Monday, July 4, 2005        Edition: #3069
Nuthin’ Like a Bull in Your Radio Shop!

FROM THE WEEKEND TABLOIDS:
• It’s estimated that 5 billion, or 8 out of every 10 people in the world, watched at least part of “Live 8″ either in person, on TV or online. (“News of the World”)
• While we were all distracted, Ben Affleck & Jennifer Garner snuck off to wed in the Turks & Caicos in the Caribbean WEDNESDAY. The ceremony took place in front of family and friends on a beach on Parrot Cay, where ‘Bennifer 2′ are reportedly staying in an ocean-front villa owned by Bruce Willis. Their publicists have confirmed the wedding and that Jennifer is, in fact, pregnant. (“National Enquirer” / “Daily Mirror”)
• “American Idol” runner-up Bo Bice has wed long-time girlfriend Caroline Fisher in Helena AL. They met when he was a guitar store clerk who frequented the Ragtime Café where she worked as a waitress. Meantime, his version of “Inside Your Heaven” has replaced Carrie Underwood’s take on the same song as #1 on “Billboard” magazine’s singles chart, a first in music history. (“Daily Dish”)
• Grammy Award-winning singer Luther Vandross died FRIDAY at the age of 54 at the John F Kennedy Medical Center in Edison NJ. A hospital spokesman says the “Dance With My Father” singer never really recovered from a stroke 2 years ago. (“The Sun”)
• Sappy ‘70s singer Barry Manilow is planning a movie version of his musical “Copacabana” and wants Oscar-winner Jamie Foxx to play the role ‘Tony Parker’ in the film. “With him on board we’ll have a smash-hit”, Manilow is reportedly pining. (Moviehole.net)
• Michael Jackson is holed up in the Middle Eastern country of Bahrain, having flown in from Europe with his 3 kids. He’s reportedly staying at one of the royal palaces as a guest of the king’s son, Sheik Abdullah Bin Hamad Al Khalifa. (World Entertainment News Network)
• The unsolved murder of Notorious BIG is headed for the small-screen. HBO has a flick in the works with “Rocky” star Sylvester Stallone slated to play LAPD homicide detective Russell Poole. (“NY Daily News”)
• Jessica Simpson reportedly isn’t happy sister Ashlee has gone blonde. She’s not only asked her sister to change her hair color back to brunette but begged their father, who manages both of them, to ask Ashlee not to lighten up. (“Life & Style Weekly”)
• Marlon Brando’s annotated script from his 1972 film “The Godfather” fetched $312,800 (more than 20 times its estimated value) in an auction of the star’s memorabilia that netted a total of $2.3 million THURSDAY night. It’s the largest amount ever paid for a film script, according to Christie’s New York. (“E!”)

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Elton John – TONIGHT he’ll perform with the Philly Pops orchestra at the “Philadelphia Freedom Concert & Ball” to promote awareness and raise money for the fight against HIV/AIDS.
• Mariah Carey – TONIGHT she’ll sing tunes from “The Emancipation of Mimi” on NBC-TV ‘s “Macy’s Fourth of July Fireworks Spectacular”.
• Oasis – Has foul-mouthed singer Liam Gallagher seen the light? Reports say he’s banned his children from swearing … and goes to church regularly.
• Pink – She’s proposed to her motocross racer boyfriend Carey Hart … during a race. Seems she popped the question in Mammoth CA by holding up a sign that read: “Will you marry me?” then flipping it over to reveal the message on the other side: “I’m serious!” Witnesses say Hart pulled off the track and kissed his new fiancée.
• Shania Twain – Locals may have protested but she & husband Mutt Lange have finally won official approval to build a compound on their 61,000-acre sheep farm in New Zealand.

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ CALENDAR:
• TONIGHT Jeff Foxworthy hosts ABC-TV’s pre-taped “An American Celebration at Ford’s Theater: Salute to the Troops”, featuring Hilary Duff, Julie Roberts, Josh Gracin & Jesse McCartney.
• TONIGHT on CBS-TV’s “Boston Pops Fireworks Spectacular”, Gretchen Wilson, John Rich & Cowboy Troy perform.

