January 11 2023

Print Friendly, PDF & Email

Wednesday, January 11, 2023 – Edition: #7393

Never Accept a Generic – Ask For Pure “BS”!


★ Celebrities have been ordered to evacuate their homes after a fierce winter storm pounded the Montecito, California area with heavy rains, resulting in flooding and dangerous mudslides. Santa Barbara County officials have announced mandatory “immediate evacuation” orders for an area that includes a number of big-name celebs including Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, Oprah Winfrey, Ellen DeGeneres, Katy Perry, Chris Pratt, Ariana Grande, and Rob Lowe, and others. Monday, the area was hit with another round of storms that brought at least 8 inches of rainfall over just 12 hours.
★ Kate Winslet has gone viral after empowering a nervous young journalist conducting her first interview. In the clip, which is all over social media, the “Avatar: The Way of Water” star sat down for a chat with a young lady who admitted she was anxious, saying: “It’s my first time.” Winslet leans forward and says: “OK, well, guess what. When we do this interview, it’s going to be the most amazing interview ever. And do you know why? Because we’ve decided that it is going to be.” The interviewer nervously laughs, and Winslett continues, saying: “You can ask me anything that you want and you don’t have to be scared, everything is going to be amazing.” After the young journalist agrees, The “Titanic” star reassures her again, saying: “You got this. OK, let’s do it!” LINK: https://tinyurl.com/y3jda5bz
★ Montell Jordan is sharing an update on the hand injury that forced him to withdraw from “Special Forces: World’s Toughest Test”. The 54-year-old took to Instagram with some insight into his injuries after being one of 4 celeb contestants to withdraw during the premiere episode of the FOX reality competition. Jordan was forced out after “tearing the main ligaments” in the thumb of his dominant hand. He shared photos from throughout his treatment, writing that the injury was “extremely painful” and that he’s “still recovering.” LINK: https://tinyurl.com/5n6fbxxt
★ “Grease: Rise of the Pink Ladies” will debut on Paramount+ on April 6 in the US and Canada (April 7 in the UK, Australia and several other countries). In the teaser trailer for the series, which stars Marisa Davila, Cheyenne Isabel Wells, Tricia Fukuhara and Ari Notartomas, which dropped on Monday, we see the girls being advised by Jackie Hoffman’s assistant principal, “Be careful with whom you associate. A lady’s reputation is all she has.” But the Pink Ladies decide, “Sometimes, you gotta be bad to do good,” and declare: “Things are about to get wild.” The series is set in 1954, 4 years before the events of the 1978 film. LINK: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Na_Qvxmnrw
★ On the 1-year anniversary of his death, Bob Saget’s wife Kelly Rizzo asked Elon Musk to restore her late husband’s Twitter verification. In addition to sharing a heartfelt tribute to Saget on Instagram, Rizzo directly tweeted Elon Musk, noting that his blue checkmark has disappeared, and writing: “Out of respect for his legacy, can something be done? I know Bob would be very bummed about this. He’d say “if someone goes to see my page and all the jokes I’ve tweeted over the years, how will they know it’s for sure me!?””
★ Jennifer Lawrence still has a few celebs she’s left starstruck by. In a new W Magazine article, she says: “To me, the biggest celebrities in the world are, like, Pete Davidson. Or when Ariana Grande was in my last film, ‘Don’t Look Up’, I was photographed with her and I fully look like a radio contest winner.” But there’s one other actress that would simply take her breath away. Quote: “I would be starstruck if I saw Jessica Simpson. That would knock me over.” The 32-year-old also shared that while growing up, she had posters of Avril Lavigne up in her room. “And a poster of dogs.”

• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Bryan Cranston
• “The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Pedro Pascal, Finn Wolfhard, Drew & Jonathan Scott, Myke Towers
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Janelle Monáe, Jamie Oliver
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Common, Nico Parker, Inhaler, Fab Moretti
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Alexandra Daddario, Paul Dano, Jenny Zigrino
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Brandi Glanville, Michelle Buteau
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Steve Harvey, Drew & Jonathan Scott
• “The Talk”(CBS): Kurtwood Smith, Debra Jo Rupp
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Gerard Butler, Mel B
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (Check local listings): Andie MacDowell, Whitney Peak, Brad Meltzer, Scarlett Johansson, Deon Cole
• “The Drew Barrymore Show” (Check local listings): RuPaul, Anne Burrell
• “Jennifer Hudson Show” (Check local listings): Taylor Tomlinson
• “Lingo” (CBS): Premiere. Host RuPaul Charles welcomes 4 teams to face off in this fast-paced word-twisting game show.
• “Celebrity Name That Tune” (Fox): Season 3 premiere. Chris Jericho, Adam Rippon, Todrick Hall and Sheryl Swoopes.
• “The Conners” (ABC): The death of a beloved teacher from Dan and Jackie’s high school brings old classmates together; Becky asks Darlene and Ben for a big favor.


