Monday, July 7, 2008 Edition: #3813
It’s Another Running Of the Bull!
WEEKEND BLOG BS:
• Rob Shuter, the new Executive Editor of the US edition of “OK! Magazine” has quite the résumé. While representing Jessica Simpson, the former publicist told gossip mags she was ‘head over heels in love’ with John Mayer, which Simpson refuted on TV … then fired him. Before that, he made up a story about a former love-rival attacking his client Paris Hilton. Paris was not amused when the woman in question sued for $10 million. (BTW, “OK! Magazine’s” slogan is: ‘OK! brings you the truth and the inside scoop about celebrities.’)
– PopBitch.com
• The call girl involved in a scandal that brought down New York’s former governor, Ashley Dupre, has voluntarily dismissed her $10-million federal lawsuit claiming that “Girls Gone Wild” founder Joe Francis exploited her image and name online. (These two should have a ‘sleaze-off’ on reality TV.)
– “eTalk Daily”
• The battle of the former “Beverly Hills 90210“ cast continues. Just as Shannen Doherty (‘Brenda Walsh’) has stepped up to the plate for the upcoming remake series on the CW, Tori Spelling (‘Donna Martin’) has backed out, citing ‘personal reasons’. (Which likely involve a clause in Doherty’s contract saying she refuses to work with the husband-stealing innkeeper.)
– Dose.ca
• A former accountant for Rachael Ray’s TV show has filed a $1-million lawsuit claiming he was forced out of his job because … he has an eating disorder. Aaron Ferguson says has suffered from anorexia for about 6 years and his former employer repeatedly exhibited ‘hostile behavior’ and made ‘vile’ and hurtful comments. (“What do you mean you won’t eat this? I spent an entire 30 minutes making it!”)
– AP
• Canadian crooner Michael Bublé hasn’t been seen with his British actress-GF Emily Blunt (“The Devil Wears Prada”) in ages. Though there’s been no official announcement, word is … it’s done. And been done a long time. Which is perhaps why reports say he’s been brazenly chatting up the femme fans wherever he goes. (Make sure you check ID, dude.)
– LaineyGossip.com
• The quickest way to dispel divorce rumors? Replace them with belly-bump rumors! Actress Jennifer Garner has been spotted out on the town suspiciously hugging a shopping bag in front of her inflated-looking belly. Perhaps relations with hubby Ben Affleck are okay after all? (Madonna, you should be taking notes.)
– X17online.com
• Rocker Lenny Kravitz is vehemently denying that Cynthia Rodriguez, wife of NY Yankees star Alex Rodriguez (aka ‘A-Rod’), has left the baseball star to hook up with him. While Kravitz says there’s absolutely no affair going on, he does confirm Mrs Rod stayed with him for several days in Paris where he’s currently touring but only ‘to escape everything happening in New York City’. (Which might include a fling between a certain baseball star and an aging pop singer rumored to be splitting with her Brit husband?)
– PerezHilton.com
• It’s not due in theaters until OCTOBER 24th, but “People” magazine already has details on the bigscreen spinoff of Disney Channel’s mega-successful “High School Musical”. It’s titled “High School Musical 3: Senior Year” and the first stills released from the movie show ‘Gabriella’ (Vanessa Hudgens) & ‘Troy’ (Zac Efron) celebrating at their graduation prom. (So the good news for “HSM”-saturated parents is, as of THIS FALL, school’s out … forever!)
– People.com
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “The Bachelorette: Finalé” (ABC/CityTV) – After wading through a pool of 25 eligible young suitors, DeAnna finally accepts a proposal that will change her life forever by presenting the winner with a single red rose.
• “Canadian Idol” (CTV) – Group 1 from the final 16 performs onstage.
• “The Daily Show With Jon Stewart” (CTV) – Coldplay performs 2 songs from “Viva La Vida”.
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CityTV) – ‘70s-‘80s rockers Heart are a guest.
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS) – Kid Rock performs.
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Chumbawamba – The Brit band’s hit “Tubthumping” was all over the radio in 1997. Where are they now? Members of the group have written and are currently starring in a musical called “Where’s Vietnam?”, about 1960s hippies in Leeds, England.
• Elvis Costello – Elton John, Tony Bennett, Lou Reed, and former US president Bill Clinton are among the heavy hitters who’ve already taped guest appearances for his new variety show, “Spectacle: Elvis Costello with…”. The series, a co-production of Canada’s CTV and Britain’s Channel 4 will also air on the Sundance Channel in the US. The sked is yet to be announced.
• Eminem – He’s being sued by a Royal Oak MI man who claims the rapper punched him while they were in the men’s room of a Detroit strip club … 2 years ago. The alleged victim is seeking more than $25,000 in damages.
• Keith Urban – He’ll add his current hit “You Look Good in My Shirt” to a repackaging of his greatest hits album, which will now be titled “19 Kids” rather than “18 Kids”. The updated album will be available beginning AUGUST 19th.
• Shakira – Her expected long-term deal with concert promoter Live Nation has been completed. It gives the company rights to all her music-related projects, including new albums, tours, merchandise, websites and films, in return for a reported $70 million-to-$100 million.