THE NEW TENNIS BABE:
In a poll by men’s magazine “Zoo”, 18-year-old Russian Maria Sharapova has been voted men’s favorite female tennis player of the last 20 years at Wimbledon, easily out-stripping Anna Kournikova by 46% to 19%.
– Ananova

OLDIES BUT GOODIES:
‘Super-centenarians’ – those who have reached at least 110 years of age – are rare but their numbers are increasing. Robert Young, a researcher at UCLA’s Gerontology Research Group, estimates the world’s population of super-centenarians at 250 and growing, in part because doctors, medicines and nutrition have prolonged what experts call the human health span – the period between birth and the cascade of medical problems that mark the end of life. Age 115 is now regarded as a realistic upper limit to human longevity, which 5 women could reach by this NOVEMBER. The oldest validated super-centenarian is Hendrikje Van Andel of the Netherlands who turned 115 LAST WEEK. (And lives in a shoe.)
– “Los Angeles Times”

HEY, BIG GUY:
In the year since his gastric-bypass operation, Patrick Deuel of Nebraska has seen his weight plummet to 499 lbs from 1,072. In fact, he’s lost 102 lbs in the last 70 days, even though he admits his willpower is ‘basically zero’. Thanks to the stomach op, anybody can lose weight, the 43-year-old says. He’s proud of the fact he can now sit up, roll over, go outside and walk. (And he hopes soon to be fetching a Frisbee.)
– AP

CATCHPHRASE REVEALED:
There’s been much speculation over what Martha Stewart’s equivalent of “You’re fired!” will be when her spin-off “Apprentice “ series hits TV THIS FALL. According to tongue-in-cheek blogger ‘Bloggy McBlogalot’, here it is … “If I were preparing roasted halibut and zucchini with a rich butter sauce for a small but elegant wedding party in the Hamptons right now, you would be the tablespoon of dry white wine. Interesting, but ultimately replaceable. I’m sorry. I don’t know how to say it any clearer than that.” (We can’t imagine she’d be so abrupt!)
– Defamer.com

ABOUT A BOY:
For the “2005 Man Study”, some 2,000 men in 13 countries were polled on their personalities, life goals and daily work. Some surprising results –
Most men worldwide fall into 1 of just 4 categories …
• Metros
• Retros
• Patriarchs
• Power-Seekers
Most men agree 1 of these 3 statements would be the greatest insult to them …
• “He’ll never amount to anything.”
• “Everyone laughs behind your back.”
• “You’re stupid.”
And, believe it or not, the poll finds these are the ‘ultimate male fantasies’, ranked in order …
1. End world hunger.
2. Be a world-famous sports star.
3. Marry a supermodel.
– “NY Post”

A WEIGHT ON YOUR SHOULDERS:
Over the weekend the annual “World Wife Carrying Championships” took place in Sonkajarvi, Finland. The bizarre event, in which a man carries a woman over a 250 meter obstacle course, is rooted in a local legend about a wife-stealing gang. Revived as a contest 11 years ago, it now draws contestants from around-the-world. Lately the most successful couples have used the innovative ‘Estonian Carry’, in which the wife squeezes her thighs on the sides of the man’s face and holds on to his waist while hanging upside-down along his back. This leaves the man’s arms free to swing as he runs along the obstacle course featuring 2 timber hurdles and a chest-high water pool. The grand prize? The woman’s body-weight in beer! Your betting options are outlined here …
NET: http://www.centrebet.com/finnish-wife-carrying-championships.php

BS AMAZING FACT:
According to a study by the Smell & Taste Institute of Chicago, the scent of grapefruit on a middle-aged woman can make her seem as much as 6 years younger to a man.

AND WE QUOTE:
• “Are you really so arrogant as to believe we are alone in this universe?”  – “War of the Worlds” star Tom Cruise when asked by German tabloid “Bild” if he actually believes in aliens. (A better question would have been: “What kind of an alien are you, anyway?”)
• “Their haste shows. It plays like 32 short films about alien invasions.”  – Movie critic David Germain reviewing “War of the Worlds”, which was shot in just 72 days.

THE BULL SHEET 07.04.2K5

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1930 [75] George Steinbrenner, Rocky River OH, NY Yankees owner/shipping magnate

1943 [62] Geraldo Rivera, NYC, obnoxious TV journalist (FOX News)  FACTOID: In his autobiography “Exposing Myself”, he claims his affairs have included Bette Midler, Liza Minelli, Judy Collins, Chris Evert, Margaret Trudeau and about a thousand others.

