July 2 2019

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Tuesday, July 2, 2019        Edition: #6484

Get a Load Of This Sheet!

★ Joe Jonas and Sophie Turner are married (again)! The couple, who first wed in Las Vegas on May 1, tied the knot at a chateau in France on Saturday. Guests included sister-in-law Priyanka Chopra, supermodel Ashley Graham and Turner’s best friend and “Game of Thrones” co-star Maisie Williams, who was the maid of honor.
★ “Spider-Man: Far From Home” star Tom Holland admits it is ”stressful” being a role model. He says that he has millions of followers, and most of them are under 18, so he has a “responsibility to be somebody to look up to. Quote: “Tony Stark is a billionaire, so fans can’t relate to that. Thor’s a Norse god – there aren’t any Norse gods. Captain America is a super-soldier, and there aren’t any of them. But Peter Parker’s a school kid. There’s millions of those.” Holland says that sometimes he wants to “go to a club with mates, get steaming drunk and be an idiot. But I can’t, because I have a reputation to uphold.”
(With great power comes great responsibility…”)
★ Princess Diana almost starred in a sequel to “The Bodyguard,” according to her would-be co-star Kevin Costner. In an interview, Costner said that Diana fielded an offer to star in “‘Bodyguard 2’ in the same kind of capacity as Whitney [Houston]”, and that she had entertained the possibility of accepting it shortly before her death in a 1997 car accident. The conversations were facilitated by Sarah Ferguson, the former Duchess of York, who Costner described as supportive of the idea.
★ Rupert Grint has developed a passion for beekeeping. Best-known for his starring role in the “Harry Potter” franchise, Grint joked during his appearance at Glastonbury Festival that he even considered turning up to the event dressed in his beekeeping outfit. As he put it, “It’s good for the environment.” He also said that he is considering releasing his own brand of honey.
★ Melissa McCarthy is reportedly in talks to play the villain ‘Ursula’ in Disney’s live-action remake of “The Little Mermaid”. The film will be directed by Rob Marshall and will feature new songs co-written by “Hamilton” creator Lin-Manuel Miranda. There is still no actress attached to play the lead role of ‘Ariel’.


• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Tiffany Haddish; The Killers
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Joel Kinnaman, a performance by the Broadway cast of “Ain’t Too Proud” (R)
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Rep. Beto O’Rourke, Billy Porter (R)
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Rachel Maddow, Julio Torres; Ana Fabrega, Fred Armisen
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Armie Hammer, Amber Heard, Middle Kids, Cardi B (R)
• “Conan” (TBS): Tony Hale (R)
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Elizabeth Warren
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Hugh Jackman, Chrissy Metz, Why Don’t We
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Chelsea Handler, Jodie Comer (R)
• “Big Brother” (CBS): Episode 4 of strangers living together in a camera-filled house in an attempt to win $500,000 by being the last one standing after three months of confinement.
• “Secrets of the Dead” (PBS): Season 18 premiere. Using observations of the Earth’s moons and Jupiter’s moons, Galileo’s “Sidereus Nuncius” proves Earth is not the center of the universe.

• Taylor Swift – says she is “sad and grossed out” that Scooter Braun — who she claims has subjected her to “incessant, manipulative bullying” over the years — is now the “owner” of her first six albums. She posted a lengthy message on her Tumblr page on Sunday after the news broke that Braun had agreed to buy Big Machine Label Group LLC, which owns the rights to Swift’s music, as well as music from Sheryl Crow, Florida Georgia Line, Thomas Rhett, Rascal Flatts, Lady Antebellum, and others.
• Carly Rae Jepsen — says becoming famous made her lose her love of music. She says her life changed enormously thanks to her breakthrough single ‘Call Me Maybe’ in 2011, and her “life was such a blur…it’s easy to lose yourself in fame and be swallowed up by people’s perception of you. I was losing my happiness.” She says that’s why she took so much time making her 2015 album “Emotion”.
• Katharine McPhee – married music producer/composer David Foster on Friday in London, UK. They met when she competed on American Idol in 2006, and he was a mentor to the contestants. She’s 35. He’s 69.
• Rolling Stones – Part way through their 2-hour set near Barrie, Ontario on Saturday night, Mick Jagger announced to the crowd that “For the next 15 minutes it’s a buck a beer, courtesy of Doug Ford”, mocking the Ontario Premier’s infamous campaign promise. There were no apparent discounts offered at the beer tents, which continued selling them for $12.50 each.
• Guns N’ Roses – A spokesperson for former drummer Steven Adler says the “self-inflicted stabbing” incident last week, which resulted in his being hospitalized, was actually a “very minor, superficial wound” and he is still planning to perform a July 12 show in Vegas. No other details were given, except that it was an accident.
• Dan + Shay – Sure, they’re having success with their single ‘Tequila’, but do they really like the drink? According to Dan Smyers, “we love 1942. We can’t afford it though, only when someone else is paying.” Don Julio 1942 sells for around $150 a bottle. And just to make sure someone else IS paying, the duo has it listed on their concert rider.
• Kacey Musgraves – While she is still in the midst of her “Oh, What a World: Tour II”, she knows what’s coming next. When a fan requested an “Oh, What a World Tour” live album via Twitter, Musgraves hinted that a project is already underway, responding, “Working on it.”

