Wednesday, June 23, 2004        Edition: #2807
Our Sheet Don’t Stink!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
TODAY actress Ashley Judd (“De-Lovely”) will be introduced as the face of Estee Lauder’s new skin care & cosmetics brand ‘American Beauty’ . . . CARAS (The Canadian Academy of Recording Arts & Sciences) is now seeking proposals for a permanent home for the “Canadian Music Hall of Fame” which now only exists online . . . Singer Enrique Iglesias wants to be a Hollywood leading man so badly he’s started taking elocution lessons to remove his Spanish accent . . . 33-year-old model Claudia Schiffer & Brit movie producer-husband Matthew Vaughn are expecting their 2nd child . . . 26-year-old “Lord of the Rings” actress Liv Tyler & rocker-husband Royston Langdon of Spacehog are expecting their 1st (which will make Aerosmith’s Steven Tyler a grandpa) . . . Film studios & movie theaters are joining forces to offer rewards up to $500 to theater employees who nab people using camcorders to record films (they’ll make citizen’s arrests?) . . . “Fight Club”, the novel-turned-Brad Pitt-movie, is now being developed as a – stage musical (“You make me punchy …”) . . . Cancelling the remainder of the “Onyx Hotel Tour” has reportedly cost Britney Spears a potential $10 million . . . Britain’s Prince Andrew is said to have a new girlfriend – Canadian millionaire Louise MacBain, who made a fortune with Trader Classified Media (“Auto Trader”, etc) and now owns snooty “Art & Auction” magazine . . . And actor Ben Affleck’s big win at the “California State Poker Championship” not only pays him $356,400 but also guarantees him  a seat at NEXT YEAR’S “World Poker Tour Championship” in Las Vegas.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Finger Eleven – They won ‘Best Video’ for “One Thing” at the “2004 MuchMusic Video Awards”.
• Maria Mena – The “You’re the Only One” singer/songwriter is just 18-years-old. She’ll be on this summer’s “Teen People Rock ‘n Shop Mall Tour” beginning JULY 10th in Orlando FL.
• Third Day – The Atlanta-based Christian rockers already have 4 gold albums, a platinum album, a “Grammy Award”, and 21 Gospel Music Association “Dove Awards”.
• Martina McBride – Members of her official fan club can buy preferred tickets for her upcoming AUGUST shows with Alan Jackson by showing their membership cards at the box office.
• Black Eyed Peas – Singer Fergie has asked her record label to increase security at her London apartment after an obsessed fan broke into the backyard and stole her underwear off a clothesline.
• Fantasia Barrino – TONIGHT the “American Idol” winner does “Tonight Show With Jay Leno”.
• Los Lonely Boys – The 3 Garza brothers (Henry on guitar, Jojo on bass & Ringo on drums), from a tiny town in West Texas, have been making music together since they were little kids.

TODAY’S MOVIE OPENING:
“White Chicks” (PG-13 Comedy): Keenen Ivory Wayans directs his brothers Shawn & Marlon who play disgraced FBI agents that go waaay undercover as white women in an effort to protect hotel heiresses the ‘Wilson Sisters’ (a thinly disguised send-up of the Hilton sisters) from a kidnapping plot. Filmed in Vancouver and Chilliwack BC.

NEW-CENTURY JARGON:
New terms leaking into the lingo –
• ‘Heteroflexible’ – A heterosexual person who is open to relationships with people of the same sex. (In other words, a straight person who can be talked into it.)
• ‘Chugger’ – A professional fundraiser who approaches people on the street to ask for money on behalf of a charity. (We used to call ‘em panhandlers.)
• ‘Undecorating’ – Making over a home or room to give it a simpler, less cluttered look. (Also known as ‘divorce’.)

