Wednesday, January 24, 2018 – Edition: #6142

Sheet Happens!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Nominations for the 90th Academy Awards were announced yesterday amid what’s proving to be an unpredictable and highly political awards season. The fantasy film “The Shape of Water” leads with 13 Academy Award nominations, including best picture.  The the other best picture nominees are “Lady Bird, “Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri,” “The Post,” “Get Out, “Dunkirk,” “Darkest Hour” “Call Me By Your Name” and “Phantom Thread.”
Best actor nominees are Gary Oldman for “Darkest Hour,” Timothée Chalamet, for “Call Me By Your Name,” Daniel Day-Lewis for “Phantom Thread,” Daniel Kaluuya for “Get Out ” and Denzel Washington for “Roman J. Israel, Esq.”
Best actress nominees are Frances McDormand for “Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri” Saoirse Ronan for “Lady Bird,” Sally Hawkins for “The Shape of Water,” Meryl Streep for “The Post” and Margot Robbie “I, Tonya.”
-CNN
★ James Franco was not nominated for an Oscar, and the possible reason is that 5 women have accused him of sexual misconduct. That could be a statement, as Franco won the Golden Globe and the Critics’ Choice Awards for Best Actor. The voting was only partially completed before the allegations surfaced.
-TMZ
★ Meantime, the Razzie nominations were announced earlier this week.  ‘The Mummy’, ‘Fifty Shades Darker’ and the latest Transformers movie, ‘The Last Knight’, are the leading contenders for Hollywood’s annual worst films list, the Golden Raspberry awards.  All three principal actors of the revival of the 1930s monster pic ‘The Mummy’ have been nominated: Tom Cruise for worst actor, and Russell Crowe and Sofia Boutella for worst supporting actor and actress. ‘The Mummy’ has seven nominations, including one for worst remake, ripoff or sequel.  ‘Transformers: The Last Knight’ has nine.  The other major contender is ‘Fifty Shades Darker’, with eight nominations, including worst actor and actress for Jamie Dornan and Dakota Johnson.
-TheGuardian
★  Megyn Kelly clapped back at Jane Fonda after the actress recently said she was “not that good an interviewer.” It started when Fonda went on ‘Megyn Kelly Today’, and appeared to take offense when Kelly asked about her having “work done.”  On Monday’s show, Kelly said that “The truth is most older women look nothing like Fonda, who is now 80. And if Fonda really wants to have an honest discussion about older women’s cultural face, then her plastic surgery is tough to ignore.  She knows this, and that is why, to her credit, she’s discussed her cosmetic surgery pretty much everywhere before coming on our show.”
-Yahoo
★ Steve-O has gotten engaged to girlfriend Lux Wright, and he says he planned the proposal for more than six months. Steve-O, who rose to prominence as one of the pranksters on MTV’s Jackass in the early 2000’s, popped the question on Saturday night and shared a selection of snaps on Instagram to announce the happy news.  He captioned the album: “Last night, in front of a bunch of my Jackass buddies, my closest friends, my dad, and my sister… she said “yes”.”
(It took him 6 months to arrange THAT?)
-DailyMail
★ Sean ‘Diddy’ Combs complained to Andy Cohen on ‘Watch What Happens Live’ Sunday that the Super Bowl 38 halftime performance he spent half a year perfecting…was largely forgotten. It was overshadowed by the history-making wardrobe malfunction Janet Jackson suffered during the same broadcast, leaving her breast exposed to the biggest TV audience of the year. Quote:  ‘Y’all don’t even know I performed at the Super Bowl! You know what I’m saying?’
-DailyMail

