January 28, 2009

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Wednesday, January 28, 2009       Edition: #3947
Good Morning, Sheetheads!

ABC-TV leads nominees (3rd year-in-a-row) for the 20th annual “GLAAD Media Awards”,  recognizing fair and inclusive portrayals of the gay, lesbian, bisexual & transgender community (“Brothers & Sisters,” “Desperate Housewives”, and “Ugly Betty” are among nominees) . . . The upcoming Wii boxing game, “Ready 2 Rumble Revolution”, will feature animated representations of celebrities wailing away at one another in the ring (they’re given nicknames but the characters are dead ringers for the likes of Brad Pitt, David Beckham, David Hasselhoff, John Travolta, Simon Cowell, and Sylvester Stallone) . . . Oscar-nominated Mickey Rourke of “The Wrestler” isn’t ready to hang up the tights just yet, instead talking to WWE boss Vince McMahon and legendary grappler Rowdy Roddy Piper about joining this year’s “Wrestlemania” event (dude, that’s even too cheesy for you!) . . . Donny Osmond has let it slip that he’s about to step into sister Marie’s shoes, competing in the next season of ABC-TV’s “Dancing With the Stars” (the really good news is, K-Fed won’t be participating) . . . Movie star Meryl Streep is the latest celeb to agree to a cameo on “30 Rock”, accepting an invite from Alex Baldwin after the weekend “SAG Awards” (TV’s most over-rated show?) . . . TV actress Mariska Hargitay has kept her promise and returned to the set of “Law & Order: SVU” (NBC) just 2 weeks after suffering a collapsed lung (an experience that was totally deflating) . . . And a 27-year-old stage manager on Brooke Shield’s TV series “Lipstick Jungle” (NBC) has been charged with stealing some $30,000-worth of designer duds from the set, including an Oscar de la Renta snakeskin bag, Gucci coats, and designs by French fashion house Sylvia Toledano, then cleverly (duh!) attempting to sell the loot on eBay (makes the bathroom tissue [co-host] steals from the station seem like small potatoes).

• “50th Anniversary Of the Winter Dance Party” – The Surf Ballroom in Clear Lake, the Iowa venue where rock pioneers Buddy Holly, the Big Bopper & Ritchie Valens performed their final show, commemorates the event through Monday, the anniversary of the 1959 plane crash that took their lives and was later dubbed ‘the day the music died’ in Don McLean’s ‘72 hit “American Pie”. The Rock & Roll Hall of Fame is designating the site an ‘official rock ‘n roll landmark’.
NET: http://www.50winterslater.com
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Grammy-nominated rock band Disturbed (“Inside The Fire”) performs.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Katy Perry (“Thinking Of You”) is a guest.
• “Late Night With Conan O’Brien” (NBC/A Channel) – Indie rockers Cold War Kids (“Something is Not Right With Me”) are on.


• Fergie – She & new hubby Josh Duhamel are back in LA after honeymooning on the Indian Ocean resort islands, the Maldives. They stayed in a private villa atop a lagoon at the exclusive One & Only Reethi Rah resort, where nightly rates can top $6,000.
• Kanye West – The habitual ‘caps on’ blogger has announced he wants to be addressed as ‘Martin Louis The King Jr’. Blogging from a hotel room in Paris, he says the new name came to him when he saw the shoes he designed for Louis Vuitton hit the runway last week.
• Madonna – She & NY Yankee star A-Rod (Alex Rodriguez) are apparently together again. The pair reportedly shacked up recently at Jerry Seinfeld’s place on Long Island NY.
• Michael Jackson – A stage musical based on his “Thriller” video has been announced. “Thriller The Musical” will include songs from the 1982 “Thriller” album & his 1979 album “Off The Wall”. (If things run true to form, this is likely another project that will never get done.)
• Usher – His wife Tameka Foster has turned down the chance to appear in the 2nd season of reality TV show “Real Housewives Of Atlanta”. (When it comes to money, they need her more than she needs them.)
• Velvet Revolver – Guitarist Slash is the latest rocker to be immortalized as an action figure with the release of ‘Slash: 10-inch Guitar Hero 2009′. (Now that’s just bragging.)
NET: http://www.spawn.com/toys/product.aspx?product=3860

