Wednesday, July 31, 2024 — Edition: #7766
The BS Press!
BS SUBSCRIBER NOTE:
The Bull Sheet is headed off for its annual summer holiday next week, and will not be publishing Monday, August 5 through Friday, August 9. All subscribers will receive credit for the non-service days. The Bull Sheet will resume publication on Monday August 12.
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Taylor Swift is speaking out following a horrific stabbing attack that took place at a children’s Swift-themed dance workshop in England, which left 3 children dead and 8 people critically injured. Swift wrote on social media: “I’m just completely in shock. The loss of life and innocence, and the horrendous trauma inflicted on everyone who was there, the families, and first responders.” She continued, “These were just little kids at a dance class. I am at a complete loss for how to ever convey my sympathies to these families.” Police have confirmed that 3 children, girls aged 6, 7 and 9, died from their injuries in the hours following the July 29 attack, while 5 children and 2 adults were in critical condition.
-E!
★ Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt’s son Pax Jolie-Pitt was rushed to hospital after sustaining a head injury in a harrowing crash in Los Angeles on Monday. The 20-year-old was driving an electric bike down Los Feliz Boulevard around 5pm, when he crashed into the back of a car, police said. He reportedly was not wearing a helmet at the time of the crash. He was transported to hospital after complaining of a head injury and hip pain, and was last reported to be in stable condition. He was expected to be released from hospital, although the full extent of his injuries is unclear.
-PageSix
★ ABC is going to have to dig deep to find a host for the Oscars after Jimmy Kimmel and John Mulaney have both passed on the gig. Kimmel, who has hosted the past 2 years, made the decision a while ago, prior to his traditional summer hiatus from “Jimmy Kimmel Live!” It has also been reported that Mulaney was waiting for Kimmel to officially pass before making a decision — which turned out to be “No”. The Oscars are set for March 2.
-Deadline
★ Josh Hartnett says that stalking incidents drove him to leave Hollywood. After surging to fame with “The Virgin Suicides” and “Pearl Harbor” 25 years ago, he took a step back from the spotlight at the height of his career. Hartnett told The Guardian that although he has previously said that he scaled back to focus on his personal life, another factor was “People’s attention to me at the time,” which he called borderline unhealthy.” Hartnett said there were incidents where people showed up at his house and were stalking him, and someone even showed up at a movie premiere with a gun, claiming to be his father. The “Trap” star said: “He ended up in prison.”
-E!
★ Pauly Shore is still working to make a Richard Simmons biopic happen — even though the beloved fitness guru passed away July 13. The actor-comedian was asked by a paparazzi at LAX about his pet project, which he’s been trying to put together for years. Shore said the biopic, which he plans to star in, is still moving forward despite Simmons’ death, although there has been a holdup in terms of financing.
-TMZ
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Kathryn Hahn guest hosts, Adam Scott, Mia Goth, Faye Webster (R)
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Gov. Gretchen Whitmer, Martha Stewart (R)
• “After Midnight” (CBS/Global): Bassem Youssef, Jay Jurden, Todd Barry (R)
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Rob Delaney, Liza Colón-Zayas
• “The Daily Show” (COM): TBA
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Magicians Peter Brynolf and Jonas Ljung.
• “The Talk” (CBS): Gary Cole, Sean Murray, Rocky Carroll and Vanessa Lachey celebrate NCIS’ 1000th episode. (R)
• “Live with Kelly and Mark” (ABC/CTV): Dylan Sprouse
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (Check local listings): Julianne Moore, Billy Gardell, Morgxn (R)
• “The Drew Barrymore Show” (Check local listings): Annette Bening (R)
• “Jennifer Hudson Show” (Check local listings): Kerry Washington, Faly Rakotohavana, Jee Young Han, Marque Richardson and Jordyn McIntosh (“UnPrisoned”), CeCe Winans (R)
• “2024 Paris Olympics” (NBC, CBC): Champions are crowned, including for the women’s 1500m freestyle and men’s 200m breaststroke, men’s all-around in gymnastics, and more.
• “Big Brother” (CBS): Houseguests compete to win the power of veto.
• “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire” (ABC): Sophia Bush, Alex Edelman, Jeff Ross and Jimmy’s Cousin Sal.
