Friday, July 7, 2006 Edition: #3322
It’s Another Running Of The Bull!
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
The new “Are You Mac Enough?” game based on “Pirates of the Caribbean” is the final promotion in the long-running exclusive marketing partnership between McDonald’s and Disney (McDonald’s has reportedly been paying the Mouse House $100 million a year for the privilege of flogging its films) . . . A unnamed guest at the JUNE 25th Nicole Kidman-Keith Urban wedding has put several mementoes up for bid on eBay, including a menu from the reception, a desk clock with commemorative inscription & a piece of the wedding cake (reserve bid for each – $5,000!) . . . Thanks to a court deposition from Jennifer Lopez’s one-time husband, Ojani Noa, we learn that she allegedly practises the West African/Caribbean religion Santeria and casts voodoo-like spells on those who cross her (ironically, the leaked court records are to do with the injunction she received – to keep him quiet!) . . . Movie star Hilary Swank has blamed her estranged actor-husband Chad Lowe’s ‘substance abuse’ for the break-up of their marriage but won’t reveal the substance he was using (perhaps female flesh?) . . . Word has it movie actress Lindsay Lohan is becoming more & more involved with Kabbalah to help find solace in her hectic life, and has now been give her own special Kabbalah name – ‘Rose’, apparently somehow based on her birth date (JULY 2) & place of birth (NYC) . . . Here’s an odd couple that’s been spotted out & about in Hollywood – 24-year-old Nicole Richie & 53-year-old actor Jeff Goldblum, whom she admits was a childhood crush (creepy) . . . Jilted actress Heather Locklear has reportedly been to a Lotusland ink parlor to have a tat on her left hip reading ‘Richie’ (as in Sambora) covered with a rose, and the word ‘Finch’ added in script above the heart tattoo on her right ankle (hmm, David Spade’s character on the TV sitcom “Just Shoot Me” was named ‘Finch’) . . . 24-year-old “Gilmore Girls” star Alexis Bledel & her former co-star/boyfriend Milo Ventimiglia (who turns 29 SATURDAY) have split up after 3-and-a-half years (seems someone was too cheap to buy a gift!) . . . And as previously suggested, new financial accounting shows that model Kate Moss’ fortunes have actually taken a turn for the better since her cocaine addiction was exposed, thanks to new deals with Burberry, Calvin Klein, Rimmel, Nikon, Roberto Cavalli & Virgin Mobile (once again proving that old saw: all publicity is good publicity).
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Busta Rhymes – TONIGHT he guests on “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC).
• Daniel Powter – TODAY he performs on the “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (CityTV).
• Jimmy Buffett – Ticketmaster reports his concert tour is the ‘Most Requested Event’ of the first half of 2006, based on online page views, info requests & ticket sales. Coming in 2nd: Tim McGraw & Faith Hill’s “Soul2Soul II” tour.
• John Fogerty – TONIGHT the former CCR frontman performs on the “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC).
• Katharine McPhee – She missed both Wednesday’s & LAST NIGHT’s performances as the 51-city “American Idols Live” tour began in Manchester NH. ‘Severe bronchitis and laryngitis’ is being blamed. What’s that choking we hear coming from the bathroom?
• Madonna – On her “Confessions Tour” she’s been promoting a charity called ‘Raising Malawi’, which supposedly helps orphaned children of that disease-ravaged African nation. The charity, it turns out, was founded by the co-director of the Kabbalah Center.
• Ne-Yo – TONIGHT he’s on the “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” (CBS).
TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
• “Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest” ( PG-13 Action Adventure ): All the original players including Johnny Depp, Orlando Bloom & Keira Knightley are back for this 1st sequel to the 2003 blockbuster ($654 million worldwide). In this installment, ‘Captain Jack Sparrow’ learns he owes a debt to the legendary ‘Davey Jones’, captain of the spooky ‘Flying Dutchman’. This is such a take-it-to-the-bank hit that much of the 3rd film in the series, “Pirates of the Caribbean: World’s End”, was shot concurrently. Theme music and some cool sound clips here …
NET: http://disney.go.com/disneypictures/pirates/
• “A Scanner Darkly” ( R-Rated Animated Sci-Fi Thriller ): Based on a novel by Philip K Dick (“Minority Report”, “Blade Runner”), the story is set in a future where the war on drugs has been lost and 2 of every 10 citizens have been hired by the government to spy on the others. Keanu Reeves plays an undercover cop who becomes addicted to ‘Substance B’. Winona Ryder plays his girlfriend who may or may not be trustworthy (wonder if she steals the show?). Robert Downey Jr co-stars as another addict (what a stretch!). Uses live-action footage that’s been hand-painted by animators (Keanu Reeves still only has one expression). Trailer is here …
NET: http://wip.warnerbros.com/ascannerdarkly/
• “Strangers with Candy” ( Limited Release Comedy ): A bigscreen treatment of the Comedy Central series (1999-2000) about a 46-year-old former ‘boozer, user & loser’ who goes back to high school. Amy Sedaris reprises her TV role. Co-stars Stephen Colbert (“The Colbert Report”), Philip Seymour Hoffman (“Capote”), and Matthew Broderick (“The Producers)”.