• Miley Cyrus – continues to come up with inventive ways to promote her new single ‘Flowers’, out this Friday. On Instagram, she shared a naked shower video, showing her from the back, washing her hair and singing. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/27kctmcf
• Rihanna – The Super Bowl halftime performer has released a collection of football-inspired Fenty gear under the “Game Day” banner. It features 17 styles, including hoodies, boxers and varsity jerseys, plus a white tee with the message: “Rihanna Concert Interrupted by a Football Game, Weird But Whatever.” LINK: https://tinyurl.com/kmectm6y
• (***Caution – language***) Ed Sheeran – British TV presenter Piers Morgan has apologized after a tweet posted from his hacked account called Sheeran a “ginger pr*ck”. Other posts included abusive messages about Queen Elizabeth II, racial slurs and misinformation. Morgan said sorry, “In particular to @edsheeran who I think is a very gifted singer-songwriter with a fine head of hair, not a ‘ginger pr*ck’”.
• Mötley Crüe and Def Leppard — have announced an “intimate show” at the Hard Rock Live in Hollywood FL on March 12. Tickets go on sale Friday. It is billed as part of the 2 groups’ “The World Tour” happening this spring and summer. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/7fzvxxxv
• The Black Crowes – former drummer Steve Gorman has joined the morning show of a Minneapolis classic rock radio station. The syndicated radio host, author, and podcaster is now a part of the established “KQ Morning Show” on KQRS. Gorman began his radio career in 2011 with “Steve Gorman Sports!”, which aired in Nashville.
• Jelly Roll — The rapper turned country-rocker has earned his first #1 with his debut country single ‘Son of a Sinner’. On social media, he thanked fans, writing: “I’m so filled with gratitude as tears stream down my face while I type this, I currently have the number 1 song on country radio.” LINK:  https://tinyurl.com/326zvs4w
• The Chicks – From ‘Sin Wagon’ to “Sin City” – they are the latest country act to take their live show to Las Vegas. Natalie Maines, Martie Maguire and Emily Strayer have announced they will play Zappos Theater stage at Planet Hollywood Resort & Casino May 3, 5, 6, 10, 12 and 13.
• Tim McGraw — has been outed as an Olivia Rodrigo fan. On Instagram, Faith Hill shared a video of her husband singing and dancing to Rodrigo’s hit ‘Good 4 U’ in the car, and writing: “This is a…very rare look into a side of my husband that only his girls and I get to see.” LINK: https://tinyurl.com/5xpdn668


If you want to be healthier, hang out with your friends, says a University of Maryland professor. Marisa G. Franco, author of “Platonic: How the Science of Attachment Can Help You Make — and Keep — Friends”, says people tend to rank romantic love as important to our well-being, and friendship is sometimes seen as “second class”. But people with strong friendships tend to have better mental health and studies suggest they’re in better physical health, as well. How? There is a strong psychological effect of friendship. Simply put: Friends help us cope with stress. In one study, people were intimidated at the prospect of climbing a steep hill. But when people were standing next to a friend, they rated the hill less challenging than those who were alone. Brain imaging studies suggest that friendship affects brain systems associated with well-being, reward, stress and negative emotions. And friendship even seems to affect our immune response in a positive way.
(Maybe so, but I can assure that exactly NOTHING I’ve ever done while with my friends was good for my health…whatsoever!)
(Also this: I know that my wife wouldn’t be able to stand me for one more day if she didn’t have friends to complain to about me…!)

A Japanese company has introduced a line of hospital gowns that are not only comfortable – but also stylish. Lifte, a joint venture between a medical supply company and a hospital clothing service, claims that dressing well an important way to relieve stress as a patient. Not only are Lifte gowns designed with fashion in mind, but they are also made from a special fabric that maintains its softness, making the clothes more comfortable to wear. Lifte gowns come in 2 types – classic and bathrobe – and 4 colors: pink rice, dusk blue, gray, and wine red. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/yc38jjbt
(I know! Hospital gowns are the worst! They’re like my health insurance — You’re never covered as much as you think you are!)
(I’ve seen the pictures. They’re nice – but they’re definitely not drafty enough for use in a hospital!)

