Friday, July 5, 2019 Edition: #6487

Another Sheetload of Bull!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ A billboard promoting Luke Perry’s role in the new Quentin Tarantino movie has gone up, appropriately enough, in the heart of Hollywood. The billboard is on Sunset Blvd. and shows Perry in character as Scott Lancer, an actor who appears in a show alongside Leonardo DiCaprio’s fading western TV star Rick Dalton. It reads simply, “Luke Perry is Scott.” “Once Upon a Time in Hollywood,” a project Perry’s son says he “was so proud of,” hits theaters on July 26.
-TheBlast
★ Johnny Depp is sending a subpoena to James Franco after surveillance video from the apartment Depp used to share with ex-wife Amber Heard allegedly shows Franco meeting up with Heard just 24 hours after the blowout fight that ended the couple’s marriage. Depp’s attorney says: “We are interested in James Franco and Elon Musk as fact witnesses because we have evidence they…saw Amber Heard’s face in the days…between when she claimed Mr. Depp smashed her in the face on May 21 and when she went to court with painted-on ‘bruises’ to obtain a Temporary Restraining Order on May 27.”
-MSN
★ Jon Favreau says he found it ”moving and surreal” to hear James Earl Jones record his lines for “The Lion King”. The 88-year-old actor voiced Mufasa in the original animated film and Favreau, who directed the upcoming live action take on the story wanted to keep the ”legacy” of the original film by asking Jones to take on the part again. And with 25 years having passed since the original was released, Favreau thinks the changes to Jones’ voice worked well with his film. He told Empire magazine: ”The timbre of his voice has changed. That served the role well because he sounds like a king who’s ruled for a long time.
(Or he sounds like a “Dark Lord” who has served for a long time…!)
-ContactMusic
★ The re-release of Disney and Pixar’s “Toy Story 2” on 4K and digital is missing a post-credits scene that made a joke about sexual misconduct and alludes to the casting couch in Hollywood. The scene in question is part of a series of blooper-reel style gags that play during the credits. In one, Woody turns around the box of the doll Stinky Pete, the villain in the film voiced by Kelsey Grammer, only to find him with two tall Barbie dolls wearing short skirts.
-TheWrap

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Celine Dion, Chris Tucker (R)
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Sting, KJ Apa (R)
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Bill Hader, James Bay (R)
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Jordan Peele, Phoebe Waller-Bridge, Action Bronson (R)
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): KiKi Layne, John David Washington, Alec Benjamin (R)
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Neil Patrick Harris, David Burtka (R)
• “The Talk” (CBS): Mario Lopez, Gina Torres
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Ricky Gervais, DJ Pauly D, Lance Ulanoff, Goo Goo Dolls
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Reese Witherspoon (R)

SATURDAY-
• “NASCAR Sprint Cup Series” (NBC): The Coke Zero Sugar 400 from Daytona International Speedway in Daytona Beach, Fla.
• “Love Unleashed” (HALLMARK): While hosting a puppy party, Hailey meets single father Ryan. She helps him discover the value of adopting a dog, and teaches him that there’s more to life, especially when falling in love.
• “Lavell Crawford: New Look Same Funny!” (SHOWTIME): Lavell Crawford is back. After losing over 120 pounds, he’s new and improved and ready to tell everyone exactly what’s what.