• “Ms. Pat Settles It” (BET): Season 2 premiere
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Lady Gaga – She and her newly-announced fiancé Michael Polansky are reportedly already making wedding plans. She shocked fans by introducing her boyfriend as her “fiancé” to French Prime Minister Gabriel Attal at the Paris Olympics. Sources say the engagement happened “several months” ago, and only the pair’s close circle knew.
• Drake – is poking fun at his feud with Kendrick Lamar, now that it has seemingly died down. Sunday, Drizzy posted a clip of a lookalike performing his hit song ‘Hotline Bling’ at a gym in New York. His caption: “Sometimes you gotta pop out.” That’s a line from Lamar’s hit diss track ‘Not Like Us’.
• Rolling Stones — Ronnie Wood’s son Tyrone Wood married Iron Maiden bassist Steve Harris’ daughter Faye Harris in a civil ceremony in London on July 24. Pictures indicate that the 2 rock star parents were in attendance. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/5tu9jp59
• Jack White – performed a few tunes with Conan O’Brien as the final acts at Sunday’s Newport Folk Festival. They joined forces for a duet of the White Stripes’ ‘We’re Going to Be Friends’, which happens to also be the theme song of O’Brien’s podcast “Conan O’Brien Needs a Friend”. They also performed Eddie Cochran’s ‘Twenty Flight Rock’. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/mr3bxu5x
• Journey – If you’re wondering they haven’t been the subject of a “Bohemian Rhapsody”-style stage musical or biopic, it’s not due to lack of interest. Jonathan Cain says the group has been approached, but former singer Steve Perry “didn’t want to know about it”. Perry holds a decisive vote, despite having left the group more than 25 years ago, because he has retained all rights to his songs.
• Jelly Roll – has been sworn in as a Flint, Michigan deputy sheriff. He was at Genesee County Jail for a ribbon-cutting ceremony for a music studio at the facility, meant to help rehabilitate inmates. Jelly has been open about his felony conviction and struggling with drug addiction — and how he turned his life around through music. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/2v6drart
• Lainey Wilson and Miranda Lambert – It’s official: They will release their duet ‘Good Horses’ on Friday, after performing the song live a few times over the past several months. Wilson also posted that the song will be included on her new album “Whirlwind”, out late next month. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/4u948eju
• Vince Gill and Amy Grant – will release the holiday album “When I Think of Christmas” on Sept. 13. It will feature remastered versions of 9 of the duo’s Yuletide favorites, plus 2 new recordings: Grant’s rendition of the title track, and the duet ‘Til the Season Comes Round Again’. They’ll also team up again for their “Christmas at the Ryman” concert series, running this year from Nov. 29-Dec. 21.
SHOOTING THE BULL
‘LA’RITHMETIC:
OK, ‘Girl Math’ ladies, it’s your moment of retribution! An economics expert says that the recent social media trend of women making fun of themselves for the “crazy” mathematics they do when it comes to spending, saving, and other rationalizations, aren’t as crazy as they – and others – might think. In fact, some aspects of girl math are actually fundamentally sound mathematic concepts, says Concordia University economics professor Moshe Lander. For example, the ‘girl math’ claim that “If I buy an item for $100 and wear it 10 times, it only cost me $10 per wear”, is correct. That’s an example of ‘average cost’. And if you notice toilet paper is 30% off, so you buy a year’s supply, you are bargain shopping, which is a good strategy. What girl math does NOT fly? If you think that by underspending on your budget this week, you can then overspend next week. Well, that may be girl math, but it’s not good math. It’s like being on a diet and saying to yourself that since you didn’t use all your calories this week, you can pig out next week. Unfortunately, it doesn’t work that way.
(The best example of girl math that I’ve heard is when my teen daughter decided to time her hair-washing schedule to coincide with her plans for the weekend!)
(OK, now let’s hear some examples of “Guy Math”! Like how it is that 5’10 actually measures 6 feet? Or the concept that we all believe if absolutely necessary, we could definitely land an airplane, and fight off a grizzly bear!)