New terms leaking into the lingo …
• ‘Fast-Food Zoning’ – Zoning laws designed to keep fast-food restaurants in specific areas, outside of neighborhoods. (“We don’t want Chicken Chunks in our backyard so we’re lobbying against fast-food zoning.”)
• ‘Lactation Room’ – A room provided by an employer where new mothers can pump breast milk. (“Ever since they closed down the smoking room at the office, people have been hiding out in the Lactation Room.”)
• ‘Yarn Bombs’ – An artistic piece created to decorate ‘street furniture’, such as lamp posts, benches, statues or bicycle stands. The colorful crocheted covers are sewn on, then often photographed for online exhibition.
NET: http://www.flickr.com/search/?q=yarn+bomb

A Japanese company has created a DVD designed to help shy guys get comfortable making eye contact with women by letting them practice on their computer screens. The disc is called ‘Miterudake’ (‘just looking’) and features 50 women of all ages and types simply staring at the screen awaiting eye contact. Creator Yosuke Ito admits he’s not sure you can overcome shyness with his DVD but he hopes it helps. Try out some ‘stare-apy’ here …
NET: http://tinyurl.com/a9nvrk
– “Wired”

The latest ranking of top-earning celebrity stiffs, based on total income over the past year …
5. Producer Aaron Spelling ($15 million).
4. Physicist Albert Einstein ($18 million).
3. Oscar-nominated actor Heath Ledger ($20 million).
2. Cartoonist Charles Schulz ($33 million).
1. Singer Elvis Presley ($52 million).
Late movie star Paul Newman also joins the list this year with circa $5 million. (Seems it’s still a bull market in the boneyard!)
– Forbes.com

2009’s first expedition to find the elusive ‘Yeti’ began a couple of weeks back as an international team of mountain climbers, explorers, and crypto-zoologists were dropped by helicopter in Nepal’s Himalayan mountains. The crew is shooting a film about the hunt in an area about 9,000 feet up the mountains where a Japanese mountain climber snapped pictures of what might be the Bigfoot’s footprints last October. (Wasn’t that when Shaquille O’Neal visited?)
– “Curious Times”


• “Bad Boy, Hot Sex! Should You Keep Him?”
• “He Was My Friend … And Then I Slept With Him!”
• “Jerk Alert! Men to Avoid at All Costs!”
• “Is He a Wimp Because He Primps?”
• “Whatever Happened to Mr Exciting?”
• “Can You Really Tell a Man By His Shoes?”
– BS original

A sex researcher in Italy has discovered that testosterone levels in men & women tend to equal out when they fall in love. Donatella Marazziti, a scientist at the University of Pisa, found that as couples fall in love, men’s testosterone levels begin to decrease while love-struck women get an extra surge of the hormone. But alas, lustful love doesn’t last very long. A follow up study carried out 2 years later found that in all the subjects testosterone levels were back to normal. (It’s the same effect as taking off your ‘Beer Goggles’.)
– NewsMedical.net


Filmmaker Ridley Scott (“American Gangster”) directed the ad for Apple’s first Mac computer in 1984.
– BBC News

“It’s great for me because she’s my old roommate and we’re friends. And that bugs Simon, so it’s good for me.”
– Paula Abdul when asked by “Us Magazine” if “American Idol” is better off now that songwriter Kara DioGuardi has been added to the judges’ ranks.


1936 [73] Alan Alda (Alphonso D’Abruzzo), NYC, TV actor (“West Wing” 2004-06, “M*A*S*H” 1972-83)/movie actor (“The Aviator”, “The Four Seasons”)

1968 [41] Sarah McLachlan, Halifax NS, pop singer (“U Want Me 2”, “Angel”)

1969 [40] Kathryn Morris, Cincinnati OH, TV actress (‘Lilly Rush’ on “Cold Case” since 2003)

1973 [36] Brandon Bush, Atlanta GA, pop musician (Train-“Calling All Angels”, “Drops of Jupiter [Tell Me]”)

1977 [32] Joey Fatone, Brooklyn NY, TV personality (“Dancing With the Stars” 2007, “The Singing Bee” 2007)/former pop singer (*NSYNC-“Pop”)/movie actor (“My Big Fat Greek Wedding”)

1976 [33] Rick Ross (William Roberts), Coahoma County MS, rapper (“Trilla”, “Port of Miami”)

1980 [29] Nick Carter, Jamestown NY, pop singer (Backstreet Boys-“As Long As You Love Me”)/reality show personality (“House of Carters” with singer-brother Aaron Carter)/one-time Paris Hilton boy-toy

1981 [28] Elijah Wood, Cedar Rapids IA, bug-eyed movie actor (“Sin City”, “The Lord Of the Rings” trilogy)

• “International Make Your Point Day.” So what is the gist of what you’re trying to say, anyway?