1963 [42] Matt Malley, Berkeley CA, pop musician (Counting Crows-“Big Yellow Taxi”, “Mr Jones”)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
[Caribbean] “Caricom Day” (aka “Caribbean Day”)

TODAY is the “Independence Day” holiday in the USA. Among the more unusual “4th of July” festivals – the “International Cherry Pit Spitting Contest” in Eau Claire MI, the “World’s Greatest Lizard Race” in Lovington NM, and the annual “Sidewalk Egg-Frying Challenge” in Oatman AZ. It’s also the excuse for “Barbecue Day” and the vegan observance “Independence from Meat Day”.

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1970 [35] Casey Kasem hosts the debut of the syndicated radio show “American Top 40″

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1937 [68] 1st successful ‘Helicopter Flight’

1939 [66] NY Yankees ‘Retire’ 1st baseball uniform (Lou Gehrig’s #4)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1993 [12] Some 2,000 naked participants attend the “Nude Chili Cookoff” in Devore CA

COMING UP . . .
[Tues] Workaholics Day
[Wed] Fried Chicken Day
[Wed-July 31] 22nd Just For Laughs comedy festival (Montréal QC)
[Wed-July 14] Running of the Bulls (Pamplona SPA)
[Fri] “Dark Water” & “Fantastic Four” open in movie theaters
[Fri-July 17] Calgary Stampede
[Fri] Intern Appreciation Day

THIS WEEK IS . . .
Music For Life Week / Canned Luncheon Meat Week / Character Counts Week / Nude Recreation Week / Pleasure Week / Education Association Week / Unassisted Home Birth Week / Freedom from Fear of Speaking Week / Barbershop Quartet Week

BULL’S BITS . . .
WORST BS THINGS TO SAY TO YOUR FUTURE DAUGHTER-IN-LAW:
• “Just imagine, in 20 years he’ll look just like me!”
• “Maybe YOU can get him to brush his teeth every day.”
• “You look a little like the last girl he was engaged to.”
• “I like my eggs over-easy.”
• “Can I borrow a hundred bucks?”

BS PHONE STARTERS:
• At seemingly all the “Live 8″ concerts, artist after artist insisted on turning the microphone around to have the audience sing their hit song. Shouldn’t performers perform?
• It’s estimated that CTV made as much as $2 million on advertising during its “Live 8″ broadcast. Doesn’t it seem a tad smarmy to profit from a project aimed at ending poverty?

ALL-TIME TOP MOVIES IN DOMESTIC BOX OFFICE:
1. “Titanic” ($601 million) 1997
2. “Star Wars” ($461 million) 1977
3. “Shrek 2″ ($441 million) 2004
4. “ET: The Extra-Terrestrial” ($435 million) 1982
5. “Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace” ($431 million) 1999
(Now-showing “Star Wars” Episode III: Revenge of the Sith” is currently ranked 10th with $360 million.)
– Box Office Mojo

TRUTH OR BS?
• Doughnuts are now the #1 breakfast food. (BS. A survey on favorite breakfast foods finds cereal is most popular, preferred in 37% of households. Bread products and baked sweet goods like donuts are the choice of 28%.)
• Canadians are among the world’s most frequent online banking customers. (TRUE.)
• The ‘Caesar salad’ is named after Julius Caesar. (BS. It’s actually named after the chef who created it – Caesar Cardini, who first concocted it at Caesar’s Place Restaurant in Tijuana, Mexico.)
• Pound for pound, cooked locusts, termites, flies and beetle larvae have more protein than beef, chicken or milk. (TRUE. Good news for contestants on “Fear Factor”!)
• North American men with the last name ‘Short’ are on average 2.5 inches shorter than the norm. (TRUE. For the simple reason that family names were originally based on visible traits, many of which are hereditary. So if you last name is ‘Little’ …)

BS WEB GOODIE:
TODAY is “National Country Music Day”. Why beat your brain trying to write a country hit? You can instantly create clever lyrics for a new country song with a simple click of the mouse using the online ‘Country Song Machine’.
NET: http://www.outofservice.com/country

BS BLATANT JOKES:
• How many of you out there believe in telekinesis? Raise my hands …
• How many times do I have to flush before you go away?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: It’s the “Fourth of July”, a good time to note that just 30% of Americans own one of THESE.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: A valid US passport.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Earth first! We’ll strip-mine the other planets later.