July 27 2022

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Wednesday, July 27, 2022 – Edition: #7281

Thanks a Sheetload for Choosing “BS”!


The Bull Sheet is headed off for its annual summer holiday and will not be publishing Monday August 1 through Friday August 5. All subscribers will receive credit for the non-service days. The Bull Sheet will resume publication on Monday August 8.

(***UPDATE — watch for dating***) ★ After sharing a statement on his Facebook account Tuesday morning that Tony Dow, best known for his role as older brother ‘Wally Cleaver’ on “Leave It to Beaver,” had died, Dow’s management team has removed the statement. According to Judy Twersky, a longtime friend of Dow’s, he was still alive as of 3:30 p.m. ET, when she spoke to Dow’s wife, Lauren. She indicated Dow is still breathing and receiving hospice care, and she was unclear what happened with the statement from his management team. Dow, who is 77, was thrust into stardom at age 12, when he was cast on the soon-to-be-smash sitcom “Leave It to Beaver.” The show ran from 1957 to 1963.
★ At last, there’s a solution to the ongoing question of which host — Mayim Bialik or Ken Jennings — will ultimately lead “Jeopardy!” The answer: Both. Sony Pictures Entertainment has entered into long-term deals that will have the 2 hosts continue to split duties on the popular syndicated game show, according to a source, while retaining Bialik to host primetime editions of the show as well as the new “Celebrity Jeopardy!” show expected to start up at ABC. With Sony eager to boost more versions of the program, more than one host was required. Bialik continues to work on the Fox sitcom, “Call Me Kat,” which has been scheduled for a second season.
★ It turns out that ‘Eddie Munson’ was such a massive breakout from “Stranger Things 4” that the character saved actor Joseph Quinn from a prolonged detainment at an airport. On “The Tonight Show,” Quinn told Jimmy Fallon that he nearly missed the interview because he got detained by U.S. immigration. Quote: “I was taken into, I guess what you could call it more of a dungeon. And I was asked to wait there for about 20 minutes and then I was summoned to this desk where someone asked me, ‘What are you doing in the United States, sir?’ I said, ‘I’m actually here to meet Jimmy Fallon on ‘The Tonight Show.’ And he didn’t believe me.” It wasn’t until a second immigration officer recognized Quinn as Hellfire Club leader Eddie Munson that Quinn was allowed to enter the country.
★ Samantha Bee’s “Full Frontal” is getting a kick in the rear. The show, which became a signature program for cable network TBS, “will not return to the network in the fall,” according to a statement from Bee’s reps. TBS said: “As we continue to shape our new programming strategy, we’ve made some difficult, business-based decisions.” Over the course of 7 seasons, Bee’s “Full Frontal” brought an aggressive and saucy voice to late-night, and was one of the few programs led by a female point-of-view.
★ Desmond Llewelyn’s James Bond archive is going under the hammer tomorrow for a starting bid of $12,000. Items owned by the ‘Q’ actor from the 007 franchise up for auction include annotated scripts, call sheets and a photo book from “Tomorrow Never Dies”. Nate D Sanders Auctions calls it an “excellent James Bond archive of memorabilia from the only actor to have worked with 5 James Bond actors, from Sean Connery to Pierce Brosnan.” Llewelyn, who died aged 85 in 1999 after a car crash, played MI6’s “gadget master” ‘Q’ in 17 Bond films from 1963 until his death.


• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Steven Yeun, Wiz Khalifa, Hot Milk, guest host Anthony Anderson (R)
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Neil Patrick Harris, Cara Delevingne, Bruce the Robot
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Amanda Seyfried, Stephen Merchant, St. Vincent
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Maren Morris, Art Cruz
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Rebel Wilson, Eugenio Derbez, Joe Zimmerman (R)
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Sara Al Madani, Caroline Stanbury
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Neil Patrick Harris, guest co-host Alyssa Farah Griffin
• “The Talk” (CBS): Zachary Levi
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Lisa Rinna, Jenny Slate, Dr. Sampson Davis
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Chrissy Teigen (R)
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (Check local listings): Renée Zellweger, Judy Greer, Bobby Moynihan, Bryan Adams (R)
• “The Drew Barrymore Show” (Check local listings): Anna Chlumsky, Aida Rodriguez, John Kanell (R)
• “The Challenge: USA” (CBS): A trivia challenge while players hang over the ledge of a 30-story building.
• “Island of the Walking Sharks” (DSC): Wildlife conservationist/biologist Forrest Galante faces pirates, jungles, snakes, and crocodiles as he travels to the coral reefs of the Solomon Islands and Papua New Guinea investigating rumors of a new species of walking shark.
• “Mysteries Decoded” (CW): P.I. Jennifer Marshall and journalist Ozzy Mora investigate chilling claims and a mysterious death at the infamous Cecil Hotel in LA.