• ‘The Best of Enemies” (PG-13, Drama):  Civil rights activist Ann Atwater faces off against C.P. Ellis, Exalted Cyclops of the Ku Klux Klan, in 1971 Durham, North Carolina, over the issue of school integration. (Taraji P. Henson, Sam Rockwell)
• “The Public” (PG-13, Drama):  An act of civil disobedience turns into a standoff with police when homeless people in Cincinnati take over the public library to seek shelter from the bitter cold. (Alec Baldwin, Taylor Schilling, Emilio Estevez)
• “An Acceptable Loss” (R-Rated, Drama/Mystery):  Libby teaches at a university, but 4 years ago she was top aide to VP Rachel. Rachel is now U.S. president and worried about Libby keeping quiet. (Tika Sumpter, Jamie Lee Curtis)
• “Mia and the White Lion” (PG, Drama/Family):  Mia is 11 years old when she develops an extraordinary relationship with Charlie, a young white lion born on Mia’s parents farm in South Africa. (Daniah De Villiers, Mélanie Laurent)

Sending flowers to a sick or sad friend might seem obvious, but it just might be more helpful than you think. In a study by the American Society for Horticulture Science, 90 patients were put into rooms either with plants or without plants, and those exposed to flowers were found to have lower blood pressure and heart rate, lower ratings of pain, anxiety, and fatigue, plus more positive feelings and higher satisfaction with their rooms than the patients without foliage. Researchers were so impressed by the results of the study that they went as far as suggesting that flowers should be “complementary medicine” for recovering patients.
(Unless they’re sick in bed with a vicious allergy to potted plants!)
(Wow! Exactly what kind of plants were they giving these people?)
(And as I’ve found out, flowers can also help the sender…avoid the pain of the silent treatment on their anniversary!)

By now, most of us aware of the evils of the “blue light” of our electronic devices when it comes to disrupting our sleep. Now, scientists are saying that even the amount of light emitted even by a few candles is enough to slow down the production of melatonin, the hormone that spikes in the evening to make us sleepy. Researchers studying how different levels of light affect us found that some people’s tolerance may be up to 58 times higher than others. They found that a level of light too low to read in still stunted melatonin by 50 per cent in the average person. But others with a higher tolerance didn’t have the 50 per cent drop in melatonin levels until they were exposed to a light level equal to that of a sunrise. One professor says: “For some people, a dim reading light might as well be daylight, and for others it might as well be darkness.” Or as another professor, who is seemingly one of those most affected by light, put it: “I keep my home as dim as I can without bumping into furniture.”
(And that, my dear, if you’re listening, is why I’ve mastered the art of peeing in the dark!)
(Next, could they explain why it is that I can fall asleep in front of the TV with my phone in my hand at 7pm, but as soon as I go to bed…)
(I don’t know a lot about this melatonin stuff, but do they make it in kids’ sizes?)

☞ Sit at a tall table near the window:  Why? People who sit here tend to order healthier menu items because to sit there you have to have a little more posture and a little more awareness of what you’re doing. People who sit in that booth in the back are said to be 80 percent more likely to order a dessert, and about 80 percent less likely to order a salad. (I’m not usually given a choice…)
☞ Ask the server:  Rather than skim the menu for healthy-looking selections, ask your server, “What are a few of your lighter options that people really like?” Don’t just ask for the healthy options or all you’ll get is a nod towards the salads. If you ask for the lighter foods, you might find a nice surprise like the baked pork chop that has apple sauce, or something like that.
☞ Have butter(!):  Surprised? Although olive oil is the healthier option to have with your bread basket, diners end up consuming 29 percent fewer calories when they choose butter. Why? We don’t use near as much butter compared to olive oil. We tend to put on olive oil and literally just watch it soak it up. (Then I hold it above my mouth and squeeze it like a sponge…)
☞ Use a smaller plate at the buffet:  Healthy eaters are a lot more likely to survey the food before they pick up their plate, and are seven times more likely to use a smaller plate. They sit, on average, about 16 feet father away from the buffet, and they’re three times more likely to face away from the food. (As opposed to crazy cousin Dougie, who actually pulls a chair up to the meat-carving section…)


The Sony Walkman turned 40 years old yesterday. It was the first portable audio cassette player that allowed users to privately enjoy music through headphones. This was revolutionary, and it soon won over the world. Despite being a registered trademark, “Walkman” quickly became a generic name for all portable cassette players, and Sony sold more than 220 million of them before they became obsolete with the arrival of portable CD players, and eventually portable mp3 players.