• “Up-Helly-Aa”, the annual staging of an ancient Norse tradition in Lerwick, in Scotland’s Shetland Islands, when a fiery ship is sent out to sea as a sacrifice to the Sun.


1985 [24] 45 top recording artists attend an all-night recording session in LA to produce the charity record “We Are the World” in aid of African famine relief (among those participating:  Lionel Richie, Michael Jackson, Cyndi Lauper, Sting, Diana Ross, Paul Simon & many others)

1934 [75] 1st ‘Rope Tow’ for skiing opens in Woodstock VT (before that, a helluva lot of uphill walking!)

1999 [10] 1st ‘Live Sex Change Operation’ performed on the Internet (hmm, was it a download or an upload?)

1984 [25] Glynn Wolfe weds for a non-bigamous record 26th time (Las Vegas NV)


[Thurs] Kazoo Day
[Thurs] Corn Chip Day
[Fri] 36th Annie Awards (LA)
[Fri] Bubble Wrap Appreciation Day
[Fri] “New in Town”; “Taken”; “The Uninvited” open in movie theaters
[Fri] 55th Carnaval de Québec begins (Québec City)
[Sat] 61st Directors Guild of America Awards (LA)
This Week Is … Cross Country Skiing Week
This Month Is … Thyroid Awareness Month


Today is the birthday of ‘Ernie’ from “Sesame Street”, according to past celebrations on the kids’ show. He debuted in 1969. But here’s a sampling of Muppet characters that never got off the drawing board …
• ‘Spitty the Camel’
• ‘Mr Shingles’
• ‘Joseph Gerbils’
• ‘Foamy the Rabid Puma’
• ‘Theodora the Old-Time Saloon Whore’
• ‘Wylie Von Footfetish‘
• ‘Big Disease-Carrying Bird’
– Thanks to Scott Shemo

This is the [show] … appreciate me now and avoid the rush!

• In 1991 the halftime show was not shown live. Instead, coverage of ‘Operation Desert Storm’ was broadcast. Which musical act was pre-empted?
a. Gloria Estefan.
b. Michael Jackson.
c. Tiffany.
d. New Kids On the Block. [CORRECT]

• Who is the oldest coach ever to win a Super Bowl?
a. Dick Vermeil. [CORRECT. He was 63 when he led the St Louis Rams to victory in 1999.]
b. Tom Landry.
c. Don Shula.
d. Marv Levy.

• Which team that has won a Super Bowl is in the longest drought since their last win?
a. Chiefs.
b. Jets. [CORRECT. Since 1969.]
c. Dolphins.
d. Raiders.

• There is only one 3-time Super Bowl MVP. Who is it?
a. Tom Brady.
b. Terry Bradshaw.
c. Bart Starr.
d. Joe Montana. [CORRECT. 1981, 1984, 1989.]
– docsports.com

NBC-TV’s “Super Bowl XLIII Pre-Game Show” starts at 1 pm EST; the game isn’t until after 6 pm EST. So how are they going to fill 5-plus hours? Well …
• A fun hour of time-lapse photography showing Bob Costas’ many facelifts over the years.
• ‘Game Day Breakfast’ with John Madden, as the hefty commentator shares his thoughts while mowing down on a side of bacon, 3 loves of toast, 2 smoked hams, a dozen raw eggs, and a pail of gravy.
• The ‘Skinny Contest’ with studio analyst Cris Collinsworth’s neck vs a pencil.
• 62,542 commercials, out-numbered only by promos for the lame Monday night 3-D broadcast of “Chuck”.
• Interviews with fans in Raymond James Stadium … all of them.
– BS original


Today’s Question: 75% of everyone that buys THESE makes over $50,000 per year.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Breast implants. (They’re not covered by insurance and they start at around $4,000.)

Respect must be earned, not commanded.

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