Friday, July 13, 2007        Edition: #3574
There’s No BS Like Show BS …  

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
SUNDAY Jimmy Kimmel & NBA star Lebron James co-host as the 15th annual “ESPY Awards” are handed out in LA to the top performers in sport (ESPN) as well as the ‘Best Game’ of the year (would that be “The Singing Bee”?) . . . THIS WEEK after celebrating her birthday in London, a boozed-up Courtney Love is said to have trashed her $1,000-per-night suite in the 5-star Covent Garden Hotel, causing thousands in damage through burn marks on the bed, carpet & upholstery (proving you can “Party Like a Rock Star” even if you aren’t anymore) . . . Leonardo DiCaprio is said to be interested in playing Hugh Hefner in the upcoming biopic of the “Playboy” founder’s life (he’s qualified – he practically lives at the Playboy Mansion) . . . Meantime, Joshua Jackson (“Dawson’s Creek”) & John Krasinski (‘Jim’ on “The Office”) are said to be the leading candidates to star in a new ‘Fletch’ crime comedy film called “Fletch Won” (Chevy Chase starred as the newspaper reporter/wannabe detective in a pair of 1980s films) . . . Britney Spears is apparently getting 24/7 ‘protection’ from a bodyguard named Damon (no last name yet), who’s been spotted taking care of her kids, accompanying her at a romantic candlelit dinner, and – at least once – staying overnight at her compound (where he stands on guard) . . . Meanwhile Kevin Federline reportedly has a new steady, LA radio personality Liz Hernandez (Power 106), the twosome first meeting when he appeared on her show about 18 months ago (Britney will be lamenting the loser that got away) . . . 45-year-old actress Meg Ryan (“When Harry Met Sally”) & 37-year-old former “Friends” star Matthew Perry have reportedly been having a secret romance – for 5 months now (talk about flying under the radar!) . . . Toronto actress Laura Vandervoort (“Instant Star”) has landed the role of ‘Clark Kent’s cousin ‘Kara’, aka ‘Supergirl’, on “Smallville” (CW) which may evolve into a spin-off series . . . London’s Duke of York Theatre has had to hire extra security due to the hoards of female fans lingering outside trying to spot Orlando Bloom who’s currently starring in the play “In Celebration” . . . And FreeMantle Media has just struck a deal with Lyric Jeans to create a new line of “American Idol”-branded apparel (cuz the show just doesn’t get enough publicity).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Arcade Fire – TOMORROW they’re the musical guest on a “Saturday Night Live” rerun (NBC), hosted by TV actor Rainn Wilson (“The Office”).
• Genesis – SATURDAY they’re scheduled to play a massive free concert for 400,000 at Circo Massimo in Rome, Italy to wrap up the “Turn It On Again Tour”, their first in 15 years.
• Journey – Their 1981 tune “Don’t Stop Believing” is a big hit all over again in Ireland, thanks to it being featured in the final episode of “The Sopranos”.
• Maroon 5 – TONIGHT they perform on “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV).
• Prince – SATURDAY he kicks off the “Hamptons Social @ Ross” concert series in East Hampton NY, a series of 5 ‘Ultimate Rock ‘n Roll Fantasy’ shows accompanied by gourmet dining. Upcoming concerts feature Dave Matthews, James Taylor, Billy Joel, and Tom Petty. A series pass goes for $15,000.
• Queen – 59-year-old guitarist Brian May has completed his thesis for a PhD in astronomy more than 30 years after he started the academic paper. If he passes, he’ll be granted his degree next MAY.
• They Might Be Giants – Yup, they’re still around. TONIGHT they’re on “Late Night With Conan O’ Brien” (NBC).
• Trace Adkins – The “Ladies Love Country Boys” singer is the 2007 honorary chairman of “Walk for Food Allergy: Moving Toward a Cure” to be staged in some 20 different cities over the next 5 months. Stats show that 1-in-17 children under age 3 suffer from food allergies.
• Trisha Yearwood – She’s digitally releasing a new single to country radio MONDAY, “Heaven, Heartache & the Power of Love”, the title track from her upcoming new album.
• U2 – Bono & The Edge are reportedly currently doing research for their upcoming “Spiderman: The Musical” by going to Broadway shows such as “Xanadu” and “Spring Awakening”.

TODAY’S MOVIE OPENING:
“Captivity” ( R-Rated Thriller ): After a serial killer kidnaps a fashion model (Calgary-born, Montréal-raised Elisha Cuthbert) & her chauffeur (Daniel Gillies), the two begin to develop a relationship while they attempt to survive a series of twisted, sadistic games. This is the film that caused controversy with outdoor ads in LA & NYC featuring graphic pics of Cuthbert being tortured. The ads eventually came down and the film has reportedly been slashed to tone it down (it now runs just 85 minutes).
NET: http://captivitythemovie.com/

