Thursday, June 28, 2007        Edition: #3563
Ahhh, the Sweet Smell of BS!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
TONIGHT “Harry Potter & the Order of the Phoenix” premieres in Tokyo, Japan, to be followed by a 2nd red-carpet event in London next TUESDAY, then opening wide JULY 11th (“Spider-Man 3” also premiered in Japan – does buzz move east to west?) . . . TONIGHT “Dancing with the Stars: The Tour” kicks off in Columbia SC, but season 4 champ Apolo Anton Ohno will only appear in select cities (and Columbia ain’t one of them) . . . Actors Mary-Louise Parker & Jeffrey Dean Morgan who play husband & wife on “Weeds” (Showtime) have called off their real-life relationship because they hooked up at ‘the wrong time’ in their lives (besides his character’s been killed off on the show so she doesn’t need to make nice anymore) . . . OJ Simpson’s videographer ‘friend’ Norm Pardo says ‘The Juice’ didn’t write a single word of his unreleased book “If I Did It” but he actually did rehearse crying for the never-aired TV interview about it (his best acting since grimacing while trying on the infamous ‘gloves that don’t fit’) . . . Pharrell Williams, Lenny Kravitz & Macy Gray have been confirmed as the headliners for “Live Earth Brazil” (JULY 7), the only free event in the worldwide concert series which is expected to draw a million people to Rio de Janeiro’s Copacabana Beach . . . TV chef/cookbook author Nigella Lawson (“Nigella Bites“) is developing a new series called “Nigella Express” that flies in the face of the current health fad by featuring decadent concoctions like sweet potato & bacon hash and Irish cream tiramisu (debuts THIS FALL – if she lives that long) . . . Meantime PETA has announced the ‘World’s Sexiest Vegetarians’ for 2007: 24-year-old “I’ll Stand by You” singer Carrie Underwood and – after much lobbying by Jay Leno – 49-year-old “Tonight Show” bandleader Kevin Eubanks (110,000 votes were cast online).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Aerosmith – They’re rumored to be teaming up with Joan Jett for a US tour THIS FALL.
• Bayside – TONIGHT the Bayside NY alt-rockers (“Duality”) guest on “Late Night With Conan O’Brien” (NBC).
• Black Eyed Peas – TODAY Taboo (Jaime Luis Gomez) is due in Los Angeles Court for a pretrial hearing on a pair of misdemeanor marijuana charges stemming from his March 27th arrest. He’s already pleaded not guilty.
• Bon Jovi – THIS AFTERNOON they’re on the “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CityTV).
• Elton John – A French court has just awarded him $500,000 after it was proven a series of 18th-century marble statues of Olympian gods that he purchased at a Paris antiques store in 1996 were total fakes. The fraud wasn’t discovered until a 2001 evaluation of his art collection.
• Faith Hill – TODAY she’s a guest on the “Oprah Winfrey Show” (syndicated/CTV).
• Toby Keith – He says he’ll never attend the “CMA Awards” again because they’ve ignored him in the past. After a total of 27 nominations he’s taken home just 2 trophies. The 41st “CMA Awards” will be handed out NOVEMBER 7th in Nashville … without the “Big Dog Daddy”.
• Velvet Revolver – TONIGHT they preview their new album “Libertad” (out TUESDAY) on the “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel).
• The Verve – The 90s alt-rockers (“Bitter Sweet Symphony”) have reformed to record a new album and organize a tour. The Brit band split in 1999 when frontman Richard Ashcroft embarked on a less than stellar solo career.

COMING ATTRACTIONS:
A BS selection of movies getting made …
• “The Human Factor” – Morgan Freeman (‘God’ in “Evan Almighty”) will co-produce and star in this bio-film about former South African President Nelson Mandela. It’s based on the upcoming John Carlin book of the same name. The film is scheduled to debut on screens in 2009 … when Mandela would be turning 91.
• “Kill Bill: Vol 3 & 4” – Director Quentin Tarantino plans to film the next 2 instalments of the series in China. The 3rd film will follow the revenge of 2 killers previously attacked by ‘The Bride’ (Uma Thurman). Then the 4th episode will concern a cycle of reprisals by daughters who avenge their mothers’ deaths. No shooting or release schedule has been announced.
• “Playboy” – Hugh Hefner has given his okay for this bio-pic that will follow how he transcended a strait-laced upbringing to pioneer a sexual revolution. As well as his sexual exploits, the film will also delve into his social activism. Brett Ratner (“Rush Hour 1-3“, “X-Men: The Last Stand”) will direct, and Brian Grazer (“A Beautiful Mind”) will produce.
• “Rocknrolla” – The cast for Guy Ritchie’s latest heist pic is beginning to fill out, with “Crash” co-stars Ludacris and Thandie Newton, plus Gerard Butler (“300”) now on board. Mr Madonna both wrote and is directing the film which centers on a Russian mobster who sets up a crooked land deal, dangling millions of dollars before the noses of London’s criminal underground.
• “Valkyrie” – Tom Cruise’s plans to begin filming this WW2 story about the 1944 plot to assassinate Hitler NEXT MONTH in Germany are running into resistence. The Defence Ministry has barred shooting at all military sites due to his affiliation with Scientology. The German government does not recognize it as a religion, considering it more of a money-hungry cult. Cruise will likely get the film made anyway because much of it will be shot in Prague.

