Thursday, July 25, 2019 – Edition: #6501

Bully For You!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Sean Hayes will serve as Roast Master of Comedy Central’s roast of Alec Baldwin in September. Hayes said: “It’s always been my dream to roast a Hollywood legend. So, when they asked me to roast Alec Baldwin I said, ‘close enough’.” The Baldwin roast is set to tape on Sept. 7 in Los Angeles, with a premiere date on Comedy Central of Sunday, September 15th.
-Deadline
★ It looks like Adam Sandler isn’t done with Netflix just yet. This comes as no surprise considering his last movie, “Murder Mystery” with Jennifer Aniston, has been watched by 73 million people so far, and that he has a 4-movie deal with the streaming service. His newest comedy has just been announced, and although there isn’t a title yet, we do know that it is Halloween-themed. And it has one heck of a cast, including Maya Rudolph, Kevin James, Kenan Thompson, Julie Bowen, and Steve Buscemi. Not only is Sandler acting and producing, he also co-wrote the screenplay that follows a town jokester who no one takes seriously until it’s up to him to save Halloween and his town’s long-running traditions.
-MSN
★ Val Kilmer accepted an award at the United Nations (UN) in New York and gave his first public speech since his battle with throat cancer. Kilmer was honored for his work with the TwainMania Foundation, created to educate children on author Mark Twain’s legacy. Despite his health battles, Kilmer will join Tom Cruise in the sequel to their iconic 1986 movie “Top Gun”, in which he played flying ace Tom “Iceman” Kazansky, the rival to Cruise’s lead, Pete “Maverick” Mitchell.
-Canoe
★ We have a few more details on the injury which occurred on the set of “Fast & Furious 9” on Monday. Vin Diesel’s stunt double has been placed in an induced coma after suffering a serious head injury. Sources say that the stuntman fell ”at least 30feet” while filming a balcony scene when his safety wire snapped. He is said to be ”stable and being monitored closely”.
-ContactMusic
★ Famed conservationist and TV star Bindi Irwin is engaged to her childhood sweetheart Chandler Powell after nearly six years of dating. They met in 2013 when Powell went on a tour of the zoo led by his future fiancée. Powell was in Australia at the time for a wakeboarding competition. Irwin, the daughter “Crocodile Hunter” Steve Irwin, shared a pair of photos showing her sparkling new engagement ring to Twitter on Wednesday.
-NYDailyNews

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Sen. Bernie Sanders, Eugenio Derbez, the Raconteurs
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Kevin Delaney, Zachary Quinto, Betty Gilpin, Mike Vecchione
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Jeff Goldblum, Aisha Tyler
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Michael Moore, Brian Michael Bendis
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Keegan-Michael Key, Terry Crews, Joshua Jay
• “Conan” (TBS): Sophie Turner (R)
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Michael Rapaport, Dorinda Medley
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): David Spade, Fred Savage
• “The Talk” (CBS): Charo, guest co-host Bonnie Hunt
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Poppy Montgomery, Laura Prepon, Max
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Kenan Thompson (R)
• “Hollywood Game Night” (NBC): Celebrity guests Donald Faison, David Arquette and Rob Riggle, as well as “Superstore’s” Colton Dunn, Lauren Ash and Ben Feldman; contestants compete in games such as ‘Dance in Your Pants’ and more.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Taylor Swift – A 32-year-old man from Iowa was picked up by police at her massive Rhode Island home last week. He claimed he was there to “catch up” with her. The man has been charged with possession of burglary tools and possession of a prohibited weapon other than a firearm.
• Shawn Mendes — just got a butterfly tattoo. Why? A fan posted photos of him on Twitter with an intricately designed butterfly tattoo on his left arm. She admitted that she edited the tattoo onto Mendes’s forearm and included the caption, “Shawn Mendes with a butterfly tattoo. I rest my case.” Mendes asked where he could get the drawing, and had the tattoo done.
• Paris Jackson — is set to sign a major music deal. The 21-year-old daughter of Michael Jackson has formed the folk-rock duo “The Soundflowers” with her boyfriend Gabriel Glenn and the pair have attracted interest from a number of record companies.
• Ariana Grande – She and Taylor Swift lead the pack of nominees for the 2019 MTV Video Music Awards with 10 noms each. They are going head-to-head in categories including “Video of the Year,” “Song of the Year” and “Best Pop”. Grande is also up for “Artist of the Year.” Comedian Sebastian Maniscalco hosts the live show from New Jersey’s Prudential Center on Aug. 26.
• Britney Spears — wore a sparkly diamond on her ring finger as she and her boyfriend Sam Asghari made their red carpet debut as a couple at the “Once Upon A Time In Hollywood” premiere on Monday night.
• Bruce Springsteen – His new concert movie “Western Stars” will receive its world premiere at the Toronto International Film Festival in September. Directed by Thom Zimny, the movie features the Boss playing songs from his recently released solo album of the same name.
• Rolling Stones — Mick Jagger’s return to acting will be seen when the new movie “The Burnt Orange Heresy” premieres on Sept. 7. He completed filming before undergoing heart surgery in April. He has starred in a number of movies over the years, most recently in the 2008 Jason Statham feature “The Bank Job”, where he was briefly seen as a bank clerk.
• Miranda Lambert and Carrie Underwood — will both appear at the 2020 Country Radio Seminar in Nashville. Lambert will help kick things off on Wednesday, Feb. 19, by participating in an in-depth discussion of her career titled “A Conversation With Miranda Lambert.” Underwood will participate in the annual CRS Artist Interview on Friday, Feb. 21.
• George Strait – and Loretta Lynn will be honored at the 2019 Nashville Songwriter Awards on Sept. 17. Lynn will receive the Kris Kristofferson Lifetime Achievement Award (the organization’s highest honor). Strait, meanwhile, will receive the President’s Keystone Award for his support of songwriters.

