Tuesday, July 19, 2005        Edition: #3075
There’s a Difference Between Sheet and Crapola!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
While on house arrest, Martha Stewart is writing a guidebook for entrepreneurs called “Martha’s Rules”, due for publication in OCTOBER . . . Even though proposing to Katie Holmes at the Eiffel Tower reconfirmed Paris’ place as the world’s romantic capital, the city’s council has voted NOT to make Tom Cruise an ‘Honorary Citizen’ because of his belief in Scientology (one clever official has labeled him a ‘sect symbol’) . . . Starting NEXT MONTH, ‘SpongeBob SquarePants’ & ‘Dora the Explorer’ will appear on fruit & vegetable packages under licensing deals designed to entice kids to eat good-for-you stuff . . . While on a US exhibition tour with his Real Madrid team, styling Brit soccer star David Beckham has discarded his shirt to reveal – he’s shaved his armpits (likely more to do with his Gillette endorsement than fashion) . . . THIS FALL on the new season of “The Apprentice”, George Lucas will judge promotional concepts for the DVD of “Star Wars: Episode III – Revenge of the Sith” created by the contesting teams . . . A hardcore group of Oprah Winfrey fans has begun a grassroots campaign to get her the Nobel Peace Prize, citing her humanitarian work, generosity, charity and – huh? – ‘high fashion’ . . . Actress Drew Barrymore says she will step behind the camera to produce & direct when her ‘boobs fall down to the floor’ . . . Another steamy video is being offered up for online distribution, this one reportedly featuring movie actor Colin Farrell & his former girlfriend, “Playboy” model Nicole Narain (does anyone do it WITHOUT a camera anymore?) . . . “OC” star Adam Brody has big plans for his new-found wealth – he’s saving up to buy an elephant, because he always wanted one . . . Paris Hilton’s dreams of wedding in London’s St Paul’s Cathedral have been deep-sixed by cathedral officials who insist only members of the British royal family may marry there . . . Oscar-winning actress & perennial loser-at-love Halle Berry admits she spends a lot of time in online chat rooms being ‘various names and people’ (you know you’re lonely when …) . . . Being  drug & alcohol-free for almost a year has left Courtney Love a tad chubby, so she’s trying to lose weight by running with Pamela Anderson (this is dangerous – somebody could get knocked out!).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Christina Aguilera – The official line on why she’s wearing a cast & sling is that she accidentally sliced tendons in her arm 2 weeks ago while picking up a piece of glass from a vase her dog knocked over. Does this sound credible?
• Kid Rock – He’s just moved into his new $800,000, 3-story home in Nashville TN. He decided to live in Nashville after spending time there recording his biggest hit, “Picture”.
• Lauryn Hill – Speculation is the former Fugee is coming unglued again. LAST WEEK she arrived 3 hours late for a London show. But at least she showed up – she never did arrive for the “Live 8″ concert in Berlin.
• Ludacris – TONIGHT he’s on CBS-TV’s “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson”.
• Sloan – Foo Fighters have asked them to open their Canadian tour in mid-August which stops off in Vancouver, Edmonton, Calgary, Winnipeg & Toronto.
• Village People – Victor Willis, the cop in the 1970s disco group (“YMCA”), has been arrested in Daly City CA after real-life police found a gun and drugs in his Corvette.
• In stores TODAY – “Dukes of Hazzard: Music from the Motion Picture”, featuring Jessica Simpson’s rendition of “These Boots are Made for Walkin’” and a slew of Southern rock favorites; also “The Very Best of Emmylou Harris: Heartaches & Highways” and “Now That’s What I Call Music! 19″.

