Friday, July 12, 2019 – Edition: #6492

Sheet Happens!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ AMC has found the first three cast members for its third “Walking Dead” series. The new series, which will shoot in Virginia, will star Alexa Mansour, Nicolas Cantu and Hal Cumpston. The show will focus on the first generation to come-of-age in the apocalypse. According to AMC, “Some will become heroes. Some will become villains. In the end, all of them will be changed forever.” It will premiere in 2020.
(I’m pretty sure this is the one where the zombies jump the shark!)
-TheWrap
★ “Shark Week” is about to rear its toothy head. Discovery Channel has released the official schedule for 20 hours of shark-tastic programming from July 28 to Aug. 4. For the first time ever, Discovery Channel is rolling out a scripted, feature-length film just for “Shark Week”: “Capsized: Blood In The Water” — starring Josh Duhamel – which tells the true story of a 1982 shark encounter.
-MySanAntonio
★ The life and career of Patrick Swayze will be highlighted in a forthcoming documentary on the late star. “I Am Patrick Swayze” will explore his childhood in Texas, his rise to stardom, and his relationship with widow Lisa Niemi. The project will feature interviews with his former co-stars, including Sam Elliott, Jennifer Grey, Demi Moore, Rob Lowe, and Kelly Lynch, as well as Niemi, and Patrick’s brother, Don Swayze. I Am Patrick Swayze will debut at the San Antonio Film Festival on Aug. 2 and air in the U.S. on Aug. 18 to mark Swayze’s birthday.
-Canoe
★ The Momo Challenge may have been a viral, Internet hoax, but the premise of the Momo Challenge will now be adapted into a horror movie. The “challenge” sparked hysteria online after it was believed that an image of a demonic chicken lady would pop up during children’s programming and games or on social networking apps and goad children into violent acts. But despite the spread of the image in the media, there was little evidence to suggest that kids were actually taking part in the challenge.
-TheWrap

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Gabrielle Union, DJ Khaled, Vampire Weekend (R)
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Wanda Sykes, Vanessa Bayer (R)
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Adam Sandler, Rep. Will Hurd, Valerie Franco (R)
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Matthew McConaughey, Reba McEntire, Jimmy Buffett (R)
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Sen. Kamala Harris
• “The Talk” (CBS): Marcia Gay Harden, Cat Deeley
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Dave Bautista, Caroline Rhea
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Adam Levine, Dwayne Johnson (R)
• “Shangri-La” (SHOWTIME): Premiere of a four-episode look inside the recording studio of famed producer and Def Jam co-founder Rick Rubin.

SATURDAY-
• “JFK Jr. and Carolyn’s Wedding: The Lost Tapes” (TLC): A behind-the-scenes look at JFK Jr. and Carolyn Bessette’s wedding weekend.
• “Christmas: A First Look Preview Special” (HALLMARK): A sneak peek at the upcoming holiday movies, which begin October 26th.
• “Stalked by My Doctor: A Sleepwalker’s Nightmare” (LIFETIME): After assuming the identity of a doctor at a sleep clinic, the devious Dr. Albert Beck falls for a patient and her beautiful niece — two women who suffer from a similar condition.