-CTV
POD FORECAST:
If starting a podcast is one of those things that you’ve always said you’d like to do, maybe now isn’t the best time. Recent data indicates that if you aren’t already famous, chances are that your podcast will have trouble generating listeners. Stats show that in the US, the top 25 podcasts reach almost half of regular podcast listeners. And while there are still nearly 450,000 active podcasts, the top 25 reach nearly half of weekly listeners. That leaves your podcast fighting it out with 449,975 others for the other 50% of the audience. The good news? While it is true that the few big names take most of the audience, and therefore, most of the cash that comes with hosting a popular pod, high-profile deals with famous hosts don’t always work out. The “Archetypes” show with Prince Harry and Meghan Markle ended up costing Spotify $20 million, and only one show was ever released.
(Wow! How much would I have to pay them to stop airing Rogan?)
(What? You mean there are actually some people who DON’T already have a podcast?)
-9To5Mac
THINGS YOU WERE JUST AS WELL-OFF NOT KNOWING:
(***Preview for content***)
❑ By now, you’ve definitely heard that the summer blockbuster “Deadpool & Wolverine” is breaking records all over the place. But you might not be aware of this one. The threequel, which opened on Friday, features more than 100 F-bombs — 116 of them by one count, although it’s hard to keep track. That’s by far the most in any “Deadpool” film so far. The second Deadpool movie included a mere 90. Deadpool & Wolverine is also the first R-rated movie in the 34-film MCU (The previous 2 Deaspool films were produced by 20th Century Fox). And because Disney owns Marvel, that also makes it Disney’s first-ever R-rated movie. (…although we understand they’re now working on a new movie with the title “Tinderella”…!)
❑ Many of the stories coming out of the Paris Olympics have been about the poor water quality in the Seine River. But the pools used for competitions might be just as bad, because, according to multiple Olympic swimmers, everyone pees in there. Lilly King, a 3-time US Olympian, said: “I’ve probably peed in every single pool I’ve swam in. That’s just how it goes.” Many athletes say the chlorine in pools makes any pee unnoticeable. In addition, swimmers agree that it’s important to stay hydrated up until their race time. As a result, bladders can be full. Add to that tight swimwear and pre-competition nerves, and, well, you sometimes gotta do what you gotta do. Many swimmers adhere to an unofficial code of conduct, wherein whenever possible, they pee when no one is nearby. As 4-time medalist Cullen Jones explained: “You never want to swim through a warm patch.” (Just the look of relief on my face would give ME away!)
-NYPost, US, OK!
BEHAVIORS FROM BACK IN THE DAY THAT WOULD SEEM STRANGE TODAY:
A Reddit user asked the “AskOldPeople” community: “What’s one thing normal (from) your time, but is now bizarre to even think about?” And you don’t have to be very old to remember some of the responses…
☞ “Calling the movie theater to see what was playing and what the showtimes were.”
☞ “Anytime you answered a phone, you had no idea who was calling you.”
☞ “Always carrying dimes, later quarters, when on a date, in case things went sideways.”
☞ “Smoking in hospitals and on airplanes.” (I know! Now, you can’t even smoke in church anymore!)
☞ “Arriving at the airport shortly before takeoff, checking your luggage with minimal to no hassle, and boarding your flight.” (…and smoking!)
☞ “Paper maps. You had to figure out your own route…and road trips seemed more of an adventure back then.” (You want to talk about distracted driving? Try following a map while driving through a city!)
☞ “How utterly unsupervised we were as tiny children. I remember taking care of my brother by myself for the full summer while my parents worked starting at 8. He was 4.”
☞ “My parents would leave us 4 kids in the car while they stopped for groceries.”
☞ “The Yellow Pages” (Also: The phone book!)
☞ “The sounds younger people will never know of: listening to your modem connect to the internet.”
☞ “The milkman. Milk, eggs, cheese, and other dairy-adjacent items are delivered to the house weekly. And the milk and OJ were in the glass, returnable bottles.” (So…that wasn’t just a “Leave it to Beaver” thing?)
-BuzzFeed
DID YOU KNOW?