TODAY’S VIDEO RELEASES:
• “Man of the House” (Comedy – DVD): Tommy Lee Jones plays a by-the-book Texas Ranger who’s forced to go undercover to protect a team of college cheerleaders who’ve witnessed a murder. Co-stars Cedric the Entertainer & singer/actress Christina Milian (“Dip It Low”).
• “Constantine” (Thriller – DVD): The story of irreverent supernatural detective ‘John Constantine’ (Keanu Reeves) who has been to hell and back … literally. Based on the DC/Vertigo comic book “Hellblazer”. Co-stars Rachel Weisz & Gavin Rossdale (Mr Gwen Stefani).
• “Ice Princess” (Disney Family – DVD/VHS): Michelle Trachtenberg plays a figure skater who dreams of becoming a champion. Along the way her quest is aided by her parents, her coach … and the boy who drives the Zamboni. Joan Cusack, Kim Cattrall & Trevor Blumas co-star.

BASS ACKWARDS BOWLER:
Nashville TN salesman Jim Cripps is turning his back on bowling … literally. It all began when he decided to try backwards bowling as a joke and got a strike. Now, that’s the only the way he bowls. Cripps faces away from the pins and steps back before he lets the ball go. While his average score is 184, he recently rolled a career-high 279 in a game that included 11 consecutive strikes. His biggest problem – finding a place to bowl. Many alley operators think he’s mocking the game.
– “The Tennessean”

FLIPPING THE BIRD:
British engineers have developed an artificial bird to study the impact of a ‘bird strike’ on aircraft, a move which could save the airline industry millions. Currently only dead birds, football-shaped missiles and supermarket chickens are shot from gas-fired cannons at aircraft windshields, engines, wings and wheels to simulate the effects of a being hit by a bird. These, however, do not give much statistical data … and are a helluva mess to clean up.
– ANI

THE LIFESPAN OF TRASH:
The average time taken for various items to bio-degrade, according to a study for the UN Environment Program –
• Paper … 2-to-5 months.
• Orange peels … 6 months.
• Plastic-coated milk cartons … 5 years.
• Plastic bags … 10-to-20 years.
• Aluminum or tin cans … 50-to-100 years.
• Batteries … 100 years.
• Glass bottles … 1 million years.
• Plastic soft drink bottles … forever.
– “Discover Magazine”

ANOTHER MALE BASTION BITES THE DUST:
Marin Alsop, music director of the Bournemouth Symphony in England, is likely already the best-known female conductor in the world. But now she’s on the verge of being named the 12th music director of the Baltimore Symphony Orchestra, which would make her the first woman in history to conduct a major orchestra.
– “Washington Post”

WINE’S THE WINNER:
For the first time, an annual Gallup poll on North American alcoholic-beverage preference has found that wine (39%) has beaten out beer (36%). It also defeated liquor (21%). The change is being driven by men under age 50 who still prefer beer to wine, but by a far narrower margin than 5 years ago. And maybe it has something to do with the movie “Sideways”?
– “USA Today”

STYLE STATEMENTS:
• A preview of men’s fashions in Milan, Italy was highlighted by gingham stripes, rope belts, 1970s tablecloth prints, cuffed blousy knee pants and sexy bare arms stretched out from rolled shirt sleeves. Are men really ready for these styles scheduled to emerge NEXT YEAR?
• Italian racing boss Flavio Briatore is teaming up with designer Angelo Galasso to create ‘Billionaire Couture’, a fashion line for the staggeringly wealthy. Briatore’s previous claim to fame was fathering model Heidi Klum’s 1-year-old child, Leni.

BS LAW & DISORDER:
• Police in Columbia SC pulled over a driver wearing a black dress, red straw hat and … a little black moustache. It was the same outfit 49-year-old Booker Boyd was wearing when he allegedly tried to rob a bank minutes earlier. Investigators suspect him of committing at least 2 other robberies in recent weeks, but on those occasions his disguises were a tad less flashy.
• In Spain, where half the men say they do no housework, a new law requires men to share domestic tasks. Beginning THIS SUMMER, men must sign an agreement as part of the marriage contract in civil ceremonies. If a husband refuses to do his share, he faces penalties in a divorce settlement if the marriage fails.
• An Australian movie-goer has almost lost his nose in a fight with a complete stranger outside a cinema in Bathurst. The 19-year-old was leaving the theater when an argument broke out with another patron over the merits of the movie “Sin City”. Fortunately, the tip of the teenager’s nose was successfully reattached at a local hospital.

