Friday, January 5, 2024 – Edition: #7628

Sheet Happens!

 

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Britney Spears has shot down rumors that she’s recording a new album while declaring that she “will never return to the music industry!!!” In an Instagram post, she wrote: “They keep saying I’m turning to random people to do a new album… I will never return to the music industry!!! When I write, I write for fun or I write for other people!!!” She also claims to have written over 20 songs for other people the past 2 years as a ghostwriter, and “honestly enjoy(s) it that way!!! She appeared to be addressing a report that she was looking to team up with Charli XCX or Julia Michaels, co-songwriter of the tunes in the Disney film “Wish,” for an upcoming music project. Sources told Rolling Stone that Spears’ management is “trying to get her excited” for the possible collabs, despite her disinterest.
-Messenger, PageSix
★ ESPN host Pat McAfee has apologized to Jimmy Kimmel for Aaron Rodgers’ suggestion that the late-night host was an associate of Jeffrey Epstein. On his talk show, McAffee said: “Whenever you’re free wheelin’ and dealin,’ in conversations, they can certainly lead to some conversations that cause international news and things like that. And whenever there’s accusations made about people, that can lead to lawsuits”. He went on to apologize, and say: “I Can’t wait to hear what Aaron has to say about it. Hopefully those two will just be able to settle this.”
-Deadline
★ Amber Heard has officially addressed “Aquaman” fans after her controversial appearance in the movie’s sequel. On Instagram, Heard shared 3 pics of herself, and in each, she is sporting the bright red hair color of her character, ‘Mera’. In the caption, she wrote: “After all this time, Aquaman 2 made its splash (sorry, it’s too easy). Thank you to all of my fans for the overwhelming support and love in Mera’s AQ return.” While many expected Heard to reprise her role in “Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom”, others called for her to be removed from the film over allegations brought against her by Johnny Depp during their messy defamation trial. LINK: http://tinyurl.com/2v39yb52
-PopCulture
★ Four decades have passed since Rob Lowe’s biggest Hollywood rejection – and he’s still not over it. He told USA Today that in the early 80s, he was in the running to play the lead in the big-screen musical “Footloose”, only to lose out to Kevin Bacon. Lowe said: “I was the guy. I was going to get this part, I just had to do the dance, which was to a Styx song, by the way. Not helpful”. The problem was the dance ended with a “drop-to-your-knees slide across the floor”, and when he did it, his “knee just exploded.”  Lowe said that as he was being wheeled out on a stretcher, he heard producers saying: ‘We’re going have to get a real professional dancer’. A week later he read that they had hired Kevin Bacon.
-HuffPost
★ Willem Dafoe will be honored with the 2,768th star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame on Monday. The 4-time Oscar nominee and star of “The Last Temptation of Christ” and 3 ‘Spider-Man’ movies will receive his star in the category of Motion Pictures. Guest speakers at the ceremony will include Patricia Arquette and Pedro Pascal.
-WalkofFame

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live!” (ABC/Global): Ray Romano, Sebastian Maniscalco, Paul Russell (R)
• “The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Keith Richards, 2 Chainz, Lil Wayne (R)
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Former Rep. Adam Kinzinger, Willie Nelson
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Tracee Ellis Ross, Mike Birbiglia, Marcus Gilmore (R)
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Celebrating Ana Navarro’s birthday
• “The Talk” (CBS): Jo Koy
• “Live With Kelly and Mark” (ABC/CTV): Jane Krakowski, Dr. Neil deGrasse Tyson
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (Check local listings): Jennifer Garner, Tony Gonzalez (R)
• “The Drew Barrymore Show” (Check local listings): Kerry Washington, Delaney Rowe (R)
• “Jennifer Hudson Show” (Check local listings): Roy Wood Jr.
• “The Prison Confessions of Gypsy Rose Blanchard” (Life): Series premiere. On the eve of her parole hearing, Gypsy shares shocking revelations and disturbing secrets; Gypsy runs away to be with her new boyfriend.
• “Dr. Death” (NBC): Season 2 premiere. In 2012, Dr. Macchiarini performs a breakthrough thoracic surgery, but some colleagues question his science. In the present, Macchiarini operates on Hannah and becomes romantically involved with Benita, a news producer covering the surgery.
• “2024 World Junior Hockey Championship” (TSN, NHL): Bronze and Gold medal games. From Gothenburg, Sweden (both games during daytime ET).
SATURDAY-
• “The Prison Confessions of Gypsy Rose Blanchard” (Life): After running away, Gypsy is lured home by her mother with promises of freedom and independence; She turns to Nick Godejohn, the young couple hatches a plan to murder Dee Dee.
• “NFL Football” (ABC, ESPN): Houston Texans @ Indianapolis Colts
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC): Host Jason Momoa; Tate McRae performs (R)
SUNDAY-
• “81st Annual Golden Globe Awards” (CBS): Celebrating achievements in film and television. Jo Koy hosts.
• “Grimsburg” (Fox): Series premiere. Marvin works to track down a missing teenage girl after her romantic interest is discovered decapitated along the side of the road.
• “NFL Football” (NBC): Buffalo Bills @ Miami Dolphins

