June 24 2020

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Wednesday, June 24, 2020   Edition: #6726

Here’s Sheet in Your Eye!


★ Elizabeth Hurley and Bill Clinton have paid tribute to Steve Bing, the Hollywood producer who died at the age of 55. Hurley, who had son Damian with Bing in 2002, wrote on Instagram that he was a “sweet, kind man” and “our time together was very happy”. Former US President Clinton said he “loved Steve Bing very much”. Steve Bing — best known for writing “Kangaroo Jack” and investing hugely in the Tom Hanks’ film, “The Polar Express”, died by reported suicide Monday after jumping from the 27th floor of a luxury apartment building in L.A. He was also known for producing the 2000 remake of “Get Carter” starring Sylvester Stallone and Martin Scorsese’s Rolling Stones documentary “Shine a Light”.
★ Joel Schumacher, director of films like “St. Elmo’s Fire,” “The Client” and “A Time to Kill” has died after a year-long battle with cancer. He was 80. His credits also include “Falling Down”, “Flatliners”, “The Lost Boys”, “Batman Forever” and “Batman & Robin,” as well as “Phone Booth” and “The Phantom of the Opera”, plus most recently, two episodes of “House of Cards.” Schumacher developed a reputation for spotting young talent, casting stars like Colin Farrell, Kiefer Sutherland, Matthew McConaughey and Brad Renfro in their first major screen roles.
★ A new Change.org petition is gaining momentum rename Ohio’s capital city of Columbus “Flavortown”, a term made famous by native son — and celebrity chef — Guy Fieri. “Flavortown” is Fieri’s signature invention, and he’s the self-styled mayor, having dedicated his career to finding fresh ways to allow diners to savor bold flavors. And as the online petition suggests, that’s a better legacy than the city’s current namesake, Christopher Columbus. While Fieri himself has yet to comment, Twitter is toasting Mayor Fieri with Donkey Sauce-filled dipping bowls.
(I’m glad they decided not to go with “Peace, love and taco grease!”)
★ Joey Chestnut will go for his 13th win in the Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest on July 4, and the Major League Eating superstar is also thinking about breaking his own world record in the process. He says that eating 77 hots dogs during the 10-minute contest is “doable”. Chestnut set the world record of 74 in 2018.  Due to the pandemic, no fans will be allowed to attend this year’s event, which has been moved from its usual spot to a private location on Coney Island.

• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Bill Burr (R)
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Russell Crowe, Ben Platt, Brittany Howard
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Jon Stewart
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Mike Birbiglia, Regina Hall
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Don Cheadle, Black Eyed Peas
• “Conan” (TBS): Shaquille O’Neal (R)
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Andrew Rannells
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): John Bolton
• “The Talk” (CBS): NeYo, Tony Dokoupil
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Laura Linney, Rob Gronkowski, Camille Kostek, “Science Bob” Pflugfelder, guest co-host Mark Consuelos
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Best of Ellen: Kids
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): Curtis “50 Cent” Jackson, Lauren Lapkus, Art Smith, Ashley Borden
• “Taking the Stage: African American Music and Stories That Changed America” (ABC): Celebrating the opening of the Smithsonian’s National Museum of African American History and Culture.
• “Game On!” (CBS): Actor Tony Hale joins Team Venus and comic Bobby Moynihan joins Team Gronk as they compete in a sit-up challenge, a jump rope challenge and an obstacle course challenge.

