Friday, July 5, 2002 Edition: #2334
Run With The Bull!
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
YESTERDAY shortly after midnight home-wrecker Julia Roberts wed boyfriend Danny Moder, the formerly married cameraman she met on the set of “The Mexican”, in a private ceremony in a white tent on the grounds of her Taos NM ranch (what date do you want in the ‘split-up’ pool?) . . . TODAY a private funeral will be held in Kentucky for singer/actress Rosemary Clooney who died SATURDAY at the age of 74 (George Clooney’s aunt) . . . 78-year-old “Price is Right” host Bob Barker will undergo prostate surgery NEXT WEEK in Washington DC (worn out?) . . . Aussie pop tart Kylie Minogue has canceled a planned American tour saying she’s not trying to become big star in US (well, she’s certainly been successful) . . . Not bad for a dead guy — he’s #1 here and the DJ remix of Elvis Presley’s ”A Little Less Conversation” is going into its 4TH WEEK atop UK pop charts (it will be added to the upcoming “Elvis 30 #1 Hits” CD collection due in SEPTEMBER) . . . Geezer rocker David Bowie has a new way of staying in shape — he’s taken up boxing . . . Ghoulish fans clamoring to stay in the Hard Rock Hotel room in Vegas where Who bassist John Entwistle died LAST WEEK are being turned down, in fact the room number is being kept under wraps . . . The surviving 2 members of TLC are back in the studio working on a 4th album with Kenneth Babyface Edmonds, including previously recorded tracks with the late ‘Left Eye’ Lopes . . . Alanis Morissette is suing the operators of the Website alanis.net, claiming the site sells various goods without her authorization (the site is now running a statement claiming she’s trying to steal the domain) . . . Actor Matthew McConaughey to the rescue, again — he apparently saved a man who was having a seizure during a press interview at NYC’s Regency Hotel by giving him mouth-to-mouth CPR (he did the same for a woman at LAST YEAR’S Toronto International Film Festival) . . . And “All My Children” star Mark Consuelos tells “Redbook” he’s promised wife and co-star Kelly Ripa (also co-host of “Regis & Kelly”) that he’ll buy her ‘big shiny ones’ if she has another baby, referring to — new breasts.
TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
The biggies opened in time for the 4th of July, so today’s sole opener is the wide release of the romantic comedy “Pumpkin”, starring Christina Ricci. It’s the story of a perky sorority member who falls in love with the coach of a team of mentally-challenged athletes.
21ST CENTURY JARGON:
• ‘Fauxhawk’ – the new version of the ‘Mohawk’ haircut involves molding hair up into a ridge that snakes down the center of the head. But unlike Robert De Niro’s famous ‘do in “Taxi Driver”, observers say today’s Mohawk is more about fashion than aggression.
• ‘Weblicate’ – a complete and exact online duplicate of a book, magazine, or other printed material.
• ‘Dance-apella’ — a dance performed without music, usually absent-mindedly or to burn off excess energy.
• ‘MBA’ — stands for ‘Married But Available’ as in: “He’s not only a lech, he’s an MBA!”
ASTROLOGY HAS GONE TO THE DOGS:
Laurie Birnsteel’s new book “Sunspot: The Best Ever Astrological Guide to Your Dog” claims your pooch’s personality is influenced by the zodiac. It’s based on the behavioral observations of more than 200 dog owners who answered the author’s detailed questionnaire. For example, a Virgo dog is typically shy and demure, yet very picky. A Cancer dog is purportedly moody, sensitive and intuitive.
DOING IT GREEK STYLE:
Harvard University professor Walter Willett claims a Greek diet, with plenty of fruit and vegetables all year round, and olive oil instead of butter and lard, is the best way to keep heart disease and a range of cancers at bay. His other recommendation – plenty of sex.
SHUT-EYE SCHED:
In her book “Permission to Nap: Taking Time to Restore Your Spirit”, author Jill Murphy Long says the ideal nap time is 8 hours after waking up in the morning and 8 hours before falling asleep at night. (Meaning, the next hour of this show is gonna feature 60 full minutes of music stopless.)