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Selena Gomez — says she has “one more album” in her before she fully retires from music. The singer/actress, who currently stars in “Only Murders in the Building”, said on a podcast: “The older I get, the more I’m kind of like, ‘I would like to find something to just settle on’…I would probably choose acting. I am gonna wanna chill because I’m tired.”
• Lil Nas X – Wednesday, he tweeted an image that hints at his upcoming “Christian era” (pics of himself in a priest’s robe), and told fans to get ready for his new single. Quote: “im really bout to have the greatest comeback of all time. hope yall ready for next week.” LINK: http://tinyurl.com/ywnzk478
• Blink-182 – Travis Barker had a busy week. Not only did he complete a half-marathon in Santa Monica on New Year’s Eve, he also decided to head into the New Year with a new head tattoo. On his Instagram Story, he shared a shot of his latest ink, on the back of his skull near his ear. LINK: http://tinyurl.com/4wbh5rvp
• Led Zeppelin — 23 minutes of previously unseen footage of them playing live at the Pontiac Silverdome in Michigan in 1977, has emerged online. The film of the show, before an audience of 76,000, appeared on a YouTube channel dedicated to ‘Speedy’ Jim Kelly, a professional photographer who regularly shot 8mm footage of the shows he attended in the 1970s. LINK: http://tinyurl.com/3nav89hr
• Brian Kelley – will drop his new song ‘Trucks, Ducks, Bucks, & Beer’ on Friday, January 12. He posted a snippet on Instagram, and wrote: “All our favorite things in one song how bout it?!” LINK: http://tinyurl.com/3wfd7r7d
(***Caution: language***)• Kacey Musgraves and Dolly Parton – are among the familiar faces appearing in the first trailer for Paramount+’s upcoming feature-length documentary on June Carter Cash. In it, Musgraves rhetorically asks: “Who is June Carter Cash? She’s a badass bitch, first off.” “June” is directed by Emmy Award-winner Kristen Vaurio and will premiere on the service Jan. 16. LINK: http://tinyurl.com/5b6y5n78
(***Caution – language***) • Parker McCollum – had a monster of a year in 2023, but one of his highlights came in the form of a big loss. He said to PopCulture: “I played 9 holes of golf with George Strait a couple weeks ago. He whooped our a–. Yeah, he won by a lot.”

SHOOTING THE BULL

NEW MOVIES THIS WEEK:
• “Night Swim” (PG-13, Horror/Thriller): A family moves into a new, large house with an outdoor pool. While on the surface, everything appears to be perfectly normal, diving deeper reveals an evil entity waiting beneath… (Wyatt Russell, Kerry Condon) No Tomatometer rating
• “Weak Layers” (Rating TBA, Comedy – limited): After getting evicted, 3 party-loving friends set out to win a ski-movie competition. To cover their rent, they’ll have to beat out professional skiers and filmmakers. (Katie Burrell, Jadyn Wong, Neal Bledsoe) No Tomatometer rating
• “Good Grief” (R, Comedy/Drama – Netflix): Marc finds himself spiraling after the sudden death of his husband, leaning on his 2 best friends for support. To thank them, Marc takes them on a trip to Paris – but the trip finds all of them confronting some uncomfortable truths. (Dan Levy, Ruth Negga, Himesh Patel) Tomatometer: 80%, Audience Score: 50%