• Miley Cyrus, Justin Bieber, Shakira and Coldplay — are among a host of artists set to perform at the “Global Goal: Unite for Our Future” concert. It’s to raise awareness of the impact the pandemic has had on marginalized communities and encourage world leaders to fund and equally distribute testing and treatment for all Covid-19 patients. The event will air June 27th on NBC and will be available to stream on multiple platforms. Dwayne Johnson will host.
• Lady Gaga – sent her father a box of Oreos for Father’s Day. Although she is said to be worth $275 million, her dad, restaurateur Joe Germanotta, seemed perfectly happy with the $4 cookie gift while making an appearance on FOX, calling it “a great day”.
• Michael Jackson – makes an appearance in the trailer for his daughter Paris’ new reality show for Facebook Watch. The promo for “Unfiltered: Paris Jackson & Gabriel Glenn” shows Michael interacting with a much younger Paris in a home video. MJ asks Paris what she wants to be when she grows up. She quickly responds, “I do what you do. Dance and sing!” The show debuts on June 30th.
• David Lee Roth — has shared another piece of artwork which was inspired by the COVID-19 crisis and protests over George Floyd ‘s death. It contains the tongue-in-cheek announcement that he is changing his name to “David L. Roth” or simply “El Roth” after being influenced by Lady Antebellum’s name-change to “Lady A”.
• The Darkness – Their 2002 hit ‘I Believe in a Thing Called Love’ has been voted the greatest song so far this century by readers of UK-based “Classic Rock” magazine. Rounding out the top 5, in order, are: ‘Rock N Roll Train’ – AC/DC, ‘Blackbird’ – Alter Bridge, ‘Best of You’ – Foo Fighters, and ‘Seven Nation Army’ – The White Stripes.
• AC/DC – Four of their classic album covers will be released as 500-piece jigsaw puzzles on Sept. 4. Zee Productions will release “High Voltage”, “For Those About To Rock”, “Blow Up Your Video” and “Ballbreaker” as part of their “Rock Saws” collection, joining previously-released puzzles featuring classic album art from Iron Maiden, Motörhead, Judas Priest and Slayer.
• Brad Paisley – has been booked to play 3 drive-in concerts as promotor Live Nation makes moves to bring back the live show. “Live from the Drive-In” will feature Paisley shows in Nashville, Maryland Heights, Missouri, and Noblesville, Indiana from July 10 to July 12th. Darius Rucker and Jon Pardi will also perform in the parking lot of Nashville’s Nissan Stadium.
• Darius Rucker — is teaming up with Lady A (formerly Lady Antebellum) on a new song, which will be released this summer. He describes the song as “a lot of fun” and says that he’s thrilled for fans to hear it.

With only one-third of Canadians who have been working remotely expecting to resume working from the office as consistently as they did before the pandemic, and fully one-in-five saying they will continue to work primarily from home, here comes the OTHER part of “the new normal”: A pay cut. Richard Leblanc, a professor of governance, law and ethics at York University, says staff who elect to work remotely shouldn’t be surprised if they see their pay change. He points out that if you can do the majority of your work from the suburbs where you no longer have to pay for a daily commute…or if you are now able to buy a home that is even further away from the high real estate prices of a major city center, you should understand that your salary will change because your expenses have changed. According to him, if companies calculate salaries properly, neither the business nor workers should feel their salary adjustments are unfair.
(It’s almost like they KNOW how hard I work when I’m at home…)
(I always said that I’d take a pay cut to work from home. But I never said that I COULD take one!)
(Aaaaand suddenly I’m packing a lunch again!)


As sports leagues explore ways to enable a return to training and competition at both professional and amateur levels, one of the main challenges involves – breathing. As you know, when playing most sports, breathing becomes faster and harder than at rest, which increases the risk of passing on the coronavirus. As a result, premier league football is considering introducing facemasks, and others may follow suit. But a mask makes it harder to inhale the amount of air needed to perform at the highest levels. And during heavy exercise while wearing a mask, you are at increased risk of re-breathing exhaled carbon dioxide, which can reduce cognitive function, and create other physical difficulties. With gyms looking to reopen and sports clubs wanting to resume, experts are recommending that research be undertaken to ensure the safety of heavy exertion while wearing face masks.
(I know. A mask barely gives me enough air to perform at MY heaviest level of exertion – grocery shopping!)
(I won’t even recognize my favorite hockey players if I can’t see where their teeth used to be!)

