June 25, 2009

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Thursday, June 25, 2009        Edition: #4048
Get Your BS Here, Hot ‘n Fresh!

Dallas Cowboys linemen Leonard Davis, Marc Colombo & Cory Procter have signed a recording contract as part of a heavy metal band called Free Reign (they’re used to cracking heads, now they’re professional head-bangers) . . . Methodist University Hospital in Memphis TN is emphasizing that 54-year-old Apple CEO Steve Jobs only received a liver transplant this week because he was the ‘sickest patient on the waiting list at the time a donor organ became available’ (someone’s worried about catching flack) . . . “American Idol” judge Simon Cowell is partnering with UK retail magnate Philip Green in a company that will produce & own TV content worldwide (solidifying his status as a ‘mogul’) . . . 48-year-old actress Daryl Hannah (“Kill Bill”) has been arrested after she & 30 others blocked traffic by sitting in the middle of a road in West Virginia as an environmental protest against mountaintop coal mining (Ontario Power Generation is a big buyer of the stuff) . . . Rod Stewart’s ex-, 39-year-old model Rachel Hunter, has reportedly been dumped by 27-year-old LA Kings hockey player Jarret Stoll just 2 months before their wedding – with no reason given (apparently she’s just not hot enough for a guy from Melville, Saskatchewan) . . . Michael Madsen is one of those character actors you’d recognize in over 100 movies (“Kill Bill”, “Sin City”, “Thelma & Louise”, etc) but this month a bankruptcy filing reveals he owes close to $4 million, including $25,000 to acting pal Pierce Brosnan and a cool million to his “Reservoir Dogs” director Quentin Tarantino (somebody got some bad advice) . . . And “The View” co-host Elisabeth Hasselbeck is being sued over her best-selling book, “The G-Free Diet: A Gluten-Free Survival Guide”, as author Susan Hassett claims it was plagiarized from her book “Living With Celiac Disease”, in some areas copied ‘word-for-word’ (oops!).


• “The Hour” (CBC) – Michael Buble (“Michael Buble Meets Madison Square Garden”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Eric Hutchinson (“Sounds Like This”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/A Channel) – Dinosaur Jr (“Farm”).
• “Saturn Awards” (LA) – The 35th annual awards for sci-fi, fantasy, and horror entertainment are doled out. “The Dark Knight” leads film nominations with 11, followed by “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button” with 9. “Lost” leads TV nominations with 11, followed by “Heroes” with 6.
• “Summerfest “ (Milwaukee WI) – Billed as the world’s largest music festival, this 11-day concert series kicks off with Bon Jovi. Upcoming acts include Bob Dylan, The Fray, George Strait, Keith Urban, Kenny Chesney, Kid Rock, Kiss, and No Doubt.
NET: http://www.summerfest.com
• “The View” (ABC/CTV) – Darius Rucker (“Learn to Live”).


• The Beatles – A “Sgt Pepper” souvenir poster bearing the signatures of all Fab Four has sold for $52,500 at a Christie’s pop memorabilia auction in NYC. A bass guitar owned by late Nirvana frontman Kurt Cobain was snapped up for $43,750.
• Hank Williams Jr – This week he’s filming opening segments for the new season of ESPN’s “Monday Night Football” in Nashville’s Centennial Park. As many as 500 extras are involved. The upcoming season marks the 21st he’s been featured in the show’s opening segment. “MNF” debuts September 14th.
• Heart – Sisters Ann & Nancy Wilson are set to release a children’s storybook later this year, inspired by their 1978 classic rock album “Dog & Butterfly”. It will come with a CD that includes new versions of the title song and their hit “Dreamboat Annie”.
• Madonna – Electronic DJ Paul Oakenfold has revealed he’s producing new material for her upcoming “Greatest Hits” collection due in September. He says the collaboration will involve ‘cutting edge sounds combined with classic Madonna’. He’s the opener for her entire “Sticky & Sweet” European tour this summer.
• Michael Jackson – Some 300,000 Swarovski crystals will be used in his “This Is It” shows at London’s O2 Arena beginning next month. Over $1.5 million-worth of the gems will be added to costumes and sets.
• Soundgarden – The rumor mill continues to spin that Chris Cornell will be joining his old bandmates for a full-on reunion tour, but there’s nothing firm yet.
• Van Halen – According to a posting on a fan site, the “Guitar Hero: Van Halen” videogame will be out in November or December. An exact release date has not yet been announced.