SUNDAY-
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Robyn Dixon, Keke Palmer
• “Celebrity Family Feud” (ABC): The Victoria’s Secret Angels vs. bachelors from “The Bachelorette”; and Gaten Matarazzo and family vs. Maddie Ziegler and family.
• “Revenge Body with Khloe Kardashian” (E!): Season 3 premiere. Khloé can relate to the participants as she goes on a weight loss journey with them. Just three months after giving birth to baby True, Khloé is back and shares her own story with her mom, Kris Jenner.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Nicki Minaj — will headline the Jeddah World Fest in the usually ultraconservative kingdom of Saudi Arabia. It will take place at the King Abdullah Sports Stadium in the Red Sea city on July 18. In line with Saudi laws, it will be alcohol and drug-free. Liam Payne and Steve Aoki are also slated to perform.
• Rihanna — While attending the Cricket World Cup in England, she ran into Roddy Estwick, one of her favorite teachers while growing up in Barbados. She shared video of their hug, saying: “I love that man…he’s a great man and was a wonderful teacher…He gave me lessons on life that stay with me ’til today.”
• Pharrell Williams — is offering internships to 114 Harlem high school graduates. He is promising “A-list internships” to every 2019 graduate of Promise Academy’s two high schools, providing they go to college and finish their first year.
• Aerosmith – are among the headliners affected by the cancellation of the first “Roxodus Music Festival”, which was scheduled for July 11-14 at an airport near Barrie, Ontario. Organizers said that the venue would not be ready in time due to heavy rain. Lynyrd Skynyrd, Alice Cooper, Cheap Trick, Peter Frampton, Billy Idol, Blondie, Kid Rock and Nickelback were also among more than 20 bands expected to perform. Organizers say information about ticket refunds will be released shortly.
• Foo Fighters — During their set at Lollapalooza Stockholm on Saturday, Dave Grohl spotted the doctor who treated his broken leg in 2015, and proceeded to lead the crowd in singing the song ‘My Hero’ to him. The doctor responded by crowdsurfing all the way to the front, before embracing Grohl on stage and singing the end of the song with him.
• The Who – Singer Roger Daltrey says his voice will “go” in the next five years. According to him, “Age will get it in the end,” but he points out that his voice is “still there at the moment.” The Who’s “Moving On!” tour, has dates scheduled through the fall.
• Tim McGraw — is working with American Airlines to “Stand Up to Cancer”. American is offering a promotion this month where patrons can donate a minimum of $25 to add the name of a loved one who has fought, is currently fighting, or lost a battle with cancer, to the ‘Stand Up to Cancer’ plane that will fly this fall. All donations go toward Stand Up to Cancer’s mission of funding research programs and finding effective new treatments.
• Luke Bryan — is hard at work on his seventh studio album, and he says that when it comes to song selection, he relies on his sons, 11-year-old Bo and 9-year-old Tate, as much as anyone else. Quote: “They don’t have a filter. They’re just like, ‘Dad, I don’t like that one, but keep playing this other one.’ I think Bo’s four for four with number ones.”

THIS WEEK’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
• “Spider-Man: Far from Home” (PG-13, Action/Adventure – opened Tuesday):  Following the events of “Avengers: Endgame”, Spider-Man must step up to take on new threats in a world that has changed forever. (Tom Holland, Samuel L. Jackson, Jake Gyllenhaal)
• “Midsommar” (R-Rated, Horror – opened Wednesday):  A couple travels to Sweden to visit a rural hometown’s fabled mid-summer festival. What begins as an idyllic retreat quickly devolves into an increasingly violent and bizarre competition at the hands of a pagan cult. (Florence Pugh, Jack Reynor)
• “Marianne & Leonard: Words of Love” (R-Rated, Documentary):  An in-depth look at the relationship between the late musician Leonard Cohen and his Norwegian muse Marianne Ihlen. (Leonard Cohen, Judy Collins)
• “Phil” (R-Rated, Comedy/Drama): A depressed dentist in mid-life crisis tries to learn why one of his happiest patients suddenly commits suicide, and a dark comedic adventure ensues. (Greg Kinnear, Eoin Bates)

A SHORT COMMERCIAL BREAK:
Short concert-goers rejoice! Someone has invented “periscope glasses”, which enable the wearer to see over tall people at music festivals and other large gatherings. The glasses add one-foot (30.5cm) of height to the wearers’ normal eye-level. How do they work? The glasses include a small mirror positioned at the bottom of its frame, positioned upwards at a 45-degree angle towards a large mirror (which rests atop a 12-inch stick) which points outwards. Although this new invention isn’t yet available for purchase, it was shown at the Extraordinary Solutions to everyday Problems exhibit in London last month.
LINK: Just so you can picture it
(Wearing a long stick attached to your glasses at a crowded concert?  Nope, I can’t see any problems with that!)
(Never heard of mirrored lenses before?)
(I can’t wait to sit behind some yutz wearing one of these at the theater!)
-Trendings

NEWS OF THE WEIRD:
➢ Amazon’s virtual home assistant, Alexa, is known for being a friendly and polite voice. But one British man says she calls him an expletive after he cancelled his Amazon Prime subscription. Michael Slade says he was surprised to hear his virtual assistant refer to him by a word that starts with ‘S’ and ends with ‘Head’ when he asked it to play music. According to him, “I tried to cancel my subscription and had a short conversation with someone in customer services and the next day my Alexa is calling me names.” He says he called technical support and they “couldn’t believe it. They kept saying sorry but they didn’t know what had happened.” After speaking to Amazon, they gave him £5 ($8) to compensate for the mishap. (Eight bucks? I get called that everyday…for free!)
➢ A Nevada Highway Patrol trooper was stunned after he pulled over a hearse that was driving in the carpool lane, and the driver asked if the corpse he was transporting counted as a passenger. The officer spotted the hearse travelling in the HOV lane on Interstate 15, and noticed the driver appeared to be alone. After pulling the vehicle over, the trooper had no choice but to break the bad news to the driver — cars are only allowed in the carpool lane when they’re carrying at least two “living, breathing people.” He let the driver off with a warning. (If the dead guy counted as a passenger, he would have been nailed for no seatbelt, anyway!)
-Canoe, YahooNews