1947 [72] Larry David, Brooklyn NY, TV producer-director-writer-actor (“Curb Your Enthusiasm” since 2000, “Seinfeld” 1989-96)

1949 [70] Roy ‘The Professor’ Bittan, Queens NY, rock keyboardist (Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band)

1956 [63] Jerry Hall, Gonzales TX, former model/stress (best known for her high-profile and several-decade-long relationship with Rolling Stones frontman Mick Jagger)

1983 [36] Michelle Branch, Flagstaff AZ, pop/country singer (‘All You Wanted’, w/Santana: ‘The Game of Love’)

1986 [33] Lindsay Lohan, NYC, movie actress (“Mean Girls”, The Parent Trap”, “Freaky Friday”)/TV reality star (“Lindsay Lohan’s Beach Club”, 2019)

1990 [29] Margot Robbie, Australia, movie actress (“I, Tonya”, “The Wolf of Wall Street”, “Suicide Squad”) COMING UP…”Once Upon a Time … in Hollywood”, 2019

• “Freedom From Fear of Public Speaking Day”. They say speaking in public is our #1 fear, with death being #2. That means if you’re at a funeral, you’re better off in the casket than giving the eulogy!

• “I Forgot Day”, set aside to make up for all the birthdays, anniversaries, and other special occasions that you forgot to acknowledge over the past year. (What’s the lamest excuse you’ve heard?)

• “World UFO Day”, a day in which individuals and groups are encouraged to gather together to watch the skies for Unidentified Flying Objects.
NET: http://www.worldufoday.com

• “World Sports Journalists Day”, honoring those who report on sporting topics, an essential element of any news media organization. Sports journalists from all over the world are united by the International Sports Press Association. (And are called the “Toy Department” by the news people!)

[Wed] American Redneck Day
[Wed] Stay Out of the Sun Day
[Thurs] Alice in Wonderland Day
[Thurs] Independence Day
This Week Is…National Unassisted Homebirth Week
This Month Is…National Baked Bean Month


1996 [23] “Independence Day”, starring Will Smith, Bill Pullman, and Jeff Goldblum, opens in movie theaters and grosses $100 million in 7 days … a new record


1988 [32] Michael Jackson’s ‘Dirty Diana’ hits #1 on the Hot 100, making him the first artist to score five #1 singles from the same album (“Bad”).

2001 [18] UK’s Liverpool Airport is renamed ‘John Lennon Airport’

2005 [14] “Live 8” concerts are staged simultaneously worldwide to benefit impoverished African nations, featuring performances by Elton John, Neil Young, Paul McCartney, Pink Floyd, Stevie Wonder, and The Who, among dozens of others


2002 [17] Adventurer Steve Fossett becomes 1st to fly solo around-the-world nonstop in a hot air balloon (later disappears during a 2007 flight and is declared legally dead in 2008)

2018 [01] British divers discover 12 boys and their soccer coach alive in Tham Luang Nang Non cave, Thailand after being trapped for 9 days by monsoon flooding. Between July 8-10, all of the boys and their coach were rescued

2006 [13] ‘Tata’, believed to be ‘World’s Oldest Crow’, dies in Bearsville NY at age 59 (blown out of its nest as a fledgling in 1947, it is never able to fly but is kept as a pet)


✓ Blowing out candles can increase bacteria on the cake by 1400%.
✓ Bumblebees can fly higher than Mount Everest.
✓ Divers who recover golf balls from lakes can make up to $150,000 per year.
✓ A survey of 1,000 U.S. adults found that 42% of respondents felt guilty for relaxing during their vacation time.
✓ In 2012, a cat named Orlando beat top investment bankers in a year long investment competition, which he chose by throwing his favorite mouse toy at a grid to select companies to invest in.
✓ Iceland imports ice cubes.

“Spider-Man: Far From Home” opens today, so here are some…
• “That’ll be $200 for saving your kid and an extra $100 because it’s after-hours.”
• “I’m just going to call the police…after all, really it’s their job.”
• “Your disguise is a pair of glasses! Of course, everyone knows! We’re just humoring you!”
• “Yes, please tell us your origin story for the fifth time…”
• “I’m sure that we can settle this matter through meaningful dialogue and an attempt at mutual understanding.”
• “Captain America has been let go after testing positive for performance-enhancing drugs.”
• “Dance off!”
• “All I ask for is a superhero costume that doesn’t give me a wedgie!”
• “That guy looks just like Stan Lee!”
• “Inside! The underwear goes INSIDE the tights!”

Best of BS . . .
• Ironing Man
• Sigh Hard
• Gently and Very Slowly Ease Mother From the Train.
• Indiana Jones and the Temple of Balloons
• Dude, My Car Was Here All Along!
• Just a Classic Park
• The Empire Smiles Back
• Slow and Curious
• Inglorious Math Nerds
• Jackson
-Twitter, first published in ‘BS’ in 2018

To err is human. To blame it on someone else is even more so.


• Which is the national animal of Scotland?
a. Sheep
b. Buckhorn Deer
c. Lion
d. Unicorn [CORRECT. Two were depicted in Scotland’s original coat of arms.]

• What country’s national flag provided the symbol for the Red Cross?
a. France
b. Switzerland [CORRECT]
c. Belgium
d. Italy


If you could eliminate one habit your mate has, what would you have them stop doing?


Question:  Just 2% of office workers say this is their biggest office pet peeve. What is it?
Answer:  Loud typing

You don’t have to attend every argument you are invited to.


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