July 8 2020

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Wednesday, July 8, 2020 – Edition: #6735

Sweet Sheet!

★ Leslie David Baker, who played ‘Stanley Hudson’ for all nine seasons on “The Office”, wants to bring the beloved character back to the small screen. Last week, he began teasing Stanley’s potential return in a series of videos on Instagram. Sitting on his porch in a bright Hawaiian shirt, Baker assumed his character’s famously grumpy mannerisms, saying: “Yeah, I’m back. And I’m going to need a cocktail if I’m staying.” He directed fans to click a link, which navigates to a Kickstarter page for a project called “Uncle Stan: Coming Out of Retirement”.
★ J.K. Rowling says she has received “death and rape threats” since coming under fire for her comments about transgender rights. She hit headlines last month after questioning the idea that “sex isn’t real” in a series of tweets, which LGBTQ+ activists condemned as transphobic – comments she later explained but refused to retract in a lengthy blog post.
★ Tom Cruise is set to resume shooting “Mission: Impossible” films in the UK. The British government has given the green light for production to restart on the seventh and eighth instalments of the action franchise, which had been on hold since March due to the coronavirus pandemic. Cast and crew will be required to operate in a “bubble” and will only be allowed to travel to their accommodation and production location – preventing them from going to public places.
★ As Amazon reportedly mulls whether or not to evict “The Dukes of Hazzard” from its Prime Video streaming service, the Volo Auto Museum in Crystal Lake, Illinois has announced that the Duke boys’ signature car won’t have to find a new garage. The 1969 Dodge Charger known as “The General Lee” sports the Confederate flag, but museum director Brian Grams says that a car museum is a suitable place to display a piece of automobile — and television — history. Quote: “We’ve got people of all races and nationalities that remember the TV show and aren’t offended by it whatsoever. It’s a piece of history and it’s in a museum.”
-Yahoo, CNN

• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Amy Schumer, Jaime Harrison, guest host Billy Eichner
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Mike D & Ad-Rock, Anna Kendrick, John Prine (R)
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Kumail Nanjiani, Andra Day, Elmo (R)
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Mayor Keisha Lance Bottoms, Leslie Jones (R)
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Jeff Goldblum, James Blake (R)
• “Conan” (TBS): Lisa Kudrow
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Cecily Strong, Erika Jayne
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Stacey Abrams (R)
• “The Talk” (CBS): Clint Black, Phil Keoghan
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Adam Scott, Gabby Barrett, Val Chmerkovskiy, Jenna Johnson
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Riz Ahmed, Jay Sean
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): Jordan Karcher, Pierce Brosnan, Mickey Sumner, Emmanuel Kelly, Elizabeth Ries
• “Tough as Nails” (CBS): Series premiere. The cast – including a welder, firefighter, farmer, roofer and a Marine Corps veteran — is introduced; wheelbarrow navigation and bricklaying skills are tested.

• Kanye West — has filed to trademark the phrase ”West Day Ever”. He wants to use the catchphrase on more than 100 types of apparel, including t-shirts, hoodies, tracksuits, bomber jackets, turtlenecks, jumpsuits, g-strings, beanies, blazers, infant wear, and footwear.
• Juice WRLD – His first posthumous album has been announced. “Legends Never Die” arrives this Friday, and will feature ‘Life’s a Mess’, his collaboration with Halsey.
• Linkin Park — the RocknMob YouTube channel has debuted an impressive video of fans covering the band’s song ‘In the End’. The video, recorded in quarantine, features 266 fans from 35 countries singing and playing instruments. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/y9aebh6t
• Elton John – is the latest British legend to be commemorated on an official U.K. coin. The £5 coin’s design is based on the straw-hat-and-bow-tie look John sported on the cover of his 1974 “Greatest Hits” LP, including sunglasses made up as a pair of musical notes.John called it “a fabulous honour” and “another truly humbling milestone on my journey.”
• Queen — Drummer Roger Taylor says that a sequel to the band’s biopic “Bohemian Rhapsody” is unlikely. Quote: “I have to say no. I really do think that we need to sit back for a year or two and look at things and see if that is a believable or credible thing to do…But I think I wouldn’t want to be seen as cashing in again. I’d have to have a very, very good script and scenario to make that work.”
• Garth Brooks — fans had to put their song requests on hold when he postponed last night’s scheduled Facebook concert with wife Trisha Yearwood “out of an abundance of caution” after their camp was possibly exposed to COVID-19. A statement says they are fine, and will be quarantining for 2 weeks.
• Luke Bryan – posted an online tribute to Charlie Daniels, who died Monday morning at 83. Bryan uploaded a photo of himself performing with Daniels and wrote: “What a hero. A true patriot, Christian, and country music icon. Thank you for all your contributions on and off the stage.”