SNACK PIGGIES:
Despite the fact that Kiev, Ukraine has one of the highest rates of death from heart disease in Europe, an upscale restaurant there is serving up a local favorite – chocolate-covered pork fat. The ‘S’-shaped treat called ‘Chocolate Salo’ (nicknamed ‘Ukrainian Snickers’) is said to be salty on the inside and sweet on the outside. Health critics say it’s one of the most unhealthy snacks in the world. (Bet your listeners can think up others.)
– BBC

NOW SWEAT CAN CATCH DRUGGIES:
The UK’s Global Detection & Reporting has developed a drug testing kit which, unlike other methods, does not require urine samples. ‘DrugWipe’ is a fleece strip that detects tiny amounts of drugs in human sweat or on any shiny surface.  It can identify even trace amounts of amphetamines, cannabis, cocaine and opiates. If the test is positive, a red line shows up on a pen-like probe. However, the fact that DrugWipe can be used without the knowledge of the person being tested is causing controversy. (Good or bad?)
– ANI

CAN THERE BE TOO MUCH SLEEP?
Australian researchers say too much sleep can be as big a problem as not enough. People who suffer ‘reverse insomnia’ regularly oversleep and end up getting far more than nature dictates. Those extra few hours per night can make them feel as lousy as insomniacs. (None of these people ever did morning radio.)
– “Sunday Mail”

ODDS ARE:
An unidentified Canadian has bet $110,000 with UK bookmaker Ladbrokes that US President Bush will be re-elected, the largest bet the firm has ever taken on an American election. Odds were posted at 8 to 11 that Bush would win, meaning the wager will win back the 110 grand plus another $80,000 if Dubya is re-elected … or at least it would have – the massive bet has caused the odds to be lowered to 4/6.
– “The Scotsman”

BAAA – URP!
A molecular biologist at Australia’s CSIRO Institute has developed a vaccine that reduces methane emissions – when sheep or cows belch. The serum has been found to reduce the methane emissions of sheep by as much as 8%. Sheep normally produce 7 kg (15 lbs) of methane per year and cows as much as 114 kg (250 lbs)! (How do we get some of this stuff for the studio?)
– “Technology Review”

AMERICA’S SUNNIEST STATES:
1. Arizona
2. California
3. Nevada
4. New Mexico
5. Texas
(The ‘Sunshine State’, Florida, ranks 6th.)
– New stats from National Weather Service.

LEAST-RESPECTED PROFESSIONS:
1. Politician
2. Real Estate Agent
3. Lawyer
4. Car Dealer
5. Advertising Executive
– “Today” poll.

ALSO FROM THE BS POLL VAULT:
• 80% of e-mail spam is now being generated by so-called ‘zombie home PCs’, infected with spam Trojans.
• 40% of pet owners are carrying a picture of their pets in their wallets.
• 24% of women say the worst thing a man can do on a first date is exhibit lousy table manners.
• 11% of brides-to-be say they’d love liposuction as a pre-wedding present.
•  3.7% of all fatalities involve work-related causes.

THE BULL SHEET 06.23.2K4

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1947 [57] Bryan Brown, Sydney AUS, movie actor (“Along Came Polly”, “F/X”)

1957 [47] Frances McDormand, Chicago IL, movie actress (“Almost Famous”, Oscar-“Fargo”)/married to filmmaker Joel Coen (“O Brother, Where Art Thou?”) since 1984

1972 [32] Selma Blair, Southfield MI, movie actress (“Legally Blonde”, “Cruel Intentions”)

1977 [27] Jason Mraz, Mechanicsville VA, pop singer (“Curbside Prophet”)  FACTOID: His last name is of Czech origin and means ‘snow’.

