Thursday, July 26, 2007        Edition: #3583
More From the Sheethouse!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
WGN Superstation has just purchased the US rights to all 4 seasons of CTV’s “Corner Gas” (meaning Brent Butt should be good for a round if you ever see him in a club) . . . Under California law, 21-year-old soon-to-be-former actress Lindsay Lohan is facing a mandatory jail sentence of 4 days minimum for her 2nd DUI charge (Paris-style PR) . . . Meanwhile, Lohan’s estranged father Michael has been ordered to stay away from her or risk violating the terms of his parole (like it’s all his fault) . . . Jay-Z is rumored to be leaving his position as president/CEO of Def Jam and is alleged to be in negotiations with Columbia Records, home of girlfriend Beyoncé (he’s PO-ed about the recent hiring of Jermaine Dupri as ‘Head of Urban Music’) . . . CBS-TV has canceled Mark Burnett’s low-rated treasure hunt series “Pirate Master” and will stream the 5 remaining episodes on the network’s website (the new ‘shelf’) . . . Just as he’s about to break the career home-run record, MLB slugger Barry Bonds’ former mistress, 37-year-old Kimberly Bell, has signed for a “Playboy” pictorial & interview to appear in the NOVEMBER edition (her body will be enhanced also) . . . Donald Trump’s next book will be titled “Think Big & Kick Butt – in Business & Life” (catchy!) . . . Meantime, NBC-TV says his just-announced upcoming celebrity version of “The Apprentice” will feature stars competing to raise money for various charities, however no cast has yet been revealed (Gary Coleman’s phone has been busy?) . . . The upcoming 12th season of “The Amazing Race” (CBS/CTV) will feature younger teams and no more of those annoying ‘non-elimination legs’ whereby losers get a reprieve (translation: there won’t be a token cotton-head team this time) . . . And as yet another example of her ‘epiphany’, Paris Hilton has let it b known she’s traded her gas-guzzling Range Rover SUV for a Ford hybrid (what you don’t hear is it’s because she was given a free one).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• ABBA – Former guitarist Lasse Wellander isn’t happy that 2 of the group’s biggest hits are being dropped from the upcoming movie version of “Mamma Mia!”. Director Phyllida Lloyd apparently isn’t a fan of “I Do, I Do, I Do, I Do, I Do” or “Knowing Me Knowing You”. THIS OCTOBER, 1977’s “Abba – The Album” will be reissued as a special 2-disc package to celebrate its 30th anniversary.
• Avril Lavigne – TONIGHT she’ll explain again how she writes all her own material on “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC).
• Britney Spears – Reports say she’s ponied up $8 million to purchase actor Ray Liotta’s 5-bedroom Pacific Palisades mansion. Her Beverly Hills estate went on the market following her split from K-Fed. Meantime, her silver SUV and the umbrella she used to attack paparazzi earlier this year have been put up for sale as a package on eBay, starting at $25,000.
• Coldplay – Their new album will feature an Hispanic flavor, reflecting on both Barcelona, Spain where they’re recording, and recent visits to Argentina, Brazil, Chile, and Mexico.
• Hanson – TONIGHT the boy-band-turned-wannabe rock act is on “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” (CBS).
• John Mellencamp – THIS AFTERNOON he guests on the “Ellen DeGeneres Show (syndicated/CityTV).
• Joni Mitchell – She’s joined Paul McCartney on the roster of Starbucks’ Hear Music label, which will release her new album “Shine” SEPTEMBER 25th.
• Johnny Cash – He’s being honored at a festival in Starkville, Mississippi in NOVEMBER and local fans are hoping to mark the occasion by having his 1965 conviction for public drunkenness pardoned.
• Lily Allen – The British pop singer (“Smile”) claims spending just one night out with Courtney Love almost drove her to rehab.
• Prince – Michael Jackson has reportedly asked him for help staging a career comeback and he advised a series of acoustic shows in Las Vegas. No gimmicks, no costume changes, no smoke or mirrors, just MJ’s voice to prove he’s still a great talent.
• Satellite Party – TONIGHT they play the “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel).
• TI – TONIGHT the Atlanta rapper does “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV).
• Yeah Yeah Yeahs – TONIGHT the NYC rockers perform on “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS).

COMING ATTRACTIONS:
A BS sampler of movies in the making …
• “Allah Made Me Funny: The Official Muslim Comedy Tour” – Comic Dave Chappelle is producing this documentary that will introduce the ‘world’s funniest Muslims’. Among them are stand-up comedians Preacher Moss, Azhar Usman, and Mohammed Amer.
• “Edwin A Salt” – Tom Cruise is considering starring in this upcoming action pic as a CIA agent who gets fingered by a defector as a sleeper spy. The wrongly accused has to scramble to avoid capture while trying to prove his innocence. Haven’t the ‘Jason Bourne’ films kind of covered this territory?
• “The Green Hornet “ – Vancouver actor Seth Rogen (“Knocked Up”) will star in this film adaptation of the 1960s comic book, film, and TV show. He reportedly landed the role of millionaire publisher/crime-fighter ‘Brit Reid’ after the likes of George Clooney, Mark Wahlberg, and Jake Gyllenhaal turned it down.
• “Guerrilla” – Actor Benicio del Toro and director Steven Soderbergh are working together for the first time since “Traffic” in this bio-film about legendary revolutionary ‘Che Guevara’. The project is being shot in Spain, and entirely in Spanish. It’s due in theaters in 2008.
• “Surfer Dude” – Matthew McConaughey may look like a natural wave rider but to get ready for his role as ‘a soul searching surfer experiencing an existential crisis’ he’s been taking surfing lessons in Malibu accompanied by a coach in a kayak. Willie Nelson has a small role as ‘Farmer Bob’. The film’s scheduled to debut in ‘08.

