January 28, 2016

Print Friendly, PDF & Email
Thursday, January 28, 2016       Edition: #5619

Tomorrow’s Show Prep Today!

★ Today Kerry Washington Is Harvard University’s ‘Hasty Pudding Woman Of the Year’. The “Scandal” star has been invited to lead Hasty Pudding Theatricals’ annual parade in Cambridge MA and take part in the troupe’s typically wacky ‘roast’ as its 2016 honoree. The male honoree is Emmy-winning actor, director, and producer Joseph Gordon-Levitt, who will be feted Friday, February 5th. The ‘Man’ and ‘Woman Of the Year Awards’ are presented to performers who have made lasting and impressive contributions to the world of entertainment. The ‘Man Of the Year’ award was established in 1963.
– Reuters.com
★ The British Board of Film Classification describes Charlie Lyne’s “Paint Drying” as ‘a film showing paint drying on a wall, which should be suitable for audiences 4 and over’. Any film aiming for a UK release has to be reviewed by the BBFC, which costs a fee plus about $10 for each minute the film runs. Since Lyne knew examiners would have to watch an entire flick to review it, he started a Kickstarter with the goal of creating the longest and most boring movie possible. The cost of classification of this movie: $6,000+. Money well spent, says Lyne, who made the 10-hour film with the sole intention of … sticking it to the man.
– Sky News
★ Eat bread. Lose weight. Earn $12 million. OK, so you have to be Oprah to do it. That woman is a money-making machine! Winfrey has managed to rake in over $12 mill just by tweeting about eating bread while on a diet. She has elaborated in an associated video that she’s managed to lose a massive 26 lbs since adding bread to her Weight Watchers diet, a company of which she owns 10% of all shares. After that announcement, Market Watch has reported that shares for Weight Watchers International have gone up 20% … a big boost to Oprah’s holdings.
– ContactMusic.com

• “American Idol” (FOX) – Hollywood Week continues as more vocalists perform for the judges.
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Ty Dolla $ign (“Beach House”).
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Troye Sivan (“Blue Neighbourhood”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Tory Lanez (“Say It”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Houndmouth (“Little Neon Limelight”). Rerun.
• “Late Late Show With James Corden” (CBS/M3) – One Direction (“Made In the AM”). Rerun.
• “Late Show With Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global) – Aubrie Sellers (“New City Blues”).
• “The Real” (syndicated) – Motown legend Smokey Robinson.
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Billy Joel (“She’s Got a Way: Love Songs”). Rerun.

• AC/DC – Local officials in Kirrimuir, Scotland have agreed to honor hometown hero Bon Scott with a statue after fans succeeded in raising $69,000 in funding. The memorial to the late frontman will stand in Bellies Brae car park and will be unveiled in April. The singer died in 1980.
• Kanye West – He’s changed the title of his upcoming album (again). No longer known as “Swish”, it’s now “Waves” (from a track on the album). He’s set to premiere his much-anticipated album during his ‘Yeezy Season 3’ clothing collection presentation at New York Fashion Week next month.
• Kip Moore – The 2nd leg of his “Wild Ones Tour” takes in stops across the US and Canada. It kicks off tonight in Milwaukee WI with special guests The Cadillac Three and Chase Bryant joining in on select dates.
• Macklemore & Ryan Lewis – Macklemore has responded to the backlash over his apparent attacks on Miley Cyrus and Iggy Azalea in the lyrics of the new single “White Privilege II”. The track isn’t supposed to be a personal attack, but rather a rail against racism and pop stars who co-opt African-American culture … like Macklemore himself.
• Selena Gomez – She recorded her vocals for Charlie Puth’s “We Don’t Talk Anymore” in the singer/songwriter’s hotel closet. Puth reveals he was putting the finishing touches to the song on tour in Japan when he thought about asking Selena to join him on the recording. As he didn’t have a studio set up, she recorded it in the most soundproof space at hand.
• Shakira – Her World Cup anthem “Waka Waka (This Time For Africa)” has hit 1 billion views on YouTube. The official 2010 FIFA World Cup theme has helped her become only the 3rd Latin artist to achieve the benchmark.
• Vampire Weekend – Co-founder Rostam Batmanglij has quit the band that he helped form in 2006. He assures fans, however, that he’ll continue to work with lead singer-guitarist Ezra Koenig on new music for the group. Meanwhile, the 32-year-old has recently released his new solo single, “EOS”.