There’s one old saying you can throw out the window. Money CAN buy you happiness, according to a new study. Research published in the scientific journal “Emotion” found that financial success has been increasingly linked to happiness over the past few decades. Here is what they found: Among US adults aged 30 and up, the positive correlation between socioeconomic status – which includes income, education, and occupational prestige – and happiness grew steadily stronger between the 1970s and 2010s. Between the 1970s and now, the “happiness” of those with money was “fairly stable,” while the happiness of low economic status “steadily declined”. The researchers concluded that the “happiness is more strongly related to income now than it was in the 1970s and 1980s”, so yes, “Money buys more happiness now than in the past.”
(Maybe so. But just once, couldn’t I find out for myself?)
(Maybe it can, maybe it can’t. But give me $100, and watch me smile!)
(I don’t know if money can buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with!)

With many areas sweltering their way through a summer heat wave, Canada’s Chief Public Health Officer says that you should skip the mask when it’s too hot and humid. As we all know, when breathing through a mask, your body needs to work a little harder. Throw in uncomfortable humidity and heat, and things can actually get dangerous because your body is also warming up that air, making it even more uncomfortable. So, Dr. Theresa Tam tweeted out a statement saying: “Non-medical masks or cloth face coverings can make breathing difficult in high heat & humidity. When outside in a #heatwave, 2m. #PhysicalDistancing is best. Save the mask for indoors when you can’t keep your distance.” Other examples of when it is OK not to wear a mask include: when on a run or bike ride, walking your dog, or whenever you are able to keep a good distance away from others outdoors.
(That’s good news for me. Because when I’m wearing a mask, my glasses fog up, and I can’t go anywhere anyway!)
(I’m blessed with the fact that others always cross the street when they see me coming!)

The are plenty of good reasons to exercise, but I’m willing to bet you weren’t aware of this one: It’s good for your eyes. Researchers from the University of Virginia’s School of Medicine have found that exercise can help prevent, or at least slow down, vision loss. More specifically the findings suggest that exercise is particularly effective at battling macular degeneration, one of the most common causes of blindness. Working out may also help prevent other eye problems including glaucoma and diabetic retinopathy. And even better, according to the study, you don’t have to work out all that hard to reap these visual rewards. In the study, using mice, all that mattered was that they were exercising, not the intensity of the activities. And more exercise did not necessarily lead to more protection.
(Odd…then why is it that all the girls at the gym don’t seem to be able to see me?)
(Ah, this explains all those mouse gym-selfies I’ve been seeing lately!)
(They used mice in the study? Anyone know where I can get an exercise wheel?)

➢ My daughter calls corn on the cob holders “corn chargers” and I think we should just let 2 year olds name everything from now on. – @LurkAtHomeMom
➢ My daughter just called a cemetery a person garden. I’m not even sure what she thinks is happening there. – @java_assassin
➢ My son calls Toys R Us “Toys Or Else” – @ElitatheLibra
➢ My son calls pudding “chocolate jello” and I’m not sure if he’s an idiot or a genius. – @thedad
➢ My son calls dessert his “bonus round” and I think we should all follow his lead. – @ValeeGrrl
➢ This morning my three-year-old called a doughnut a cake bagel so that’s what they’re called from now on. – @Swishergirl24
➢ My 4 year old calls snot “sneeze gravy” and I’m pretty sure that will clinch a full scholarship to Harvard. – @Tw1tter_K1tten
➢ My son calls them “please cars” because any time I speed past a cop he hears me mutter “please don’t pull me over!” – @HenpeckedHal
➢ My 4-year-old calls Dunkin’ Donuts “Drunken Donuts.” I was going to correct her. Then I realized it was the best idea ever for a bakery. – @XplodingUnicorn