DOGGY TALK:
A psychologist is advising dog owners to talk to their pets more often. In her column for Psychology Today, Dr. Jen Golbeck points out a few benefits from human-to-canine conversation, and some of them are for people. For one, dogs like it when you talk to them – especially if you use that sing-songy ‘baby-talk’ voice that so many of us do. Researchers call this “dog-directed” speech, and it turns out that dogs actually prefer it. What’s more, studies show that the reward center of a dog’s brain is more responsive to their owner’s voice than to another person’s. Simply hearing your voice makes your dog happy. Talking to your dog makes you happy, too. If you’re speaking to your dog face to face and looking into their eyes, you’re both likely to experience a surge of oxytocin (often called the “love hormone”), which makes you both feel good. Studies have also showed that some people are more comfortable confiding in their dogs about unpleasant emotions, such as depression, anxiety, and fear, than they are with their partners or friends. Researchers speculate that this may be because dogs are nonjudgmental listeners, and putting your feelings into words allows you to feel “heard”, which can be good for you, emotionally.
(Well, I guess if I can teach Rover to “speak”, he can do the same for me…)
(I used to share all my problems with my dog. Until he started to understand me. The poor thing!)
-PsychologyToday

TANNENBAUMS AWAY:
Tomorrow is “Take Down the Christmas Tree Day”, and if you’re wondering what to do with yours, here are a few ideas…depending, of course, on the facilities available in your area…
• Mulch and landscape uses: Many communities offer recycling pick-ups or drop-offs sites, where trees are turned into mulch and used for city projects, or for limiting erosion and helping inject essential nutrients into the ground.
• Benefiting the animal population: If there is enough space on your property, you can make the tree into a natural bird or fish feeder. It can be “decorated” with things like popcorn, fruit or cereal, and turned into an ongoing science project for your kids.
• Donate it: That’s right, it can still be of use to local groups such as Boy Scouts, who take part in tree pick-up or drop-off programs as a fundraiser. And zoos and animal sanctuaries use old Christmas trees as treats and enrichment objects for the animals.
(Some places actually pick up your used Christmas trees? That sure beats throwing it out…branch by branch…in the garbage each week!)
-Fox

MOST POPULAR EMOJIS IN 2023:
According to Keith Broni, the editor-in-chief of the reference site Emojipedia…
1. Tears-of-joy or crying-with-laughter face
2. Rolling-on-the-floor laughing face
3. Red heart
4. Prayer sign (to express thanks)
5. Loudly crying emoji (used for hysterical laughter)
6. Heart eyes
7. Sparkles
8. Fire
9. Smiling face with smiling eyes
10. Smiling face with hearts
(Notably absent from the top-10 was the “thumbs-up”. We’re not sure what that means, but we’re “OK” with it!)
-NYPost

NEWS OF THE WEIRD:
➢ A group of passengers trying to celebrate New Year’s twice are furious after flight delays ruined their “Time machine” flight. The 3,000-mile United Airlines flight was scheduled to depart Guam at 7:35am on January 1, 2024, and land in Honolulu at 6:50 p.m. on December 31, 2023, thanks to the 20-hour time difference between the locations. This meant that passengers would effectively travel back in time, to ring in the New Year twice. But unfortunately, the 7-hour flight was delayed by . . .6½ hours. As a result, they landed in Hawaii at 12:35am, missing the New Year’s Eve countdown. United had advertised the “Back to the Future-esque” flight with the words: “You only live once, but you can celebrate New Year’s Eve twice!” (Well, technically, they DID celebrate New Year’s Eve twice…it’s just that one of them was in the air…)
➢ Efforts are now underway to have a pothole repaired in Grand Haven MI, after a recliner placed in the large hole led to an entire living room scene being set up outdoors. The pothole went viral after someone placed a leather recliner in the hole and pics were shared online. The chair soon vanished (and turned up on Facebook Marketplace, with an asking price of $1,000). It was replaced with a blue armchair, and locals added furniture and accessories to the scene until it was a full outdoor living room. Visitors who posed for photos with the pothole on Monday said they came from neighboring towns to see the viral celebrity. The city now claims that the hole is on a private road, but it is in contact with the property owner about having it repaired. (New city slogan: “Grand Haven – your home away from home. Literally!”) LINK: http://tinyurl.com/rem86ydf
-NYPost, UPI