A BS selection of movies in the making …
• “La Barbie” – Producers of a new movie about Mexican-American drug lord Edgar Valdez Villarreal are really adding to Hollywood’s diversity issue by casting lily white Brit actor Charlie Hunnam in the lead role. The former “Sons of Anarchy” star will portray Villarreal in the film about the life and arrest of the first American to join the ranks of the Mexican cartel.
• “Little House On the Prairie” – A film adaptation of the classic TV series is in development. The iconic Western drama was initially in the works at Sony Pictures in 2012 but came to a halt last year. Now Paramount Pictures has picked up the project. The TV series, loosely based on author Laura Ingalls Wilder’s classic children’s book series, aired from 1974 to 1983.
• Michael Jackson bio-film – Brit actor Joseph Fiennes (“Shakespeare in Love”) has been cast as Michael Jackson (?!?!) in one of the most bizarre-sounding TV movies of all-time. Fiennes will play the King of Pop in a one-off film UK’s Sky Arts channel which dramatizes a road trip he allegedly took alongside Elizabeth Taylor and Marlon Brando following 9/11.The drama also stars Stockard Channing as Taylor and Brian Cox as Brando.
• “Top Gun 2” – Filmmaker Jerry Bruckheimer and movie star Tom Cruise have teamed up for a strategy session about developing a sequel to the hit film. One of Cruise’s most famous roles is his portrayal of pilot ‘Maverick’ in the original 1986 movie. The story centers on a group of elite aviators who are all vying to be at the top of their class at a US Navy flight training school.

It’s seemingly simple supply and demand that has led us to this point: We now live in a world where a 10-pound salmon is worth more than a barrel of crude oil, a Norwegian seafood industry site reports. The collapse in the cost of crude in conjunction with non-ample salmon supplies from Norway, have led to the odd switch in commodity coveting. To illustrate, “Alaska Dispatch News” points out that a 10-pound Winter King Salmon would currently go for about $7.34 a pound, or $73 per fish; while a barrel of crude oil is running about $30. (Good thing cars don’t run on fish.)
– Blomberg News

✓ Engage the parking brake first, then shift into Park. If you do it the other way around and you are parked on an incline, the entire weight of the car is resting against the transmission.
✓ If you have lower back pain from standing too long then squeezing your butt muscles can make it go away. It rotates your pelvis out of the painful position and flattens your back.
✓ This short phrase will automatically improve your posture: “Shoulders down, shoulders back, chin level.”
✓ Buying your own modem is usually cheaper than renting one from your ISP.
✓ If you want to keep your dress shirt from billowing at the waist you need something called the ‘Military Tuck’. You’ll have to Google it, but it’s almost as good as having your shirt tailored.
✓ Post it! notes are great for removing crumbs from between the keys on your keyboard.
✓ If you change your mind and return a food item to the wrong spot while shopping, it will likely be trashed. Even if it looks OK, employees are usually required to dispose of it to prevent potential contamination.
✓ Onions, garlic, and lilies can all cause kidney failure and death for your pet cat.
✓ Never opt for the ‘recommended setup’ when installing software from the Internet. It’s just a ruse to install toolbars and other annoying things on the side.
✓ If you ever witness a robbery, look at the shoes. Robbers usually change their shirts, pants, hats, etc. The shoes, however, tend to stay the same.
– Adapted from List25.com

• Crule – A verb meaning to shiver with cold, or to crouch by a fire to warm up.
• Ice-legs – Like sea-legs at sea, the ability to walk safely on ice without falling over.
• Meggle – An old Scots word meaning ‘to trudge laboriously through mud or snow’.
• Hogamadog – A snowball that gets bigger and bigger when rolled through a field of snow.
• Snow-bones – The leftover lines of snow at the sides of roads after the rest has melted.
• Moble – To moble is to wrap up your head with a hood.
• Mufflements – An old Lancashire dialect word for thick, warm, insulating clothes.
• Aquabobs – An 18th century word for icicles. Also known as ice-candles.
• Snow-blossom – An old word for a single snowflake.
• Clart – A single snowflake large enough to stick to your clothes.
– Condensed from MentalFloss.com

• Romania had a larger army than the US before World War II.
– “The Economist”
• The US military sent rare blond goats to Afghanistan to try to boost the cashmere industry.
– HuffingtonPost.com


1968 [48] Sarah McLachlan, Halifax NS, pop singer (“Sweet Surrender”, “Adia”)

1977 [39] Rick Ross (William Roberts II), Coahoma County MS, rapper (f/Drake & Chrisette Michele-“Aston Martin Music”, f/T-Pain-“The Boss”)

