January 3 2018

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Wednesday, January 3, 2018 – Edition: #6027

Good Morning, Sheetheads!

★ Maria Menounos has married her long-term partner in a surprise ceremony. The veteran TV personality and cancer survivor exchanged vows with her longtime love Keven Undergaro in a ceremony which was officiated by Steve Harvey and broadcast on the Fox New Year’s Eve special that Menounos and Harvey co-hosted in New York City’s Times Square.
★ Jessica Alba has announced the birth of her third child. And with the name Hayes Alba Warren, her son’s name fits perfectly alongside big sisters Haven and Honor. Alba shared a picture of the newborn to social media and wrote: “12/31/17 Best gift to ring in the New Year!! Cash and I feel so blessed.”  Alba and Cash Warren have been married since 2008.
★ Mike Tyson is starting the New Year with green on his mind.  He’s leading the charge on a cannabis resort that aims at not only producing high quality strains of THC and CBD, but also to implement cutting-edge technology to advance research on the health benefits of marijuana. Tyson is a longtime believer in the healing properties of marijuana.  CBD is a cannabis compound with no psychoactive properties.
★ The women of Hollywood are kicking off 2018 with a plan to fight back against the sexual harassment not only in their industry but across the workforce.  After 2017’s onslaught of sexual harassment allegations, the #MeToo movement made headlines.  And on Monday, ‘Time’s Up’ was announced.  Time’s Up is described on its website as a “unified call for change from women in entertainment for women everywhere”.  The organization plans to partner with advocates for equality and safety and work to improve laws, employment agreements, and corporate policies.
★ Hoda Kotb is ‘Today’s’ new co-anchor.  Kotb made her official debut yesterday morning.  She will join Savannah Guthrie at the desk during the first two hours, and will continue to co-host the fourth hour alongside Kathie Lee Gifford.  Guthrie, who was named an anchor after replacing Anne Curry in 2012, said: “This has to be the most popular decision NBC has ever made, and I am so thrilled!”  On Nov. 29, the show’s star Matt Lauer — a friend of both women — was fired for alleged inappropriate sexual behavior.
-Yahoo, E!
★ Gillian Anderson has confirmed that the upcoming season of ‘The X-Files’ will be her last, bringing her role as Dana Scully to an end.  Whether that means the series will close with the eleventh season remains to be seen. The new ‘The X-Files’ season debuts in North America on FOX tonight.  There will be 10 episodes.

• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Jessica Chastain, Sean “Diddy” Combs, Brandi Carlile
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): John Cena, Bridget Everett, Beck ( R )
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): David Harbour, Julien Baker
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Chris Hayes, Kristin Scott Thomas, Alex Lahey ( R )
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Rainn Wilson, Jack Whitehall, Novak Djokovic, Ty Dolla $ign ( R )
• “Conan” (TBS/Comedy): Anna Faris, Nathan Fielder, Dhani Harrison ( R )
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Robin Lord Taylor, Danielle Staub ( R )
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Guest co-host Yara Shahidi
• “The Talk” (CBS): Angela Bassett, Sean Valentine
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Chris Hemsworth, Millie Bobby Brown, Katy Mixon
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Seth Meyers, Sean “Diddy” Combs, DJ Khaled, Meghan Trainor, Charlie Walk, Fergie, Charlie Puth
• “The Amazing Race 30” (CBS): Season 30 begins in Washington Square Park in New York City. The 11 teams then fly to Iceland, where they must traverse a massive canyon high above the Geitargljufur River.  (The WHAT-now?)
• “The X-Files” (FOX): The 10-episode second season of the revived series (and 11th overall) starring David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson. Tonight’s premiere and the season finale will center on the ongoing storyline, while the remaining eight episodes will be stand-alone adventures
• “9-1-1” (FOX): Premiere. Follows first responders played by Angela Bassett, Peter Krause, Connie Britton, Aisha Hinds, and Rockmond Dunbar.

