Monday, June 11, 2007 Edition: #3550
If the Sheet Fits, Buy It!
WEEKEND TABLOID & BLOG BS:
• 76-year-old movie actor Sean Connery has announced he won’t come out of retirement to reprise his role as father of ‘Indiana Jones’ (played by 64-year-old Harrison Ford) in the now-shooting 4th instalment of the film series. He says he thought long & hard about it but in the end, decided retirement is just too much fun. Translation: I’d have trouble remembering my lines.
• Wed on the weekend: 35-year-old “CSI: NY” actress Claire Forlani (‘Dr Peyton Driscoll‘) & 41-year-old “Desperate Housewives” actor Dougray Scott (‘Ian Hainsworth’) in a private civil ceremony in Italy.
– “People Magazine”
• Lesbian website afterellen.com has issued its own ‘Hot 100′ list in response to “Maxim” magazine’s annual breakdown of the hottest women in showbiz. The site ranks “L Word” actress Leisha Hailey as #1, followed by Angelina Jolie and Kate Winslet.
– “E! Online”
• Is Britney Spears dating her drug counselor? The 25-year-old rehabbed star insists her relationship with 38-year-old John Sundahl is purely professional but her soon-to-be-ex-hubby Kevin Federline claims they’re dating. One insider says Sundahl is so in love that he’s risking his career just to keep her happy.
– “National Enquirer”
• Piers Crombleholme, the dreadlocked great-grandson of “Lord of the Rings” author JRR Tolkien, has admitted in a British court to possessing a variety of drugs including cannabis, ecstasy, cocaine … and the horse tranquilizer Ketamine. He faces numerous charges after police raided his home and found a grow op. Seems somebody’s not getting ‘grampa money’.
– “Contact Music”
• Asked which of the many drugs he took was hardest to quit, Ozzy Osbourne says it was a legal one … cigarettes. He tells “Guitar World” he used to cover his entire body with nicotine patches but then he’d still smoke. His heart would start beating like crazy and he’d break out in sweats. But one day he just quit … cold turkey.
– “The Scoop”
• Britain’s 22-year-old Prince Harry (Charles & Diana’s #2 son) is said to be partying his way through special military training in Canada. The unruly royal, who’s been held back from a posting to Iraq, arrived at the British Army Training Unit in Alberta LAST WEEK for live ammunition training in preparation for a possible posting to Afghanistan. But he’s reportedly been spending off-duty hours soaking up suds and hitting on the honeys at Calgary nightclub Cowboys. A royal insider says it’s a PR disaster and no one seems to have the nerve to tell the prince to grow up.
– “News of the World”
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Bon Jovi – Guitarist Richie Sambora has entered a rehab facility in Los Angeles for an undisclosed problem.
• George Michael – He’s walked free from a London courtroom, sentenced to 100 hours community service and a 2-year driving ban after pleading guilty to ‘driving while unfit’.
• Gwen Stefani – She’s going back into the recording studio with No Doubt to record the band’s first album in 6 years beginning NEXT MONTH.
• Kanye West – He celebrated his 30th birthday in style at the Louis Vuitton mansion in NYC but his name was misspelled on the birthday cake … it said ‘Kayne’ instead of ‘Kanye’.
• LeAnn Rimes – SUNDAY she sang the anthem before Game 2 of the “NBA Finals” in San Antonio TX.
• Olivia Newton-John – A judge has cleared the way for her lawsuit to proceed against Universal Music International. She claims she’s owed over $1 million in royalties for the 1978 soundtrack of “Grease”. The record company was trying to get the case dismissed.
• Outkast – Andre 3000 is set to play late ‘Rat Pack’ singer Sammy Davis Jr in the upcoming bio-film “Sammy & Kim”. His movie résumé includes roles in “Be Cool”, “Four Brothers”, and “Idlewild”.
• Paul McCartney – The buzz coming from backstage at a UK TV show where he recently performed is that, as well as skin stretched way too tight on his face, the 64-year-old also has a hairpiece.
• Spice Girls – As previously noted, they’ve been working on a new recording and are now said to be planning to announce dates for a worldwide tour later THIS YEAR.
• White Stripes – Jack White says he considered becoming a priest and was even accepted at a Wisconsin seminary before he decided to be a musician.
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SCHED:
• “Big Love” – TONIGHT season 2 of the hit drama series starring Bill Paxton debuts (HBO), continuing the story of a Salt Lake City polygamist who lives with his 3 wives and 7 children.
• Feist – TONIGHT the Canadian indie rocker performs on “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC).
• The Fray – TONIGHT they kick off the cross-continent “How to Save a Life” summer tour in Minneapolis MN. OK Go is the opening act on the tour’s 1st leg.