1977 [39] Joey Fatone, Brooklyn NY, TV personality (“Family Feud” 2010, “Dancing With the Stars” 2007, “The Singing Bee” 2007)/former pop singer (*NSYNC-“Pop”)

1980 [36] Nick Carter, Jamestown NY, pop singer (Backstreet Boys-“As Long As You Love Me”)

1981 [35] Elijah Wood, Cedar Rapids IA, bug-eyed movie actor (“The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey”, “The Lord Of the Rings” trilogy)

1985 [31] J (Jermaine) Cole, Frankfurt, Germany, rapper (“Nobody’s Perfect”, “Work Out”)

1998 [18] Ariel Winter, Los Angeles CA, TV actress (‘Alex Dunphy’ on “Modern Family” since 2009)

• “Blueberry Pancake Day”, because they’re nutritious enough to eat for breakfast, tasty enough for a mid-day snack, and easy enough to make for dinner.
NET: http://www.punchbowl.com/holidays/national-blueberry-pancake-day

• “Data Privacy Day”, to raise awareness about the importance of protecting the privacy of personal info online. It’s observed in Canada, the USA, and 27 European countries.
NET: http://tinyurl.com/zogpja5

• “International Make Your Point Day.” So what is the gist of what you’re trying to say, anyway?

• Kazoo Day”, the 4th Thursday in January or whenever convenient to the kazooist. It honors the (annoying) musical instrument that even the most untalented can play.
NET: http://www.kazoos.com/nationalkazooday.htm

• “Québec Winter Carnival” cranks up through February 14th in Québec City, when thousands party down with ‘Bonhomme’ while wearing the traditional ‘ceinture fléchée’ (red sash as a belt).
NET: http://www.carnaval.qc.ca/webzine/eng/index.asp

2006 [10] Clint Eastwood becomes the 31st filmmaker in 70 years of Directors Guild of America (DGA) history to be given the organization’s ‘Lifetime Achievement Award’

2001 [15] Shaggy begins a 2-week run at #1 with the hit single “It Wasn’t Me”

2015 [01] Funk legend Sylvester Stone (Sly & The Family Stone) is awarded $5 million in missed royalties by an LA court after he alleges his former manager and lawyer cheated him out of earnings dating back over 20 years

1999 [17] 1st ‘Live Sex Change Operation’ is performed online (download or upload?)

1984 [32] Glynn Wolfe weds for a non-bigamous record 26th time (Las Vegas NV)

[Fri] Curmudgeons Day
[Fri] Pre-School Fitness Day
[Fri] Puzzle Day
[Fri] Seeing Eye Dog Day
[Sat] “SAG Awards” (TBS/TNT)
[Sat] Seed Swap Day
[Sun] “Grease: Live” (FOX)
This Week Is … Catholic Schools Week
This Month Is … Bath Safety Month


✗ The phrase ‘You Only Live Once’. Because ever since super cool teenagers abbreviated it and started “YOLO-ing” everything … it just isn’t cool anymore.
✗ Dads being able to take their kids to the playground. Because that’s what pedophiles do. It’s your kid? That’s not what all those moms on the other bench think.
✗ Crossfit. Because everyone assumes you’re in some kind of cult thanks to the maniacs who won’t ever stop talking about Crossfit.
✗ Being a vegetarian. For the same reason as Crossfit. As they say, how do you know when someone is vegetarian? They’ll tell you!
✗ Fanny packs. These things could legitimately have been useful but these days you might as well go running down the street yelling “I’m a naive and stereotypical American tourist!”
✗ Skinhead style. What used to be a popular style in England during the ’60s has been basically taken over by neo-Nazis.
✗ Comb-overs. Why? Donald Trump.
✗ Single-color bandanas. Because you never know what gang you’re going to be associated with.
– Thanks to Sameen Imtiaz

☎ If you were the opposite gender for one day, what would you do?

• There have been 727 references to which singer-songwriter in scientific papers published since the 1970s?
a. Joni Mitchell.
b. Bob Dylan. [CORRECT]
c.  Al Yankovic.
– “The Times of London”

• Which of the following is a unique game that US fighter pilots play in their spare time?
a. Crud. [CORRECT. It’s an odd mash-up of pool and rugby.]
b. Splashdown.
c. Top Gun.
– “New York Times”

When I wake up in the morning, I just can’t get started until I’ve had that first, piping hot pot of coffee. Oh, I’ve tried other enemas …

Question: A new poll finds the average parent spends over $400 per child each year on THIS.
Answer: Birthdays.

There’s still no cure for the common birthday.

Leave a comment