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Lisa Kudrow, Rich Eisen, Bahamas
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Ice-T, Meghan Trainor, the Avett Brothers
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Willem Dafoe, RuPaul, Roy Wood Jr.
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Jim Gaffigan, Van Jones, Josh Gondelman, Brann Dailor
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Bryan Cranston, Timothee Chalamet, BTS ( R )
• “Conan” (TBS/Comedy): DJ Khaled, Natasha Leggero, the Ghost of Paul Revere
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Belinda Carlisle, Sandra Bernhard
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Guest co-host La La Anthony
• “The Talk” (CBS): Rita Moreno, Justina Machado, Ellen K
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): James Corden, Eugene Levy
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Khloe Kardashian ( R )
• “The Amazing Race 30” (CBS): “Gotta Put Your Sole Into It”. The race continues in St. Tropez, France, and Provence, France.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Lorde – says she once indulged in ”20 different kinds of cereal” with her close pal Jack Antonoff after she told him she’d never tried many popular American brands. Out of all the cereals she sampled, she liked Reese’s Puffs the most.  (I hope she likes insulin too!)
• Hall and Oates and Train – will hit the road together this summer for a co-headlining tour of North America.  Each band will perform a set, before both join together for the finale. The first show is May 1 in Sacramento, CA
• Avril Lavigne – On Saturday, a Twitter fan account shared a conversation with Lavigne in which she confirmed her first album since 2013 is on the way, and said that it should be completed “by the end of February”.  Lavigne describes it as “next level.”
• Motley Crue – rapper Machine Gun Kelly has been cast to play drummer Tommy Lee in the upcoming Netflix biopic, ‘The Dirt’.  Kelly plans to learn to play drums by taking lessons from his little brother.  Douglas Booth will play Nikki Sixx, while Iwan Rheon and Daniel Webber will reportedly play Mick Mars and Vince Neil, respectively.
• Kid Rock – is free to once again call his tour “The Greatest Show on Earth” after a judge ruled in his favor in an ongoing lawsuit over the name.  That nullifies a preliminary injunction filed by Feld Entertainment, the owners of the Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus.
• Sting – is reportedly going to headline an NFL Super Bowl pre-game ‘tailgate’ concert somewhere offsite to the big game at U.S. Bank Stadium in Minneapolis.
• Rod Stewart – his wife Penny Lancaster says that he has been known to put dog poo under their daughter’s car seats if they don’t clean up after their dogs.  (Hopefully in a bag?)
• Neil Diamond – has announced that he is retiring from touring after being diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease.  He’s been forced to cut short his 50th anniversary tour, but says he’s still going to write, record and work on other projects “for a long time to come.”  In a statement, he thanked his fans, saying “This ride has been so good, so good, so good…”  He will receive the lifetime achievement award at Sunday’s Grammys.  (***see today’s celebirthdays***)
• Barenaked Ladies – will reunite with former singer Stephen Page after 10 years for their induction into the Canadian Music Hall of Fame at this year’s Junos March 25.  No decision yet on whether he will perform with them.
• Thomas Rhett – says that if he could give one piece of advice to his younger self, “I would just tell myself not to worry as much.  It’s so easy…to just think that every little moment is going to be your downfall, whether you cut the wrong song, or a song didn’t go top 10…I think I would go back and tell myself like, ‘Dude, just chill out and enjoy yourself rather than just always worrying about what’s to come.”
• Miranda Lambert – found a creative way to update her lyrics. She sings about living in Oklahoma in her 2015 hit “Little Red Wagon.” But because she moved out of the home state of her ex-husband Blake Shelton, she changed the words “I live in Oklahoma” to “I got the hell out of Oklahoma” when singing the song  on the opening night of her “Livin’ Like Hippies” tour.