• Jennifer Lopez – TODAY she’s scheduled to give a court deposition in a lawsuit filed by a man accusing her of stealing his idea for the TV series “South Beach”. She was the executive producer of the now-defunct show which debuted in January 2006.
• John Mayer – TONIGHT he performs on the “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel).
• Marty Stuart – TONIGHT the country vet visits “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” (CBS).
• Rihanna – TODAY she takes her “Umbrella” to “The View” (ABC/CTV).
COLD, COLD HEART:
Research teams in several institutions are racing to become first to perfect a method for placing humans into a state of frozen hibernation. The technique involves injecting a saline solution into the bloodstream which rapidly sends body temperature from 98.6 F to 50 F (37 C to 10 C). Experiments on pigs have stopped heart & brain activity for up to 2 hours with no long-term effect. Scientists are now ready to test the effect on human volunteers, with the hope that future victims of accidents or wars can be quickly frozen while they await medical treatment. After short-term hibernation is perfected, it’s hoped that someday astronauts can be placed in a state of suspended animation for long-distance space travel. (You can accomplish this cheaply by watching back-to-back episodes of “According to Jim”.)
– “Times of London”
SWAPPING IS THE NEW SHOPPING:
You paid a fortune for something fashionable but it fails to look fab when you wear it. It’s just too nice to give to a thrift shop … so what do you do? The latest trend among the seriously style savvy is swapping. From groups of friends hosting informal evenings to offload their cast-offs, to international online swaps, and even trendy club nights dedicated to exchanging clothes, trading that bought-on-impulse outfit for something else is becoming increasingly more popular. One online swap site has over 20,000 members worldwide and close to 8,000 transactions monthly.
– “Daily Mail”
POTENTIAL FOR BETTER RADIO RATINGS:
Aliens are alive and well … and could be tuning into vintage human radio broadcasts, according to scientists. Dr Michael Perryman says that radio waves that we began propagating outwards from Earth in 1927 are now 80 light-years away. That means they are now within reach of hundreds of potentially habitable planets. If there is intelligent life out there, they’ve likely monitored the signals and know we are here. (Someday an alien will emerge from a spaceship and demand, “Take us to your George Burns.”)
– Ananova News
WORLD’S WORST PLACE NAMES:
• Twatt, Scotland
• Muff, Ireland
• Looneyville, Texas
• Wetwang, England
• Dildo, Newfoundland
• Bald Knob, Arkansas
• Hell, Michigan
• Toad Suck, Arkansas
• Horneytown, North Carolina
• F—ing, Austria
Researchers from Mid Sweden University have developed interactive paper that emits recorded sound in response to a user’s touch. The prototype ‘digital paper‘ uses conductive ink and printed speakers to emit the sounds. Project leader Dr Mikael Gulliksson says one interesting use might be on cigarette packaging, so instead of having a written message warning you of health dangers, you would get a spoken one. (Another even more dynamic usage would be to create the ‘Whoppie Newspaper’.)
– BBC News
BS AMAZING FACTS:
• Approximately 15% of “Father’s Day” cards are bought by wives for their husbands.
• No televised sports event covered by a major American broadcast network has ever drawn such tiny ratings in primetime as THIS YEAR’s NHL “Stanley Cup Finals” on NBC-TV.
– AP Sports
AND WE QUOTE:
• “I would hope going forward that the public and the media will focus on more important things like the men and women serving our country in Iraq and other places around-the-world.”
– Paris Hilton (aka prisoner #9818783) getting all humble and embarrassed after she was sent back to the slammer. It was likely issued as a press release because she didn’t think she could manage to say it with a straight face.
BS CHRONOMETER 06.11.07
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1949  Frank Beard, Frankston TX, classic rock drummer who is ironically the only member of the band WITHOUT a beard (ZZ Top-“Concrete & Steel”, “Sharp Dressed Man”)
1952  Donnie Van Zant, Jacksonville FL, country/rock singer (w/Hank Williams Jr-“That’s How They Do It in Dixie”, Van Zant-“Help Somebody”)
1959  Hugh Laurie, Oxford UK, TV actor (‘Dr Gregory House‘ on “House” since 2004)
1978  Joshua Jackson, Vancouver BC, movie actor (“Bobby”, “Cruel Intentions”)/TV actor (“Dawson’s Creek” 1998-2003)
1986  Shia LaBeouf [‘SHY-uh lah-BOOF’], Los Angeles CA, movie actor (“Disturbia”, “Bobby”) COMING UP: Plays ‘Spike’ in “Transformers” (JULY 3rd), then Harrison Ford’s sidekick in the as yet untitled 4th ‘Indiana Jones’ adventure (MAY 2008).
BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Hug Holiday”, an annual observance begun by some eternal optimist somewhere who thinks most of the world’s troubles can be solved with a tight clinch. C’mon now, don’t be shy … group hug everybody!
• “King Kamehameha Day”, honoring Hawaii’s first king who unified the Hawaiian Islands in 1810. Not very significant to the rest of us … but it sure is fun saying ‘Kah-MAY-uh-MAY-uh’!
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2001  1st episode of NBC-TV reality show “Fear Factor”, offering $50,000 cash prize to contestants who dare to confront their worst fears (walking tightropes, being dragged along the ground by horses, leaping across moving semi-trucks, letting snakes crawl all over them, etc)
2002  “American Idol: The Search for a Superstar” debuts (FOX) as a summer replacement series, but quickly goes on to become the biggest show on US television
2004  Critically-panned “Garfield: The Movie”, starring the voice of Bill Murray, coughs up a giant hairball in movie theaters (they make a sequel in 2006 anyway)
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
2002  59-year-old Paul McCartney weds 34-year-old Heather Mills at Castle Leslie in Ireland (what an expensive idea this turns out to be!)
TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1983  1st federal PC leader from Québec since Confederation (the beloved Brian Mulroney, father of “Canadian Idol” host Ben)
TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1994  World’s ‘Largest Popcorn Container’ is unveiled in Jacksonville FL which, at 8-feet-tall, holds 6,620 cubic feet of popcorn
COMING UP . . .
[Tues] Machine Day
[Tues] Taco Day
[Tues] Kitchen Klutzes Day
[Wed] Juggling Day
[Thurs] Family History Day
[Thurs-June 17] 7th Bonnaroo Music & Arts Festival (Manchester TN)
THIS WEEK IS . . .
Automotive Service Professionals Week / Credit Awareness Week / Flag Week / Families in Business Week / Men’s Health Week / Superman Week / Youth Cowboy Poetry Week
• At an ATM you ask to withdraw $40 but when the money comes out, you find you’ve been given $60. Do you inform the bank?
• It’s a sweltering night and you don’t have AC. Your new neighbors are away and their swimming pool looks inviting. Do you cool off in it?
• You visit a co-worker who’s supposedly at home recovering from injuries suffered in an accident but you find him doing heavy manual labor with no sign of physical pain. Do you snitch to your boss?
• You’re buying a newspaper from a box on the street. As you’re closing the door, your neighbor asks you to let her take a paper for free because she has no change. Do you let her?
• A friend starting up a business says he can’t afford the cost of software that you already have. He asks that you make a free copy for him. Do you?
• After a minor accident, you take your car in to have a tail light fixed but when you pick it up you find they also repaired a dent not related to the mishap. The repairman informs you the shop always does more than asked because it’s all paid for by insurance anyway. Do you report it?
BS PHONE STARTER:
• “Grey’s Anatomy” actor Isaiah Washington (‘Dr Preston Burke’) has apologized for his infamous bad behavior and undergone sensitivity training, but he’s just been axed from the show anyway. Is it fair?
• LAST NIGHT “The Sopranos” series finalé aired (HBO). How would you have had the series end?
BS WEB GOODIE:
Forget the TV show “Heroes”, these folks are the real deal! The online ‘World Superhero Registry’ gives the globe’s undercover fighters the chance to ‘come out of the phone booth’. Our fave – ‘Angle-Grinder Man’, an odd-job man by day who dons his costume & cutting machinery by night to set free illegally parked cars that have been clamped with a ‘boot’ in London. Then there’s ‘Terrifica’, who patrols NYC clubs looking for women who’ve had a little too much to drink and are in danger of being taken advantage of by men. And Canada’s ‘Polar Man’ shovels seniors’ porches & sidewalks in winter, and prowls streets in search for vandals in summer.
BS RANDOM JOKE:
Once I thought I was wrong … but I was mistaken.
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: Tall guys do THIS quicker than short guys.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Become agitated when provoked.
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
What a world! We’ve come so far that community service is considered punishment.
BS FRESH MEAT:
Welcome aboard to this week’s “BS” samplers that include Kieron Elliott @ 96.3 Rock Radio, Glasgow, Scotland; Candace Woodside @ Magic 93 [CHLQ] Charlottetown PEI; Donald Cronan @ All American Country [WBIO] Owensboro KY; and Olivia Graves @ The Rocker 107.7 [WRKR] Kalamazoo MI. Remember, you can subscribe or update your subscription 24/7 right here – http://thebullsheet.com/