into a parrot!”
• Follow joggers around in car, blasting ‘Eye of the Tiger’ for encouragement.
-KindHumour
TODAY’S SCOOP OF BS:
➠ Billie Eilish will perform at the Oscars on March 10. (So — Hey, at least we know 4 of the show’s 987 minutes will be decent.)
➠ Lindsay Lohan turned down an offer from “Dancing with the Stars” because she says she doesn’t want to do reality TV. (Or even reality, for that matter…)
➠ Alec Baldwin has been indicted again on involuntary manslaughter charges for the “Rust” shooting incident. (He’s just one indictment away from being named an honorary Republican…!)
➠ There’s an ice cream made with Maker’s Mark whiskey that’s supposed to treat symptoms of the flu. (My wife also uses it to treat symptoms of her jerk boss, disrespectful kids…and me!)
➠ Research shows that viewing friends’ vacations, love lives, and work successes on Facebook can cause envy, and trigger feelings of misery and loneliness. (So, it’s settled: Facebook should only be used to see how chubby your high school bullies have gotten!)
BS WEB GOODIE:
Sing! It’s Friday: http://tinyurl.com/49bhe6nz
BS RANDOM JOKE:
I have clean conscience. I haven’t used it once.
BS PHONE STARTER:
What word do you always misspell?
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: 10% of people believe having one of THESE makes them seem more attractive to the opposite sex. What is it?
Answer: A cute dog
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Count your age by friends, not years. Count your life by smiles, not tears.
