Tuesday, June 13, 2006        Edition: #3304
Nuthin’ Like a Bull in Your Radio Shop!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
TONIGHT gross-out reality show “Fear Factor” (NBC/Global) kicks off a 3-part series of all-star episodes – reality TV all-stars, that is, the likes of Jonathan Baker (“Amazing Race”), Jonny Fairplay (“Survivor”), Anthony Federov (“American Idol”), etc . . . TONIGHT “Tuesday Night Book Club” debuts (CBS), reality TV’s version of “Desperate Housewives”, where women get together to dis the other women who aren’t there . . . TODAY & tomorrow Christie’s will auction off the estate of the late Princess Margaret (Queen Elizabeth’s sister who died at age 71 in 2002), including her wedding tiara, Fabergé gewgaws, Regency furniture, and some of her many portraits (her kids are selling to pay off Britain’s steep estate taxes) . . . 30-year-old Irish actor & former party animal Colin Farrell has reportedly fallen hard for co-star Lake Bell (ex-“Boston Legal”) on the set of the new film “Pride & Glory” (don’t get your hopes up, girl – his previous wife lasted 4 months) . . . Mick Jagger has forked out $3.95 million for a 2nd home on the Caribbean island of Mustique (a 2-bedroom villa next door to his existing property), adding to his real estate holdings that already include a 26-room mansion in London, a chateau in France, a 5-bedroom villa in the Hollywood Hills, and an apartment in Manhattan (no wonder the Stones keep touring – he needs like a bazillion a year just for property tax) . . . And inspired by Eminem’s “8 Mile”, Kevin Federline is reportedly working on a script and trying to find funding for a movie about an aspiring rapper that would star – Kevin Federline (K-Fed is about as likely to be a movie star as Britney Spears is to be ‘Mother of the Year’).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Dixie Chicks – Their website dismisses reports about slow ticket sales for their upcoming “Accidents & Accusations” tour, noting that the OCTOBER 28th concert in Toronto sold out in 8 minutes, and a 2nd show had to be added.
• Fiona Apple – TONIGHT she’s on “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC).
• Franz Ferdinand – They’re supporting the ‘Save The Children’ campaign that’s advocating free healthcare in sub-Saharan Africa. Drummer Paul Thomson notes that more than 250,000 African kids die each year because they can’t afford the medical fees to see a doctor.
• Ludacris – He jumped at the chance to narrate the new women’s basketball documentary “The Heart of the Game” in order to show he’s not a misogynist, a criticism leveled at him by Oprah Winfrey due to his rap lyrics.
• Melissa Etheridge – TODAY she guests on the “Oprah Winfrey Show”.
• Taylor Hicks – TODAY the “American Idol” winner’s debut single, “Do I Make You Proud?”/”Takin’ It to The Streets”, is released. Helping to jumpstart sales: 25 cents from every copy sold goes to the Red Cross.
• Willie Nelson – He’ll reprise his role as ‘Uncle Jesse’ in the upcoming “Dukes of Hazzard 2”. He’s the only headlining star from the original film appearing in the prequel that’s expected to go directly to DVD.
• Also on CD TODAY: Billy Joel’s “12 Gardens Live”; Busta Rhymes’ “The Big Bang”; Alison Moorer’s “Getting Somewhere”; Keb’ Mo’s “The Suitcase”; Widespread Panic’s “Earth to America”; Sonic Youth’s “Rather Ripped”; and Jerry Lee Lewis’ “A Half Century of Hits” box set.

TODAY’S VIDEO RELEASES:
• “The End of Silence” ( Drama ): A Canadian film most notable as the acting debut of  Kingston-based singer-songwriter Sarah Harmer. It’s getting a 90-day exclusive release at Blockbuster stores before wider distribution.
• “I’m Going To Tell You A Secret” ( Documentary ): A behind-the-scenes look at Madonna’s 2004 “Re-Invention Tour” that aired on MTV. The DVD/CD package includes 14 tracks from the film and the controversial “American Life” music video that was pulled shortly before it was set to premiere.
• “Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang” ( Murder Mystery ): Robert Downey Jr plays a petty thief posing as an actor. When he’s brought to Hollywood for an unlikely audition, he gets caught in the middle of a murder investigation. Val Kilmer & Michelle Monaghan co-star in this extreme makeover of a 1966 film of the same name.
• “Neil Young: Heart of Gold” ( Documentary ): Jonathan Demme directed this low-key concert film shot during a 2-night performance at Nashville’s Ryman Auditorium. Young performs with the band from his recent album “Prairie Wind”, plus old friends such as Emmylou Harris.
• “16 Blocks” ( Action Thriller ): Bruce Willis plays an aging cop who’s assigned the seemingly easy task of escorting a fast-talking witness (Mos Def) from police custody to a courthouse a few blocks away. Not surprisingly, the bad guys try to stop them from making it. Shot in Toronto.
• “The World’s Fastest Indian” (Adventure/Biography):  Anthony Hopkins stars in the life story of New Zealander Burt Munro, who spent years building a 1920 Indian motorcycle which helped him set the land-speed world record at Utah’s Bonneville Salt Flats in 1967.
• Also on DVD TODAY: “Medium: The Complete1st Season”; “Dora the Explorer: Animal Adventures”; “Adam Sandler Collection” (“Big Daddy”, “50 First Dates”, “Mr Deeds”); “The Princess Bride” (1987); and “Valley of the Dolls” (1967).