Research shows that the ideal sleep position is on your side. Dr. Robert Hayden, a Georgia-based chiropractor and spokesperson for the American Chiropractic Association, says this position keeps your spine straight and aligned by helping “prevent stress points that may aggravate joints and connective tissue.” Additionally, side sleeping is crucial for those who snore or suffer from sleep apnea since it’s an effective way to keep your airways open. (I just haven’t yet found a way to do that comfortably in my recliner…)


1944 [76] Jeffrey Tambor, San Francisco CA, TV actor (‘Maura Pfefferman’ on “Transparent” 2014-17, “Arrested Development” 2003-06, 2013, 2018)/movie actor (“Hangover” films)

1951 [69] Anjelica Huston, Santa Monica CA, TV actress (“Smash” 2012-13)/movie actress (“Prizzi’s Honor”, “The Addams Family”)

1958 [62] Kevin Bacon, Philadelphia PA, movie actor (“Apollo 13”, “Footloose”)/ TV actor (“The Following” 2013-15)/Hollywood Walk of Fame (2003)

1961 [59] Toby Keith, Clinton OK, country singer (‘Red Solo Cup’, ‘I Love This Bar’)/sometime movie actor (“Beer For My Horses”, “Broken Bridges”)

1970 [50] Beck (Hanson) [Bek David Campbell], LA CA, alt-rock singer (‘Loser’, ‘Dreams’)

1977 [43] Milo Ventimiglia, Anaheim CA, TV actor (‘Jack Pearson’ on “This Is Us” since 2016)

1982 [38] Sophia Bush, Pasadena CA, TV actress (“Chicago P.D.” 2014-17, “One Tree Hill” 2003-12)

1985 [35] Jamie Cook, Sheffield UK, indie rock guitarist-songwriter (Arctic Monkeys-‘Do I Wanna Know?’, ‘I Bet You Look Good On the Dancefloor’)

1998 [22] Jaden Smith, Malibu CA, movie actor (“The Karate Kid”, “The Pursuit of Happyness”)/son of Will Smith & Jada Pinkett Smith

• “Be a Kid Again Day”, when we’re encouraged to participate in activities we enjoyed as a child and to introduce them to a kid we know. (“OK Zachary, this is known as ‘playing outdoors’ …”)

• “Ice Cream Sundae Day”, a day to create your own sundae from all your favorite toppings. The first sundae was purportedly created on this date in 1881 by Edward Berner in Two Rivers WI. (and they couldn’t have this on a Sunday??)

• “National Milk Chocolate with Almonds Day”, Milk chocolate is a type of chocolate that contains milk in the form of condensed milk, liquid milk, or milk powder. According to the U. S. Food and Drug Administration regulations, it must contain at least 12% milk solids. It has a sweeter and lighter taste than bitter or dark chocolate.

• “Math 2.0 Day”, celebrates math and technology, specifically the intersection between the two. Today, mathematicians, educators, innovators, and policymakers come together to celebrate and to raise awareness about math literacy and education. (Figures…)

• “SCUD (Savor the Comic, Unplug the Drama) Day”, to remind people of the benefits of spending more time in the ‘Comic Zone’ and less in the ‘Drama Zone’. Today, step back, relax and laugh, and leave the drama alone. (I particularly enjoy those who claim they hate drama, and feel the need to dramatically complain about it…)

[Thurs] Call of the Horizon Day
[Thurs] Fashion Day
[Fri] National Kitten Day
[Fri] Teddy Bear Picnic Day

1999 [21] “Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban,” the third book of the series by J. K. Rowling, is first published (exactly one year later, “Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire” is published)

2011 [09] UK prime minister David Cameron announces an inquiry into “News of the World”, allegedly involved in a phone hacking scandal (eventually what was once the world’s most-read English-language newspaper folds)