RICHMONDERS LIVE LONG & PROSPER:
According to new figures from StatsCan, people who live in the city live longer than those who live in rural or northern areas (that’s because it’s a shorter ambulance ride to the hospital when you suffer hypothermia while driving a tractor). And the study also shows the Canadians with the greatest life expectancy – an average of 81.2 years — is enjoyed by residents of Vancouver suburb Richmond BC, also home of the lowest smoking and obesity rates in the country. (But the Canadian municipality where you’re most likely to rust.)
TOO STUPID FOR US TO MAKE UP:
• A newspaper in New Zealand is planning to make some of its pages smell like chocolate. TUESDAY’S edition of “The Otago Daily Times” will be squirted with chocolate perfume to mark the opening of the ‘Cadbury World’ visitor centre. (It has already been successfully tested on a female employee who gobbled up all of last week’s classifieds.)
• British theater company Oddsocks Productions has changed the name its new production “The Hunchback of Notre Dame” to “The Bellringer of Notre Dame” — so as not to offend people who suffer from scoliosis. (Future productions include “Beauty and the Less-Than-Average-Looking Animal Creature”, and “The Height-Challenged Fish-Girl Hybrid”.)
• A ‘vomit tax’ has been given the go-ahead in northern Victoria, Australia. It will apply to licensed hotels in the Shepparton area which remain open between 3 and 6am. The tax, up to 11% of booze sales, will be used to pay for cleaning up after drunks who get sick in the street.
• NASCAR fans are flocking like pilgrims to a farm in Interlachen, Florida where a goat was recently born with a marking that looks exactly like the white number 3 that late driver Dale Earnhardt had on his race car. “Daytona Beach News Journal” reports the 4-month-old brown goat has been nicknamed ‘Lil’ Dale’. (Unconfirmed reports say his urine patterns look like Jesus.)
• Scottish newspaper ”The Independent” reports that a pair of Canadian otters at the National Sea Life Sanctuary in Oban, Scotland have been placed under 24-hour protection from aggressive local otters who are confused by the visitors’ — foreign accents’.
BS AMAZING FACT:
According to the consumer group, the Center For a New American Dream, it takes a kid an average of 9 NAGS to persuade a parent to buy something for them.
THE BULL SHEET 07.05.2K2
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1944 [58] Robbie Robertson, Toronto ON, rock musician (“Storyville”, The Band-“Music From Big Pink”)
1950 [52] Huey Lewis (Hugh Anthony Cregg III), San Francisco CA, oldies singer (& the News -“I Want a New Drug”, “The Power of Love”)/sometime actor (“Duets”, “Back to the Future”)
1963 [39] Edie Falco, Bronx NY, TV actress (Carmela Soprano-“The Sopranos” since 1999) NOTE: THIS SUMMER she’s starring in the Broadway play “Frankie and Johnny in the Clair de Lune”
1980 [22] Jason Wade, Camarillo CA, rock singer (Lifehouse-“Hanging by a Moment”)
SATURDAY’S BIRTHDAYS . . .
1921 [81] Nancy Reagan (Anne Frances Robbins Davis Reagan), NYC, former US First Lady/Mrs Ronald Reagan
1931 [71] Della Reese (Delloreese Patricia Early), Detroit MI, TV actress (Tess-“Touched By An Angel” since 1994)
1946 [56] George Walker Bush (aka ‘Dubya’, ‘George II’), New Haven CT, 43rd US President
1946 [56] Sylvester Stallone, NYC, film actor (“Rambo I-III”, “Rocky I-V”) who hasn’t had a hit movie since “Cliffhanger” in 1993
1948 [54] Peter Mansbridge, London ENG, TV journalist/anchor (CBC’s “The National” since 1988) who began working at the CBC in 1969/Mr Cynthia Dale/ex-Mr Wendy Mesley
1951 [51] Geoffrey Rush, Toowoomba AUS, movie actor (Oscar-“Shine”, “Shakespeare in Love”)
1990 [12] Jeremy Suarez, TV actor (Jordan-“The Bernie Mac Show”)
BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
TODAY is “Workaholics Day”, encouraging us to remove our noses from the grindstone once in a while. ‘Workaholics Anonymous’ says that if you answer ‘yes’ to 3 or more of the following you’re well on your way to becoming one:
• Is work the activity you like to do best and talk about most?
