Friday, June 7, 2019 – Edition: #6468

Sheet Happens!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Alec Baldwin will be Comedy Central’s next Roastee. In announcing the “honor”, Baldwin said: “Getting roasted will be the greatest honor of my lifetime besides being a father, a husband, hosting ‘SNL’ seventeen times, receiving Golden Globes, Emmys and working with Martin Scorsese. A Comedy Central rep added that: “Alec Baldwin has done so many great things, it will be a unique treat to spend a night focusing on everything he’d rather forget.” “The Comedy Central Roast of Alec Baldwin” will take place in New York — the tape and airdate will be announced at a later date.
(How is it that Alec Baldwin hasn’t already been roasted?)
-TheWrap
★ Amy Schumer jokes in her latest baby picture that she might have traded one of today’s most popular TV shows for motherhood. She’s been characteristically candid about the process of raising a newborn, for better or for worse, and on Tuesday night, she admitted that her son Gene is keeping her from enjoying “The Handmaid’s Tale”. Beside a picture of her cradling her sleeping son, Schumer wrote: “Oh okay so I can’t watch Handmaids anymore.” She added the hashtag “filled with regret.”
-PopCulture
★ There’s no escaping Baby Shark. Nickelodeon is developing an animated series based on the viral kids’ video and song. No other details are available yet about the project, which will be aimed at preschoolers. Nickelodeon’s executive vice-president of animation Ramsey Naito said: “Baby Shark has captured the imagination of millions of fans around the world, so it’s no surprise it’s one of the top 10 most-viewed videos on YouTube ever.”
-TVLine
★ Tracy Morgan was cursing his bad luck after his 2012 Bugatti was hit by a sports utility vehicle 15 minutes after he left the dealership with his new toy. He wasn’t laughing as he returned the scratched-up luxury car to Manhattan Motorcars in New York to assess the damage. Morgan paid around $2 million for the vehicle, and it still had dealership plates on when it was sideswiped by the SUV. He and the other motorist were uninjured in the crash.
(***See “This Day in Show Biz”, below)
-Canoe
★ Ed Sheeran is such a big fan of Heinz Ketchup that he has a tattoo of the food company’s logo on his arm. And to celebrate the brand’s 150th birthday, he’s created his very own version of the sauce, which has been rebranded as “Edchup” and features a special Ed-inspired tomato icon on every bottle. The special-edition bottles (containing standard Heinz ketchup) are available online now at HeinzEdchup.com, and will be available in supermarkets in mid-June.
-ContactMusic

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Kevin Costner, Tim Robinson, the Lumineers
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Dana Carvey, Emily Ratajkowski, Chloé Hilliard (R)
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Elisabeth Moss, Matt Bomer
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Olivia Wilde, Christopher Abbott, Janine Brito, Sebastian Thomson (R)
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Zach Braff, Ben Platt (R)
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Mindy Kaling, Jeff Ross
• “The Talk” (CBS): Ron Howard, guest co-host Diana-Maria Riva
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Kiefer Sutherland, Ellie Kemper, 2019 Raytheon MATHCOUNTS competition winner Daniel Mai
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Jaden & Willow Smith, Janet Mock
• “The Big Stage” (CW): Series premiere. Talented acts from around the world display their mastery of performance, with disciplines ranging from singing and stand-up routines to impressive acrobatics and aerial dance.
• “Masters of Illusion” (CW): Season 6 premiere. Cutting-edge illusionists, escape artists and performers display their skills.
• “NBA Final” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): Game 4: Toronto Raptors at Golden State Warriors

SATURDAY-
• “My Boyfriend’s Back: Wedding March 5” (HALLMARK):  A young, ambitious wedding planner partners with Olivia to plan the perfect wedding in order to launch her new company and draw the attention of a much-needed investor.