• Taylor Swift – her ‘Reputation’ album returned to Number One on the Billboard 200 as last-minute Christmas shopping propelled the year’s top-selling album back into the top spot.
• Lorde – is being called a bigot in a full-page Washington Post ad…after cancelling a concert in Israel. The ad, in the Dec. 31 newspaper, was placed by outspoken rabbi Shmuley Boteach’s This World: The Values Network and criticizes Lorde for joining “a global antisemitic boycott of Israel” while still performing in Russia.
• Britney Spears – has ended her Las Vegas residency. What was originally slated to be 2-year gig was extended to four due to high demand.  Her estimated take?  Over $100 million.
• KISS – Original guitarist Ace Frehley rocked the NHL Winter Classic pre-game festivities at Citi Field on New Year’s Day with his solo hit ‘New York Groove’.  The Goo Goo Dolls played during the first intermission and Springsteen’s drummer Max Weinberg’s solo band ‘Max Weinberg’s Jukebox’ served as the house band throughout the afternoon.
• Kim Mitchell – his New Year’s Eve outdoor concert in Barrie, ON was cancelled due to extreme cold.
• Chris Stapleton – his song ‘Millionaire’ is on former U.S. President Obama’s list of his favorite songs of 2017.  Jay-Z, Harry Styles, Kendrick Lamar and U2 also appeared on Obama’s annual playlist, which he released while President, and says he will continue the tradition.
• Carrie Underwood – has shared that a fall at her house in Nashville resulted in 40 to 50 stitches in her face, in addition to a previously-revealed wrist surgery.  Although she says she is excited for 2018, and is set to begin recording next week, she did tell her fans that, “When I am ready to get in front of a camera, I want you all to understand why I might look a bit different.  “I’m hoping that, by then, the differences are minimal, but, again, I just don’t know how it’s all going to end up.”

You’ve received the emails.  The Nigerian Prince who desperately needs your help. The government official or royal family member from Nigeria needs an urgent fund transfer, and promises to not only reimburse you but also pay you big bucks for your help.  Well it turns out that one of the “Nigerian princes” was actually just some 67-year-old dude from Louisiana.  Michael Neu, has been caught in an alleged web of lies and charged with 269 counts of wire fraud and money laundering.  After an 18-month investigation by the Slidell Police Department’s Financial Crimes Division, Neu was arrested on Thursday, suspected of being the “middle man” in hundreds of scams that robbed people of their money in the popular online scam. Some of the money that Neu allegedly stole was wired to co-conspirators that were actually in the country of Nigeria.
(So you’re sayin’ there’s still a chance that the Prince is real?)
(Excuse me.  I have a wire transfer to cancel!)
(And if you can’t trust a stranger from another continent whom you’ve never met and who contacted you randomly…who CAN you trust?)

In April, clinical trials will start for a topical gel that will act as a form of male birth control.  The cream…which in spite of what you might guess, is rubbed onto the UPPER ARMS AND SHOULDERS, is supposed to stop the production of sperm.  Tests are scheduled to take place over four years.
(Because guys who aren’t responsible enough to wear a condom are really going to be responsible enough to apply a cream every day?)
(Maybe guys would better remember to use it if they WERE supposed to rub it on their junk!)
(Can I order it online?  That way I could get my male birth control by mail!)

Meet Ashley Davison and her boyfriend Blake Perry. An adorable couple who seemed to be head-over-heels in love. But it seems they may be two-thirds of a love triangle.  Because Blake loves his video games.  So much so that when Ashley, a University of Oklahoma student, presented Blake with his Christmas present, a copy of the video game ‘Call of Duty: WWII’, she included with it a contract.  In order for him to accept the present, he had to agree to five terms of ‘engagement’, including:
☞ “If I call you must pause the game and talk to me with full attention.”
☞ “No starting another match if we are planning to hang out or I ask to hang out.”
☞ “You must ask if it is okay for you to play while I am over at your house with you. Make sure I have something to do while you are in battle.”
☞ “You must reply to a text no longer than 11 minutes.”
☞ “Do not forget to give me just as much attention.”
Blake accepted the terms, signed it, and tweeted a photo of the contract with the caption, “Little does she know these rules will be broken.”
(It seems that this game isn’t the only place where WWII is about to be fought!)
(All is fair in love and war!)
(Yeah…this is only gonna worse….!)

According to respondents of a poll by the movie ticket booking company ‘Fandango’…
1. Avengers: Infinity War (May 4)
2. Black Panther (Feb. 16)
3. Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom (June 22)
4. Deadpool 2 (June 1)
5. Solo: A Star Wars Story (May 25)
6. Incredibles 2 (June 15)
7. Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald (Nov. 16)
8. A Wrinkle in Time (March 9)
9. X-Men: Dark Phoenix (Nov. 2)
10. Ocean’s 8 (June 8)
(Strangely missing:  Martin Scorsese’s upcoming gangster flick “The Irishman”, starring Robert De Niro, Al Pacino, Joe Pesci, and Harvey Keitel)


1946 [72] John Paul Jones, Kent England, bassist/multi-instrumentalist/producer (Led Zeppelin – ‘Stairway to Heaven’, ‘Whole Lotta Love’)

1956 [62] Mel Gibson, Peekskill NY, movie producer/director (“Braveheart”, “The Passion Of the Christ”)/movie actor (“Lethal Weapon” series, “Mad Max” series) COMING UP… “The Professor and the Madman”, 2018

1969 [49] Michael Schumacher, Hürth, West Germany, retired Formula One racing driver and 7-time champion.  He continues to receive private rehab after a December 2013 traumatic brain injury suffered in a skiing accident.