• Adele – has announced the rescheduled dates for her Las Vegas residency, which was postponed indefinitely earlier this year. “Weekends With Adele,” will now run Nov. 18-March 25. On her website, Adele wrote: “Words can’t explain how ecstatic I am to finally be able to announce these rescheduled shows…I’m more excited than ever!”
• Macklemore –has revealed that he relapsed during the pandemic. He shared a video on TikTok, set to his new song “CHANT,” in which he said: “I relapsed during the first summer of Covid. Today I have 694 days clean.” He first began treatment for drug and alcohol addiction in 2008, and also suffered relapses in 2011 and 2014. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/5xr37vm9
• Britney Spears – is set to make her musical comeback. She has secretly recorded a duet with Elton John of his song ‘Tiny Dancer’, according to a report. The 2 met at a Beverly Hills recording studio last week to cut a new take on his 1971 classic, and it’ll will be released next month.
• Neil Young — Last month, he was listed as one of the artists taking the stage at the Farm Aid benefit concert in September, but now, he’s throwing cold water on the idea. On his website, Young, who is one of the fundraiser’s founders, wrote: “I will not be at Farmaid this year. I am not ready for that yet. I don’t think it is safe in the pandemic. I miss it very much.”
• ZZ Top — Billy Gibbons said the band feels “somewhat new” with the addition of longtime guitar tech Elwood Francis, who took over for bassist Dusty Hill following his death one year ago today. Quote: “He’s adding a great bit of enthusiasm. When I see [drummer] Frank Beard smiling for the first time in 30 years, I know something good’s happening.” Francis is now sporting a chest-length beard.
• Stevie Nicks — has added a dozen dates to her 2022 U.S. tour. The second leg will begin Sept. 17 in at the Sea.Hear.Now Festival in Asbury Park NJ, followed more festival appearances, and shows in places including LA, Phoenix, Nashville, Charlotte and Tampa, before wrapping up in West Palm Beach on Oct 28.
• Luke Combs – serenaded a cancer warrior at his Columbus OH show over the weekend. Not only did Combs fly Addi her and her family in from California for the sold-out show, he also fulfilled the 17-year-old’s bucket list request by inviting her onstage and singing ‘Better Together’, her favorite song. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/yy4azah5
• Lainey Wilson – Saturday, she delivered a rowdy rendition of Travis Tritt’s 1992 hit ‘T-R-O-U-B-L-E’ on the stage of the Grand Ole Opry. The “Opry Loves the 90s” special showcasing artists covering ‘90s country hits also featured performances by Kelsea Ballerini, Cody Johnson, Midland, Michael Ray, Jimmie Allen, Carrie Underwood, Keith Urban and more. LINK: https://youtu.be/iQqH5hpXXYI
• Rascal Flatts – Their 2015 hit ‘I Like the Sound of That’ has been retooled as a laidback reggae jam for the new compilation album “Country Goes Reggae”. The Jamaican group Positive Vibrations provides new musical arrangements for the collection of country classics and newer hits, which was released last week. Also on the track list: remixed songs by Dolly Parton, Jimmie Allen, Lainey Wilson and more. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/jdrjeaws


Phone-obsessed Hong Kong residents are getting some extra help, so they won’t be forced to remove their faces from their screens at intersections. In an experiment aimed at improving pedestrian safety, devices installed at several road crossings project a red light onto the edge of the sidewalk — as well as any pedestrians standing there — whenever the “Don’t Walk” signal is engaged. The Hong Kong Transport Department says the devices address risk factors such as “inattentiveness” and “heedless crossing”, which have been exacerbated by increased phone usage. The new system is currently in use at 7 crosswalks in the city, and will be monitored for effectiveness. If the 6-month pilot project is a success, the devices will be implemented more widely. A recent survey found that out of 100 Hong Kong pedestrians entering a crosswalk, at least half were interacting with their cellphones.
(I kinda figured this is the type of problem that fixes itself!)
(All the technology in the world is sitting right here in our hands – and we don’t have an app for this?)