NO MORE COUNTING CALORIES?
Foods that fill you up without packing a ton of calories can help in the battle of the bulge, a new Pennsylvania State University study suggests. Guessing that one of the reasons people don’t stick to a weight-loss diet is hunger, researchers put a group of participants on a diet of filling, low calorie-dense foods, particularly fruits and vegetables, and basically let them eat as much as they wanted. After 12 months, the sample group lost more weight and reported being less hungry than did those who simply reduced fat intake. (Wow, pound cake is now a diet food.)
– Reuters

WAITING ON THE WIFE:
A new survey of 2,000 men finds that those in relationships spend almost a year of their lives waiting for their partners. The average guy spends 22 weeks alone waiting outside changing rooms while his woman tries on clothes. 60% of men say all the waiting drives them crazy; 10% say it’s made them so annoyed they’ve dumped a partner. (All this waiting for women is counterbalanced by what? Men and their machines? Guys and their golf? Boys and their beer?)
– “GQ”

CRAZIEST POP STARS EVER:
A ranking of the all-time most drug-addled, tantrum-throwing, Thorazine-gulping, and/or just plain mad music maestros …
5. Sly Stone (Sly & The Family Stone): Once flew to London from Rotterdam 10 minutes before a concert, claiming he was going shopping and would be back in time for the show.
4. Whitney Houston: Booted from the 2000 Academy Awards for playing an imaginary piano.
3. Axl Rose: Bought a Hollywood Hills estate in 1990 and had 2 elephants delivered by helicopter, then never moved in.
2. Brian Wilson (Beach Boys): Terrified of water, he stopped bathing. Then he spent 3 years in bed convinced that Phil Spector was coming to shoot him. Wait, maybe that’s not so crazy.
1. Michael Jackson: Doesn’t have a nose left, let alone money. What spectacular madness turns $750 million in assets to $180 million in debt? The undisputed skin-whitening, baby-dangling, kiddie-cuddling all-time wacko of pop.
– “Blender Magazine”

YOU GO GIRLFRIENDS:
According to the “2007 National Leisure Travel Monitor”, 61% of leisure travelers are couples and 31% are families with children. But the trend of multi-female or multi-male getaways is growing. That’s why travel expert Marybeth Bond has written the new book “50 Best Girlfriends Getaways in North America”. Among her recommendations for ‘Girls Who Just Wanna Have Fun’: San Francisco, Miami, Quebec City, NYC, and New Orleans. Her ‘Adventure Escapes’ include Colorado, Maine, and the Canadian Rockies. And her ‘Best Places to Heal When You’ve Been Dumped’ are San Miguel de Allende, Mexico and Hershey, Pennsylvania, where you can tour the chocolate factory and even enjoy a sumptuous chocolate bath.
– “Minneapolis Star Tribune”

FROM THE BS POLL VAULT:
A statistical breakdown of life by the numbers …
• 66% of people in relationships would rather their partner was funnier or smarter than better looking.
• 62% of parents say it’s easier to come up with a name for a baby girl than a baby boy.
• 33% of new brides expect to fall in bed & go to sleep on the first night of their honeymoon.
• 25% of us admit to writing ‘WASH ME’ on someone else’s vehicle.
• 24% of off-the-cuff jokes in the workplace make fun of a co-worker’s age.
• 4% of companies have a policy banning employees from dating someone from the competition.

CASH COW:
British pop singer George Michael has bought a dead cow wrapped around a pole for $7 million. Michael and his partner, Kenny Goss, are big fans of controversial British artist Damien Hirst and have forked out big bucks for his artwork entitled “Saint Sebastian, Exquisite Pain”. The installation features the body of a black calf pierced by dozens of arrows and attached with cable to a steel post, set in a tank of formaldehyde. (Is this PETA approved?)
– “Bang Show Biz”

DID YOU KNOW?
We are about 1 centimeter taller in the morning than we are in the evening. During the day, you lose that centimeter when activity and gravity combine to compress the spine.
– AskMen.com
• Researchers say most Americans will probably gain 10-to-20 lbs within the next 10 years if they continue their current exercise and eating habits. In fact, the average American gains 1-to-2 lbs a year throughout much of adulthood.
– “Cosmopolitan

HE SAID IT:
“There was a time where the hip-hop battle was cool, ‘cause it was lyrical or whatever. But now its stale, people use it as a gimmick.”
– Chamillionaire, telling AllHipHop.com why he refuses to respond to taunts from 50 Cent.