VIRTUAL SPICE:
TODAY the Spice Girls (1996-2001) make an ‘official announcement’ to the world regarding future plans. It will likely be revealed they’ve been recording new material and plan to reunite for at least a one-off concert and perhaps a world tour. There’s been speculation a get-together could occur as soon as SUNDAY’s “Concert for Diana” in London. An industry insider claims they’re planning to use state-of-the-art sound technology to perform live. The hi-tech system uses previously recorded material to ‘repair’ live performances. As they sing live on stage, a computer digitally compares the performance to the perfect tracks and instantly corrects any mistakes. (Why not just pull a Britney – play your hit tracks and squirm like a stripper?)
– “Daily Mail”

WE SAW THIS COMING:
Tooth whitening kits may be bad for your health! UK experts with the Trading Standards Institute have discovered that 18 out of 20 over-the-counter whitening kits tested contained illegal levels of bleach. One product contained 230-times the recommended 0.1% limit of hydrogen peroxide, the common active ingredient. It’s the same chemical that can be used to dye hair, and it can cause serious burning to the mouth and gums. So far, the unsafe brands have not been named but it’s been recommended that those considering teeth whitening should consult a dentist. (Hmm, wonder who paid for this study?)
– “China Daily”

iREVIEWS:
The iPhone, which combines a cellphone, iPod & web browser with a touch-sensitive glass screen, is likely to become the next big thing when it debuts FRIDAY. A couple of reviews are already in ..
• “The iPhone is so sleek and thin, it makes Treos and BlackBerrys look obese.”
– “Wall Street Journal”
• “It does things no phone has ever done before but it lacks features found even on the most basic phones. But the bigger achievement is the software. It’s fast, beautiful, menu-free and dead simple to operate.”
– “NY Times”

LEGAL FREE MUSIC:
A new, free and legal file sharing service will be launching in OCTOBER. ‘Qtrax’, an online record label and file sharing service, will offer between 20-and-30 million copyrighted songs. The service, which has the support of all 4 major labels, EMI, Sony BMG, Universal Music Group and Warner Music Group, will generate revenue via advertising. (Meaning 83 screens and 206 sponsors later, you’ll have your ‘free’ track.)
– TuneLab

REALLY, REALLY BIG:
Think you’ve got the fastest laptop around? Think again. At the “International Supercomputer Conference” in Dresden, Germany technicians from Sun Microsystems have unveiled a $60-million supercomputer that has the memory of 200,000 home computers and enough hard-disk space to hold the entire Google index of the Internet. And in the race to build the world’s biggest and best, IBM has just announced it’s working on a supercomputer that will be able to handle one-quadrillion calculations … per second. (Wow, that’s like Pam-Anderson-smart!)
– Reuters

WHAT COMES AFTER A TERABYTE?
Actually there are lots of things bigger than a terabyte. A quick look at memory sizes …
1000 Bytes = 1 Kilobyte
1000 Kilobytes = 1 Megabyte
1000 Megabytes = 1 Gigabyte
1000 Gigabytes = 1 Terabyte
1000 Terabytes = 1 Petabyte
1000 Petabytes = 1 Exabyte
1000 Exabytes = 1 Zettabyte
1000 Zettabyte = 1 Zottabyte
1000 Zottabyte = 1 Brontobyte (1 followed by 27 zeroes)
– Expert Knowledgebase

DIET MYTHS BUSTED:
Here’s the real scoop on 3 currently circulating diet myths …
• Bananas Are Fattening – One medium banana contains only 105 calories; you’d have to eat at least 6 to equal one slice of pizza. Also on the plus side, bananas are a good source of fiber, magnesium, potassium, and vitamin B6.
• Certain Foods Help You Lose Belly Fat – Contrary to what some diet books & articles preach, there are no foods that magically melt away fat off your belly … or any other part of your body. Where fat tends to settle is typically all in your genes. Or maybe your jeans.
• The More You Sweat, The More Weight You Lose – While it’s true exercise helps you lose weight by burning calories, heavy sweating only indicates how much temporary water weight you’ve lost. That fluid will quickly be replaced as you drink water to rehydrate your body.
– “Joy’s Healthy Bite”

EMINEM ON TAP?
Drinks America Holdings, the company behind “Donald Trump Vodka”, Willie Nelson’s “Old Whiskey River” bourbon and a line of Paul Newman-branded juice drinks, has an agreement with Universal Music Group to come up with brands of drinks – both alcoholic and nonalcoholic – that bear the imprimatur of some of the company’s recording artists, which include Eminem, Dr Dre, and Sting. (Will we soon be drinking “Amy Winehouse No Rehab Red”?)
– Idolator.com

DID YOU KNOW?
• A CIA study published in “The Annals of Internal Medicine” says that, at current rates, one or two world leaders can be expected to have heart attacks every year. (Can we pick who?)
• The average yawn lasts about 6 seconds. (During which you travel circa 200 yards while driving on a highway.)