DID YOU KNOW?
With the “Steamboat Willie” version of Mickey Mouse having entered public domain at the beginning of 2024, there has already been a Mickey horror film announced, a meme coin — and an explosion of AI-generated art, some G-rated, some definitely not. But save your Disney-themed tears. Mickey is one of the big reasons the company has been able to grow into a company worth $171 billion over the last 100 years – and according to Forbes’ estimates, the big-eared one has directly earned more than $5.8 billion a year in box office sales, TV series, merchandise, theme parks, partnerships and promotion of the Disney brand, in recent years. (“It’s all part of the magic!”)
-DailyMail

BS CHRONOMETER 01.05.24

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Bird Day”, an annual observance where adherents celebrate through birdwatching, studying birds, and bird adoption. Part of the idea is to educate wannabe bird owners about the special issues involved with taking care of our fine feathered friends.
• “Whipped Cream Day” (aka Crème Chantilly), celebrating the sweet fluff used to top off desserts. (What’s the weirdest thing you put it on?)
• “Twelfth Night”, the “Eve of Epiphany”. Tomorrow is the “Twelfth Day of Christmas” when, according to the carol, your true love should give to you ‘12 drummers drumming’. Different traditions mark the date of “Twelfth Night” on either the 5th or 6th of January.
• “Screenwriters Day”, most people think that the director creates the vision for the things they watch. They’d be surprised to discover that almost every movie or TV show was originally created, written, and rewritten long before the director ever heard of the project…by a screenwriter! Today we honor the great screenwriters. (Quick – name one!)
• “National Keto Day”, an observance of the popular high-fat, low carb ketogenic diet that “has been shown to offer a number of health benefits, including weight loss, blood sugar maintenance, and cognitive support”, according to the Vitamin Shoppe, which originated the observance. (Fun “fact”: The keto diet won’t work unless you tell everyone you come in contact with that you’re on it!)

SATURDAY-
• “Take Down the Christmas Tree Day”, as the official holiday season ends today with Epiphany.
• “Epiphany” (aka “Three Kings Day”), a Christian celebration and public holiday in Spain, Italy, Sweden, and Puerto Rico. In Ireland it’s known as “Little Christmas”; in Italy the kindly witch ‘La Befana’ slides down chimneys on her broom to bring toys & goodies for kids; in Mexico, where it’s known as “Dia de los Santos Reyes”, kids leave shoes out to be filled with toys by ‘Los Tres Reyes’ (The Three Kings), who tote gifts while riding camel-back.
• “Carnival Season” begins, running from today (“Epiphany”) until February 16th (“Shrove Tuesday”). Although some people use Carnival and Mardi Gras interchangeably, they’re actually different things. Carnival is a time to eat, drink and be merry before the rigorous fasting and sacrifice during Lent.
• “Fruitcake Toss Day”, It’s not like you were ever going to eat it…
• “Cuddle Up Day”, an opportunity to snuggle up to someone or something on a cold Winter’s day.
• “Apple Tree Day”, started as a celebration of an apple tree that was almost 2 centuries old. It is unknown which tree it was—maybe it was the Original Bramley apple tree, or Granfer’s apple tree (both in England), both of which stood for over 200 years. (And lived “appley” ever after?)
• “Smith Day”, celebrating the most-common surname in the English-speaking world, plus all surnames with “Smith” in them, such as Silversmith, and Nesmith. “Smith” means “worker.”
• “Bean Day”, celebrate the British 1990s sitcom “Mr. Bean”, starring Rowan Atkinson, who turns 69 today. (We understand this occasion is huge in England, but those of us in North America don’t really get it at all!)