YOU’RE ONLY IMMATURE ONCE:
Maybe Peter Pan had the right idea.  Science is telling us that when we hit the legal age of adulthood, we’ve still got quite a way to go.  In fact, we’re not really adults until we reach the  age of 24, according to researchers.  Why? While the definition for adolescence is currently between ages 10 and 19, which marks the beginning of puberty and the perceived end of biological growth, scientists at the Royal Children’s Hospital in Australia argue the timing needs to be changed.  They point to the fact that the brain continues to mature beyond the age of 20, and many people’s wisdom teeth do not come through until the age of 25.  Plus, today, the average couple marries for the first time when the groom is 32.5 years old and the bride is 30.6. That’s eight years later than it was in the 1970s.  The study’s lead author, Prof. Susan Sawyer, says that policies that support youth should be extended beyond teenage years.
(Great.  Now millennials are going to want a trophy when they reach 24, for ‘adulting’.)
(When I was 19, I wasn’t even THINKING of acting like an adult.  In fact, I wasn’t even thinking!)
(So are we supposed to start a baseball ‘little league’ for the 19-23 year-olds?)
-NYTimes, Telegraph

BINGE SEARCHING:
If you have ever plopped yourself onto the couch after dinner, all set for a great night of ‘Netflix and chill’ without the ‘chill’, then you know how infuriating the Netflix search function can be.  Sometimes, an hour later, I’m still rifling through suggested searches like ‘movies with barroom fights, aliens, sports, blondes but the puppy never gets hurt’, which is, of course, based on my viewing history.   Well, finally a man, no, a hero, named Ville Salminen has created a new website called ‘Flixable’ that FINALLY has made searching Netflix for something to watch a somewhat fruitful experience. With Flixable, you can finally see a list of upcoming releases, see which titles are leaving Netflix shortly, and see which content is most popular today, this week or this month.  You can also view JUST the titles that are Netflix Originals, search for a specific title and actually find out if it is on Netflix or not, plus you can see the IMDb ratings of the shows and movies.  Hallelujah!
(If this guy can do something about buffering, I believe he’ll be up for sainthood!)
(I hate when I run out of chips and I haven’t even found something to watch yet!)
(Ever notice they have every movie…except the ones you want to watch?)
(***See “BS NETFLIX AND CHILL FOR MARRIED PEOPLE”, below***)
-Brobible

THE BEST TIMES TO BUY STUFF ON SALE:
• January:  clothing (especially winter clothes), carpeting, indoor furniture, men’s suits, fitness equipment (great…now even the store is telling me I should start working out!)
• February:  TVs, home theatres, humidifiers (because I bought one in the fall…)
• March:  boxed chocolate, luggage (here, honey, some Valentines’ leftovers for you…)
• April:  travel (especially cruises), sneakers
• May:  appliances, office furniture, mattresses, gardening tools
• June:  tools, flatware and dishes, gym memberships
• July: home decor and furniture
• August: kid’s clothing, summer clothes, school supplies, swimsuits (Like I’ve bought a swimsuit in the last 20 years…)
• September:  bikes, lawn mowers, patio furniture, big appliances, air conditioners
• October:  clothing and school supplies (again), gas BBQs, winter clothing — before it gets pricier in November
• November:  Halloween costumes, candy and decorations, electronics
• December: toys, Christmas decorations, trees, cards and wrapping paper — these all dip in price on Dec. 24 (Go ahead, wait until then…I DARE you!)
(So now you don’t have an excuse not to be broke ALL YEAR LONG!)
-Global

BS CHRONOMETER 01.24.18

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1941 [77] Neil Diamond, NYC, oldies singer (‘Sweet Caroline’, ‘Song Sung Blue’)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (2011)

1963 [55] Keech Rainwater, Plano TX, country musician (Lonestar-‘Mr Mom’, ‘Amazed’)

1968 [50] Mary Lou Retton, Fairmont WV, gymnast (the first American woman to ever win the all-around gold medal at the 1984 Olympics in Los Angeles)

1974 [44] Ed Helms, Atlanta GA, movie actor (“The Hangover” movies, “Vacation”)/TV actor (“The Office” 2006-13, “The Daily Show” 2002-09)

1978 [40] Kristen Schaal, Longmont CO, TV actress (“Last Man on Earth” since 2015, “Bob’s Burgers” since 2011)

1984 [34] Justin Baldoni, LA CA, TV actor (‘Rafael Solano’ on “Jane the Virgin” since 2014)