GUESS WHAT FIGHTS BAD BREATH?
If you want to freshen your breath in the middle of the workday, eat some yogurt. A new study from Tsurumi University in Yokohama, Japan concludes that eating yogurt every day may keep your breath fresh and reduce the offensive odors of halitosis. How much yogurt do you need to eat? 6 ounces of sugar-free yogurt will do it.
– “Health Day News”

BS AMAZING FACTS:
• ‘Race car’ spelled backwards is ‘race car’.
• The “2005 World Aquatics Championships” is the biggest sports gathering in Montréal since the 1976 Summer Olympics.
• If a person were to read each copy of every ‘Harry Potter’ book ever sold, it would take 7,000 years.

THE BULL SHEET 07.19.2K5

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1947 [58] Brian May, Hampton UK, classic rock guitarist/songwriter who collects royalties each time “We Will Rock You” is played at a sports event (Queen-“Bohemian Rhapsody”)

1960 [45] Atom Egoyan, Cairo, Egypt, Toronto-based film director (“Where the Truth Lies”, “The Sweet Hereafter”)

1963 [42] Kelly Shriver, country singer (Thrasher Shriver-“Be Honest”)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
TODAY is “Flitch Day”, based on a custom begun in the 15th century in which monks offered a ‘flitch’ or side of bacon as a prize to any married couple who could prove they had lived together in harmony and fidelity for the past year. Very few ‘took home the bacon’.

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1961 [44] TWA (Trans World Airlines) shows the first-ever ‘In-Flight Movie’ (“In Love Possessed”, starring Lana Turner & Efrem Zimbalist Jr)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1996 [09] Celine Dion sings “The Power of the Dream” at opening ceremonies for the Atlanta Summer Games, largest in the Olympics’ 100-year history with 197 nations participating

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1695 [310] 1st ‘Personal Ad’ looking for a spouse is printed (“Single white bi Pilgrim seeks …”)

TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
1985 [20] 7′-10″ George Bell of Durham NC wins title of ‘Big Foot’ with his size 28.5 shoe (and you know what they say about a guy’s shoe size!)

1994 [11] ‘Largest Bubble-Gum Bubble’ measures 23 inches in diameter (Fresno CA)

COMING UP . . .
[Wed] Moon Day
[Wed] Chess Day
[Wed] Lollipop Day
[Wed] Special Olympics Day
[Thurs] Junk Food Day
[Thurs] Full ‘Buck’ Moon
[Thurs-July 24] Manitoba Stampede & Exhibition (Morris MB)
[Thurs-July 30] Edmonton Klondike Days
[Fri] “Bad News Bears”, “The Devil’s Rejects”, & “The Island” open in movie theaters
[Fri] Rat Catcher’s Day
This Week Is … Space Week
This Month Is … Tahiti Awareness Month

BULL’S BITS . . .
TOP CAT NAMES FOR 2005:
Pet names are now dominated by human names, whereas in the past the most popular pet names were based on some physical or personality trait of the pet. Experts say this reflects the trend of pet-owners now seeing their pets as full-fledged family members. This year’s feline faves …
Female –
1. Chloe
2. Lucy
3. Cleo
4. Princess
5. Angel
Male –
1. Max
2. Tigger
3. Tiger
4. Smokey
5. Oliver
– Veterinary Pet Insurance poll

BS PHONE STARTER:
If you had to sell your soul for one thing, what would it be?

BS BLATANT JOKES:
• How can I miss you if you won’t go away?
• What’s a guy’s definition of a romantic evening? Sex.
• What’s a guy’s idea of honestly in a relationship? Telling you his real name.
• In the news today, a [local hick-town] resident has died while drinking milk. Apparently the cow fell on him.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: 206 BC is the earliest record we have of humans doing THIS.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Gambling.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
The sooner you fall behind, the more time you’ll have to catch up.