SUNDAY-
• “Celebrity Family Feud” (ABC): Maria Menounos vs. Jeannie Mai; NFL Legends vs. NFL All-Stars
• “Moon Landing: The Lost Tapes” (HISTORY): On the 50th anniversary of the historic moon landing, this documentary unearths lost tapes of the Apollo 11 astronauts, and explores the dangers and challenges of the mission to the moon.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Taylor Swift – is #1 on the Forbes Celebrity 100 (earnings) list with an income for the past 12 months of $185 million, a 131% jump over her $80 million haul in 2018. And her new “Lover” album isn’t even out yet. #2 is Kylie Jenner, who pulled in $170 million, and Swift’s on-and-off rival Kanye West is #3 with $150 million.
• Jay- Z — is the latest celebrity to enter the legal weed business. The one-time drug dealer, who has rapped about dealing crack cocaine, will join the California-based cannabis company Caliva as Chief Brand Strategist. Quote: “We want to create something amazing, have fun in the process, do good and bring people along the way.
• Roger Waters – a concert film featuring footage from his “Us + Them” tour is coming to theatres. Filmed in Amsterdam in 2018, it features songs from iconic Pink Floyd albums and Waters’ solo material. “Roger Waters Us + Them” will screen in cinemas worldwide on Oct. 2 and 6.
• AC/DC – singer Brian Johnson’s TV show, “A Life on the Road” will be coming to the U.S. after two seasons on British television. The program, featuring Johnson visiting legends like Robert Plant, Roger Daltrey, Joe Elliott and Dolly Parton, will air on AXS TV beginning Sept. 15.
• Madonna — After a long legal battle, a letter Tupac Shakur wrote to her will be auctioned. The three-page handwritten note was sent by Shakur from prison in 1995. In 2017, bidding on the letter reached $100,000, but Madonna had filed an emergency court order over the auction and won a temporary block on the sale. The auction will open on July 17.
•  John Mellencamp – will once again co-headline Farm Aid this year with Willie Nelson, Neil Young and Dave Matthews. The annual music and food festival to benefit family farmers, will come to East Troy, WI on Sept. 21. Farm Aid has raised $57 million over 30 years.
• Jessica Simpson – will publish her “tell-all” memoir next year. She promises she won’t hold back on any details because hopes to inspire others to ”walk through their fears and defeat their challenges” by addressing her own struggles in the book, which will be released in February 2020.
• Chris Young – is being recognized for his support of music education. His alma mater, Middle Tennessee State University, is set to open the Chris Young Cafe in the fall. It will provide a learning and practice space for aspiring musicians, and serve as a performance venue for music, radio broadcasts, comedy and more.
• Luke Bryan — comes in at #78 on the Forbes Celebrity 100 earnings list for the past 12 months, earning $42.5 million from his “What Makes You Country Tour”, the No. 1 album of the same name and an endorsement deal with Chevrolet. Zac Brown Band clocked in at #95, raking in $38.5 million.

TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
• “Stuber” (R-Rated, Action/Comedy):  When a mild-mannered Uber driver picks up a passenger who turns out to be a cop hot on the trail of a brutal killer, he’s thrust into a harrowing ordeal where he desperately tries to hold onto his wits, his life and his five-star rating. (Kumail Nanjiani, Dave Bautista)
• “Crawl” (R-Rated, Horror):  A young woman, while attempting to save her father during a Category 5 hurricane, finds herself trapped in a flooding house and must fight for her life against alligators. (Kaya Scodelario, Barry Pepper)
• “The Farewell” (PG, Comedy/Drama):  A Chinese family discovers their grandmother has only a short time left to live and decide to keep her in the dark, scheduling a fake wedding to gather friends and family before she dies. (Awkwafina, Tzi Ma)
• “The Art of Self-Defense” (R-Rated, Comedy):  A man is attacked at random on the street. He enlists at a local dojo, led by a charismatic and mysterious sensei, in an effort to learn how to defend himself. (Jesse Eisenberg, Alessandro Nivola)

SHUT UP AND DRIVE:
Uber is turning down the volume in its latest effort at turning up its revenue. One of the new options the company announced this week is what they call “comfort” rides. Those who are OK with paying a little more can be assured of extra legroom, thanks to larger vehicles, their own ideal temperature, and the option for a “quiet ride”. That would be where the driver isn’t all chit-chatty, and basically only talks when necessary, allowing riders down time “if you need to respond to emails or are in the mood for a nap,” according to the company. The changes are part of what Uber calls its response from business  travelers and others who say they would like to work or rest quietly on the way to their destination.
(I thought the only people I could pay to shut up were my kids!)
(OK, ride-hailing services are now officially WAY better than taxis!)
(I’ve actually had an Uber driver offer me a discount if I’D shut up!)
-AP

NEWS OF THE WEIRD:
➢ On a street in a notoriously parking-challenged Toronto neighborhood, someone has taken it upon themselves to paint in their own parking spaces. A picture sent to a newspaper shows two neatly demarcated spaces next to each other and blocked off by a small table with a note attached to it, warning of wet paint. The spaces in front of two homes are long enough for two small vehicles, and are bookended by driveways. A city official said that painting lines by members of the public is not allowed, and if caught, perpetrators could be subject to a fine of $240. (Caught…white-handed?)
➢ A cockatoo named Snowball was able to choreograph 14 dance moves on his own — including headbanging, and even Vogueing — showing that spontaneously moving to music isn’t unique to humans, a study found. The prancing parrot rose to YouTube fame a decade ago when a video of him foot-tapping and head-bobbing to the Backstreet Boys went viral. Now, the study published in the journal Current Biology, shows the bird wasn’t just mirroring his owner, but can actually impulsively move to music, creating a variety of steps on his own, something never before confirmed in the animal kingdom.
(Or on my side of the family…)
➢ When searching for a suspect, law enforcement might use a K-9 to track down a scent. That wasn’t necessary for a recent arrest in Missouri. Police were looking for a person who was wanted for possession of a controlled substance. The suspect hid to avoid police, but apparently passed gas so loudly, he gave up his hiding spot. (Nice job sniffing him out!)
-TorontoStar, MNN, FOX