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
TONIGHT funnyman Tom Green hosts “Canada’s Walk of Fame Tribute Celebration & Gala” at Toronto’s Roy Thomson Hall live on Global-TV. This year’s inductees include jazz singer Diana Krall, rockers John Kay & Steppenwolf, movie director Denys Arcand, actress Shirley Douglas (Donald Sutherland’s ex-/Kiefer Sutherland’s mom), hockey great Mario Lemieux & actress Helen Shaver (“The Color of Money). Also honored posthumously, Canadian-born Hollywood pioneers Mary Pickford (‘America’s Sweetheart’ actress), Louis B Mayer (MGM), Jack Warner (Warner Bros) and Mack Sennett (“Keystone Cops”). 85 famous Canadians have been added to Canada’s Walk Of Fame since it began in 1998.
NET: http://www.canadaswalkoffame.com

TODAY in Northern Europe is “Midsummer Eve”, celebrating the beginning of summer with maypoles, music, dancing and bonfires.

TODAY is “Let It Go Day”, day to get over whatever is bugging you (“We’d like to take this opportunity to wish [co-host] all the best whatever she ends up doing next …”). The object of the day is to release negativity from one’s life and begin to look at things in a more positive light.

TOMORROW is the annual “Celebration of the Senses”, when you’re encouraged to treat yourself to stimulation of each of your 5 senses. Ask listeners what would be the greatest sensation treat for each (then get ready to hit the bleeper button!). Here are some fun experiments involving each of the senses to try – they’re meant for kids, but then … aren’t we all?
NET: http://faculty.washington.edu/chudler/chsense.html

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1979 [25] ‘New wave’ rockers the Knack release “My Sharona”

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1974 [30] 1st ‘extraterrestrial message’ sent from Earth into space

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1982 [22] World’s ‘heaviest domestic cat’, Himmy, weighed in Australia at 20.7 kg or 45 lb (imagine scooping that litter box!)

COMING UP . . .
[Thurs] Discovery Day (NL)
[Thurs] Fête Nationale or St-Jean-Baptiste Day (QC)
[Fri] Take Your Dog To Work Day    
[Mon] Canadian Federal Election
[Tues] 3 Doors Down/Nickelback tour begins (St Paul MN)
[July 5] 50th Anniversary of Rock ‘N Roll
This Week Is . . . Canadian Hire a Student Week
This Month Is . . . Effective Communications Month

BULL’S BITS . . .
BS SIGNS YOUR CELLPHONE IS TOO DAMN SMALL:
• Numbers must be dialed by a team of specially-trained microbes.
• Sudden gust of wind lodges it in your ear canal.
• Tired of constantly looking for it, you attach a pager to it.

TOP SWAPS:
The week’s most requested music files online …
1. “Roses” – OutKast
2. “Burn” – Usher
3. “The Reason” – Hoobastank
4. “Everytime” – Britney Spears
5. “On Fire” – Lloyd Banks
– “Big Champagne”

BS INTERVIEW:
Gerald Picard of Brantford ON is a self-proclaimed ‘handologist’ who claims our hidden personality traits are revealed by the size, shape and other features of our hands. For instance, Democratic presidential candidate John Kerry has a long thumb which Picard says shows he’s obstinate, tyrannical & short-tempered. Hillary Rodham Clinton has a longer 1st finger than 3rd finger which, according to Picard, indicates she hates losing and has a high sex drive. So is it thumbs up for Harper or Martin in Monday’s federal election?
PHONER: 866.485.5556 (arrange through Hushion House Publishing)

BS ‘WHOSE REAR END?’ GAME:
Just like ‘Name the Tune’ – only backwards. Play the LAST few notes of a tune, then have listeners try to identify the artist and song by guessing ‘Whose Rear End?’.

BS PHONE STARTERS:
• Seems like every couple has ‘our song’, the one that reminds them of their first date or a special moment in their relationship. Ask listeners for the strangest ‘our song’.
• If you had money to burn, where would you get married?

BS BLATANT JOKES:
• I’m not spoiled … I just smell that way.
• And the weekend forecast calls for … a new weatherman.
• Thesbian: An actress who likes other women.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: According to a survey, the #1 thing a man should never put in a personal ad is that he lives with his mother. What’s the #1 thing a woman should never put in a personal ad?
Answer to Give Out Next Show: ‘Great personality!’.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
The hardest thing to do is one thing at a time.