A BS selection of movies in the making …
• “Avatar” – Director James Cameron (“Titanic”) has unveiled the first glimpse of his highly anticipated new 3-D film at the “Cinema Expo” in Amsterdam, the Netherlands. Film industry people were treated to 24 minutes of footage from the movie about a battle on a distant planet. Despite a media ban on the clips shown, people at the event posted anonymously online that the footage is ‘jaw-dropping’ and ‘stunning’. It’s due in theaters December 18th.
• “Jonah Hex” – Production on this comic book adaptation starring Josh Brolin & Megan Fox was temporarily halted after a fire broke out on the New Orleans set. A special effects explosion set fire to surrounding buildings and spread to neighboring grassland. The set was evacuated but the film crew reportedly kept shooting for another hour in order to catch the ‘authenticity’ of the blaze. Even so, the movie wrapped on schedule at the end of last week. You can check out the results when the action thriller opens in August 2010.
• “Life As We Know It” – Katherine Heigl (“Grey’s Anatomy”) will star in this story of 2 strangers whose worlds are turned upside down when their mutual best friends die in an accident and name them as care-givers for their orphaned daughter. Heigl and her mother Nancy Heigl are executive-producing the project. No further casting has been announced.
• “The Social Network” – Director David Fincher (“The Curious Case of Benjamin Button”) is in negotiations to direct this Aaron Sorkin-scripted film about the formation of Facebook from its 2004 creation on the Harvard University campus by sophomore Mark Zuckerberg to its current status as an online juggernaut with more than 200 million members. The aim is to begin production later this year.

Scientists say satellite observations of cloud temperatures might allow severe thunderstorm warnings to be issued up to 45 minutes earlier than previously. Researchers at the University of Wisconsin-Madison think temperature measurements would be more accurate and quicker than relying on traditional radar. They’ve developed a way to detect temperature changes in the tops of clouds because clouds begin cooling long before radar can identify them as storms. (Guys will still try to cram in 18 on the golf course before the storm anyway.)


• Studies show that men who hug & kiss their wives before leaving for work each morning live an average 5 years longer, have fewer car accidents, and earn up to 30% more than those who don’t.
• World Health Organization estimates that, at any given minute of each day, there are 69,000 couples making love in the world … a total of 100 million daily!
• Contrary to what you might think, a Harvard University study finds 54% of vacationers enjoy themselves more when they travel with their children than when they leave the kids home.

A little over a decade ago, a 60-ft [18-m] waterfall was thought to be the biggest drop a kayaker could survive. But sturdier kayaks and new techniques are allowing daredevils and explorers to push the outer limits of the sport. By mastering big waterfalls, the most extreme kayakers are now venturing into unexplored river gorges and uncharted rapids that were previously out of reach. These adventurers now risk their lives to claim credit for what’s being called a ‘first descent’. (Just ahead of their ‘final descent’ … six-feet-under.)
– “Wall Street Journal”


The Chinese Ministry of Health and State Administration of Traditional Chinese Medicine have caused public debate after recommending a traditional Chinese-medicine concoction to combat H1N1 swine flu. The recommended recipe includes mulberry leaves, cogongrass rhizome, honeysuckle, indigowoad root, and 8 other herbal ingredients. But online critics have raised doubts that a traditional preparation could possibly help prevent such a new disease. One skeptic asks: “Has anyone ever heard Chinese medicine say there’s a disease they don’t have a cure for?” (Take one eye of newt and mix in the tail of a scorpion …)
– “China Daily”

• Bulletproof Buttocks
• The All-Terrain Stroller
• The Car Bib
• Wig Flipper
• Toilet Landing Lights
• Diaper Alarm
• Kissing Shield
• Pet Shower
• Tricycle Lawnmower
NET: http://totallyabsurd.com

The American Medical Association is recommending that hospitals ban doctors’ iconic white lab coats because they may contribute to the spread of infection. So what’s the point of white coats anyway? The knee-length coat in medicine crossed over from laboratory sciences at the turn of the 20th century. Before that, physicians wore street clothes … even in the operating room. As the field developed into a respected branch of applied science in the early 1900s, doctors adopted the costume of the lab as a way of boosting their credibility. (Along with demanding their name be preceded with the title of ‘Dr’. Do other professions do this?)
– Slate.com

