Monday, June 12, 2000                                               Edition:  #1827

BS WAYS YOU CAN TELL IT’S MONDAY:
• Yesterday was Tuesday and tomorrow is Sunday At least that’s what your fuzzy brain is thinking.
• You break down into a sobbing mess on the floor because there‘s no coffee left in the pot when you get to work.
• Another knee-slapping comic strip of that darn ‘Garfield’ saying “I hate Monday!”
• You’re happy to go to work to get some rest.
• You’ve already planned several thousand ways to avoid actually doing work until Friday.
• The solid rain of the past 2 days has stopped, leaving a beautiful, sunny day.

BS TABLOID TRASH:
• According to “Star”, 4 different look-alikes were hired during the filming of “The Mexican” in order to keep star Brad Pitt protected. (Now there’s a gruelling occupation – handling groupies as a Brad Pitt look-alike.)
• Rosie O’Donnell tells “People” mag that when she looks into the future, she sees more children and less performing. (That’s an amazing coincidence, because when I look into the future, I see myself saying “Rosie who?”)
• Honesty in Hollywood is so refreshing — “National Enquirer” quotes actor Hugh Grant as admitting that he is a “self-indulgent shallow bastard”. (Of course, that’s compared to a real talent like Adam Sandler.)
• “E! Online” reports that Celine Dion is “completely, totally happy” with the news she’s expecting a baby next March, apparently the result of fertility treatments using the frozen sperm of husband-manager Rene Angelil. (For more info, see the “Cosmopolitan” article ‘Ways to Keep Cool This Summer’.)
• He may be celebrating the return to his old name with a Minneapolis concert tomorrow, but “Fox News” reports that all is not well on the home front as Prince and wife Mayte have filed for a divorce. (Soon he’ll be ‘The Artist Formerly Twice As Wealthy’.)
• Irish singer Sinéad O’Connor has come out of the closet in “Curve” magazine saying, “Although I haven’t been very open about that, I actually am a lesbian”. (Wow, we’re paralyzed with shock!)
• Actor Owen Wilson (Jackie Chan’s sidekick in “Shanghai Noon”) tells “US Weekly” he’s thinking of starting a family with girlfriend  Sheryl Crow, whom he says “certainly has the qualities that would make for a great mother.” (Yeah, reminds me of my mom – exactly.)

FASTER, STRONGER, HIGHER . . . BABY:
Word out of Australia is that over 100,000 condoms have been ordered for Olympic athletes at the Sydney Summer Games. (Geez, have they added some new ‘events’ or what?)

THE INNIES AND OUTIES OF FASHION:
Because you really need to know — fashion wags are saying that round navel rings are OUT and tiny, curved barbells with small beads on each end are IN. (But, unfortunately for [your co-host], a giant ball of moist lint is still really, REALLY out.)

PUMPING FOR PLEASURE:
A new “Men’s Health” magazine poll finds nearly half of men surveyed would hit the gym more often if they thought it would result in more sex. (This would be amazing, except  a less scientific poll shows most men would do naked cartwheels down the freeway during rush hour if they thought it would result in more sex.)

THE BULL SHEET 06.12.00

TODAY’S CELEBRITY BIRTHDAYS . . .
1924    [76] George Bush, Milton MA, 41st US President (1989-93)/father of George W
1957    [43] Timothy Busfield, Lansing MI, TV actor (White House press corps journalist Danny Concannon-“The West Wing”, starred in “thirtysomething” in the ‘80s)
1959    [41] Scott Thompson, North Bay ON, TV actor (“Kids in the Hall”, ex-“Larry Sanders Show”)
1970    [30] Lee Mayberry, Tulsa OK, NBA guard (Vancouver Grizzlies)

BS REASONS TO PARTY  . . .
Today is “Hooray For Year-Round School Day”, promoting the benefits of a year-round school calendar. (Likely your kids’ favorite annual observance.)

The 29th annual “International Country Music Fan Fair” today-Friday in Nashville TN brings together over 20,000 fans with their favorite artists to collect autographs and take in 100+ acts on stage.
PHONER: 615-889-7503 (Fan Fair Office)

An old “Whitmonday” ceremony known as “Dicing For Bibles” will be held today at the All Saints Church in St Ives, England, a tradition since 1675. (Next Monday they have ‘Redemption Roulette’ followed by ‘Craps for Christ’.)

ON THIS DAY IN THE ’90S . . .
1994    [06] Nicole Brown and Ronald Goldman murdered in LA (OJ Simpson acquitted October ’95)
1997    [03] MLB ‘interleague play’ begins, ending 126-year tradition of separating the major leagues until the World Series (in 1st game San Francisco Giants beat Texas Rangers 4-3)
1999    [01] In it’s opening weekend, Mike Myers sequel “Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me” racks up an incredible $55 million at the box office

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1792    [208] George Vancouver discovers site of Vancouver BC (promptly leaves due to sky-high real estate prices)
1839    [161] According to legend, Abner Doubleday created baseball in Cooperstown NY FACTOID: According to Duff Conacher’s “More Canada Firsts”, a group of Canadians actually played the first game, adapted from English rounders and cricket, a year earlier on July 4, 1838 in Beachville ON, near London

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Sun] Fathers’ Day
Canadian Public Service Week
Accordian Awareness Month

BULL’S BITS . . .
BS RETRO ROCK QUIZ: (We give you lyrics from a classic hit, you name the tune.)
• “You see my old man’s got a problem, He live with the bottle that’s the way it is.” (“Fast Car”, Tracy Chapman)
• “The muezzin was a’ standing, On the radiator grille “ (“Rock The Casbah”, The Clash)
• “I wish I could just make you turn around, Turn around and see me cry. (“Against All Odds”, Phil Collins)
• “All your compliments and your cutting remarks, Are captured here in my quotation marks.“ (“Everyday I Write The Book”, Elvis Costello)
• “You always look so invitin’, You ain’t as green as you are young.“ (“Hurts So Good”, John Cougar Mellencamp)