2006 [14] Queen guitarist Brian May makes a ‘substantial donation’ to save hedgehogs from a cull by Scottish Natural Heritage in the Outer Hebrides, off the west coast of Scotland

1947 [73] It is reported that a UFO crash-landed in Roswell, New Mexico. Although the Air Force explains it was actually a downed weather balloon, the Roswell Incident spurs numerous conspiracy theories about alien activity and government cover-ups

1977 [43] Sabra Starr finishes the longest-ever recorded belly dance (100 hrs)


✓ For the Apollo 11 moon landing conspiracy theory to be true, over 400,000 people would need to be part of the secret.
✓ Mr. Rogers was an ordained minister.
✓ Rubber is one of the ingredients in bubble gum.
✓ Kleenex tissues were originally used as filters in gas masks.
✓ In 2003, archaeologists in Venezuela discovered fossilized remains of a guinea pig the size of a cow.
✓ Oklahoma declared watermelon a vegetable and made it their official state vegetable.
-Twitter, RandomFactGenerator

Best of BS . . .

• “He’s cute. Is he a rescue?”
• “Does she shed?”
• “Is this your mother?”
• “Did she finally tell you that the baby isn’t yours?”
• “When did you decide to settle?”
• “Who wears the pants in the family?”
• “Have you seen the movie “Indecent Proposal”?”
• “Have you met his wife yet?”
• “Are you expecting ugly children?”
• “So, how’s the sex?”
-Twitter, first published in BS in 2019

• You have to attach an orange antenna flag to your kid before she plays outside.
• Your lawn flamingo was taken down by hungry jackals.
• Taking out the garbage requires a machete and a 4-day supply of water.
• Suddenly your yard is THE hot spot to watch bison do it.
• The last time it was cut, the neighbor kid did it for 5 bucks. Today, his son wants a hundred.
• Your ABOVE-ground pool is now an IN-ground pool.
• The kids went out to play in the backyard on Friday after dinner and by Sunday at noon, there is still no sign of them.
• You start to hear growling sounds similar to the ones on the National Geographic special on the Savannas.
• The mailman has woven the grass over the sidewalk into an artistic arch so he can get to the front door.
• You see your kids laying down a trail of bread crumbs as they leave the house.
-First published in BS 2004

➠ Police have retrieved a stolen ATM from a West Philly house, taken during the George Floyd riots. Two men were arrested. (If convicted, prison time will be “10” “20” “30” or “Other Amount of Years.”)
➠ A study suggests that we only have a limited amount of self-control in our lifetime, and we can actually run out of it.  (Scientists came to this conclusion by going to TMZ.com and searching for “Miley Cyrus”.)
➠ I just read that about 30% of men nap in the nude. (I do too. But it DOES seem to bug the other passengers on this bus…)
➠ Joey Chestnut won the 2020 Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest on Saturday by eating a world-record 75 hot dogs to capture the famed mustard-yellow belt for a 13th time. (But if you want more info . . . make sure you put “safe search” on before Googling “hot dog eating champ.”)
➠ Fact of the Day:  Prostitutes in northern Spain are required to wear reflective vests for safety.  (See kids!??  Protection is IMPORTANT.)

It never gets old:  https://tinyurl.com/yaxjl3ya

(Run down the list while your participant decides which choice is more palatable …)
• Be ugly but smell amazing or be handsome/beautiful but stink?
• Have hiccups for the rest of your life or constantly feel like you have to sneeze?
• Speak every language fluently or play every instrument perfectly?
• Have everyone older than you talk like an adult from Charlie Brown or everyone younger then you talk like a Minion?
• Give up access to the internet or give up access to motor vehicles?
• Have to sprint every time you use your legs, or have to yell anytime you want to say something?
• Get stuck at all red lights in traffic, or have incredibly slow internet after dark?
• All songs exist but they are all performed by Pitbull, or only one Pitbull song exists but it’s performed as a cover by every other artist?

What’s the strangest thing you’ve seen in someone else’s home?

I hate it when I gain ten pounds for a role and then realize I’m not even an actor.

Question:  22% of people have done THIS while flying. What is it?
Answer:  Snored

The best way to destroy an enemy is to make him a friend.


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