A GOOD LAUGH OVER A BAD JOKE:
What’s the best day to cook? Friday. Get it? Fry-day. That’s one of 40 jokes used in a recent scientific study that proved that laugh tracks work. Researchers at the UCL Institute of Cognitive Neuroscience found that the presence of others laughing, whether live or recorded as on a TV show laugh track, does indeed make jokes seem funnier – even lame jokes. The lead author said that “What the study shows is that adding laughter to a joke increases the humour value, no matter how funny or unfunny the joke is.”
(I think I’ve just discovered what this show is missing!)
(I’m sorry…did you say ‘bad’ jokes – or ‘Dad’ jokes?)
(THAT’S why Adam Sandler’s movies are so bad lately…no laugh track!  No, wait. That’s not it, they’re just bad!)
-ABC, ScienceDaily

CAKEWALK:
You wouldn’t dream of getting married without a wedding cake, so how could you ever deprive your dog of the same? Yup, that’s a thing. Dog wedding cakes. The Etsy shop “House of FurBaby” is selling the “I do too” dog-friendly wedding cake for US$26. The cakes are made with organic oat flour, applesauce, molasses, honey, peanut butter, baking soda, vanilla, ginger and cinnamon, and decorated with a yogurt “frosting” and bone-shaped carob chip accents (you know, instead of chocolate). It is, of course, wheat-, soy- and gluten-free. There is also the “We do too” icing option in case you expect multiple-dog attendees at your wedding. And the scary thing is, dog wedding cake is just one of hundreds of “dog wedding” items that they offer at that Etsy shop. Dog wedding dress, anyone?
(At first, I wasn’t sure if this was for the owner’s wedding, or for the dog’s!)
(My dog would be much happier with a cake-shaped serving of Hamburger Helper!)
(OK, but if Rover catches the garter, he’s outta here!)
-PureWow

YOU KNOW THE DRILL:
(Recent dental “crowning achievements”…)
☞ You can now make jewelry from your loved one’s teeth. One Pennsylvania woman specializes in this rather weird art. In a Facebook post, she shared a number of pictures of different kinds of jewelry made of different sets of teeth. A premolar is used in a ring and replaces the traditional gemstone. Incisors are used in a necklace. And while this is not an entirely new idea, it is still tasteless!
Gotta see it: LINK
(Will my new ring require regular brushing?)
☞ Doctors are urging parents to keep their kids’ baby teeth. Baby teeth are a rich source of stem cells. That means that if later in life, a child needs replacement tissue for whatever reason, the stem cells from their baby teeth could be used to grow the needed tissue. Potentially, the practice of storing baby teeth could save lives and treat a variety of ailments.
(I’m pretty sure the Tooth Fairy is going to take this one to court!)
☞ A professor at London’s Dental Institute thinks he has found a revolutionary way to treat tooth decay: by teaching your body to regenerate damaged teeth in a short period of time. He says that applying a substance called “Tideglusib”, which is being tested as a treatment for Alzheimer’s disease, can trigger your body to completely heal a cavity.
(Yay! Now I only have to brush my teeth if I’m going to get kissed!)
-Facebook, LittleThings, TheHeartySoul

DID YOU KNOW?
A new website is offering up the chance for the lonely to rent a friend. Rentafriend.com makes it clear that it is not a dating service or for escorts, but just a provider of short-term friends…for a fee of $25 per hour. One friend-for-pay — Nikki Souza of Las Vegas – says that she acts more like a tour guide, showing people around her city.
(I’ve had lots of “short-term” friends…who’ve paid ME…to go away!)
-ABC

BS CHRONOMETER 07.25.19

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1955 [64] Iman (Zara Mohamed Abdulmajid), Mogadishu, Somalia, model/actress/TV host “Project Runway Canada”/entrepreneur/widow of David Bowie)

1965 [54] Illeana Douglas, Quincy MA, movie actress (“Cape Fear”, “To Die For”)/TV actress (“Goliath” since 2019)