BS CHRONOMETER 07.26.07

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1943 [64] Sir Mick (Michael Philip) Jagger, Dartford UK, Rolling Stones wrinkle rocker/ex-Mr Jerry Hall/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (1989)  FACTOID: Keith Richards was born at the same hospital about 5 months later.

1945 [62] Helen Mirren (Ilyena Lydia Mironoff), London UK, movie actress (2006 Academy Award-“The Queen”)/TV actress (2006 Emmy Award-“Elizabeth I”)

1959 [48] Kevin Spacey (Fowler), South Orange NJ, movie actor (Oscars-“American Beauty”, “The Usual Suspects”)/Artistic Director of London’s Old Vic Theatre since 2003  COMING UP: Reprises his role as ‘Caped Crusader’ nemesis ‘Lex Luthor’ in the sequel “Superman: Man of Steel”, due in 2009.

1964 [43] Sandra Bullock, Arlington VA, movie actress (“Premonition”, “Miss Congeniality”) who wed “Monster Garage” producer/host Jesse James in 2005

1965 [42] Jeremy Piven, NYC, TV actor (2006 Emmy Award-‘Ari Gold’ on “Entourage” since 2004)/movie actor (“Smokin’ Aces”)

1973 [34] Kate Beckinsale, London UK, movie actress (“Click”, “The Aviator”)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “All or Nothing Day”. This is it, folks – balls to the wall, give ‘er all you’ve got, the time has arrived, take no prisoners, it’s now or never, bring your ‘A’ game and give 110% … and any other hackneyed self-help cliché you can think of.

• “Aunt & Uncle Day”, honoring the special contributions they make to our lives (or maybe Hallmark has just run out of ideas?).

• “Collingwood Elvis Festival” through Sunday in Collingwood ON includes street dances, an Elvis parade & swap sessions. More than 60,000 fans are expected, many dressed like ‘The King’. It culminates with the grand final of the ‘World’s Largest Elvis Tribute Artist Competition’.
PHONER: 705.444.0123 / 416.907.0879 (Media Office)
NET: http://www.collingwoodelvisfestival.com

• “Day of St Anne”, honoring the patron saint of homemakers and miners (she’s also one of the patron saints of Canada so if you combine all of those, you should celebrate by cleaning the maple syrup out of your nose).

• “Just For Laughs Toronto”, a 3-night spinoff of the 25-year Montréal comedy festival that includes galas hosted by Howie Mandel, Lewis Black, and Craig Ferguson. There will also be free performances outdoors featuring musicians, visual artists, buskers, and street performers. If successful, the plan is to bring back the fledgling event in the future.
NET: http://www.hahaha.com/toronto/

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
2000 [07] A court orders the largest Internet file-sharing service, Napster, to stop allowing millions of users to swap copyrighted music (party poopers!)

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1958 [49] 1st ‘Hula Hoop’ is marketed (the hot new toy is banned in Tokyo, Japan for a time due to the large number of traffic accidents it causes)

1982 [25] 1st Canadian “Miss Universe” (Karen Baldwin of London ON)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1955 [52] Ted Allen throws a record 72 consecutive horseshoe ringers

COMING UP . . .
[Fri] Take Your Houseplants For a Walk Day
[Fri] “I Know Who Killed Me”; “No Reservations”; “The Simpsons Movie”; and “Who’s Your Caddy?” open in movie theaters
[Sat] Accountants Day
[Sat] Drive-Thru Day
[Sun] Lasagna Day
[Sun] Full Moon of July (Buck Moon)
[Mon] Arnold Schwarzenegger turns 60
This Week Is … Animal Agriculture Week
This Month Is … Baked Bean Month

BULL’S BITS

NEVER USED IN THE TITLES OF REMOTELY GOOD MOVIES:
• ‘Heat’
• ‘Final’
• ‘Ninja’
• ‘Son of … ‘
• ‘Universe’
• ‘Dino … ‘
• ‘Ice’
• ‘Force’
• ‘Troll’
• ‘ … : The Movie’
– “Mountain Man Dance Moves”

BS PHONE STARTER:
There are plans to introduce legislation in New York that would prohibit the use of iPods and cellphones while crossing the street or otherwise stepping into traffic. Good idea or bad?

BS ‘BEFORE THEY WERE STARS’ QUIZ:
• As a teenager, movie actor Matt Damon earned extra money as a sidewalk …
a) Break-dancer. [CORRECT]
b) Mime.
c) Pickpocket.

• Before fame, “Star Trek’s” original ‘Captain Kirk’, William Shatner, made a living selling …
a) Used Furniture. [CORRECT]
b) Outdoor advertising for ‘Priceboard’.
c) Weed.

• Singer Jon Bon Jovi once worked in a …
a) Burger King [CORRECT]
b) Hair salon.
c) Massage parlor.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: THIS happens to some 58,500 cellphones in North America each year.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: They’re eaten by pets.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Have no fear of perfection … you’ll never reach it.