A new study says that quite often, we tell lies in order to seem more honest. The study, published in the “Journal of Experimental Psychology: General”, analyzed several experiments which tested how people handle situations where they gain a financial advantage over others. Researchers say several people chose to lie about their good fortune because telling the truth could make them appear selfish or dishonest. Lead researcher Shoham Choshen-Hillel said: “Our findings suggest that when people obtain extremely favorable outcomes, they anticipate other people’s suspicious reactions and prefer lying and appearing honest over telling the truth and appearing as selfish liars.”
(Fortunately, I don’t anticipate ever having the need to lie about my good financial fortune…)
(Everyone else is coming up with these great creative lies about why they’re so rich and my best lie is that I’ve read all the terms and conditions!)

Men who share photos of themselves with cats on dating apps are less appealing to potential partners, according to new research. A study carried out by Colorado State University found that women perceived men who were holding cats in their photos as “less masculine”, “higher in neuroticism” and “less dateable”. That creates an interesting discrepancy between cats and dogs, as some men go out of their way to include friends’ pooches in dating app photos because women react so well.


1944 [76] Jeff Beck, Surrey England, rock guitarist (The Jeff Beck Group, The Yardbirds, and has played on albums by Rod Stewart, Mick Jagger, Tina Turner, Jon Bon Jovi and many more)/Rock Hall of Fame 1992 (The Yardbirds), 2009 (solo)

1947 [73] Mick Fleetwood, Redruth England, classic rock drummer (Fleetwood Mac –‘Dreams’, Go Your Own Way’)/Rock Hall of Fame 1998

1961 [59] Iain Glen, Edinburgh Scotland, TV actor (‘Ser Jorah Mormont’ on “Game of Thrones” 2011-19)/movie actor (“Resident Evil” films)

1979 [41] Mindy Kaling (Chokalingam), Cambridge MA, TV actress (“The Mindy Project 2012-17, “The Office” 2005-13)/best-selling author (“Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?”)

1980 [40] Minka Kelly, Los Angeles CA, TV actress (“Titans” since 2018, “Friday Night Lights” 2006-09)

1986 [34] Solange Knowles, Houston TX, R&B singer (‘Cranes in the Sky’)/actress/model/younger sister of Beyoncé

1987 [33] Lionel Messi, Rosario Argentina, soccer superstar (FC Barcelona, Argentina team captain)/ Guinness World Record as top goal scorer for club and country in a calendar year: 91 goals in 2012

• “Celebration of the Senses”, when we’re encouraged to treat ourselves to stimulation of each of our 5 senses. What would be the best sensation for each?

• “International Fairy Day”, a holiday for believers, collectors, and the young at heart to celebrate all that is ‘Fae’, and to reconnect with their imagination and child-like wonder.

• “Pralines Day”, saluting the sweet & creamy taste treat made from sugared pecans or almonds. Pralines were invented in France by Marshal du Plessis-Praslin (hence the name).

• “St-Jean Baptiste Day”, the “Fête Nationale” holiday in the province of Québec and in French-Canadian communities across the country. Besides Québec, St John the Baptist is also the patron saint of auto routes, candlemakers, health spas, road workers, and wool workers.

• “Swim a Lap Day”, the pool equivalent of ‘Walk a Block’, an easily achievable step to getting your fitness initiative underway.

• “World UFO Day”, marking the anniversary of one of the first UFO sightings in the US, when Kenneth Arnold reported seeing nine high-speed crescent-shaped objects near Mt. Rainier in Washington, in 1947. July 2 marks the anniversary of the Roswell UFO incident, which also happened in 1947.

[Thurs] Global Beatles Day
[Thurs] Leon Day
[Fri] Take Your Dog to Work Day
[Fri] Forgiveness Day

2006 [14] “Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest”, starring Johnny Depp, Keira Knightley and Orlando Bloom, premieres at Disneyland, later becomes the fastest film to gross $1 billion

2010 [10] Actress/model Megan Fox weds “Beverly Hills 90210” actor Brian Austin Green in Hawaii (They split this year, she’s been dating Machine Gun Kelly)

2012 [08] Billboard names Olivia Newton-John’s 1982 hit ‘Physical’ as ‘The Sexiest Song of All-Time’ (c’mon, seriously?)