THE EMPEROR’S NEW CLOAK:
Researchers say they are within 5 years of perfecting the ‘invisibility cloak’, a new technology which will make objects virtually disappear. Two separate research groups have published technical blueprints for the creation of ‘metamaterials’ that change how light travels around an object in order to create the illusion that it’s simply not there. Not surprisingly, the research is getting funding from the US military, which hopes to use the technique to cloak military hardware in strategic locations. (Great idea, but how will they find where they left it?)
– “The Guardian”

LAUGHTER GOOD FOR LUNGS:
A recent study finds that women who laugh heartily at least 5 times a day are less likely to be flat-chested than those who rarely laugh. Experts say laughing increases the flow of oxygen to the chest and boosts circulation, which in turn leads to a healthy bosom. (Translation from scientific gobbledygook – fat people laugh more.)
– “Cleo”

THEY AREN’T STUPID IN STUTTGART:
A new study of IQ scores in Europe claims that Germans are the smartest Europeans, followed by the Dutch, Poles, Swedes & Italians. Professor Richard Lynn of Northern Ireland’s University of Ulster also suggests that people in large cities are smarter than rural folks because intelligent people are more likely to move to cities. He also claims that countries with cold climates have more intelligent citizens because their ancestors had to develop more brain power in order to find food in harsh conditions. Lynn’s conclusions are not without controversy – LAST YEAR he declared that men are more intelligent than woman, averaging about 5 extra IQ points. (Apparently he uses the dartboard method of estimation.)
– “Times of London”

SHE SAID IT:
“Last time I ate was like 2, 3 years ago. I promise I will eat next week, swear to God.”
– Emaciated celebrity twig Nicole Richie, making a very thin joke.

NO PRISON BREAK HERE:
Japanese female boxer Nanako Kikuchi has retained her World Boxing Council straw-weight championship (under 105 lbs) in a unanimous decision against – a Thai convict in a prison in Bangkok. The challenger, Siriporn Thaweesuk, who is serving a 10-year sentence for dealing drugs, had been promised release if she won. The loss means she still has 4 more years in the slammer. I feel sorry for shattering her hopes, Kikuchi says, but I have to fight to win. (Talk about your ‘bar’ fight!)
– “Social Studies”

WEIRD WORLD OF BS:
• High school criminology students working at a ‘mock crime scene’ in a Fort Lauderdale FL park laughed when they stumbled across a man propped up against a wall who looked dead. They figured it was just more phony evidence planted by their instructor. But real-life cops verified it was the real deal, apparently a homeless man who died of natural causes. (If this  wasn’t an episode of “CSI: Miami” yet, you can bet it will be.)
• A female DJ in Germany is suing her ex-boss for unfair dismissal. 25-year-old Lady Ray can’t understand why it mattered if her  skirts were too short and her tops too low … on the radio. (Hey, that’s likely how she got the job in the first place.)
• District judge Gregory Presnell of Orlando FL has become so fed up listening to a pair of lawyers argue for weeks over where to interview a witness in a civil lawsuit that he’s ordered an unusual settlement – at 4pm on JUNE 30th, they will decide the matter in a game of ‘Rock Paper Scissors’!
• A 94-year-old woman in Luegde, Germany was found slumped over in her chair by her son. Neither he nor a local doctor who was called in could find a pulse, so she was declared legally dead. It was then that Maria Mueller suddenly sprang up and said, “Not likely, not until I see if Germany wins the World Cup!”

BS AMAZING FACT:
In the early days of baseball, a fielder put a runner out by hitting him with the ball.

THE BULL SHEET 06.13.2K6

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1953 [53] Tim Allen (Dick), Denver CO, movie actor (“The Shaggy Dog”, “Toy Story”)/ex-TV sitcom actor (“Home Improvement” 1991-99)  COMING UP: “The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause”, opening NOVEMBER 3rd.

1963 [43] Paul De Lisle, Exeter ON, alt-rock bassist (Smash Mouth-“All Star”, “Walkin’ on the Sun”)

1970 [36] Rivers Cuomo, Yogaville CT, alt-rock singer/guitarist (Weezer-“Perfect Situation”, “Beverly Hills”)

1986 [20] Mary-Kate & Ashley Olsen, Sherman Oaks CA, twins who co-run a billion-dollar consumer-goods company (clothing, cosmetics, hair products, home decor, etc)/sometime actresses (began on TV sitcom “Full House” [1987-95] at 6 months of age )

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Juggling Day”. You can create the sound of juggling with your co-host by slapping your knees quickly and throwing in lots of grunts and interjections like ‘Hey!’.