NET: http://strangerswithcandymovie.com/home.html
STACK ‘EM & PACK ‘EM:
In England, the 200-acre City of London cemetery built in 1853 is about to run out of room, so it’s now offering to lease ‘recycled’ burial plots, complete with the original re-engraved headstones. The graves of people who have been dead at least 75 years will be refurbished, provided there are no living survivors who object. A 50-year lease on the recycled plot and marker will set you back $5,500. (In London, that’s actually a helluva deal on a chunk of land.)
– “The Telegraph”
FIRE & ICE:
Ice cream shop owner Scott Wilson of Cary, North Carolina has created a new flavor that is so hot customers are required to sign a waiver before sampling it. Along with milk, sugar and the other usual ingredients, ‘Cold Sweat’ is made with 3 kinds of peppers (chiles, habaneros and Thai) and 2 kinds of hot sauce (Dave’s Insanity and Blair’s Megadeath). It reportedly tastes like fire … with a side of fire.
– “News & Observer”
BS ANIMAL TALES:
• A South Florida kitty is lucky to be alive after falling asleep – in a wood chipper. After an unaware worker turned the machine on, the little guy was fed through and suffered a broken neck, broken legs and damaged eye. But after 3 surgeries by a West Palm Beach vet, the orange & white feisty feline seems to be fine. It’s new name – ‘Chipper’.
• 38-year-old Brian Heidik, the $1-million winner of “Survivor: Thailand” in 2002, has been arrested in Douglasville GA and charged with battery and cruelty to animals. The first charge has to do with unspecified family violence. The latter is for allegedly shooting a puppy … with an arrow. During the bond hearing, Heidik told the judge he’d thought the dog was a coyote. The good news – it looks as if the wounded puppy will survive.
• Thanks to a heat-wave in Britain, Humerside Police are smearing 30 bottles of sunscreen per day on – their albino horse. ‘Sunny’ has a rare genetic disorder that’s left her with little pigmentation to shield her from the sun. Fortunately, a local pharmacy came to the rescue by donating some 50-rated sunblock – 5 gallons of it. Or should that be ‘Sunny-block’?
MAYBE IT’S THE GANJA:
A 60-year-old Newcastle UK woman has emerged from a stroke to find that she now has – a Jamaican accent. It seems Linda Walker is 1 of only 50 people ever recorded as suffering from what’s called ‘Foreign Accent Syndrome’, a condition that occurs when patients wake up after a brain injury to find they speak differently. Although speech therapy is helping return a smidgen of her local ‘Geordie’ accent, it looks likely that she’ll be stuck speaking with a Jamaican air … mon.
– “The Guardian”
WHAT A SURPRISE – MEN EXAGGERATE:
Men overrate their Internet skills while women tend to underestimate their computer prowess, according to Northwestern University researchers. In the first study to match actual skills of computer users to their perceptions of their skills, most women rate themselves between ‘fairly skilled’ and ‘not very skilled’, while men rate themselves from ‘very skilled’ to ‘fairly skilled’. Not a single man rated himself as ‘not skilled at all’ and not a single woman rated herself as ‘expert’.
– UPI
AGENT ORANGE:
A 17-year-old Middleton UK student who could only read and write upside-down has been cured – by the color orange. Previously, Gemma Williams had to even stand her computer monitor on its head in order to understand it. Tutors at Hopwood Hall College have solved the odd problem by placing an orange filter over the text she wishes to read. And she now uses orange paper to write the right way up. Dyslexia research has shown that the color amber makes things clearer by increasing the contrast. (She’s now decided to pursue a career designing Halloween greeting cards.)
– “Daily Mirror”
THE BULL SHEET 07.07.2K6
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1922 [84] Pierre Cardin, Venice, Italy, fashion designer
1940 [66] Ringo Starr (Richard Starkey), Liverpool UK, rock drummer/bad singer (The Beatles-“Act Naturally”) who’s currently on tour as Ringo Starr & His All Starr Band
1968 [38] Jorja Fox, NYC, TV actress (‘Sara Sidle’ on “CSI: Crime Scene Investigation” since 2000)
1969 [37] Cree Summer, LA CA (raised Red Pheasant SK), movie actress who’s been voicing cartoons since the age of 13 (“Clifford’s Really Big Movie”, “Rugrats Go Wild!”)/daughter of Canadian actor Don Francks
1969 [37] Joe Sakic, Vancouver BC, hockey center (Colorado Avalanche)/9-time NHL All-Star/captain of Team Canada (2006 Winter Olympics)/MVP (2002 Winter Olympics)
1980 [26] Michelle Kwan, Torrance CA, figure skater (4-time World Champion, Olympic Silver Medalist)
SATURDAY –
Canadian children’s entertainer Raffi (“Baby Beluga”) is 58; Movie actress Anjelica Huston (“Prizzi’s Honor”) is 55; Movie actor Kevin Bacon (“Where the Truth Lies”) is 48; Country singer Toby Keith (“A Little Too Late”) is 45; Movie actor Billy Crudup (“Almost Famous”) is 38; Alt-rock singer Beck (“E-Pro”) is 36; Country singer Drew Womack (Sons of the Desert) is 36; TV actress Sophia Bush (“One Tree Hill”) is 24.