• Sheryl Crow – She’s finished recording an as-yet-untitled holiday album to be released in Hallmark Gold Crown stores this SEPTEMBER. (Yep, this is when you record Christmas songs … in the heat of summer.)
PINK WINE:
Following fast on the heels of the Spanish wine ‘Mundo Gay’ comes France’s first gay wine, ‘Tendre Bulle Gay Vin’ (Tender Bubbles Gay Wine), launched by winemaker Domaine de Boyer. It is a sparkling rosé … of course! (Word is, it has a fruity bouquet.)
– “Decanter Magazine”
HERE’S LOOKING AT YOU, KID:
After more than a thousand experiments, scientists at Freiburg University Hospital in Germany have concluded that we may have a ‘sixth sense’ that we’re being stared at. Dr Stefan Schmidt admits the effects are small but there is evidence that people feel a ‘prickling’ sensation when someone unseen is staring at them. (His next study will determine if your ears really do get a burning sensation when someone’s talking about you.)
– “British Journal of Psychology”
THE JAMES BROWN COLLECTION:
Christie’s auction house will put some 400 of late soul legend James Brown’s personal items up for sale JULY 17th. Amongst the booty: a lock of his (greasy) hair; a Mercedes Benz; musical instruments; hand-written lyrics; awards, including a 1986 Grammy for “Living In America”; grooming artifacts, such as rollers, picks, and hair products; as well as stage costumes such as rhinestone-encrusted belts, jumpsuits, and 78 pairs of shoes & boots. Proceeds will help pay mounting legal bills and overdue tax debts run up by the executors of his estate. (By the time this is all over, there won’t be anything left for his family to fight over.)
NET: http://tinyurl.com/567qd9
– ABC News
FREE DOWNLOADS … PRICELESS:
MasterCard has launched a new ad campaign dubbed “Roots of Rock” that offers cardholders free downloads from the entire Universal Music catalogue … at least until a total of 100,000 tunes have been scooped. After that, they’ll be priced at 80 cents-a-track. The promotion also includes an online sweepstakes in which 5 winners get a backstage meet-and-greet with either Jon Bon Jovi, Eric Clapton, or Kenny Chesney. (If you pick 63-year-old Clapton, it has to be before his 10 am bedtime.)
NET: http://www.priceless.com
– “Billboard Magazine”
DID YOU KNOW?
• According to Statistics Canada, the average number of paid vacation days available to Canadians is 14. But the average number of paid vacation days Canadians actually take is just 11. That unused vacation time – about 41 million days – results in $6.3 billion in wages returned to employers.
– “Toronto Star”
• Despite reports of the demise of the tie industry, sales in Britain have increased by over 10% in the last 3 months. Why? Workers who fear they might get axed are sharpening up their office appearance, while those who’ve already lost their jobs are now tie-ing up for job interviews.
– “Daily Telegraph”
• 18-to 49-year-olds in the USA are 35% more likely to watch the Cartoon Network than CNN.
– MotherJones.com
• Vapors from gas stations in California account for enough gasoline to fill 2 tanker trucks every day.
– DiscoverMagazine.com
AND WE QUOTE:
“I remember Robert Plant saying Led Zeppelin were a covers band now because they cover all their own stuff. I think that hit the nail on the head.”
– Bjorn Ulvaeus, telling “Sunday Telegraph” why his uber-popular ‘70s-‘80s group ABBA will NEVER perform on stage again. (Thanks to the musical “Mamma Mia!”, they don’t need to.)
THE BULL SHEET 07.07.08
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1940 [68] Ringo Starr (Richard Starkey), Liverpool UK, rock drummer/bad singer (“Photograph”, The Beatles-“Act Naturally”) who’s still touring as the Ringo Starr All Starr Band (includes Billy Squier, Colin Hay, Edgar Winter, and Gary Wright)
1968 [40] Jorja Fox, NYC, TV actress (‘Sara Sidle’ on “CSI: Crime Scene Investigation” 2000-07 and will make at least 1 guest appearance THIS FALL, “ER” 1996-99) FACTOID: She’s the youngest child of Montréal-born parents but was raised in Melbourne Beach FL.
TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Caricom Day” (aka Caribbean Day), celebrating the Caribbean Community, an association of 20 nations and dependencies, whose main purposes are to promote cooperation, coordinate foreign policy, and promote economic integration. (Love to be a fly on the wall in these meetings … “Man, chill out. Have another rum punch and we’ll maybe work out the details manana.”)
• “Doghouse Repairs Month”, a time for all who are doomed for the doghouse to make amends and minimize their stay. This exciting occasion is the brainchild of a florist, who no doubt hopes part of the process of ‘getting out of the doghouse’ involves sending an overpriced bouquet.
• “Father-Daughter Take a Walk Together Day”. If she’s a teenager, good luck! Like are you tryin’ to embarrass her or what?
• “World UFO Day”, which seeks to get governments to ‘fess up to the existence of UFOs. Many believe that aliens from outer space have already visited and a government cover-up is hiding the facts from the public. The date for this special day was chosen because it’s the 1947 date of the recovery of supposedly alien materials from the so-called ‘Roswell Incident’ in New Mexico.