• “Kitchen Klutzes Day”, celebrating not-so-accomplished cooks by encouraging them to prepare a recipe that contains no more than 4 ingredients (not including water, salt & pepper). It’s a good day for dinner horror stories.

• “St Anthony of Padua Day” (D-1231) in Portugal. According to an old Portuguese tradition, on this day a maiden can learn the identity of her future husband by filling her mouth with water and keeping it there until she hears a man’s name.

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1898 [108] ‘Yukon Territory’ is organized, with Dawson as capital

1993 [13] Federal Conservatives choose Kim Campbell as leader, thereby making her 1st female PC leader, 1st female PM, and 1st PC to be PM without being elected (she officially only serves as PM from  June 25-November 4)

1966 [40] US Supreme Court’s ‘Miranda Decision’, requiring police to inform criminal suspects of their constitutional rights BEFORE interrogation (“You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to be speak to an attorney, and to have an attorney present during any questioning. If you cannot afford a lawyer, one will be provided for you at government expense.”)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1992 [14] World’s ‘Smallest Recorded Baby’ is born (measures just 6 inches and weighs only 11 ounces)

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Wed] Family History Day
[Wed] American Flag Day
[Thurs] 2006 Songwriters Hall of Fame induction (NYC)
[Thurs] Nursing Assistants Day
[Fri] 5th Bonnaroo Music & Arts Festival (Manchester TN)
[Sun] MuchMusic Video Awards
[Sun] Fathers Day
[Thurs] US Open Golf begins (Mamaroneck NY)
This Week Is … Families in Business Week
This Month Is … Perennial Gardening Month

BULL’S BITS

REAL BUT REALLY DUMB FATHERS DAY GIFTS:
• “The Cooler Croozer” … A chrome cooler on a go-cart frame that zooms up to 40 mph. ($2,000)
• “Referee Bop Bag” … A blow-up ‘zebra’ you can punch out after a bad call. ($15)
• “Bar Stool Racer” … With this motorized bar stool you can drink & drive … immediately. ($1,700)
• “Sigmund Freud Action Figure” … Presumably the couch is extra. ($10)
• “XL Beer Glass” … Holds 5 beers, but you can honestly tell the wife you only had 1 drink. ($12)
• “The Daiquiri Whacker Gas-Powered Blender” … Make cocktails while camping! ($275)

BS WORLD CUP NAME GAME:
If you’ve been watching the World Cup you may have noticed that many of Brazil’s star players only go by one name – Ronaldo, for example. Run down the following list and have a guest/contestant try to decide whether each is a soccer player on Brazil’s 2006 World Cup roster or a variety of grape used for making wine …
GAME #1 –
• Robinho (Brazilian soccer player)
• Trebbiano (grape)
• Columbard (grape)
• Cafu (Brazilian soccer player)
• Dolcetto (grape)
• Lucio (Brazilian soccer player)
• Gamay (grape)
• Ricardinho (Brazilian soccer player)
• Brunello (grape)
• Kaka (Brazilian soccer player)

GAME #2 –
• Verdicchio (grape)
• Nebbiolo (grape)
• Julio Cesar (Brazilian soccer player)
• Cincinho (Brazilian soccer player)
• Tempranillo (grape)
• Gilberto (Brazilian soccer player)
• Adriano (Brazilian soccer player)
• Zinfandel (grape)
• Palomino (grape)
• Fred (Brazilian soccer player)

BS PHONE STARTER:
What’s the oddest thing you’ve ever held together with a safety pin? (TODAY is the 181st anniversary of its invention in 1825 by one Walter Hunt, who later sold the rights for a measly $400.)

BULL’S EYE:
Do on-air contests really build audience? It’s been estimated that only 3% of your listeners will ever call your radio station – for anything. It doesn’t matter if you’re giving away cars, cash … whatever. That should lead to some serious thinking about the real worth of on-air contests and the type of contests you run. Unless they offer entertainment value and/or the option for listeners to play along while they drive, work, etc … they’re just more on-air clutter that becomes a tune-out for many. Taking the 99th call and then airing the winner (“Ohmigod, I can’t believe it …”) just ain’t gonna cut it anymore.

BS RANDOM JOKES:
• Fathers get no respect … there are about 20 million tattoos that say ‘Mom’ for each one that says ‘Dad’.
• I have one nerve left and you’re getting on it …

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: Over the past decade, the popularity of THIS hobby has doubled among young people.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Knitting.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Words that soak into your ears are whispered not yelled.