DID YOU KNOW?
The last Volkswagen Beetle rolled off the line in Puebla, Mexico this week. The original Beetle was designed for Adolf Hitler in the 1930s – and despite this dubious origin, the little car became a symbol of 1960s American counterculture before it was discontinued in all markets except Mexico in 1978. The Beetle was given a facelift and reintroduced in 1998. More than 24 million Beetles have been sold worldwide.
-Bloomberg

BS CHRONOMETER 07.12.19

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1937 [82] Bill Cosby, Philadelphia PA, comedian/actor (“The Cosby Show” 1984-1992, “Cosby” 1996-2000) In 2018, he was tried and found guilty on three counts of aggravated indecent assault.

1943 [76] Christine McVie, Lancashire, England, rock/pop singer/keyboardist (Fleetwood Mac-‘Don’t Stop’, ‘Little Lies’)

1948 [71] Richard Simmons, New Orleans, LA actor/comedian/fitness guru (dedicated his business ventures to helping people lose weight, primarily through his “Sweatin’ to the Oldies” videos)

1951 [68] Cheryl Ladd, TV Actress, Juron, SD (‘Kris Munroe’ on “Charlie’s Angels” 1977-1981)

1975 [44] Cheyenne Jackson, Washington, actor (“American Horror Story” 2015-18)

1978 [41] Topher Grace, NYC, movie actor (“Spider-Man 3”, “Interstellar”)/TV actor (‘Eric Foreman’ on “That ’70s Show” 1998-2005) COMING UP… “Irresistible”, 2020

1978 [41] Michelle Rodriguez, San Antonio TX, movie actress (“Fast & Furious” films, “Avatar”)/TV actress (“Lost” 2005-06, 2009-10) COMING UP…”Fast & Furious 9″, 2020

1980 [39] Kristen Connolly, Montclair NJ, TV actress (“Zoo” 2015-17, “House of Cards” 2013-14)

1983 [36] Kimberly Perry, Ridgeland MS, country singer-guitarist (The Band Perry-‘Better Dig Two’, ‘If I Die Young’)

1988 [31] Ta’Rhonda Jones, Chicago IL, TV actress (‘Porsha Taylor’ on “Empire” since 2015)

1990 [29] Rachel Brosnahan, Milwaukee WI, TV actress (‘Abby Isaacs’ on “Manhattan” 2014-15, ‘Rachel Posner’ on “House of Cards” 2013-15)

SATURDAY- Patrick Stewart (“Star Trek”) is 79;  Harrison Ford (“Indiana Jones”) is 77;  Cheech Marin (“Up in Smoke”) is 73; Director Cameron Crowe (“Jerry Maguire”) is 62; Tom Kenny (“SpongeBob SquarePants”) is 57; Ken Jeong (“The Hangover”) is 50; Steven R McQueen (“Chicago Fire”) is 31; Colton Haynes (“Arrow”) is 31

SUNDAY- Jane Lynch (“Glee”) is 59; Matthew Fox (“Lost”) is 53; Jamey Johnson (‘Honky Tonk Badonkadonk) is 44; Dan Reynolds (Imagine Dragons) is 32; Conor McGregor (MMA) is 31

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Different Colored Eyes Day”, celebrating the diversity of eye color as well as people with eyes that are a different color from one another. Celebs with what’s called ‘heterochromia’ include late rocker David Bowie, actress Mila Kunis, and actor Kiefer Sutherland.

• “Pecan Pie Day”, celebrating one of the most decadent of all desserts. The crust and pecans aren’t necessary … just the yummy goo in the center! Is it ‘PEE-can or ‘puh-CAHN’? Or is it ‘pee-CAHN’?

• “Simplicity Day”, a day to focus on ways to simplify your life. Which would be …?

• “Eat Your Jello Day”, coincidence that it’s also Bill Cosby’s birthday??

• “Paper Bag Day”, the paper bag has become a household staple. Uses include bringing your groceries home, carrying your lunch, curing your hiccups and making puppets. (And carrying a bottle?)