DID YOU KNOW?
Here’s the science of winning “Rock Paper Scissors”: if playing vs. a man, pick ‘Paper’. Men tend to throw ‘Rock’ first, to feel masculine. If playing vs. a woman, pick ‘Scissors’. Statistically, they’re least likely to pick ‘Rock’.
-The Official RPS

BS CHRONOMETER 07.05.19

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1950 [69] Huey Lewis (Hugh Anthony Cregg III), NYC, pop/rock singer (Huey Lewis & the News -‘I Want a New Drug’, ‘The Power of Love’)/sometime movie actor (“Duets”, “Back To the Future”)

1959 [60] Marc Cohn, Cleveland OH, folk-rock singer (‘Walking in Memphis’)/former husband of TV anchor Elizabeth Vargas

1963 [56] Edie Falco, Brooklyn NY, TV actress (“Nurse Jackie” 2009-15, “The Sopranos” 1999-2007)/winner of 4 Emmys, 2 Golden Globes, and 5 SAG Awards

1980 [39] Pauly D (Paul DelVecchio) Providence RI, reality star/DJ (“Jersey Shore” 2009-12, “Jersey Shore: Family Vacation” 2018-present)

1980 [39] Jason Wade, Camarillo CA, rock singer-guitarist (Lifehouse-‘You & Me’, ‘Hanging by a Moment’)

1982 [37] Dave Haywood, Augusta GA, country musician (Lady Antebellum-‘Bartender’, ‘Need You Now’)

SATURDAY- George Walker Bush (aka ‘Dubya’) is 73;  Sylvester Stallone (“Rocky”) is 73; Peter Mansbridge (CBC’s “The National”) is 71; Geoffrey Rush (“The King’s Speech”) is 68; Jennifer Saunders (“Absolutely Fabulous”) is 61; 50 Cent (‘Candy Shop) is 44; Kevin Hart (“Get Hard”) is 40

SUNDAY- Ringo Starr (“The Beatles”) is 79; Comedian Jim Gaffigan is 53; Amy Carlson (“Blue Bloods”) is 51; Ashton Irwin (“5 Seconds of Summer”) is 25; Maddie Marlow (‘Girl in a Country Song’) is 23

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Calgary Stampede”, the annual rodeo & 10-day festival through July 14th in Calgary, Alberta. “The Greatest Outdoor Show on Earth”, attracts over one million visitors per year and features one of the world’s largest rodeos, a parade, midway, stage shows, concerts, agricultural competitions, chuckwagon racing and First Nations exhibitions (and usually the Prime Minister flipping pancakes while wearing chaps…)

• “Graham Cracker Day”, saluting the wafer developed in 1829 by Presbyterian minister Sylvester Graham who believed consumption of graham flour suppressed “carnal urges”. What’s the best use for graham crackers? Pie crust? S’mores? Moon pies? (Anti-aphrodisiac?)

• “Workaholics Day”, a day to remove your nose from the grindstone … just once. (As Rodney Dangerfield said, “My old man was a workaholic. You mentioned work, he got drunk.”)

• “Bikini Day”, celebrating the July 5, 1946 unveiling of the landmark swimsuit by designer Louis Reard at a Paris press conference, which he described as ‘4 triangles of nothing’. The bikini is named after a tiny Pacific atoll (ring-shaped reef) where the first atomic bomb tests were performed earlier that week.

• “Apple Turnover Day”, also called hand pies because they are so portable, apple turnovers are a pastry made by placing apple filling on a piece of dough, folding the dough over, sealing it, then baking them. Although most turnovers are baked, they can also be fried.

SATURDAY-
• “Running Of the Nudes” in Pamplona, Spain, the annual protest of bullfighting organized by PETA ahead of the famous annual “Running Of the Bulls”.
NET: http://www.runningofthenudes.com
• “World Wife Carrying Championships”, the annual in Sonkajarvi, Finland in which men from around-the-world tote their wives (or a female friend) around an 830-ft (250-m) obstacle course in hope of winning her weight in beer. The current record is 55.5 seconds.
• “Fried Chicken Day”. Don’t know who started it; don’t know why. But then … who cares? Dig in!
• “International Kissing Day”, so presumably you can only kiss someone from another country?

