Wednesday, June 13, 2007 Edition: #3552
Nuthin’ Like a Bull in Your Radio Shop!
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
TODAY the new book “The Other Woman” is published, an anthology of stories from a variety of women about love & betrayal, including Canadian radio/TV personality Mary Jo Eustace whose actor/husband Dean McDermott famously dumped her for Hollywood heiress Tori Spelling (hey, be happy MJ – he’s got his punishment!) . . . TONIGHT comedian Tracy Morgan (“30 Rock”) hosts the 1st-ever “Guy’s Choice Awards” (Spike), which features odd accolades ladled out to the likes of Adam Sandler (‘Ultimate Guy’s Guy’); Will Ferrell (‘Funniest M-F’); and Jessica Alba’s boyfriend, Cash Warren (‘Luckiest Bastard’) . . . TONIGHT the 5th season of the summer stand-up competition “Last Comic Standing” debuts (NBC) with new host Bill Bellamy, this time showcasing comedians from around-the-world who are vying for a talent contract, a half-hour TV comedy special, and the $250,000 grand prize . . . Recently-crowned ‘Miss Universe’, Riyo Mori of Japan, is hoping to land a role on the hit TV series “Heroes” (NBC/Global) in the role of ‘Yaeko’, a love interest for one of the main characters (she lived in Belleville ON for 3 years, finishing high school & studying ballet) . . . TONIGHT “Top Chef 3: Miami” premieres (Bravo), the culinary competition who’s latest cast includes 15 sous-chefs, restaurateurs, caterers and even a Jamaican cheesemaker . . . Looks like the new host of “The View” (ABC/CTV) taking over for Rosie O’Donnell THIS FALL is going to be 51-year-old comedian/actress Whoopi Goldberg (she’s currently hosting the syndicated radio show “Wake Up With Whoopi”) . . . Documentary maker Michael Moore (“Fahrenheit 9/11”) claims he’s stashed a copy of his new healthcare doc “Sicko” in Canada because he’s worried US authorities will try to confiscate it as part of the investigation into his unauthorized trip to Cuba (he’s annoying but he sure knows how to hype a movie) . . . “Dreamgirls” actor Eddie Murphy has vowed to take responsibility and ‘do the right thing’ if a DNA test he took MONDAY proves he’s the father of ex-lover Melanie Brown’s 2-month-old daughter . . . And buzz has it that food-challenged Nicole Richie is expecting a baby with her Good Charlotte boyfriend Joel Madden as recent pics show the “Simple Life” star with a bloated belly (in her case, that could just mean she swallowed an olive).
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Kellie Pickler – THIS AFTERNOON the “American Idol” alum (“I Wonder”) is on the “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CityTV).
• Prince – He’s re-signed with Columbia Records to distribute his upcoming album, “Planet Earth”, due JULY 24th. He kicks off his summer tour AUGUST 1st in London.
• Radiohead – A ballet based on their music is set to premiere at the “Edinburgh International Festival” in Scotland this AUGUST. The piece is titled “Ride the Beast”.
• Rob Thomas – He’s just launched his own label, R Tel Records, with the mandate of ‘developing & nurturing acts who are left behind’ by major labels. Like matchbox twenty perhaps?
• Satellite Party – TONIGHT Perry Farrell’s new alt-rock band visits “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC).
• Toby Keith – TONIGHT he flogs his new album “Big Dog Daddy” on “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC).
• Trace Adkins – TONIGHT the “Ladies Love Country Boys” singer performs at the 2007 President’s Dinner in Washington DC, which is expected to draw over 5,000 to the Washington Convention Center and raise some $7.5 million for Republican election campaigns.
New terms leaking into the lingo …
• ‘Blogola’ – The new version of ‘payola’. It’s used to influence bloggers to write about a given product, TV show, movie, etc. The ‘pay’ is often in the form of freebies or access. (You can always spot blogola … it looks like a press release.)
• ‘Frenemies’ – Friends that are only too eager to stab you in the back. (“Now that the queen bee’s in prison, all of Paris Hilton’s frenemies are trying to take over as Hollywood’s party maven.”)
• ‘Lifecasting’ – Using a webcam to broadcast one’s activities over the Internet 24/7. (It’s about the only thing that makes regular TV seem exciting.)
• ‘Man Flu’ – What a guy with a common cold is said to be suffering from, thanks to the male tendency to exaggerate the effects. (“Sorry we can’t make it for dinner. Darryl’s down with man flu and will likely be out of commission for at least a week.”)
NO LATE FEES, JUST IMMOLATION:
Apple is negotiating with film studios to allow it to offer new movies for rent at its iTunes store at the same time they’re released on DVD. The rentals would be available for a set number of days after which they would, in effect, self-destruct. Presumably the movies could be viewed on video iPods, computers, or by connecting the company’s Apple TV device to a television set. However, reports say the movie studios are demanding that Apple take steps to prevent illegal copies of movies from being played via its Apple TV device before they agree to any licensing deals. (In related news, your neighborhood video store just went up for lease.)