SATURDAY-
• “Beans ‘n Franks Day”. (Tomorrow is ‘Evacuate the Studio Day’)
• “Embrace Your Geekness Day”, a great day to be a Geek … or to know a Geek. Some people view the term with a negative connotation. Are they jealous of your knowledge and skills? Of your pocket protector? Of your taped glasses? (And if you’re not one, embrace one!)
• “French Fries Day”. The ‘French’ in French fries has nothing to do with France, but the method of preparation. Food that’s chipped into pieces is said to be ‘frenched’. It’s thought that French fries most likely originated in Belgium.
• “Gruntled Workers Day”. We always hear about ‘disgruntled’ workers, but what about people who are happy with their jobs and can’t wait to go to work each day? Gruntled workers, this is your day … ya eager-beaver keeners. (And if you’re going to work on a Saturday, you must be REALLY gruntled!)

SUNDAY-
• “Grand Marnier Day”, celebrating the cognac concoction that’s ued in mixed drinks (ie: Cosmopolitan) and in desserts (ie: Crêpe Suzette). It was an 1880s French invention by one Alexandre Marnier-Lapostolle.
• “Shark Awareness Day”, to create awareness that these magnificent creatures are more threatened by people than people are by sharks. Worldwide demand for shark-fin soup and shark-tooth medallions combine to make sharks endangered, with millions killed each year.

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2008 [11] Twins (a girl named Vivienne Marcheline & a boy named Knox Leon) are born to acting couple Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie in Nice, France

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
2007 [12] Rod Stewart is awarded the CBE Order of the British Empire by Prince Charles in a ceremony at Buckingham Palace.

2008 [11] Rolling Stones guitarist Ronnie Wood leaves his wife of 23 years and moves in with an 18-year-old Russian cocktail waitress (the 61-year-old dad-of-four met the teenager while out drinking and whisked her away to his luxury pad in Ireland) Then they got married. Then divorced. Then he married Sally Humphries, who was 34. They have 3-year-old twins together.

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1998 [21] Host country France defeats favored Brazil 3-0 to win its 1st-ever FIFA World Cup, at Stade de France in Saint Denis

TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
2015 [04] Novak Djokovic achieves his 3rd Wimbledon title, denying Roger Federer the all-time record of 8 Wimbledon titles (at least until 2017…)

2018 [01] India’s Shridhar Chillal has his fingernails cut with a power tool at the Ripley’s Believe It or Not! museum in New York City. They measured a record 909.6cm (total) after growing for 66 years

BULL’S BITS

BS WHACK FACTS:
✓ So far, only two diseases have successfully been eradicated: smallpox and rinderpest.
✓ Tennis players are not allowed to swear when playing in Wimbledon.
✓ A baby spider is called a spiderling.
✓ A small child could swim through the veins of a blue whale.
✓ The Twitter bird actually has a name – “Larry”.
✓ The oldest “your mom” joke was discovered on a 3,500 year old Babylonian tablet.
-TheFactSite

LIFE HACKS FOR THE LAZY:
• If you don’t wear pants, you don’t need to wash your pants.
• Put a mini-fridge on top of your Roomba.
• Friends will make you get off the couch, get dressed, and go out and do things. You don’t need that in your life. Don’t have friends
• Bed sores hurt. Remember to change position at least once per week.
• Save valuable effort by removing the doors from all cupboards.
• Pringles lid for a coaster.
• Make your dryer your new closet.
• Chips and salsa in every room.
• Have someone else read this list to you.
• You know they make diapers in adult sizes too, right?
-Twitter

Best of BS . . .
BS LAWS OF GOLFING:
• No matter how bad your last shot was, the worst is yet to come.
• Your best round of golf will be followed almost immediately by your worst round ever.
• Brand new golf balls are water-magnetic.
• The higher a golfer’s handicap, the more qualified he deems himself as an instructor.
• Every par-3 hole in the world has a secret desire to humiliate golfers.
• Golf carts always run out of juice at the farthest point from the clubhouse.
• All 3-woods are demon-possessed.
• The person you would most hate to lose to will always be the one who beats you.
• The last 3 holes of a round will automatically adjust your score to what it really should be.
• Golf should be given up at least twice per month.
– Adapted from FunnyLists.net, first published in ‘BS’ in 2017

BS PHONE STARTER:
If you could visit anyone on the planet this weekend (celebrity or not), who would you go see?

BS RANDOM JOKE:
Does anybody have plans to stare at their phone somewhere exciting this weekend?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: 33% of people have secretly done THIS at work. What is it?
Answer:  Steal someone’s lunch

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
No weekend, all weakened.