SUNDAY-
• “Chocolate Day”, started by the Confectioners Association to promote what is almost every woman’s (and many a man’s) weakness. Some say chocolate from the New World (mostly Mexico) was introduced to Europe on this date in 1550. Suggestions for today’s menu …
– Breakfast: Chocolate cereal; chocolate cream-filled doughnuts; hot chocolate.
– Morning Snack: Chocolate bar to give you a boost until lunch.
– Lunch: A big tall glass of chocolate milk; chocolate pie or pudding for dessert.
– Afternoon Snack: Chocolate covered raisins, which contain both vegetable and fruit.
– Dinner: Chocolate liqueur aperitif; chocolate-flavored coffee; chocolate cake.
– Evening Snack: Chocolate ice cream, of course!
• “Father-Daughter Take a Walk Together Day”. If she’s a teenager, good luck! Like, are you tryin’ to embarrass her or what?
• “Global Forgiveness Day”, begun in 1994 as an excuse for us to get in touch with our need to forgive and be forgiven. A good day to knock that chip off your shoulder and make peace.
• “Macaroni Day”, saluting one of the more popular forms of Italian pasta. How would the average student survive without mac & cheese?
• “Tell the Truth Day”, challenging each of us to go an entire day without telling a lie or saying anything misleading or dishonest. Is this possible? (If you say ‘yes’, you’re lying!)

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1989 [30] The pilot episode of “Seinfeld” airs (originally titled “The Seinfeld Chronicles”). The show, starring Jerry Seinfeld, Jason Alexander, Julia Louis-Dreyfus and Michael Richards, would last for 180 episodes through 1998

2000 [19] “Big Brother” premieres in the U.S., but fails to generate the same buzz it experiences in other versions worldwide (even so, season 21 is now underway)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1607 [412] Britain’s national anthem ‘God Save the King’ (Queen) is first sung in public

2008 [11] Katy Perry’s ‘I Kissed a Girl’ hits #1 in the US, where it stays for seven weeks. Perry’s first chart-topper, it’s a startling turnabout from just seven years earlier, when she was a gospel singer recording under her real name: Katy Hudson

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1996 [23] ‘Dolly’ the sheep, the 1st mammal to be successfully cloned from an adult cell, is born at the Roslin Institute in Scotland (named after Dolly Parton)

TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
2003 [16] Serena Williams captures her 2nd consecutive Wimbledon tennis title with a 3-set victory over her sister Venus

2012 [07] ‘The Shard’ in London, England is inaugurated as the “Tallest Building in Europe”, with a height of 310 meters (1,020 ft)

BULL’S BITS

BS WHACK FACTS:
✓ Because of the rotation of the earth, an object can be thrown farther if it is thrown west.
✓ Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds, while dogs only have about ten.
✓ A giraffe can go without water longer than a camel.
✓ A rainbow can be seen only in the morning or late afternoon because it can occur only when the sun is 40 degrees or less above the horizon.
✓ “Tom Sawyer” was the first novel written on a typewriter.
✓ Non-dairy creamer is flammable.
-DJTech

BS STUPID QUESTIONS FOR STONERS:
• If you smoke weed on a boat, does that mean it’s sea weed?
• If you drop soap on the floor, is the floor clean or is the soap dirty?
• In the word “scent”, is the ‘S’ or the ‘C’ silent?
• Why does Mercedes have 3 E’s all pronounced differently?
• How many Lowe’s would Rob Lowe rob if Rob Lowe could rob Lowe’s?
• If Maria had 10 joints and she smoked 9, why is there cake left in her fridge?
• What if 9/11 happened on 420?
• What were we just talking about?
• What were words called before someone came up with the word “word”?
• Got any weed?
• Have you seen Dave?
-Twitter

BS FAMILY VACATION DON’TS:
• Don’t play ‘Punch-buggy’ unless you are prepared to deal with the consequences.
• Don’t head toward the banjo music.
• Don’t eat Mexican food the night before your scuba diving excursion.
• Don’t sneak out of the hotel while your wife and kids are sleeping to go to a strip club next door and end up getting arrested and taken to jail. Just sayin’.
• Don’t ask if we’re there yet. I’ll say “You are” and kick you out of the car.
• Don’t pull Uncle Carl’s finger.
• Don’t tie Aunt Edna to the roof.
• Don’t ask for directions (applies to men only).
• Don’t let Jesus take the wheel. That’s just a figure of speech.
• Don’t make me stop this car!!
-Twitter, first published in ‘BS’ in 2018

BS PHONE STARTER:
What is a sure-fire way to distract you from the task at hand?

BS RANDOM JOKE:
I met a drunk ventriloquist who said she wanted to sleep with me but I didn’t know whether it was her or the beer talking.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question:  58% of dog owners know that people roll their eyes when they do THIS for their dog.
Answer:  Sing ‘Happy Birthday’

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
The real problem is not whether machines think, but whether men do.