SUNDAY-
• “73rd Annual Tony Awards” (CBS): James Corden hosts the celebration of Broadway’s finest from Radio City Music Hall in New York City.
• “Celebrity Family Feud” (ABC): In the Season 5 premiere, Chrissy Teigen, John Legend and family play against Lisa Vanderpump and the cast of “Vanderpump Rules.”
• “Big Little Lies” (HBO): Season 2 premiere
• “Stanley Cup Final” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): Game 6: Boston Bruins at St. Louis Blues

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Rihanna — has been named the world’s richest female musician. Thanks to her Fenty Beauty brand, the R&B superstar, whose real name is Robyn Fenty, is the top musician in Forbes’s 2019 list of America’s Richest Self-Made Women, with a fortune totaling $600 million. That beats #2 musician Madonna ($570 million), #3 Celine Dion ($450 million) and #4 Beyoncé ($400 million).
• Miley Cyrus — has slammed trolls who accused her of bringing a recent groping on herself by dressing provocatively. She posted: “She can be wearing what she wants. She can be a virgin. She can be sleeping with 5 different people. She can be with her husband. She can be with her girlfriend. She can be naked. She CAN’T be grabbed without her consent.” She ended with a hashtag that’s a little too strong to mention here…
• Madonna – has lost a court battle to keep a collection of her belongings from heading to the auction block.  The treasure trove includes a pair of satin panties, a brush containing her hair and a breakup letter from former boyfriend, the late rapper Tupac Shakur, which has an estimated value of $400,000.
• The Who — have announced the launch of an exclusive pop-up shop and fan experience. Opening in London June 14-16, it will feature an exhibition of rare and archive memorabilia, an exclusive 7-inch version of ‘Pinball Wizard’, a new live album, and an exclusive ticket offer for their Wembley gig on July 6. Fans will also be able to take part in a ‘Pinball Wizard’ challenge on a full-size, retro ‘Tommy’ pinball machine.
• Mötley Crüe – former singer John Corabi says that he was “surprised” to be given a mention in the band’s biopic, “The Dirt”. He joined the Crüe in 1992 when Vince Neil left, and remained with the group until 1996.
• KISS – A massive new coffee table book documents the group’s over-the-top merchandising. “The Hottest Brand in the Land” promises “the complete and authorized story of the merchandising craze that swept America,” It features photos and information on KISS lunchboxes, clothing, comics, trashcans, belt buckles, tour books, mirrors and more. The book will ship in July or August, and can be pre-ordered in a $99 standard or $149 deluxe edition.
• Blake Shelton — Get ready for an epic Blake/Garth Brooks collaboration. ‘Dive Bar’ comes out on June 18. Brooks also has plans for a video, saying: “I don’t know when the last time we did a country music video was, but you don’t want to pass this opportunity up. It’s going to be fun.”
• Jessie James Decker – has been covering Lil Nas X’s ‘Old Town Road’ on stage recently, and has now released her own version of the song. She has also written a new verse, including the line: “You can call me Daisy Duke in my snakeskin boots/ Yeah, I’m just a little Georgia peach swinging in my blue jeans.”

TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
• “The Secret Life of Pets 2” (PG, Animation/Comedy):  Continuing the story of Max and his pet friends, and their secret lives after their owners leave them for work or school each day. (Patton Oswalt, Kevin Hart, Harrison Ford)
• “Dark Phoenix” (PG-13, Action/Adventure):  Jean Grey begins to develop incredible powers that corrupt and turn her into a Dark Phoenix. Now the X-Men will have to decide if the life of a team member is worth more than all the people living in the world. (James McAvoy, Michael Fassbender, Jennifer Lawrence)
• “Late Night” (R-Rated, Comedy/Drama):  A legendary late-night talk show host’s world is turned upside down when she hires her only female staff writer. Originally intended to smooth over diversity concerns, her decision has unexpectedly hilarious consequences as the two women are united by their love of a biting punchline. (Emma Thompson, Mindy Kaling, John Lithgow)
• “The Last Black Man in San Francisco” (R-Rated, Drama):  Jimmie dreams of reclaiming the Victorian home his grandfather built. Joined on his quest by his best friend, he searches for belonging in a rapidly changing city that seems to have left them behind. (Jimmie Fails, Jonathan Majors, Danny Glover)

UNPACKAGE DEAL:
A British supermarket is encouraging customers to “bring their own containers” in a trial aimed at reducing packaging by removing plastic from flowers and plants. The trial is taking place at the “Waitrose” store in Oxford where hundreds of products have been taken out of their packaging and approximately double the usual amount of fruit and vegetables are now package-free. Customers are able to “borrow a box” to take their produce home for a £5 deposit. Produce in Waitrose’s unpacked refill stations is up to 15% cheaper and consumers are being encouraged to use their own containers…apart from for beer and wine.
(Which is ironic, because most of us carry our portable beer container wherever we go!)
(It’s great that they offer a discount for unpackaged produce, but I’d actually PAY for someone to take that plastic off some things….have you ever tried to unwrap a cucumber?)
-BBC