1975 [43] Thomas Bangalter, Paris, France, electronica musician (Daft Punk-‘Starboy’ w/The Weeknd, ‘Get Lucky’ f/Pharrell Williams)

1981 [37] Eli Manning, New Orleans LA, NFL quarterback (2X Super Bowl MVP-NY Giants)/brother of retired QB Peyton Manning/son of NFL veteran Archie Manning

1985 [33] Mark Pontius, LA CA, indie pop-rock drummer (Foster the People-‘Don’t Stop’, ‘Pumped Up Kicks’)

1986 [32] Nash Overstreet, Nashville TN, pop-rock guitarist-vocalist (Hot Chelle Rae-‘Tonight Tonight’)/son of country music singer-songwriter Paul Overstreet

• “Fruitcake Toss Day”, your opportunity to finally throw away the old fruitcake. After the holidays are over, it’s time to bring in the new, and toss out the old. Today is the day that the fruitcake goes. Make it into a real event … go for distance! (Or do with it what Mother Nature intended: regift it!)

• “Chocolate Covered Cherry Day”, celebrating the traditional dessert.  Variations include cherry cordials with liquid fillings often including cherry liqueur, chocolate-covered candied cherries and chocolate-covered dried cherries.  (Go ahead…wasn’t one of your resolutions to eat more fruit??)

• “Drinking Straw Day”, celebrating its invention on this date in 1888.  Drinking straws were hand-rolled until 1905. How’d kids blow bubbles in their milk before they were invented?

• “Festival of Sleep Day”, as declared by some anonymous walking zombie somewhere. Thanks to a combination of late hours, alcohol, rich foods, exposure to unfamiliar surroundings, and artificial light deep into the night over the holiday season, experts say most of us build up ‘sleep debt’, a condition which can affect how well we sleep for weeks afterward.

• “Humiliation Day”  No it is NOT a day to humiliate someone!  It is a day to recognize the negative effects that humiliation can have on people or groups of people (Or dogs forced to wear onesies…)

[Thurs] Dimpled Chad Day
[Thurs] Spaghetti Day
[Fri] National Bird Day
[Fri] Whipped Cream Day

2013 [05] Movie actor Gerard Depardieu is granted citizenship by Russian president Vladimir Putin after he renounces his French citizenship due to the country’s high taxes

2002 [16] Liam & Noel Gallagher of Oasis top a poll on the celebrities you would least like to live next to, getting 40% of the vote

2004 [14] Britney Spears weds hometown pal Jason Alexander at the Little White Wedding Chapel in Las Vegas and then, 55 hours later, has the union annulled

1987 [31] The Rock & Roll Hall of Fame inducts its 1st female artist, Aretha Franklin

1992 [26] Bernard Moeller of Pennsylvania gets his 14,000th tattoo, leading to a listing in the “Guinness Book of World Records” as ‘Person With the Most Individual Tattoo Designs’

2014 [04] According to the ‘Bloomberg Billionaires Index’, the net worth of the 300 richest people in the world collectively increased by $524 billion and the group has an aggregate net worth of $3.7 trillion


✓ The national anthem of Greece has 158 verses.
✓ The Spanish national anthem has no words.
✓ The word ‘facetiously’ contains all 5 vowels and “y” in alphabetical order.
✓ Kangaroos do not hop backward.
✓ The tiger’s skin is striped, just like its fur.
✓ The brain named itself.
-ThoughtCatalogue, NationalGeographic

• Rocket science is actually the easiest of all the sciences.
• There are in fact more Jedi.
• It is physically impossible to be blinded by science.
• Egyptians walk just like everybody else.
• It turns out that Pluto is actually a planet (again…).
• 2017 was a science experiment gone wrong.
• Men are not actually from Mars but are still pretty weird.
• Wedding cake reduces a woman’s sex drive by 75%.

• Why do we always ask babies and pets the same question twice?
• Why does someone recite at a play, but play at a recital?
• Why is it that people will buy anything that’s ‘one per customer’?
• Is cheese the plural of choose?
• Why is it that if you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire?
• When looking at a group picture, has anyone ever looked at anyone besides themselves when they said “I love it!”?

☎ If it were up to you, what word would you banish from the English language?
This year’s list, as seen in yesterday’s BS:  https://www.lssu.edu/banished-words-list/

I am a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I am perfect.

Question:  25% of women say they would never date one of these.  What?
Answer: A Star Wars Fan

The master has failed more times than the beginner has even tried.

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