SUNDAY-
• “Bobblehead Day”, an annual celebration of the dumb dolls with wobbly noggins that are often handed out as giveaways at sports events. (Then collect dust on a shelf for decades.)
• “I’m Not Going to Take It Anymore Day”, a day for doing something about the things that are holding you back, for taking control of your life, for standing up for yourself and fighting back, and for telling those who have been holding you back that you aren’t going to take it anymore. (If that’s OK with them…)
• “International Programmers Day”, honoring the mythical creatures who somehow solve all the problems of we lesser mortals without having to move from their desks. (And they know that programming is like sex: One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life!)
• “Orthodox Christmas” in many countries. Why? Both Eastern Orthodox Churches and Oriental Orthodox Churches still use the old Julian calendar.
• “Tempura Day”, celebrating the Japanese cooking tradition of dipping seafood or vegetables in a thin batter of flour and water, then frying them in oil. LINK: http://tinyurl.com/bfsagap
• “Pass Gas Day”, because everyone does it. The technical term for the gas that builds up is flatus, and when someone passes it, we say they have flatulence. That’s the technical term – most people just call it “farting”. The word “fart” was first used in 1632. (Is it a coincidence that yesterday was “Bean Day”?)
• “Harlem Globetrotter’s Day”, on the anniversary of the gag-team’s first game, in 1927 in Hinckley IL. At one point, they were so famous that they had their own cartoons, TV show, movies, and made appearances on “Scooby Doo” and “Gilligan’s Island”. (FUN FACT: Of the 10 honorary Harlem Globetrotters, 2 are Popes [Francis and John Paul II] — and one is Whoopi Goldberg)

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1931 [93] Robert Duvall, San Diego CA, movie actor (“Apocalypse Now”, “The Godfather”) COMING UP… “The Ploughmen”

1942 [82] Charlie Rose, Henderson NC, TV host (“CBS This Morning” 2012-17, “Charlie Rose” 1991-2017), TV journalist (“60 Minutes” 1999-2005, 2008-17)

1946 [78] Diane Keaton (Hall), LA CA, movie actress (“Something’s Gotta Give”, Oscar-“Annie Hall”) COMING UP… “Arthur’s Whiskey”, 2024

1959 [65] Clancy Brown, Urbana OH, movie actor (“The Shawshank Redemption”)/TV actor (“Dexter: New Blood”, voice of ‘Mr. Krabs’ on “SpongeBob SquarePants” since 1999)

1968 [56] Carrie Ann Inaba, Honolulu HI, dancer/TV personality (“Dancing With the Stars” judge since 2005, “The Talk” 2017-21)

1969 [55] Marilyn Manson (Brian Warner), Canton OH, shock-rock singer (‘Sweet Dreams’, ‘The Dope Show’)

1970 [54] Rick Campanelli, Hamilton ON, TV personality (“ET Canada” 2005-17)/‘Rick the Temp’ on MuchMusic 1996-2005)/radio personality

1975 [49] Bradley Cooper, Philadelphia PA, movie actor (“The Hangover” movies, “Silver Linings Playbook”/movie director (starred in and directed “A Star is Born” [2018] and “Maestro”)

1978 [46] January Jones, Sioux Falls SD, TV actress (“Mad Men” 2007-15, “The Last Man on Earth 2015-18)/movie actress (“X-Men: First Class”, “Love Actually”)

1981 [43] Deadmau5 (Joel Zimmerman), Niagara Falls ON, electronic music DJ-producer (w/Kaskade-‘Move For Me’, ft. Rob Swire-‘Ghosts ‘n’ Stuff’)

1987 [37] Kristin Cavallari, Denver CO, reality TV star (“Laguna Beach: The Real Orange County”, “The Hills”)/actress (“Van Wilder: Freshman Year”)/businesswoman (fashion designer and founder of lifestyle brand “Uncommon James”)