Weight-loss drugs are taking a big bite out of the food business. People taking meds such as Ozempic, Rybelsus and Wegovy — originally developed to treat diabetes — spend less on groceries and have healthier choices in their basket, according to a new study on shopping behaviors. Analytics firm Grocery Doppio found that semaglutide-takers purchase 47% fewer baked goods; 28% less soda and sugary beverages; 17% less booze; and 13% less processed foods. On the other hand, they are buying more healthy foods, thanks reduced appetites and changes to their taste buds. (This totally explains why, when my wife went on Ozempic, me and the kids lost weight!)
-NYPost
BS CHRONOMETER 07.31.24
TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Mutts Day”, honoring all dogs of mixed breeds. Purebred owners often view them as lesser in many ways — but mutt owners know better!
• “Uncommon Instruments Awareness Day”, a celebration of strange musical instruments — such as the bubble organ, fluba, and dulcimer. (***Check out some REALLY weird ones here …
LINK: https://www.oddee.com/item_98118.aspx ***)
• “Cotton Candy Day”, celebrating the sweet, sugary taste-treat that melts in your mouth. It was invented in 1897 as ‘Fairy Floss’, then renamed in 1920. In Greece, Israel, and India, it is often referred to as ‘Old Woman’s Hair’. Yuck.
• “Raspberry Cake Day”, a whole day dedicated to enjoying raspberries in cake format!
• “World Ranger Day”, initiated by the 54 member associations of the International Ranger Federation, to celebrate the work rangers do to protect the world’s natural & cultural treasures. LINK: http://internationalrangers.org/world-ranger-day
• “Avocado Day”. It’s not just for delicious guacamole. Targeting insulin resistance with heart-healthy fats and fighting Alzheimer’s with its Omega 3 fatty acids, the avocado also prevents and repairs damage, thanks to its abundance of Vitamins C, E and K. (And apparently it makes a fine spread for toast, if you’re a millennial…!)
• “Jump for Jelly Beans Day”. These tiny candies evolved from an ancient confection called “Turkish delight,” which was one of the earliest forms of hard candy.
AND REMEMBER . . .
[Thurs] Respect for Parents Day
[Thurs] Spider-Man Day
[Fri] Ice Cream Sandwich Day
[Sat] Disc Golf Day
This Month is…Anti-Boredom Month
This Month is…Deli Salad Month
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1949 [75] Susan Bennett, Burlington VT, singer/voice actress (best known as the original voice of Apple’s virtual assistant “Siri”)
1958 [66] Mark Cuban, Pittsburgh PA, sports executive (now minority-owner of the Dallas Mavericks)/reality TV star (“Shark Tank” 2010-present)/entrepreneur (co-founder of AXS TV, sold Broadcast.com to Yahoo for $5.9 billion in 1999)
1962 [62] Wesley Snipes, Orlando FL, movie actor (“White Men Can’t Jump”, “The Expendables 3″, “Blade” films)/Hollywood Walk of Fame, 1998
1963 [61] “Fatboy Slim” (Quentin Cook), London England, electronic musician-DJ (‘Praise You’, ‘The Rockafeller Skank’)
1965 [59] J.K. (Joanne) Rowling, Yate England, mega-selling author (“Harry Potter” novels)
1966 [58] Dean Cain, Mt Clemens MI, TV actor (“Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman” 1993-97)/TV host (“Ripley’s Believe It or Not!” 1999–2003)
1971 [53] “John 5” (John Lowery), Grosse Point MI, rock guitarist (Mötley Crüe since 2022, Marilyn Manson, Rob Zombie, David Lee Roth, Lynyrd Skynyrd)
1978 [46] Zac Brown, Cumming GA, country singer (Zac Brown Band-‘Beautiful Drug’, ‘Chicken Fried’)
1978 [46] Will Champion, Southampton England, rock drummer (Coldplay-‘Paradise’, ‘Viva La Vida’)
1979 [45] BJ (Benjamin Joseph) Novak, Newton MA, TV actor (“The Office” 2005-13)/movie actor (“Inglourious Basterds”)/author (“One More Thing: Stories & Other Stories”)
1988 [36] Charlie Carver, San Francisco CA, TV actor (“Teen Wolf” 2013-2017; “Desperate Housewives” 2008-2012)
1998 [26] Rico Rodriguez, College Station TX, TV actor (‘Manny Delgado’ on “Modern Family” 2009-19)
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1980 [44] Fictional character ‘Harry Potter’, portrayed by Daniel Radcliffe, is “born” in Godric’s Hollow, England
1995 [29] Walt Disney Co. acquires ABC-TV in a $19-billion deal
TODAY IN MUSIC . . .