There’s nothing quite as relaxing as a Sunday afternoon siesta. Or, a nap on ANY day, really. That’s why it pains me to see this: People who regularly nap have a greater chance of developing high blood pressure and having a stroke, according to a new study. But it may not be the actual act of sleeping during the day that’s doing the damage, says Michael Grandner, who directs the Behavioral Sleep Medicine Clinic at the Banner-University Medical Center in Tucson (and was not involved in the study). He says the connection may be that those who nap often tend to be people who sleep poorly at night, and while “Poor sleep at night is associated with poorer health, naps are not enough to make up for that.” Study participants who typically napped during the day were 12% more likely to develop high blood pressure over time and were 24% more likely to have a stroke compared with those who never napped, according to the study published this week in “Hypertension”, an American Heart Association journal.
(I’ve stopped having Sunday naps anyway. Naps are for the weak — Not the weekend!)
(You do realize that this information is going to pretty much keep me out of church forever!?!?)

If you have to turn on subtitles while watching “Peaky Blinders,” you’re not alone. According to a new survey, TV viewers have a harder time following Tom Hardy’s dialogue than any other actor. And Peaky Blinders, a show that Hardy often appears on, was named the hardest-to-understand TV show. And the results shouldn’t be surprising, as Hardy is famous for playing roles that require him to mumble. The British actor also starred as ‘Bane’ in “The Dark Knight Rises”, as ‘Mad Max’ in “Mad Max: Fury Road”, and in 2 “Venom” movies. Next on the list of hard-to-understand actors are, in order: Sofia Vergara, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sean Connery, Johnny Depp, Jackie Chan, Ozzy Osbourne, and Benedict Cumberbatch. The purpose of the poll was to track subtitle usage among American film and TV viewers.
(Tom Hardy was so hard to understand in “Dark Knight”, that his subtitles needed subtitles!)
(Sofia Vergara? Yes, she’s hard to follow, but I’d follow her anywhere!)

➠ Rickey Henderson missed several games due to frostbite – in August. He had fallen asleep on an ice pack.
➠ Wade Boggs once threw out his back while putting on a pair of cowboy boots. Sammy Sosa did the same thing while sneezing.
➠ Marty Cordova had to go on the injured list after burning his face in a tanning bed.
➠ John Smoltz went on the DL after burning his chest – by ironing a shirt…while wearing it.
➠ Nolan Ryan missed a game after being bit by a coyote.
➠ Steve Sparks dislocated his shoulder attempting to tear a phone book in half.
➠ Terry Harper separated a shoulder high-fiving a teammate.
➠ San Francisco manager Roger Craig cut his hand “undoing a bra strap”.

Exercise does not compensate for a poor diet, according to researchers from the University of Sydney. A new study found that even if you spend all day and night in the gym or running laps, you’re still better off steering clear of fatty, processed foods. The team concluded that high levels of physical activity do not counteract the detrimental effects of a poor diet on mortality risk. They found that those who both exercise frequently and stick to a healthy diet have the lowest risk of death. (Unless they’re exercising in MY neighborhood!)


• “Bagpipe Appreciation Day”, celebrating the ancient musical instrument that’s viewed by some as an obnoxious, migraine-inducing tool of cacophonic destruction. (Good for funerals, though!) Here’s some pipin’ that we can get into: LINK: https://tinyurl.com/m235meb3
…and even though bagpipes were NOT invented in Scotland, it’s also…
• “Scotch Day”, celebrating the malt (or grain) whisky that was originally exclusive to Scotland. All Scotch must be aged in oak barrels for at least 3 years. The first written mention of Scotch whisky is in the Exchequer Rolls (official records) of Scotland from 1495.
• “Korean War Veterans Armistice Day”, commemorating the 1953 negotiated cease-fire that ended the war on the Korean peninsula. During 3 years of fierce struggle, over 600,000 Allied lives were lost.
• “Walk on Stilts Day”, celebrating the feat most often seen in parades and at the circus. Stilt-walking is an ancient art that only requires a pair of stout sticks and lots of practice. (And maybe some butt padding…)
• “Take Your Houseplants for a Walk Day”, Why not do it on stilts?
• “Crème Brûlée Day”, saluting the yummy French dessert consisting of a rich custard base topped with a contrasting layer of hard caramel. It’s normally served at room temperature.
• “Chicken Finger Day”, first made and named in 1976 by the owners/operators of Spanky’s in Savannah GA. One of the original owners continues to operate Spanky’s today, and it is known as the “Home of the Original Chicken Finger”. (What did kids eat before the chicken finger was invented?)