SATURDAY- Rowan Atkinson (“Mr. Bean”) is 69; Nigella Lawson (“My Kitchen Rules”) is 64; Howie Long (“FOX NFL Sunday”) is 64; Norman Reedus (“The Walking Dead”) is 55; Ree Drummond (“The Pioneer Woman”) is 55; Julie Chen Moonves, (“Big Brother”) is 54; Eddie Redmayne (“The Theory of Everything”) is 42; Kate McKinnon (“Saturday Night Live”) is 40

SUNDAY- Kenny Loggins (‘Footloose’) is 76; Katie Couric (“Today”) is 67; Nicolas Cage (“National Treasure” films) is 60; Jeremy Renner (“Avengers” films) is 53; John Rich (Big & Rich) is 50; Lauren Cohen (“The Walking Dead”) is 42; Brett Dalton (“Marvel’s Agents of Shield”) is 41; Lewis Hamilton (Formula One Champ) is 39; Marcus Scribner (“black-ish”) is 24

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1995 [29] After 82 episodes of the sitcom “Seinfeld”, Kramer’s given name is finally revealed: ‘Cosmo’

2015 [09] Cameron Diaz marries Good Charlotte’s Benji Madden in Beverly Hills CA (still together!)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1979 [45] The double-album soundtrack to the film “Saturday Night Fever” reaches sales of 25 million, making it the best-selling LP in history at the time

1998 [26] Sonny Bono (of Sonny & Cher, and Republican congressman) dies in a skiing accident near South Lake Tahoe CA, at age 62

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
2005 [19] Eris, the largest known dwarf planet in the Solar System, is discovered by a team at the Palomar Observatory in California (although slightly smaller in diameter than Pluto, it is considered larger due to its larger mass)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1987 [37] Tony Ferko sets a new world record by fitting 7 ping-pong balls into his mouth

BULL’S BITS

BS WHACK FACTS:
✓ If you ran (literally) at a snail’s pace, it would take you 18 months to finish a marathon.
✓ The average snowflake falls at about 3 mph (4.8kph).
✓ One inch (2.5cm) of snow will produce just less than 1/10 of an inch (.25cm) of water when melted.
✓ A high quality Persian rug can last for 500 years.
✓ Incidences of déjà vu decrease with age.
✓ Tom Cruise writes with his right hand, but does almost everything else with his left hand.
-WTFFacts, FactRetriever

Best of BS . . .
BS SIGNS YOU WORK IN A BAD OFFICE:
• You have a desk, but no chair.
• Every week a third of your pay is deducted for the ‘Prozac Fund’.
• To increase profitability, the conference room has been turned into a chinchilla farm.
• Only the vending machine makes less money than you.
• In your one-page performance report, the word ‘sucks’ appears 13 times.
• The company president casually asks you if you know anything about starting fires.
• When stressed, your boss compulsively licks his back.
• The guy who comes in once a week to change the water cooler is the new VP.
• When you say, “See you tomorrow,” the security guard laughs uncontrollably.
• Your office nickname: ‘Deadwood’.
-First published in BS in 2014

BS SIGNS YOU MAY HAVE A BINGO ADDICTION:
• You brag to your friends that you’re down to just 2 boards-a-day.
• You’re banned on 3 seniors’ cruise lines.
• Every time you sit down to play, you belt out the words: “It’s time to kick some bingo booty!”
• You’ve had to join ‘Bing-A-Non’.
• You start twitching uncontrollably whenever you hear someone sing: “There was a farmer, who had a dog …”
• You have to use a fake name when visiting select Florida resorts.
• When you’re diagnosed with a brain tumor, all you can say is that you hope it’s B9.
-First published in BS in 2017

BS WEB GOODIE:
On purpose or nah?  http://tinyurl.com/tesdy8n4

BS RANDOM JOKE:
I have a black eye in karate.

BS PHONE STARTER:
What’s the best way you or someone you know has gotten out of a ticket – or trouble with the law?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question:  A survey found we are 15% more likely to do THIS during the month of January. What is it?
Answer:  Meet a new significant other

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
We shall never know all the good that a simple smile can do.