SUNDAY –
NFL Hall of Famer OJ Simpson is 59; Musician/radio personality John Tesh is 54; TV actor Jimmy Smits (“West Wing”) is 51; Movie actor Tom Hanks (“Da Vinci Code”) is 50; Classic rock singer Marc Almond (Soft Cell) is 49; Classic rock singer Jim Kerr (Simple Minds) is 47; Movie actress/rock singer Courtney Love (“People vs Larry Flynt”) is 42; Pop singer Dan Estrin (Hoobastank) is 30.
TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Calgary Stampede” through JULY 16, a tradition in ‘cow-town’ since 1912 and famous in the rodeo world for the $50,000 prize money in each rodeo event final. Approximately 1,850,000 mini-doughnuts and 125,000 hotdogs are consumed each year at the Stampede.
NET: http://calgarystampede.com/
• “Father-Daughter Take a Walk Together Day”. If she’s a teenager, good luck! Like are you tryin’ to embarrass her or what?
• “Intern Appreciation Day”, a day to express gratitude to those dedicated young people who are attempting to kick off their careers by sweating it out on-the-job for free. Yeah, seems you get what you pay for.
• “Wayne Chicken Show” weekend in Wayne, Nebraska, home of the “National Cluck-Off” in which contestants must be audible across a barnyard, act and sound like a chicken, and keep it up for 15 seconds. Other events include ‘Most Beautiful Beak Contest’ and ‘Best Chicken Legs on a Human’.
NET: http://www.chickenshow.com
SATURDAY –
• “Moon Amtrak”. For the 27th consecutive year on the first Saturday after the Fourth of July, customers at Mugs Away Saloon in Laguna Niguel, California will line up cheek-to-cheek and simultaneously drop their drawers to moon passing trains. The bottoms-up bash draws as many as 1,000 people to the tavern.
NET: http://www.moonamtrak.org/
• “Moose Dropping Festival” in Talkeetna, Alaska, which includes the ‘Mountain Mother Contest’, the ‘Moose Nugget Toss’ and, of course, the dropping of a thousand ‘moose nuggets’ from a hot-air balloon. The enamelled moose poop is numbered and whoever holds the number of the dung dropped nearest a target wins $1,000.
NET: http://www.talkeetnachamber.org/event-moosedropping.html
• “Video Games Day”, a day for kids to appreciate both the games … and the parents who buy them. Actually, one of the fastest growing segments of the video games market is now adult women.
SUNDAY –
• “Barn Day”, a good excuse to have a wild time with all those party animals in your yard.
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2000 [06] Horror-spoof “Scary Movie” opens in theaters, which becomes popular enough to spawn 3 sequels
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1998 [08] Barenaked Ladies release “Stunt” album, featuring the #1 hit “One Week”
TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1891 [115] A patent is granted for the ‘Traveler’s Cheque’ (about to become obsolete due to the popularity of bank cards?)
1969 [37] Canada’s ‘Official Languages Act’ is passed, making French equal to English in the eyes of the government (the reason it now says Flocons de Mais on the back of your box of Corn Flakes)
COMING UP . . .
[Mon] Full ‘Buck’ Moon
[Mon] Don’t Step on a Bee Day
[Tues] MLB All-Star Game (Pittsburgh PA)
[Tues] Pet Photo Day
[Tues] UN World Population Day
[Tues] International Town Criers Day
[Tues] Rolling Stones relaunch “A Bigger Bang” tour (Milan, Italy)
This Week Is … Canned Luncheon Meat Week
This Month Is … Parks & Recreation Month
BULL’S BITS
WOULD YOU RATHER?
You run down the list while your guest or phone caller decides which choice is more palatable. Would you rather …
• Give bad advice or take it?
• Forget who you are or forget who everyone else is?
• Have 1 song playing in your head forever or have to say ‘like’ before every sentence?
• Give up your computer or give up your pet?
• Know when you will die or know how you will die?
• Wear unfashionable clothes or have a terrible haircut?
• Overthrow a dictatorship or lead one?
• Kiss a jellyfish or step on a crab?
• Kiss a crab or step on a jellyfish?
• Have an extra nipple or have an extra toe?
BS PHONE STARTER:
Who do you think is the most over-hyped celebrity? (According to a new “Washington Post” poll, that would be Paris Hilton.)
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: More than half of women say THIS is the one thing they want after a bad day.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: A hug from their spouse/partner.
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Learning to forgive takes practice.