2014 [06] The original lyrics to ‘Like a Rolling Stone’, handwritten by Bob Dylan on hotel stationery, sell for $2 million at auction

2010 [10] American John Isner finally defeats Nicolas Mahut of France at Wimbledon in the longest match in professional tennis history (11 hours, 5 minutes of play over 3 days, with a final score of 70-68 after 183 games)


✓ In Malaysia, drunk drivers are jailed…and so are their spouses.
✓ John Lennon shoplifted the harmonica that he played on ‘Love Me Do’.
✓ People born under the zodiac sign Sagittarius make fewer insurance claims than any other sign.
✓ Right-handed people tend to scratch with their left hand, and vice-versa.
✓ The average person will grow 6.5 feet (2 meters) of nose hair in their lifetime.
✓ In 1923, a jockey suffered a fatal heart attack but his horse finished and won the race, making him the only jockey to win a race after death.
-TheFactSite, BathroomReadersInstitute

• Work Detox
• Our Hour
• Wine Down
• Sorry, Honey, I Have to Work Late
• Amateur Hour
• Breakfast

Best of BS . . .

• The only thing more boring than watching golf on television is playing golf.
• Apparently football and football are two different things, depending on where you live.
• It gives you something other than the weather to talk about.
• Rub some dirt on it. You’ll be alright.
• Drake is the most irritating sports fan in the history of sports fandom.
• How to feign interest.
• You can be over 6½ feet tall and still suck at basketball.
• All of them are better with wings and beer.
• Women’s Beach Volleyball is the greatest sport in the history of boobs…I mean sports…
• They are completely unnecessary because everybody gets a ribbon now anyway…
• If winning matters to you, you don’t want me on your team.
-Twitter, first published in BS in 2019

➠ One of North America’s largest travel retailers is launching personal protection equipment (PPE) vending machines across the U.S. and Canada. (Analysts predict it will do well in the U.S. since it’s already done well in Asia. But remember, they said the same thing about “Aquaman”.)
➠ As some hotels re-open, the CDC says that some of the dirtiest objects in a hotel room are the remote control and the bedside lamp switch. (Unless Charlie Sheen has one of his dates in there. In which case, it’s her…)
➠ It’s officially summer! (And you can tell! Kids everywhere are playing baseball, football, and basketball . . . on their iPads.
➠ Did you know? “Climacophilia” is the medical term for a person who is sexually aroused by falling down the stairs. (Who knew that instead of Viagra all you’d need is some slippery socks and a squeaky handrail?)
➠ Fact of the Day: 80% of people keep their feelings to themselves because they believe it’s hard for others to understand their pain. (The other 20% are on Facebook.)

Dramatic Pets:  https://tinyurl.com/y7n8rrem

• They have square watermelons in Japan, because they stack better. [True]
• Maxwell House coffee was first advertised as ‘good to the last drop’ in 1907. [BS – but Coca-Cola was! The Coke slogan was long forgotten by the time it was adopted by Maxwell House.]
• Decaf coffee contains no caffeine. [BS. Only 97% of caffeine needs to be removed in order for coffee to be called ‘decaffeinated’.]
• A blade razor is more energy efficient than an electric razor. [BS. Shaving cream has to be manufactured, water pumped to your home, heated, and then treated as waste afterward, etc.]
• Lightning strikes Earth about 6,000 times per year. [BS. It’s more like 6,000 times every minute!]
• Ancient Egyptians slept on pillows made of stone. [True]
• It took 1,500 men a total of 3 years to dig the Grand Canyon. [BS. It was carved by the Colorado River.]

If I ever win the lottery, I’ll stay the same person I am today. My poor decisions, however, will become gloriously epic.

What was your worst on-the-job screw-up?

Question:  25% of women use THIS to improve their appearance. What is it?
Answer:  Camera filters

The grass is greener where you water it.


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