[Thurs] Chili Dog Day
[Thurs] Intern Day
[Fri] Lipstick Day
[Fri] Lasagna Day
This Month is…Cell Phone Courtesy Month

1957 [65] Bill Engvall, Galveston TX, comedian (“Here’s Your Sign”)/TV Actor (“The Bill Engvall Show” 2007-09, “The Jeff Foxworthy Show” 1996-97)/reality TV contestant (“Dancing With the Stars” 2013)

1970 [52] Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, Rudkobing Denmark, TV actor (‘Jaime Lannister’ on “Game of Thrones” 2011-19)

1972 [50] Maya Rudolph, Gainesville FL, TV comic (“Saturday Night Live” 2000-07, 2012, 2015, 2021, “Maya & Marty” 2016) movie actress (“Bridesmaids”, “50 First Dates”)

1975 [47] Alex Rodriguez (‘A-Rod’), NYC, former MLB player (NY Yankees/Seattle/Texas)/14-time All-Star/5-time HR leader/3-time AL MVP

1977 [45] Jonathan Rhys Meyers (O’Keeffe), Dublin Ireland, TV actor (“Dracula” 2013-14, “The Tudors” 2007-10)/movie actor (“Mission: Impossible III”, “Bend It Like Beckham”)

1984 [38] Taylor Schilling, Boston MA, TV actress (‘Piper Chapman’ on “Orange Is the New Black” 2013-19, “Pam & Tommy”, 2022)

1993 [29] Jordan Spieth, Dallas TX, pro golfer (US Masters winner, 2015, US Open winner, 2015; British Open winner, 2017)

1994 [28] Winnie Harlow, Mississauga ON, model (gained prominence as a contestant on “America’s Next Top Model” in 2014 while having a form of the skin condition vitiligo)

1940 [82] Bugs Bunny, voiced by Mel Blanc, makes his debut in “A Wild Hare”

2003 [19] Legendary comedian, movie actor, and TV host Bob Hope dies at age 100 at his home in Toluca Lake, California

1983 [39] Madonna releases her self-titled first album. While it doesn’t burn up the charts, and Rolling Stone calls her voice “irritating as hell”, it eventually spawns the hits ‘Holiday’, ‘Borderline’ and ‘Lucky Star’

1984 [38] The Prince film “Purple Rain” is released. He plays as an upstart musician who clashes with his band. It parallels his life story, but is not strictly autobiographical

2021 [01] Bassist-vocalist Dusty Hill of ZZ Top dies at 72, ending a 51-year run with the same lineup: Hill, Billy Gibbons and Frank Beard

1999 [23] Tony Hawk becomes the first skateboarder to land a “900”

2012 [10] Queen Elizabeth II opens the 30th Olympics in London, UK (with some help from 007)


✓ It takes 200 muscles to take one step.
✓ Saudi Arabia imports camels from Australia.
✓ The world has been at peace only 8% of the time over the last 3,500 years.
✓ The Bermuda Triangle isn’t any more likely to cause a mysterious disappearance than anywhere else.
✓ The inventor of revolving doors did so because he hated opening doors for women.
✓ The patent for the first fire hydrant was lost in a fire.
-WhattheFFacts, BestLife

Best of BS . . .

• Thieves clean out your house, but your lawn furniture mysteriously reappears on the porch the next morning.
• Your folding lawn chairs only fold when you sit in them.
• Your wife installs a “Break Glass in Case of Emergency” box on the front porch, containing a good-sized needle for digging out slivers.
• In your divorce settlement, you got to keep it.
• The ambulance just left with Aunt Gert, and now all you have to do is clean up the mess of broken chair parts on the front porch.
• It’s so old, it was made using absolutely no plastic.
• One of the chairs has the word “Titanic” printed on it.
-First published in BS in 2021

• Clown College entrance exam.
• A test of the emergency broadcast system.
• “Pull my finger”
• “What’s the number for 911?”
• “How old do you THINK I am?”
• “What is the average air speed velocity of a laden swallow?”
• Eye exam
• Blood test
• The one where she asks, “Do these jeans make my butt look big?”
• My patience.
-Twitter, first published in BS in 2019

• Infants have more bones than adults. [TRUE. Babies are born with approximately 300 bones, but have 206 by the time they reach adulthood.]
• Eating chocolate causes acne. [BS.]
• Brad Pitt was the inspiration for Aladdin’s appearance in the 90s Disney movie [FALSE. Tom Cruise was.]
• Beethoven was totally deaf when he composed his classic Ninth Symphony. [TRUE.]
• Sharks are mammals. [BS. They are actually classified as fish.]
• Pirates used to make their victim “walk the plank”. [BS.]
• Hawaiian pizza comes from Canada. [TRUE. it was created in 1962 by Sam Panopoulos in Chatham, Ontario, Canada.]
-UrbanMyth, SignUpGenius

Me when the pizza arrives:  https://tinyurl.com/nb5skn8n

Screaming into a pillow is therapeutic — but it also gets you kicked out of Target.

What was the best part of being a teenager?

Question:  2% of people say they have never washed THIS. What is it?
Answer:  Their pillowcase

Success isn’t the result of the amount of time you put in, but the quality of time you put in.


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