Thursday, June 15, 2000 Edition: #1830
Episode 3 of “Survivor” aired last night and it’s become clear there are a few . . .
BS THINGS THAT WILL GET YOU VOTED OFF THE ISLAND:
• That practical joke with the beetle larvae hanging out your nose.
• Wearing a coconut shell bra when you’re a 6’4″, 300-lb programmer named ‘Max’.
• Causing annoying screams from camera crew whenever you try to cook them.
• Repeated assertions that semen will protect your tribe-mates from snakebite.
• Always asking, “Does this palm frond make my ass look big?”
• Insisting you want to ‘use a lifeline’ to call ‘Gilligan’.
• Every freakin’ night, your favorite campfire song is “It’s a Small World”.
(Thanks to input from Chris White)
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
Sean “Puffy” Combs is one of three new menswear designers nominated for ‘American Fashion Awards’ to be announced tonight in NYC by the Council of Fashion Designers of America (for his inventive design ‘socks with built-in holster’) . . . . Britney Spears will be paid in shares which could net her millions to appear as ‘hostess’ of soon-to-launch Canadian Website YOUtopia.com, where browsers can play games, check out clothes, chat and hang out at virtual parties . . . Car thefts in Vancouver have reportedly jumped sharply since the opening of “Gone in 60 Seconds” (we’ve also noticed unusual cross-dressing on Davie St since “Big Momma’s House opened.)
MOVIES BEING MADE:
Yet another Tom Clancy novel, “The Sum of All Fears”, is coming to the bigscreen but Harrison Ford has let it be known he will NOT play the role of ‘Jack Ryan’ as he did in “Clear and Present Danger” and “Patriot Games” (so who should play the part — Alec Baldwin who had it in “Hunt for Red October”?) . . . Here’s a weird premise – the upcoming comedy “Juwanna Mann” is the story of a basketball star (Miguel Nunez) who’s banned from the NBA for his on-court antics, so he poses as a woman to get into the WNBA (this would have been the perfect role for Dennis Rodman!) . . . 5-time Grammy-winner Toni Braxton will make her feature-film debut in a supporting role in “Kingdom Come”, a Whoopi Goldberg comedy about a family trying to put aside differences at a funeral.
WHAT’S ON YOUR HARD-DRIVE?
Computer files showing evidence of cyber-sex and hidden financial assets are increasingly being used in divorce settlements and custody battles, according to “Lawyers Weekly”. But so far there’s no clear law on whether this kind of ‘cyber-snooping’ is legal. (Just in case, always remember to ‘toss your cookies’.)
BS ‘DADISMS’:
Every dad has ‘em. Those dumb little sayings that come blurting out. Ask listeners to call some in, then edit the best into “Fathers Day” greetings. Here’s a few to get you started . . .
• “You want something to do? I’ll give you something to do!”
• “Do you think I’m made of money?”’
• “You call that noise ‘music’?”
• “Because I said so. That’s why!”
• “I’m not just talking to hear my own voice!”
• “Ask your mother.”
THE BULL SHEET 06.15.00
TODAY’S CELEBRITY BIRTHDAYS . . .
1920 [80] Sam Sniderman, Toronto ON, Sam the Record Man music retailer (140+ stores)
1954 [46] Jim Belushi, Chicago IL, film actor (“K-911″. “Wag the Dog”)/late John Belushi’s brother
1963 [37] Helen Hunt, LA CA, film actress (Oscar-“As Good As It Gets”, “Twister”)/ex-TV actress (4 Emmys-“Mad About You”)/currently shooting “What Women Want” with Mel Gibson
1964 [36] Courteney Cox Arquette, Birmingham AL, rich TV actress (Monica Geller-“Friends”)/movie actress (“Scream I-III”)/Mrs David Arquette
1969 [31] Ice Cube (O’Shea Jackson), LA CA, rap artist (currently touring with Dr Dre)/movie actor (“Three Kings”, “Boyz in the Hood”)
1969 [31] Sheldon Kennedy, Elkhorn MB, former NHL player (Detroit, Calgary) who revealed abuse problems in minor hockey/founder of The Sheldon Kennedy Foundation for abused children
1970 [30] Leah Remini, Brooklyn NY, TV actress (Carrie Heffernan-“The King of Queens”) NOTE: She auditioned for the role of ‘Monica’ on “Friends” but lost to Courteney Cox
BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
Today is “St Vitus Day”, honoring the patron saint of comedians, actors and dancers.
Today is “Smile Power Day”, recognizing the second-best thing you can do with your lips. Quote: “If you have only one smile in you, give it to the people you love. Don’t be surly at home, then go out in the street and start grinning ‘Good morning’ at total strangers.” – Maya Angelou
This weekend Montréal hosts 1 of the 17 Formula One races being staged in the world this year. Jacques Villeneuve returns home to try for a win at Sunday’s “Air Canada Grand Prix”.
NET: http://www.grandprix.ca/
ON THIS DAY IN THE ’90S . . .
1995 [05] At his murder trial, OJ Simpson puts on an Oscar-worthy performance as he tries on the infamous gloves (Lawyer Johnnie Cochran sums up later, “If the gloves don’t fit, you must acquit!”)
1999 [01] Album releases include Santana’s mega-hit “Supernatural”, “Wild Wild West” soundtrack and Sarah McLachlan’s “Mirrorball”
TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1956 [44] 15-year-old John Lennon 1st meets 13-year-old Paul McCartney
1998 [02] Spice Girls (minus ‘Ginger’) launch their 1st North American tour in Miami
AND REMEMBER . . .
[Sat] Eat Your Vegetables Day
[Sun] International Panic Day
Canadian Public Service Week
Fresh Fruit and Vegetables Month
BULL’S BITS . . .
BS TRIVIA:
Q: In what country did the ‘French kiss’ originate?
A: The earliest known evidence of a ‘French kiss’ was discovered on erotic Mochica pottery in Peru, dating from about 200 BC. So actually, it’s a ‘Peruvian kiss’!
(Source: “Kissing: Everything You Wanted to Know”)
THE LAST WORD: A father is a banker provided by nature.