Hot dog! Oscar Mayer is looking for a crew of drivers for its iconic “Wienermobile”. The job description says those selected will visit over 20 states in the legendary hot-dog-shaped vehicle, travel more than 200,000 miles, serve as an Oscar Mayer spokesperson at over 200 events, and document their journeys on social media. Ideal candidates for the year-long position are “outgoing, creative, friendly, enthusiastic, graduating college seniors who have an appetite for adventure and are willing to see the country through the windshield of the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile,” says the company. There are 12 Wienermobile driver positions available, and the competition is fierce: In past years, less than 1% of applicants were selected. No word on how much the position of “Hotdogger” pays. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/3yfak72d
(“I wish I were an Oscar Mayer wiener…mobile driver…”)
(So, if you think you could ‘cut the mustard’… Ha! Just try ‘topping’ that one!)

You’ve seen the annual list of words “Banished from the English language”. Now, Wayne State University is out with its list of words that we should use more often. Now in its 14th year, Wayne State’s “Word Warriors” program aims to resurrect long-lost — but not completely forgotten — words. Here is the 2023 list:
✓ Bunbury:  To create a fictitious scenario that provides an excuse for avoiding unwanted engagements. (Is it correct to say “I have to go to my Aunt’s bunbury…she died again”?)
✓ Claptrap:  Absurd or nonsensical talk or ideas. (I think I just thought of a new name for this show!)
✓ Crepuscular:  Of, relating to, or resembling twilight. (Coming soon: The latest movie in the Crepuscular Saga. Doesn’t have that same ring to it, does it?)
✓ Gasconade:  To boast extravagantly. (I was SURE this was going to be another name for Gas-X!)
✓ Mogshade:  The shadow cast by trees. (How about just ‘shade’?)
✓ Overmighty:  Domineering, imperious, condescending, assertive. Prone to take advantage of power. (Oh, so like a Program Director?)
✓ Podsnappery:  An attitude toward life marked by complacency and a refusal to recognize unpleasant facts. (Should be the name of a political party…)
✓ Rizzle:  To relax and digest after consuming a large meal. (I think it can also be used to refer to the sounds your body makes while you do that…)
✓ Stravage:  To roam or wander aimlessly. (So, basically the “work experience” section of my CV…)
✓ Trice:  A brief space of time. (Used to measure the length of an “American Idol” winner’s career!)
(I’d challenge you to use all of these in a sentence, but someone actually WOULD!)

Energy drinks can cause hair loss in men, according to researchers from China. They found that those who swill down large quantities of energy drinks, as well as fizzy drinks, sports drinks, and even sweetened tea and coffee, are at greater risk of suffering from male pattern hair loss. In their study, those who consumed more than one sweetened drink per day were found to have a 42% greater risk of experiencing hair loss, compared to men who didn’t drink any of those beverages. So, is your energy drink the reason that you are losing your hair? Not for sure, but it might not be helping you. (Neither is the fact that in my family, you’re more likely to find hair in your food than on a man’s head!)


• “Hot Toddy Day”, saluting the traditional drink taken before retiring for the night, or in wet or cold weather. It’s typically a mixture of liquor and water with honey (or, in some recipes, sugar), herbs (such as tea) and spices, and served piping hot. Some believe it relieves the symptoms of cold and flu. (Or at least makes you forget them…)
• “Milk Day”, although I’d much rather have a hot toddy!
• “International Thank-You Day”, a chance to thank someone from your past who did something nice for you. (I’d like to take a moment to say thank you to those who have lent me money…I’ll never be able to repay you!)
• “Learn Your Name in Morse Code Day”, in case you want to embrace a technology that has pretty much disappeared. Dash-dot-dot-dot … dot-dot-dash … dot-dash-dot-dot …
• “Human Trafficking Awareness Day”, drawing attention to efforts to eradicate modern-day slavery around the world.
• “Cigarettes are Hazardous to Your Health Day”. Did we really need a day to tell us this?
• “Secret Pal Day”, almost everyone has special friend who they trust with their deepest secrets. Secret pals provide relief from our emotional baggage and mental stress. Because keeping secrets is detrimental to our health, a secret pal is therefore a preventive health measure.
• Step in a Puddle and Splash Your Friend Day”, Remember when you were a kid and would get yelled at every time you accidentally stepped in—or purposely jumped in—a puddle? Today, you have an excuse to do just that…and soak a friend at the same time. (But really…in January?)