ANOTHER STIFF ON THE THRONE:
A new book claims to finally put to rest the rumors surrounding the death of The Doors’ legendary singer Jim Morrison 36 years after he died. It’s long been thought the flamboyant Morrison, who died in 1971 at age 27, suffered heart failure while taking a bath. But in his new biography, “In The End: Jim Morrison”, former Paris nightclub owner-turned-Disneyland Paris vice president Sam Bernett says a doctor declared the cause of death to be a ‘heroin overdose’. Bernett claims he found Morrison’s body in a nightclub men’s room cubicle. (In other words … he pulled an Elvis.)
– “GQ”

LISTEN UP:
As many as 50% of music professionals suffer at least some hearing loss, according to a survey by the Center for Music & Medicine at the University of North Texas. Testing has determined the human ear can withstand 85 decibels (the volume of a food blender) for about 8 hours at a time, but an increase to 100 decibels (the sound level of a jet flyover) can begin to cause damage after just 15 minutes. Researchers say the human ear can only be bombarded with sound for so long without deteriorating. And as the volume goes up, the duration declines. So musicians and others exposed to intense sound should remember the ear needs rest. (Just ask The Who’s Pete Townshend … but you better shout.)
– “Dallas Morning News”

FAUX-CANNIBALISM:
When it comes to dining, the Japanese never seem to run out of creativity. You’ve likely heard of ‘Nyotaimori’ (literally means ‘female body plate’), where restaurants serve sushi and sashimi on a naked woman’s body. If that isn’t weird enough, now there’s another innovation in which an entire human body is fashioned from food and placed on a hospital-style operating table. Diners can ‘operate’ anyway and anywhere they want by cutting open the body and eating what they find inside. The body actually ‘bleeds’ as it’s cut; the intestines and organs are completely edible. Basically, it’s a banquet based on cannibalism. (If you try it, don’t be late for dinner … you’re likely to get the cold shoulder.)
– “Weird Asia News”

FOR THE RECORD:
SUNDAY 37-year-old South African adventurer Lewis Gordon Pugh (nicknamed ‘The Polar Bear’) hopes to become the first human to swim at the North Pole. He’ll attempt a 1-K (0.62-mile) swim in water temperatures circa -2 C (28 F) in an attempt to raise awareness of climate change. Just a few years ago, the swim would have been impossible due to solid ice.
– “Times of London”

AND WE QUOTE:
• “To be part of that show was lucky. It fell into my lap. At that point in my career, I would have done anything … within reason.”
– 24-year-old “Captivity” star Elisha Cuthbert, still thrilled about landing a role on “24” (FOX) at age 17.
• “There’ve been a lot of cooks in the kitchen on all 3 of my albums. Everybody wants a success, so that’s great. On the other hand, the kitchen gets real crowded.”
– Singer Kelly Clarkson, telling “Readers Digest” why she has to stand firm to get her way.

BS CHRONOMETER 07.13.07

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1940 [67] Patrick Stewart, Mirfield UK, movie actor (“X-Men 1-3”)/former TV actor (‘Cpt Jean-Luc Picard’ in “Star Trek: The Next Generation” 1987-94)

1942 [65] Harrison Ford, Chicago, IL, movie actor (“Firewall”, “Star Wars”)  UP NEXT: “Indiana Jones 4”, now shooting in Connecticut, Hawaii & Mexico.

1974 [33] Deborah Cox, Toronto ON, R&B/dance music singer (“A House Is Not a Home” “Nobody’s Supposed to Be Here”)/3 Juno Awards

SATURDAY –
TV actor Matthew Fox (“Lost”) is 41; Alt-rock singer/keyboardist Ellen Reid (Crash Test Dummies) is 41; Hip-hop musician/MC Taboo (Black Eyed Peas) is 32.

SUNDAY –
Oldies singer Linda Ronstadt (“You’re No Good”) is 61; TV actor Terry O’Quinn (“Lost”) is 55; Movie actor Forest Whitaker (“Last King of Scotland”) is 46; Rock drummer John Dolmayan (System Of A Down) is 34; TV actor Scott Foley (“The Unit”) is 35.  

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Embrace Your Geekness Day”, a great day to be a Geek … or to know a Geek. Some people view the term with a negative connotation. Are they jealous of your knowledge and skills, perhaps? Yeah, that’s it.
• “French Fries Day”. The ‘french’ has nothing to do with France, but the method of preparation. Food that’s chipped into pieces is said to be ‘frenched’.
• “Friday the 13th”, considered an unlucky day by those who are superstitious, and 6% of us say we are ‘extremely superstitious’.
BS SUPERSTITIONS OF DUMB PEOPLE:
– Bad things come in trees.
– Never walk under a black cat.
– Lightning can’t find you if you hold really still.
– If you break a mirror, you’ll have 7 years of really bad shaves.
– While a foot is lucky, an entire rabbit is even luckier. But it makes your keychain really heavy.
• “Gruntled Workers Day”. You always hear about ‘disgruntled’ workers, but what about people who are happy with their jobs and can’t wait to go to work each day? Gruntled workers, this is your day! … ya eager-beaver keeners.