– “Wall Street Journal”
HORROR IS TANKING:
The body count is piling up in Hollywood but not all the cadavers are onscreen as many of this year’s horror films have arrived dead in the water. LAST YEAR the studios released 23 horror movies. THIS YEAR the tally will be 42, nearly double, but often the box office has been anemic. So what’s up with that? Call it a market correction. Call it a slump. Call it audience fatigue with crazed killers, vampires and jiggling coeds. Among the fright flicks people seem to have stayed away from in droves: “Rise: Blood Hunter”, “Primeval” and “Blood & Chocolate”. Just-opened “Hostel Part II” made only $8.7 million worldwide. (It’s time for Texas Chainsaw Massacre 29”!)
– “Los Angeles Times”
WEIRD WORLD OF BS:
• In Poland, a 65-year-old man who fell into a coma after he was hit by a train in 1988 has awakened after 19 years to find that the Communist party is no longer in power; food is no longer rationed; and there are no longer huge line-ups for gasoline. What amazes him most? The number of people walking around moaning on their cellphones about how bad things are.
• In England, 38-year-old artist Adam Morrigan is creating his latest masterworks from … freeway pizza. He’s set up a ‘roadkill hotline’ for people to call whenever they find a flattened animal on the road, then he whizzes by and scoops up the carcass. Among his many creations on sale: ‘Squashed Bunny & Fox in a Frame’ for circa $70,000.
• In Iowa, a woman is facing up to 2 years in jail for stealing … 3 rolls of bathroom tissue from the Marshall County Courthouse. The stiff sentence is due to prior convictions. Seems she was born for the job of taking T-P … her family name is Butts.
• In the Czech Republic, a 20-year-old armed robber who targeted fast-food restaurants has been grabbed by the ear and marched to the police station … by his mommy. The 44-year-old mother spotted her son in closed circuit footage aired on a local crime watch TV show.
• In Italy, a new robot ‘watchdog’ is being used to patrol art galleries. Scientists at Turin’s Politecnico University developed the mechanical mutt named ‘Argo’ which is equipped with cameras & a signaling device. It also has an electronic nose that can sniff out changes in temperature and humidity that could damage priceless paintings. Unlike a real watchdog, it doesn’t bark, bite or shed. And unlike ‘rent-a-cops’, it doesn’t sleep on-the-job.
THE 5-SECOND RULE IS WRONG:
You know that old adage that food dropped on the floor is okay to eat as long as you retrieve it within 5 seconds? Well, Connecticut College biology prof Anne Bernhard & her students have tested the theory out and found … you’ve got way more time than that. In experiments, apple slices and Skittles candies were dropped at timed intervals ranging from 5 seconds to 5 minutes. Not until the 1-minute mark did bacteria develop on apple slices, and it took a full 5 minutes for organisms to appear on Skittles. Bottom line, says Bernhard, as long as you eat moist food within 30 seconds after it falls, you’re likely to be safe. (Provided you’ve cleaned your floor in the past decade.)
– “Chicago Tribune”
DOWNTIME IS GOOD:
A recent study finds that fully 56% of the workforce does not take advantage of all their vacation time. And when they do get away, 35% of managers check in with the office daily. One-quarter of the workforce also says their bosses expect them to be accessible while on vacation. But get this … related studies show that not taking time off can lead to burnout and emotional or physical illness. (This is our round about way of telling you we’re booking off a week in JULY.)
CURE FOR MALE MENOPAUSE?
A British company has launched a new medicinal gel to treat ‘hypogonadism’, a condition that causes reduced libido, baldness, weight gain and lethargy in men. The condition, compared to female menopause, is the result of the natural reduction of testosterone production in men over age 30. A study by the manufacturer claims 6-to-12% of 30-plus men are affected by the condition. Applied to the body, the gel is absorbed through the skin. (And what … helps you grow a new pair?)
BS AMAZING FACT:
Adoptive parents spend a larger percentage of their total income on their children than biological parents do. (This is why Brangelina will eventually go broke.)
– “Scientific American”
AND WE QUOTE:
“I never say never. But I think we’ve kind of said it and done it.”
– “The Sopranos” creator David Chase, telling the “Newark Star-Ledger” that odds are slim he’ll ever make a feature film based on his just-ended series. Too bad, a movie might have a better ending!
BS CHRONOMETER 06.13.07
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1953  Tim Allen (Dick), Denver CO, movie actor (“Wild Hogs”, “Cars”, “The Santa Clause”)/TV actor (“Home Improvement” 1991-99) COMING UP: “Toy Story 3”, now filming for release in 2009.