1967 [52] Matt LeBlanc, Newton MA, TV personality (BBC’s “Top Gear” 2012, 2016-18)/TV actor (“Man With a Plan” since 2016, “Friends” 1994-2004)

1985 [34] Shantel VanSanten, Luverne MN, TV actress (‘Julie Swagger’ on “Shooter” 2016-18, “One Tree Hill” 2009-2012)

2000 [19] Mason Cook, Oklahoma City, OK, TV actor (‘Ray DiMeo’ on “Speechless” 2016-19)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Hot Fudge Sundae Day”, an annual excuse to indulge in this decadent hot n’cold dessert. (And they couldn’t have arranged to have this on a ‘Sunday’?)

• “Merry-Go-Round Day” (or “Carousel Day”), the anniversary of the mechanical carousel’s first patent in 1871 by William Schneider of Davenport, Iowa. He did not invent it, however, as carousel rides may go back as far as 500 AD. (I like to call it a ‘horse tornado’!)

• “Wine and Cheese Day”. Oh, all right … if we have to.

• “Culinarians Day”, a special day to salute anyone who cooks. (I cook. But no one would call me a culinarian!)

• “Thread the Needle Day”, a day for those who sew. The term “thread the needle”, is also a saying. It means to either walk a fine and difficult line between two things or issues, or to do something difficult.

• “Red Shoe Day”, founded in memory of Australian Lyme disease patient, Theda Myint, who died on July 25, 2013. The Inaugural Red Shoe Day was July 25th 2014, an annual remembrance not only for Theda, but for all those lost to Lyme and other invisible illnesses worldwide.

COMING UP . . .
[Fri] Aunt and Uncles Day
[Fri] All Or Nothing Day
[Sat] Bagpipe Appreciation Day
[Sat] Crème Brûlée Day

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1990 [29] 1990 Roseanne Barr sings a shrieking and legendarily bad version of the American National Anthem at a Cincinnati Reds-San Diego Padres game. President George Bush refers to it as “disgraceful” (And up until recently, we thought this would forever be the low point of her career…)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
2014 [05] Parody singer-songwriter Weird Al Yankovic’s 14th album, “Mandatory Fun”, becomes the first comedy album to hit #1 on the chart in more than 50 years

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1978 [41] World’s first ‘Test Tube Baby’ is born (Louise Brown of Oldham UK, who had been conceived outside her mother’s body using the new technique of ‘in-vitro fertilization’)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
2010 [09] WikiLeaks publishes more than 76,900 classified documents about the war in Afghanistan, likely the largest leak in military history

BULL’S BITS

BS WHACK FACTS:
✓ It takes one 15-20-year-old tree to produce 700 paper grocery bags.
✓ Recycling one glass jar saves enough energy to power a TV for three hours.
✓ A study found that people interrupt close friends or family more than they interrupt strangers.
✓ An armadillo can walk underwater.
✓ Boys are more likely to be left-handed than girls are.
✓ The longest-ever wedding veil was the same length as 63.5 football fields.
-TotallyAwesomeUselessInformation

BS WAYS TO UPSET YOUR SPOUSE:
• Record golf over your wedding video.
• Smile, laugh, and say, “I know” when he’s telling you something serious.
• Get engaged to someone else.
• Text her to get you a beer while she’s in the other room.
• If he asks if he is the only ‘one’ that you’ve ever been with, say, “Yes. All the others were nines and tens.”
• Tighten every jar in the house.
• Text back with “K”.
• Steal the covers, of course.
• She just told me 5 minutes ago, but I can’t remember.
• Just be yourself.
-Twitter

Best of BS . . .
BS REJECTED ANNIVERSARY CARDS:
• To another year of not finding anyone better.
• You’re 40! (months behind in your child support payments)
• You’re the best starter husband a girl could wish for!
• Happy “Got Drunk in Vegas and Did Something Stupid Day.”
• I really thought you’d be dead by now.
• I love you… by the way, that dress DOES make you look fat.
• We’re such a great match. I like to travel, and you like to get around.
• When I said “For better or worse”, that was actually rhetorical.
• We need to talk.
-Twitter, first published in ‘BS’ in 2018

BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
• Which is the 2nd-most visited country in the world after France?
a. China.
b. Italy.
c. USA. [CORRECT]
d. Wakanda

• Tripping on something is the #1 cause of accidents in the home. What’s 2nd?
a. Walking into a glass door. [CORRECT]
b. Slipping on the stairs.
c. Falling out of bed.
d. Picking your nose while dealing with hiccups.
– TheEconomist, KATU.com

BS PHONE STARTER:
What’s the coolest-looking vintage vehicle?

BS RANDOM JOKE:
I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question:  The average person spends 1 hour and 32 minutes choosing THIS. What is it?
Answer:  Where to go for Vacation

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
He who has health has hope; and he who has hope has everything.