• Do you take work with you to bed? On weekends? On vacation?
• Do you work more than 40 hours a week?
• Do you turn your hobbies into money-making ventures?
• Have your family or friends given up expecting you on time?
• Do you believe that it is OK to work long hours if you love what you are doing?
• Do you get impatient with people who have other priorities besides work?
• Are you afraid that if you don’t work hard you will lose your job or be a failure?
• Is the future a constant worry for you even when things are going well?
• Do you think about your work while driving, falling asleep or when others are talking?
TODAY the world famous “Calgary Stampede” kicks off, the 10-day bash billed as ‘The Greatest Outdoor Show On Earth’ and home one of the richest rodeos, in which winning cowpokes get $50,000 in each event.
NET: http://www.calgary-stampede.com
TODAY a new US stamp honoring Harry Houdini is being unveiled at the Houdini Historical Center in the magician’s native Appleton, Wisconsin, which coincides with the 100th anniversary of the Society of American Magicians.
TODAY is the beginning of the 9-day “Fiesta de San Fermin” in Pamplona, Spain, famous for the daily ‘Running of the Bulls’ (followed by ‘the driving of the ambulances’ and ‘the carrying of the caskets’). The annual festival was made legendary by Ernest Hemingway in his book “The Sun Also Rises”. (Was San Fermin the patron saint of fools?)
2 YEARS AGO . . .
2000 “Big Brother” premieres on CBS-TV and proceeds to underwhelm viewers (WEDNESDAY “Big Brother” returns for a 3rd season, even though the US version has never caught on like those in Britain and elsewhere. In an attempt to generate interest in “Big Brother 3″, CBS-TV has started a ‘Big Brother Fantasy League’ in which players can pick a 4-person team of ‘house guests’ and score points like in sports fantasy leagues.)
TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1607 [395] Britain’s national anthem “God Save the King” (Queen) 1st sung in public
1841 [161] Thomas Cook opens 1st ‘travel agency’
1865 [137] William Booth forms the ‘Salvation Army’, in London ENG (creating a future source for [your co-host’s] wardrobe)
1946 [56] ‘Bikini’ swimsuit design 1st shown in public at Paris press conference by designer Louis Reard who calls it “four triangles of nothing” (named after a tiny Pacific atoll where early atomic bomb tests were performed)
TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1983 [19] Opera star Placido Domingo receives a record 83 curtain calls
AND REMEMBER . . .
[Sat] 7th annual Redneck Games (Dublin GA)
[Sat] Fried Chicken Day
[Sun] Father-Daughter Take a Walk Together Day
[Mon] Nude Recreation Week begins
[Mon] Video Games Day
[Tues] MLB All-Star Game
[Tues] National Blonde Day
[Tues] Intern Appreciation Day
Be Nice to New Jersey Week
Hot Dog Month
BULL’S BITS . . .
BS LEAST EFFECTIVE BEACH PICK-UP LINES:
• “Anyone for naked volleyball?”
• “Are my water wings a turn-off?”
• “I just grabbed a sno-cone at the snack bar. Do I have to wait 20 minutes before I can have sex?”
• “Can I take some shots of you in your bikini to show my parole officer?”
• “Have they invented bologna-scented sunscreen or is that just you?”
• “I’m sure I’ve got a tattoo of your name on me somewhere.”
• “Can you apply some SPF 15 to my itchy skin rash?”
• “I wouldn’t mind giving YOU a little CPR, if you know what I mean.”
• “I can’t get over how real those look!”
BS FACT OR CRAP?
Two of the following are facts, the other total BS. But which?
GAME #1 —
1. Madonna once auditioned for a part in the TV series “Fame”.
2. Moby once posed for a CD cover photo sitting nude on a child’s training toilet. (BS)
3. Michael Jackson once applied to NASA to film a video in outer space.
GAME #2 –
1. Before fame, Whoopi Goldberg was a funeral home cosmetician.
2. Before fame, Jonathan Davis of Korn was an assistant coroner.
3. Before fame, George Clooney was an embalmer. (BS)
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: 87% of employees say that they’ve done this at work, and not even felt guilty about it. Well okay, maybe a little.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Taken credit for someone else’s work.
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was.