NEWS OF THE WEIRD:
➢ A flirty traffic agent in Uruguay is under investigation after trying to impress an attractive female driver by issuing her a ticket for “excessive beauty on public roads”. The unnamed traffic agent allegedly stopped a female motorist and, impressed by her physical looks, proceeded to write her a ticket for “imprudence while driving (excessive beauty on public roads)”. To make his intentions obvious, the public servant also wrote “I love you” in the ‘observations’ section of the ticket. The story goes that he was just trying to be cute and never imagined that the stunt could land him in hot water, but after the ticket was posted on social media and quickly went viral, his superiors started an investigation.
(I suppose his plea of “Guilty…of love” isn’t going to help matters…)
-OddityCentral
➢ A Texas family says they were shocked to cut into a cake they bought from Walmart and discover it was fake. Nellie Flores said she and her sister, Marsy, ordered the cake for a graduation party, but employees told them later the order had been lost. A Walmart manager said that she could have one of the ready-made cakes on display. It wasn’t until they cut it that they learned it was just frosting-covered polystyrene. The family were given a $60 Walmart gift card and a voucher for a free cake as compensation.
(Do you think they ate the icing?)
-UPI

DID YOU KNOW?
To help your smartphone battery last longer, don’t use a phone cover. Research shows that gadget covers trap heat, which drains rechargeable batteries faster.
-Stylight

BS CHRONOMETER 06.07.19

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1940 [79] Tom Jones, Treforest, Wales, pop singer (‘It’s Not Unusual’, ‘What’s New Pussycat’, ‘Delilah’)

1952 [67] Liam Neeson, Ballymena, Northern Ireland, movie actor (“Taken” movies, “Schindler’s List”) COMING UP…”Men in Black: International”, 2019

1956 [63] LA (Antonio) Reid, Cincinnati OH, record executive-producer (Avril Lavigne, Justin Bieber, Kanye West, Pink, Rihanna, Usher, etc.)/TV personality (“The X Factor” 2011-13)

1967 [52] Dave Navarro, Santa Monica CA, rock guitarist (Jane’s Addiction-‘Been Caught Stealing’, Red Hot Chili Peppers –‘Aeroplane’)

1974 [45] Bear Grylls, Donaghadee, Northern Ireland, TV personality (“Running Wild with Bear Grylls”, “Man vs Wild”)

1978 [41] Bill Hader, Tulsa OK, movie actor (“Superbad”, “Trainwreck”)/comedian (“Saturday Night Live” 2005-13) COMING UP…”It Chapter Two”, 2019

1988 [31] Michael Cera, Brampton ON, movie actor (“Superbad”, “Juno”)/TV actor (“Arrested Development” 2003-06, 2013)

1990 [29] Iggy Azalea, Sydney, Australia, rapper (w/Ariana Grande-‘Problem’, f/Charli XCX- ‘Fancy’)

1991 [29] Fetty Wap (Willie Maxwell II), Paterson NJ, rapper (f/Remy Boyz-‘679′, ‘Trap Queen’)

SATURDAY- Jerry Stiller (“Seinfeld”) is 92; Nancy Sinatra (‘These Boots Are Made for Walkin’) is 79; Bonnie Tyler (‘Total Eclipse of the Heart’) is 68; Nick Rhodes (Duran Duran) is 57; Julianna Margulies (“The Good Wife”) is 53; Kanye West (‘FourFiveSeconds’) is 42

SUNDAY- Michael J. Fox (“Family Ties”) is 57; Johnny Depp (“Pirates Of the Caribbean”) is 55; Natalie Portman (“Black Swan”) is 37

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Chocolate Ice Cream Day”, celebrating one of the most popular flavors, but not THE most popular. That honor still goes to vanilla, favorite of 29%. Chocolate is runner-up at 9%.

• “VCR Day”, honoring the TV video recorder introduced on this day in 1975. Many homes still have one lurking in a closet. Many more still have VHS tapes … but nothing to play them on.

• “Daniel Boone Day”, On June 7, 1769, frontiersman Daniel Boone first saw the forests and valleys of present-day Kentucky. He is largely credited with exploration and settlement of that state. Contrary to the coonskin cap-wearing stereotype, Boone preferred a felt hat.

• “Donut Day”, always the first Friday in June, honors the Salvation Army ‘Lassies’ of WWI who served donuts to thousands-upon-thousands of soldiers. It’s now used as a fund-raiser for the Sally Ann’s needy causes.