[Thurs] Pharmacist Day
[Thurs] Stick To Your New Year’s Resolution Day
[Fri] Rubber Ducky Day
[Sat] Dress Up Your Pet Day
This Week is…Mocktail Week
This Month is…Get Organized & Be Productive (GO) Month

1934 [89] Jean Chrétien, Shawnigan QC, Canadian politician (20th Prime Minister of Canada 1993-2003)

1956 [67] Phyllis Logan, Paisley Scotland, TV actress (“Downton Abbey” 2010-15)/movie actress (“Downton Abbey” films, “Secrets & Lies”)

1968 [55] Tom Dumont, LA CA, rock guitarist (No Doubt-‘It’s My Life’, ‘Don’t Speak’)

1971 [52] Mary J. Blige, Bronx NY, R&B-pop singer (‘Family Affair’, ‘Be Without You’)

1971 [52] Tom Rowlands, Kingston upon Thames, England, electronica musician (The Chemical Brothers- ‘It Began in Afrika’, ‘Star Guitar’)/6 Grammys

1972 [51] Amanda Peet, NYC, movie actress (“Identity Thief”, “The Whole Nine Yards”)

1985 [38] Aja Naomi King, LA CA, TV actress (‘Michaela Pratt’ on “How to Get Away With Murder” 2014-20)

1997 [26] Cody Simpson, Gold Coast Australia, pop singer (‘Pretty Brown Eyes’, f/Flo Rida-‘iYiYi’)/winner of season 1 of “The Masked Singer Australia”

2010 [13] Simon Cowell leaves “American Idol” to launch “The X Factor” (US version) His replacement? Steven Tyler

2013 [10] Re/Create, a charity event to aid victims of 2012s Hurricane Sandy, holds a celebrity clothing auction featuring an autographed pair of Yeezy II sunglasses from Kanye West, a jacket Skrillex wore to the 2012 Grammys, and a Mugler bag donated by Lady Gaga

1992 [31] Nirvana’s “Nevermind” album hits #1 in the US, unseating Michael Jackson’s “Dangerous”

2013 [10] Destiny’s Child announce they will reunite at the 2013 Super Bowl, 7 years after their split

2016 [07] The day after David Bowie’s death, his music videos are viewed 51 million times, shattering the record of 36 million held by Adele after she released ‘Hello’. Most of the views are for Bowie’s new videos ‘Lazarus’ and ‘Blackstar’, which foretell his death

2020 [03] The giant 100-year-old tortoise ‘Diego’ retires to the Galapagos islands after his high libido is credited with saving his species


✓ The ancient Romans thought unibrows were sexy.
✓ A ten-gallon hat will only hold ¾ of a gallon.
✓ On average, a disposable diaper can hold up to 7 pounds (3.2kg) of liquid.
✓ You mostly breathe from only one nostril at a time.
✓ Drivers kill more deer than hunters.
✓ Gorillas burp when they are happy.
-Livin3, BathroomReadersInstitute

• Ask, “Excuse me, are you a really bad singer, or a really bad actor?”
• After he describes each special, you shout, “Sucks!”
• 4-hour lunch, 2-dollar tip.
• Whenever she walks by, cough and mutter, “Minimum wage.”
• Insist that before ordering, you be allowed to touch the London broil.
• Tie the tablecloth around your neck and say, “You wouldn’t charge ‘Superman’ for dinner, would you?”
• Every time you eat or drink, cough really hard.
• As he walks by to the kitchen, scream, “He’s gonna take a leak in the chowder!”
• Eat the check.
-First published in BS in 2017

• They come pre-toilet-trained.
• Bacon is an effective puppy repellent.
• Kids think they’re ugly.
• Puppies think about nothing but murder all day.
• There’s no significance to the fact that the word PUPPY has so much “P” in it…none at all.
• They do not hear you unless you raise your voice by 3 octaves and repeat everything you say 4 times.
• If yours sees its shadow, it means 6 more weeks of toilet training.
• They want nothing to do with chewing your shoes.
• It is a good idea to let the kids pick one out without first letting your spouse know.
• Puppies are 70% love, 50% poop, and 100% bad at math.
-Twitter, first published in BS in 2019

These took the internet by storm a few years ago. They’re tricky…
• A bat and a ball cost $1.10 in total. The bat costs $1.00 more than the ball. How much does the ball cost? (A: The ball would cost 5 cents)
• If it takes 5 machines 5 minutes to make 5 widgets, how long would it take 100 machines to make 100 widgets? (A: It would take 5 minutes to make 100 widgets)
• In a lake, there is a patch of lily pads. Every day, the patch doubles in size. If it takes 48 days for the patch to cover the entire lake, how long would it take for the patch to cover half of the lake? (A: It would take 47 days for the patch to cover half of the lake)
[The most commonly-answered responses: $.10 for question 1 (wrong), 100 minutes for question 2 (wrong), and 24 days for question 3 (also wrong).

The suspense is overwhelming (sound up):   https://tinyurl.com/usuaczcx

I don’t think I’ll ever feel content about anything. And I’m okay with that.

What is your worst restaurant horror story?

Question:  THIS runs on about 20 watts of power, the same as the lightbulb in your fridge. What is it?
Answer:  Your brain

Leap, and the net will appear.


Leave a comment