1980 [44] The Eagles split up after Glenn Frey and Don Felder get into an altercation on stage. The group would reunite in 1994 for the “Hell Freezes Over” tour, named after Don Henley’s often-used statement about when the group would get back together (still going…)
2016 [08] Justin Timberlake accepts the ‘Decade Award’ at the Teen Choice Awards, the first time the award is given out
TODAY’S FIRST . . .
2023 [01] The world’s only known spotless giraffe is born at Brights Zoo, Limehouse, Tennessee
TODAY’S RECORD . . .
2012 [12] US swimmer Michael Phelps becomes the greatest medalist in Olympic history, taking gold with the 200m freestyle relay team in London; It is his 19th career Olympic medal (He would retire with 28)
BULL’S BITS
BS WHACK FACTS:
✓ The average person spends 60% of a conversation talking about themselves.
✓ Blue is the most common favorite color worldwide.
✓ Coffee beans can cure bad breath.
✓ White chocolate isn’t actually chocolate.
✓ Playing a lullaby to plants can make them grow faster. But they tend to wilt or die with heavier music.
✓ People who swear a lot are usually more honest than those who don’t.
-Facts
Best of BS . . .
BS REJECTED PARIS 2024 OLYMPIC EVENTS:
✗ Supersoaker Trapshooting
✗ Two-Meter Dash
✗ Kick-Fencing
✗ Don’t-Even-Try-athlon
✗ Javelin Catch
✗ Speed Dating
✗ Scrapbooking
✗ Red Rover
✗ Awfulminton
✗ Catching a Grape in the Mouth
✗ Jumping to Conclusions
-First published in BS in 2012
TODAY’S SCOOP OF BS:
➠ August 1st through the 7th is National Clown Week. (Here’s what I know about clowns: Some are happy. Some are sad. And some are insane and form posses!)
➠ A cannabis-friendly hotel is for sale in Vegas. (I’m sure it’ll be a wonderful experience – if you’re OK booking your reservation through Luke, on the 6th hole of your local Frisbee-Golf Course…!
➠ Have you been watching the Olympics this week? (I watched about 47 seconds of beach volleyball. Then I had a cigarette and fell asleep…)
➠ A report found that running burns more fat than lifting weights does. (Maybe, but running doesn’t allow me to impress the ladies by screaming and grunting loudly into the mirror while curling a 5-pound dumbbell in my torn Affliction shirt…)
➠ Author J.K. Rowling turns 59 today. (You can tell she’s getting older, too. Her new book is called “Harry Potter and the Goblet of Activia”!)
BS WEB GOODIE:
Someone raised her right: https://tinyurl.com/4y4dpy6h
BS RANDOM JOKE:
Who decided to call it “emotional baggage” and not “griefcase”?
BS WOULD YOU RATHER?
(***You run down the list while your caller decides which choice is more palatable …***)
• Would you rather live forever with an eyelash in your eye, or spinach in your teeth?
• Would you rather give up social media, or eat the same dinner for the rest of your life?
• Would you rather get a face tattoo of something you choose, or a tattoo in a discreet area chosen by someone else?
• Would you rather have an abnormally big toe, or an abnormally big ear?
• Would you rather go on a double date with your parents, or your ex?
• Would you rather sneeze every time you say “Hi!”, or have the urge to pee every time you ask a question?
• Would you rather have a hamster-sized dog, or a dog-sized hamster?
• Would you rather fight 1,000 ant-sized bulls, or one bull-sized ant?
• Would you rather talk like Yoda, or breathe like Darth Vader?
BS PHONE STARTER:
☎ What is a funny or creative way to answer everyday questions like “how’s it going” or “what do you do”?
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
15% of people who own one of THESE — don’t use it. What is it?
Answer: A dishwasher.
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
It takes less time to do something right than it does to explain why you did it wrong.