1986 [32] Mischa Barton, London UK, movie actress (“St Trinian’s”, “The Sixth Sense”)/TV actress (“The OC” 2003-06)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Beer Can Appreciation Day”, observed on the anniversary of the 1st canned beer, marketed by Krueger Brewing of Richmond, Virginia on this day 83 years ago in 1935. (Gee, what should we do to celebrate?)
• “Compliment Day”, when we’re encouraged to say something nice to at least 5 people. (Who will in turn ask, “OK, what is it that you want?”)
• “Global Belly Laugh Day”, a day to experience the health & happiness benefits of taking a moment to laugh out loud. To that end, we’re all encouraged to throw our arms in the air and laugh heartily at precisely 1:24 pm local time.
• “Peanut Butter Day”, originally called ‘nutmeal’, peanut butter has only been around for about 120 years but it’s a staple in 85% of homes and we eat about 3 lbs per person per year.
• “Talk Like a Grizzled Prospector Day”, a tongue-in-cheek salute to the beginning of the 1848 gold rush in California. (“Well, consarn it! A whole ‘nuther year’s done skedaddled right past an’ we’re celerbating this agin!”)
• “Phone Recycling Day”, an international effort by the Jane Goodall Institute to inspire environmental action around recycling mobile phones and other used electronics worldwide.
NET: http://www.mobilerecyclingday.org

COMING UP . . .
[Thurs] Irish Coffee Day
[Thurs] Opposite Day
[Fri] Fun at Work Day
[Fri] Peanut Brittle Day

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2006 [12] Walt Disney Co announces the $7.4-billion purchase of Pixar Studios (making the late Steve Jobs one extremely wealthy guy)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1998 [20] The “Titanic” soundtrack goes to #1 in America, replacing Celine Dion’s “Let’s Talk About Love”.  Both albums contain the hit song from the movie, ‘My Heart Will Go On’.

2015 [03] INXS guitarist Tim Farriss severs the ring finger on his left hand while operating a winch on his boat, but doctors manage to reattach the digit after 2 surgeries

2016 [02] David Bowie’s 25th and final studio album “Blackstar” hits #1 in both the UK and North America 2 weeks after his death

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1984 [34] Apple Computer Inc unveils its revolutionary Macintosh personal computer.  It boasted a 9-inch black-and-white display, two serial ports, 128KB RAM, and a slot for one 3.5-inch floppy disc.  List price: US $2495.00

2013 [05] European Bioinformatics Institute announces its scientists have successfully stored audio and text on fragments of DNA and retrieved them with 99.99% accuracy, the 1st time DNA has been used for data storage (can they implant a new language in your brain?)

BULL’S BITS

BS WACK FACTS:
✓ If you started with $0.01 and doubled your money every day, it would take 27 days to become a millionaire.
✓ Baby robins eat 14 feet of earthworms every day.
✓ The biggest tapeworm found inside a human body was 35 meters long.
✓ Dogs are capable of understanding up to 250 words and gestures, and have demonstrated the ability to do simple mathematical calculations.
✓ Due to breathing, your ribs move about five million times a year.
✓ Since 1945, all British tanks come with tea making equipment.
-All-That-is-Interesting

BS NETFLIX AND CHILL FOR MARRIED PEOPLE:
• Apple and text each other from different rooms
• Google and diagnose each other
• MasterCard and vacation
• Dollar Store and post-vacation
• Bed Bath & Beyond and argue
• Home Depot and argue
• IKEA and nuclear-level argue
• Soul Cycle and jointly experience what death might be like
• Dodge Charger and midlife crisis
• Walmart and wonder how this became your life
• Disney and birth control
• Netflix and literally chill
-McSweeneys

BS RANDOM JOKE:
I always read my wife’s horoscope to see what kind of day I’m going to have.

BS PHONE STARTER:
☎ What’s the absolute weirdest herbal or natural cure you’ve ever tried? Did it work?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question:  Half of workers polled said they think THIS is never okay to do in the workplace, what is it?
Answer:  Take your shoes off

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help.