1963  Paul De Lisle, Exeter ON, alt-rock bassist (Smash Mouth-“All Star”, “Walkin’ on the Sun”)
1970  Rivers Cuomo, Yogaville CT, alt-rock singer/guitarist (Weezer-“Perfect Situation”, “Beverly Hills”)
1974  Steve-O (Stephen Glover), London UK, TV/movie stuntman (“Jackass” 2000-02/”Jackass: The Movie”, “Jackass Number Two”)
1986  Mary-Kate & Ashley Olsen, Sherman Oaks CA, twins who co-run a billion-dollar consumer-goods company (clothing, cosmetics, hair products, home decor, etc)/sometime actresses (began on TV sitcom “Full House” [1987-95] at 6 months of age ) FACTOID: Ashley is renting a $22,000-a-month party house in Malibu CA where she plans to celebrate reaching the legal drinking age with her sister.
TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Juggling Day”. You can create the sound of juggling with your co-host by slapping your knees quickly and throwing in lots of grunts and interjections like ‘Hey!’.
• “Kitchen Klutzes Day”, celebrating not-so-accomplished cooks by encouraging them to prepare a recipe that contains no more than 4 ingredients (not including water, salt & pepper). It’s a good day for dinner horror stories.
• “St Anthony of Padua Day” (D-1231) in Portugal. According to an old Portuguese tradition, on this day a maiden can learn the identity of her future husband by filling her mouth with water and keeping it there until she hears a man’s name.
TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1898  ‘Yukon Territory’ is organized, with Dawson as capital (important to the future development of the GMC monster SUV)
1993  Federal Conservatives choose Kim Campbell as leader, thereby making her 1st female PC leader, 1st female PM, and 1st PC to be PM without being elected (she lasts as PM from June 25-November 4)
1966  US Supreme Court’s ‘Miranda Decision’, requiring police to inform criminal suspects of their constitutional rights BEFORE interrogation (“You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to be speak to an attorney, and to have an attorney present during any questioning. If you cannot afford a lawyer, one will be provided for you at government expense.”)
TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1992  World’s ‘Smallest Recorded Baby’ is born, measuring just 6 inches and weighing only 11 ounces (they name it Nicole Richie)
AND REMEMBER . . .
[Thurs] Family History Day
[Thurs-June 17] 7th Bonnaroo Music & Arts Festival (Manchester TN)
[Fri] 34th Daytime Emmy Awards
[Fri] Smile Power Day
[Sun] 18th MuchMusic Video Awards
[Sun] Fathers Day
This Week Is … Families in Business Week
This Month Is … Perennial Gardening Month
REAL BUT REALLY DUMB FATHERS DAY GIFTS:
• ‘Bacon Wallet’ – For those who bring home the bacon, now there’s an appropriate place to put it … a wallet looks like a half-pound slab.
• ‘Cell Phoney’ – A little electronic device that simulates the ringtones of popular cellphones. Just press one of the buttons and watch everyone nearby scramble to answer.
• ‘Grog-Flavored Pirate Mints’ – The perfect way to put booze on pop’s breath even if he doesn’t drink.
• ‘Hops Holster’ – Why should he wait till after he drinks it to put that beer around his waist? This ultimate can holder straps on like a belt, holds an entire 6-pack, and keeps it cold.
• ‘Referee Bop Bag’ – An inflatable ref for him to take out his temper on whenever there’s a bad call during TV sports. Saves heaving a brick through the bigscreen!
BS PHONE STARTER:
Ladies, which male celebrity are you ashamed to admit you’re attracted to? (Simon Cowell tops a new “Glamour” magazine poll, thanks to his ‘man-boobs, flat-top hair & Cuban heels’. Also mentioned: Mick Jagger and Bill Clinton.)
BS WEB GOODIE:
Here’s a great bit you might adapt to your market. TONIGHT at the Arlington Cinema ‘N Drafthouse, across the Potomac from Washington DC, US government employees are battling for the title of ‘Funniest Fed’ in an onstage stand-up comedy contest. Civil servants and military employees are eligible to compete.
• First ask a contestant to supply a word(s) for each of the following, which you make note of …
1. A dark era in history.
2. A cow’s body part.
3. An embarrassing noise a person might make.
4. Any liquid that you put in your car.
5. A game people play when flirting.
6. An allergic reaction.
7. An Olympic sport.
8. Something you might do in a place of worship.
9. The most boring board game.
10. A bodily fluid.
11. A jungle animal.
12. What you might see people doing at a funeral.
• Now read the story, using the contestants words to fill in the blanks. Today’s story is “How I’ll Spend My Summer Vacation” …
This summer I intend to have the best time since (1). I’m going to grab life by the (2), get outside and (3). I’ll slather (4) all over me and play (5) on the beach. I’m gonna (6), and (7), and (8) until I drop. I’ll play two rounds of (9) every day. I’m gonna guzzle (10) and eat (11) whenever I want. I’ll make every minute count because, come September, it’s back to (12).
BS RANDOM JOKE:
Hey, I’m out of bed and dressed. What more do you want?
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: 10% of moms will buy THIS for their man on “Fathers Day”.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Lingerie (for her to wear, not him!).
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
If you’re unhappy, you can always change your mind.