BS CHRONOMETER 06.28.07

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1926 [81] Mel Brooks (Kaminsky), Brooklyn NY, really rich Broadway producer (“The Producers”)/movie director (“Blazing Saddles”)/widower of actress Anne Bancroft  UP NEXT: Wrote the screenplay for the now filming bigscreen version of “Get Smart”, starring Steve Carrell.

1948 [59] Kathy Bates, Memphis TN, movie actress (“Charlotte’s Web”, 1990 Academy Award-“Misery”)

1966 [41] John Cusack, Evanston IL, movie actor (“1408”, “Runaway Jury”)

1976 [31] Tim Nordwind, Kalamazoo MI, rock bassist/singer (OK Go-“Here It Goes Again”, “A Million Ways”)

1986 [21] Kellie Pickler, Albemarle NC, country singer (“I Wonder”, “Red High Hells”)/former “American Idol” finalist (2006)/currently dating Nashville Predators hockey player Jordin Tootoo (Churchill MB)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Columnists Day”, because even newspaper columnists deserve their own day. Well, a few.

• “Handshake Day”, a day to offer your hand in friendly greeting. And make it firm … no one likes a wimpy handshake. (Yeah. Pass those germs on with authority!)

• “Montréal Jazz Festival”, the 28th annual through July 8th, highlighted with performances by Bob Dylan, Wynton Marsalis, Harry Connick Jr and many more.
NET: http://www.montrealjazzfest.com/Fijm2007/splash.aspx

• “Paul Bunyan Day”, celebrating the gigantic lumberjack of American folklore. According to the story, Bunyan and his blue ox ‘Babe’ travelled around country where he became known for his logging feats.

• “Tapioca Day”, honoring that stuff you put in pudding that looks like fish eyes.

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1998 [09] 1st TV ratings week in which more viewers watch cable/satellite channels than broadcast channels (that Home & Garden channel is rivetting, isn’t it?)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1927 [80] The Carter Family begins recording at the “Bristol Sessions” organized by the Victor Talking Machine Company in Bristol TN, considered by many the beginning of ‘Country Music’  FACTOID: TODAY the 80th anniversary of the event is being commemorated with the opening of an exhibit at Nashville’s Country Music Hall of Fame featuring the Carters, Jimmie Rodgers, and many of the 17 other acts recorded at the landmark sessions that ran through August 5th.

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1994 [13] 1st ‘UV Index’ reading, measuring daily ultraviolet exposure from the Sun’s rays (aka the ‘Melanoma Factor’)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1984 [23] England’s Melvyn Switzer sets ‘Loudness Record for Snoring’ at 85.5 decibels (a level that can damage your ears over time)

COMING UP . . .
[Fri] Camera Day
[Fri] “Evening”; “Ratatouille”; “Sicko” open in movie theaters
[Sat] Meteor Day
[Sun] Canada Day
[Sun] Concert for Diana (London UK)
[Mon] Canada Day statutory holiday (no BS service)
This Week Is … Helen Keller Deaf-Blindness Awareness Week
This Month Is … Soul Food Month

BULL’S BITS

WOULD YOU RATHER?
You run down the list while your guest/caller/co-host decides which choice is more palatable …
• Double espresso OR Folgers Instant?
• Hummer OR hybrid?
• Watching “America’s Got Talent” OR watching your kid play soccer?
• Bacon & eggs OR granola & juice?
• Owning an Apple iPhone OR Nintendo Wii?
• The aroma of just-baked cinnamon buns OR the smell of freshly-made cotton candy?
• Working 500 ft in-the-air OR working 500 ft underground?
• Skimpy bikini OR form-fitting one-piece?
• Trying to talk to someone wearing an iPod OR trying to talk to someone who’s on a cellphone?
• Hot ‘n sticky OR cloudy ‘n cool?

BS PHONE STARTER:
What’s the absolute best vacation destination in Canada?

BS RANDOM JOKE:
The nice thing about an antique is that if you crack it, it only increases the value.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: Take note, ladies. If you have THIS men think you are more intelligent.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Red hair.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Never make promises that you can’t keep after a few beers. After a few beers, never make promises.

Monthly Planning Calendar in Tomorrow’s Edition of “The Bull Sheet”!