SATURDAY-
• “Best Friend Day”, a day to salute our BFFs for being there … when nobody else is. (The only thing better than a best friend is a best friend with a pickup truck!)
• “Name Your Poison Day”, Let’s say you can have all you want of one bad-for-you thing for the rest of your life without any repercussions. Which would you pick? (Or, rather, which brand of bacon would you pick?)
• “Upsy Daisy Day”, encouraging us to face the day positively and to get up ‘gloriously, gratefully and gleefully’ each morning. (Another observance from the Society of the Hopelessly Optimistic.)
• “World Brain Tumor Day”, a day of awareness of the malady that’s killed off almost as many soap opera stars as heart attacks.
• “World Oceans Day”, a UN observance to honor our oceans, their marine life, and their sea-lanes that enable international trade.
• “Jelly Filled Donut Day”, a real challenge might be to see who can eat one without making a mess!

SUNDAY-
• “Donald Duck Day”, marking the cartoon character’s debut on this day 85 years ago (1934) as a bit player in the Walt Disney cartoon “The Little Wise Hen”.
• “Strawberry Rhubarb Pie Day”, honoring the popular pie that mixes the sweet and the tart. Rhubarb is a very old plant. Its earliest records date back to 2700 BC in China where it was cultivated for medicinal purposes.
• “Earl Day”, dedicated to those with a particular qualification and a genuine capacity for achievement. On National Earl Day we honor those legends named Earl.

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2014 [05] Comedian Tracy Morgan is hospitalized in critical condition after his limo bus is hit by a speeding semi; fellow comedian James McNair does not survive

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1993 [26] Prince celebrates his 35th birthday by changing his name to a circle with a curved line below as a protest over his recording contract (for several years he is announced on radio as the ‘artist formerly known as Prince’)

2002 [17] Virgin Records announces it’s dropping Victoria Beckham after her debut solo album, which cost over $5 million to make, sells only 50,000 copies (financially, she managed to survive…)

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1993 [26] The groundbreaking ceremony for the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame in Cleveland OH is attended by Billy Joel, Chuck Berry, and The Who’s Pete Townshend, among others

BULL’S BITS

BS WHACK FACTS:
✓ At any given time, there are 1,800 thunderstorms in progress over the earth’s atmosphere.
✓ Rain contains vitamin B12.
✓ The name for the shape of a Pringles chip is called a ‘hyperbolic paraboloid’.
✓ The first webcam was created in Cambridge to check the status of a coffee pot.
✓ It took the creator of the Rubik’s Cube, Erno Rubik, one month to solve the cube after he created it; the world record is 3.47 seconds.
✓ In England in the 1880s, “pants” was considered a dirty word.
-FactSlides

MORE BS QUESTIONS PLAGUING HUMANITY:
• If a husband speaks in the forest and there is no wife around to hear him, is he still wrong?
• If money doesn’t grow on trees then why do banks have branches?
• They say hard work never killed anybody but did you ever know anyone who rested to death?
• Why is it called ‘after dark’ when it’s really ‘after light’?
• How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
• If a pizza joint only sells slices, is there a guy in the back tossing triangles in the air?
• If there was a ‘Bi-Sexual Pride Parade’, would it go both ways?
• If you’re in hell with someone and you’re still mad at them, where do you tell them to go?
• How come you see an awful lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy?

BS PHONE STARTER:
What’s the best-ever road trip song? On our shortlist …
‘Shut Up & Drive’ … Rihanna
‘Start Me Up’ … Rolling Stones
‘Highway to Hell’ … AC/DC
‘Life in the Fast Lane’ … The Eagles
‘Red Dirt Road’ … Brooks & Dunn
‘Born to Be Wild’ … Steppenwolf
‘Get Outta My Dreams, Get Into My Car’ … Billy Ocean
‘Mud on the Tires’ … Brad Paisley
‘I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles)’ … The Proclaimers
‘Interstate Love Song’ … Stone Temple Pilots
‘Chasing Cars’ … Snow Patrol
‘Roadhouse Blues’ …The Doors

BS RANDOM JOKE:
The “killing them with kindness” thing is taking way longer than I expected.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question:  15% of hiring managers say a female employee or applicant who has THIS is likely a party animal. What is it?
Answer:  Smudged mascara

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Don’t tell people your dreams.  Show them.