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2006 [02] “Pirates Of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest” opens in movie theaters (the 2nd film in the franchise eventually rockets to #3 all-time box office worldwide, at just over $1 billion)
2007 [01] The much-ballyhooed wedding of 32-year-old “Desperate Housewives” actress Eva Longoria & 25-year-old French-born NBA star Tony Parker at a ceremony in a 17th-century chateau near Paris (photo rights are sold for a reported $2 million)
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1998 [10] Barenaked Ladies release “Stunt” album, featuring the #1 hit “One Week”
2007 [01] “Live Earth: Concerts For a Climate In Crisis” take place in 11 locations on all 7 continents, featuring performances by over 150 musical acts (which emit like 7 trillion tons of carbon into the atmosphere)
TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1891 [117] A patent is granted for the ‘Traveler’s Cheque’ (about to become obsolete due to the popularity of bank cards?)
1969 [39] Canada’s ‘Official Languages Act’ is passed, making French equal to English in the eyes of the government (the reason it now says ‘Flocons de Mais’ on one side of your box of Corn Flakes)
COMING UP . . .
[Tues] Video Games Day
[Wed] Intern Appreciation Day
[Wed] Barn Day
[Thurs] 26th Just For Laughs Comedy Festival begins (Montréal)
[Thurs] Don’t Step on a Bee Day
[Thurs] Orangemen’s Day
[Fri] Cheer Up the Lonely Day
[Fri] Pet Photo Day
[Fri] UN World Population Day
[Fri] International Town Criers Day
THIS WEEK IS . . .
Freedom Week / International Chicken Wing Week / Mosquito Week / Nude Recreation Week / Therapeutic Recreation Week / Special Recognition Week
BULL’S BITS
BEST OF BS:
A highlight bit culled from 15 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
BS SIGNS IT’S TIME YOU MOWED YOUR LAWN:
• You have to attach an orange antenna flag to your kid before she plays outside.
• Your pink lawn flamingo was recently taken down by hungry jackals.
• Taking out the garbage requires a machete and a 4-day supply of water.
• Suddenly your yard is THE hot spot to watch bison do it.
• The last time it was cut, the neighbor kid did it for 5 bucks. Today, his son wants a hundred.
• Your ABOVE-ground pool is now an IN-ground pool.
BS RANDOM JOKE:
So this amnesiac walks up to a hot-looking lady in a bar and says, “Do I come here often?”
WOULD YOU RATHER?
You run down the list while your guest/phone caller/crew member decides which choice is more palatable. Would you rather …
• Be one of 10 engineers who designed a bridge that collapses, resulting in 100 fatalities -OR- be the only engineer of a bridge that collapses, resulting in 1 fatality?
• On a first date, wear a T-shirt that says, “I’m With Stupid” -OR- wear a T-shirt that says, “Who Cut the Cheese?”
• Make a complete public idiot out of yourself for one night -OR- do 50 stupid things all year that only you know about?
• Always have to wear wet socks -OR- always have to wear wet underwear?
• As a man, have your grandmother’s first name -OR- have her haircut?
• Eat a bucket full of apple stems -OR- eat 20 banana peels?
• In a sudden huge thunderstorm be caught 15 miles out-to-sea on a jet-ski -OR- be caught 1 mile out on a windsurfer?
• As a man, be 50 lbs overweight -OR- be 50 lbs underweight?
• Be paid $250,000 immediately -OR- be paid $20,000-a-year for the rest of your life?
• If shrunk to the size of a thimble, have to run across the playing area of a pinball machine during a game -OR- across an air-hockey table during a game?
– zobmondo.com
BS INTERVIEW:
A recently introduced service called MyGallons allows drivers to fill up their tanks sometime in the future … at current prices. Users make their pre-purchase using a debit-like card which banks gallons rather than dollars. So how’s this work without someone losing money? And what guarantee do you have that a service station will honor a ‘MyGallons Card’?
NET: http://mygallons.com
PHONER: 561-386-8064 (Greg Salsburg, Stir Communications, West Palm Beach FL)
BS PHONE STARTER:
If you had to spend the next 2 years inside a small but fully provisioned Antarctic shelter with one other person, whom would you like to have with you?
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: There are lots of alternatives in today’s hi-tech world, but 52% of us still choose to do THIS old school.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Pay bills, by writing cheques.
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
To every exception there is a rule.
LOOK WHO’S BS-ING NOW!
A big moo-out to new annual “Bull Sheet” subscriber Al Smith @ 93.9 BOB FM [CKKL] Ottawa ON; and Chris Kuchar @ All Hit KBS [CJAT] Trail BC, back for another 3 months; and welcome to samplers that this week include Dave Michaels @ Big West Country [CIBW] Drayton Valley AB; Sean Craig @ The Giant Of the Blue River Valley, WSVX Shelbyville IN; Becky Dakin @ Crystal FM, Dorset UK; Alyssa Purcell @ WBLF State College PA; Levi White @ KTAN Sierra Vista AZ; and Clarise John @ Latino 96.3 [KXOL] Los Angeles CA. Welcome all!