• Forget oysters, clams just might be an aphrodisiac for men. Animal studies show that consuming clams triggers a surge in male sex hormones. (Like anything else.)
• Fired yet? If you’re under 30, you have a 90% chance of being axed from your job at some point over the next 20 years. (99.99% if you’re a broadcaster.)
• Food really is more delicious and harder to resist when you’re dieting. Researchers have found that hunger boosts the sensitivity of taste buds, intensifying flavor. (Nature’s cruel joke.)
– “Cosmopolitan”


1961 [48] Ricky Gervais, Reading UK, triple Golden Globe-, double Emmy-winning writer/producer (“The Office” creator, “Extras”)/ movie actor (“Night At the Museum” films)  FACTOID: His father emigrated to England from London ON.

1963 [46] George Michael (Yorgos Kyriatou Panayioutou), Radlett UK, oldies singer (“Faith”, Wham-“Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go”)

1971 [38] Sean Kelly, Albuquerque NM, pop guitarist/singer (Sixpence None the Richer-“Kiss Me”, “There She Goes”)

1971 [38] Angela Kinsey, Lafayette LA, TV actress (‘Angela Martin’ on “The Office” since 2005)

1972 [37] Mike Kroeger, Hanna AB, rock bassist (Nickelback-“Photograph”, “How You Remind Me”)/half-brother of frontman Chad Kroeger

• “Handshake Day”, honoring the age-old tradition of greeting by touch. But isn’t this tradition outmoded if not dangerous in these days of H1N1? What would you suggest replace it? Bowing? Bumping elbows? A gentle head-butt?

• “Leon Day” (‘Noel’ spelled backwards), observed exactly 6 months from Christmas, meaning we’re as far away from all that rush & stress as we can be!

• “National Catfish Day”, first initiated in 1987 to celebrate the value of farm-raised catfish. (They sure are hard to herd.)

• “Sense of Humor in Bed Appreciation Day”. (So [co-host], what’s it like being laughed at?)

1951 [58] ‘Color TV’ is introduced in a 1-hour special on CBS-TV

1968 [41] Pierre Elliott Trudeau 1st becomes Canada’s PM, thanks in part to what’s called ‘Trudeaumania’

1974 [35] ‘Hand-Held Calculator’ is patented, Texas Instruments ‘Datamath’ that can only do basic arithmetic but is priced at over $100 (nowadays you can get a scientific calculator for $1)

1993 [16] Kim Campbell is sworn in as Canada’s 19th and 1st female PM (for 4 months)

1977 [32] Roy Sullivan of Virginia is struck by lightening for the 7th time … and lives! (uh Roy, maybe when you hear that rumbling noise, you ought to try heading indoors?)

[Fri] “Chéri”; “My Sister’s Keeper” open in movie theaters
[Fri] Ugly Dog Day
[Fri] Take Your Dog to Work Day
[Sat] Rock On the Range Festival opens (Winnipeg MB)
[Sun] Pride Parade Day
This Week Is … Prevention of Eye Injuries Awareness Week
This Month Is … Soul Food Month


• See who can sing “The Wheels On the Bus” over and over the longest.
• Play ‘Count the Provinces’ by yelling out the name on all passing licence plates.
• Play ‘Count the Veins on Daddy’s Neck’ every time someone yells out another province.
• When you spot a car that’s speeding, take turns imitating a police siren.
• Ask Mom to guess a number between 1 and 324 billion. Give her 320 billion chances.
• Do play-by-play of what’s going on in the back seat, ie: “Max is gonna throw up!” or “Rachel tooted!”


I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

• Beige is the new black.
• Black has been traded uptown for grey and a color to be named later.
• Pastels have been placed on waivers.
• Yellow has been reassigned to the farm.
• Green is the new blue and yellow.
– Thanks to Sasha Issenberg.


If you had to be trapped in a TV show for a month, which show would you choose?

• It’s a Small World, So You Gotta Use Your Elbows a Lot.
• If Older Is Better, I Must Be Approaching Magnificent!
• Second Marriage: A Triumph of Hope Over Experience.
• I Bought Batteries, But They Weren’t Included.
• Missing Your Cat? Try Looking Under My Tires.
• I Get Enough Exercise Just Pushing My Luck.
• Forget World Peace, Visualize Using Your Turn Signal!
• If You Can Read This, I’ve Lost My Trailer!


Today’s Question: THIS is the most popular name for a pet fish.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: ‘Jaws’.


The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

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