SATURDAY –
• “Bastille Day”, the national holiday of France that commemorates the beginning of the French Revolution in 1789 when patriots stormed the Bastille prison.
• “Cow Appreciation Day” and that’s no bull! It’s a day of recognition for all the things that cows give us. So open up your calfskin wallet and buy yourself a tasty T-bone.
• “National Nude Day”, a highlight of “Nude Recreation Week” recognizing the naturist lifestyle as a natural alternative. Also a good way to keep cool on a hot, sticky summer day!

SUNDAY –
• “Be A Dork Day”, recognizing the stupid, inept and foolish people we’re surrounded by. Just another day for [co-host]. In spite of what you may have read on thousands of web pages, the word ‘dork’ does not mean a whale’s um, er … package. That’s just an urban legend.
• “Canada’s Parks Day”, a celebration of our National Parks. Special events are listed here …
NET: http://www.parksday.ca/eng/canadamap.html
• “National Ice Cream Day”, observed annually on the 3rd SUNDAY in JULY. A few fun facts …
– The most popular flavor remains vanilla, snagging about 26% of total sales. Chocolate comes in a distant 2nd with about 13% of the market.
– One of the major ingredients in ice cream is air. Without it, the stuff would be hard as a rock.
– Among the most unusual flavors ever concocted are avocado, bean, garlic, jalapeno, and pumpkin. Dill pickle ice cream was once targeted at expectant mothers … it didn’t catch on.
– 1 out of every 5 ice cream eaters has shared their treat with a pet dog or cat.
– The largest ice cream sundae in history was made by Palm Dairies in Edmonton AB on July 24, 1988. It weighed in at over 24 tons.
– It takes an average of 50 licks to polish off a typical single-scoop ice cream cone.
NET: http://www.idfa.org/facts/icmonth/page2.cfm
NET: http://www.foodsci.uoguelph.ca/dairyedu/ichist.html
• “Respect Canada Day”, as declared by the US-based ‘Wellness Permission League’, a day to ‘show we know it’s not some strange northern province of America’ … eh?
• “St Swithun’s Day”, in honor of an obscure British bishop who was buried in the rain in 971 AD. That spectacular feat led to the belief that if it rains on this day, it will rain for 40 more. And if it’s fair, there’ll be no rain for 40 days.
• “Shark Awareness Day”, time to spare a thought for the endangered and rare species of shark … and for your missing left leg.

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1953 [54] The annual “Stratford Shakespearean Festival” debuts in Stratford ON as Sir Alec Guinness opens in “Richard III”

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1985 [22] 1.5 billion worldwide watch or listen to “Live Aid” rock concerts in Philadelphia PA and London UK, raising over $70 million for African famine relief

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1568 [439] 1st ‘Bottled Beer’ developed by the Dean of St Paul’s Cathedral in London (before that you had to stick your head in the barrel)

1930 [77] 1st ‘World Cup’ soccer tourney begins (Uruguay eventually triumphs, defeating Argentina 4-2 in Montevideo, Uruguay)

1982 [25] 1st MLB All-Star Game held outside the USA (Montréal’s Olympic Stadium)

COMING UP . . .
[Tues] Britain’s Royal Mail “Harry Potter” stamps go on sale
[Wed] Stick Out Your Tongue Day
[Wed] Get Out of the Doghouse Day
[Thurs-July 28] Capital Ex (Edmonton)
This Week Is … Therapeutic Recreation Week
This Month Is … Purposeful Parenting Month

BULL’S BITS      

FAMOUS BS LIES:
• “Sure, I’m single … we broke up weeks ago.”
• “You get this one; I’ll pay next time.”
• “I’m leaving now but I’ll come back later to help finish the project.”
• “Of course I wasn’t looking at her.”
• “When we make money, you’ll make money.”
• “It’s delicious but I can’t eat another bite.”
• “Your call is very important to us, please continue holding …”
• “Put the map away. I know exactly how to get there.”
• “One size fits all.”
• “The Iraqis will greet us as liberators.”

BS PHONE STARTER:
Isn’t ‘Carbon Offsetting’ just a form of guilt-removal for rich people? And isn’t ‘Carbon Neutral’ just a handy buzz term that most people don’t even understand?

BS RANDOM JOKES:
• An amnesiac walks up to a pretty lady in a bar and asks, “Do I come here often?”
• Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and instead of bleeding, he sings.

TRUTH OR BS?:
Two of the following are true, the other one is pure BS. But which one?
GAME #1: CIVILIZATIONS
• In ancient Rome, prostitutes were required by law to be blonde.
• In ancient Greece, natural blondes dyed their hair black.
• In ancient China, blondes were considered to be angels. (BS)

GAME #2: ANIMALIA
• A crocodile can stick its tongue out. (BS. It can’t.)
• A snail can sleep for 3 years.
• Butterflies taste with their feet.

GAME #3: POTPOURRI
• More “Monopoly” money is printed in a year than real money throughout the world.
• An average of 13 people a year are killed by vending machines falling on them.
• A coat hanger is 60 inches long if straightened. (BS. 44 inches.)

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: On Friday the 13th, actors believe they should not do THIS on stage.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Wear the color green.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Pears are honest about when they go bad. Maybe we could elect a pear.