June 19 2020

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Friday, June 19, 2020   Edition: #6723

Good Morning, Sheetheads!

★ The Ford Motor Company picked a notorious day to release the new 2021 “Bronco” — O.J. Simpson’s birthday. The car company has announced their new SUV will hit the market on July 9, which happens to be the Juice’s 73rd birthday! As you know, Simpson has been linked to the Bronco since 1994 when he was a passenger in one during a low-speed chase down L.A freeways, which was viewed by 95 million people on TV. According to a spokesperson for Ford, the timing of the Bronco’s release is “pure coincidence.”
★ Next month, the cast of “30 Rock” will officially reunite for a one-hour special, which will double as a network-wide promotion for NBC and NBCUniversal’s new schedule for the 2020-2021 TV season. The “one-time, commercial-free event” will see not just Fey and Baldwin in character again after seven years off the air, but stars Tracy Morgan, Jane Krakowski and Jack McBrayer too.
★ Chris D’Elia is being accused of sexually harassing multiple women, including some underage girls. The comedian, who appears on Netflix’s “You” and has a special for the streaming service, was accused on social media of sexually harassing multiple women. There are accusations he tried to meet up with some of them for sex or asked for nude photos, as well as other “grooming” claims. The accusations came about after a woman pointed out on Twitter “the literal irony” that Netflix cast D’Elia “as the pedophile” in Season 2 of You.
★ “The Bold and the Beautiful” has found a creative way to film intimate sex scenes in the social distancing era: Using blow-up dolls. Executive Producer Bradley Bell explained: “We have some life-like blow up dolls that have been sitting around here for the past 15 years, that we’ve used for various other stories — (like) when people were presumed dead.” He added that for intimate scenes that involve touching (and a live body that can move), they will use actors’ spouses, provided they test negative for COVID-19.


• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Kerry Washington (R)
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Regina King, Amber Ruffin (R)
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Mayor Muriel Bowser, Jenny & Chris Marr and their identical quadruplets
• “The Talk” (CBS): Jason Mraz
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Lonnie Chavis, Avril Lavigne
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Ellen reminisces about some of her most inspiring guests throughout the years
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): Kevin Costner, Nicole Byer
• “Juneteenth: A Celebration of Overcoming” (ABC): An observance of the holiday celebrating the end of slavery in America, and its meaning in the ongoing struggle for black equality in America.
• “Dino Hunters” (DISCOVERY): Series premiere. Dinosaur fossil season has begun, and Montana rancher Clayton Phipps finds what might be an extremely rare and valuable fossil on his property.

• “Love Under the Olive Tree” (HALLMARK): The prize of Sunset Valley’s annual olive oil contest is a land parcel. When a feisty woman and a competitive man face off, they never expect sparks to fly.
• “Ford v Ferrari” (HBO): Automotive designer Carroll Shelby and race car driver Ken Miles build a revolutionary vehicle for the Ford Motor Co. to compete against the race cars of Enzo Ferrari at the 24 Hours of Le Mans in France in 1966.

• “John Legend and Family: A Bigger Love Father’s Day” (ABC): A musical and humorous celebration of Father’s Day. Celebrity guests include Chrissy Teigen, Anthony Anderson, Ike Barinholtz, Common, Michael Ealy, Jim Gaffigan, Stevie Wonder and Roy Wood Jr.
• “United We Sing: A Grammy Tribute to the Unsung Heroes” (CBS): Harry Connick Jr. and his daughter Georgia take a road trip to thank and celebrate essential workers; music performances and celebrity appearances.
• “Tournament of Laughs” (TBS): Series premiere. The first round kicks off with Jeff Ross, Margaret Cho, and Gilbert Gottfried shooting for big laughs.

• Taylor Swift – has contributed a signed guitar to Annie Lennox’s “The Circle Music Auction” The Circle – which works to empower marginalized women and girls – is raising funds for their Covid-19 Emergency Appeal. Other items include an Alberta Ferreti silk dress worn by Lennox, an autographed outfit worn by Madison Beer, and contributions from Jessie J and Hozier.
• Beyoncé and Jay-Z — are being sued by Jamaican singer Dr. L’Antoinette Stines. She claims the superstar couple didn’t give her proper credit for her part in their song ‘Black Effect’.
• Gwen Stefani — is returning to “The Voice”. She’ll be back on the judging panel for season 19 in place of Nick Jonas, who is unable to return because of filming commitments. She last appeared as a full-time coach in season 17, and also served on the panel in seasons seven, nine and 12.
• The Rolling Stones — Mick Jagger and Keith Richards have finally stopped calling Ronnie Wood the ”new boy”. Wood says: “They’ve given that up now finally. There’s a new camaraderie now.” He joined the group in 1975.
• Black Sabbath – are selling a shirt bearing the “Black Lives Matter” slogan in the style of their “Master of Reality” album artwork. Profits from the $25 shirts will go to the “Black Lives Matter” cause.
• Jason Aldean – How will he spend Father’s Day? Relaxing, according to his wife Brittany. She told Us Weekly: “It’s my birthday right then, too. You know what, we’ll probably just sit at the new house and cookout together and have a drink.”
• Brett Young – The music video for his song ‘Lady’ features the onscreen debut of his 8-month-old daughter Presley. Among Young fans, it’s common knowledge that the song was written about Presley, who is his first child.

One of the most frequently used dating tactics is “playing hard to get,” or purposely acting cold and even mean toward the person we’re interested in. But, does it work? A new study from the University of Rochester concludes that yes, playing hard to get does in fact increaseone’s desirability to a potential mate. Harry Reis, a professor of psychology at Rochester, concluded that “Playing hard to get makes it seem as if you are more in demand—we call that having higher mate value.” But he cautions that going overboard while playing hard to get can backfire by making you seem unapproachable, disinterested or arrogant.
(So…play SORTA hard to get?)
(Note from experience: Playing hard to get doesn’t work if no one wants what you got!)

➢ Two escaped inmates of an Italian prison left behind a letter explaining their reason and promising to be back soon. On June 2nd, Davad Zukanovic and Lil Ahmetovic, two cousins serving time at Rome’s Rebibbia prison, cut through the bars on their prison cell window, rappelled into the courtyard on a water hose and climbed over the barbed-wire reinforced outer walls. But what really made their escape stand out was the note they left in their cell, explaining that they had a family problem to take care of and promising to be back in 15 days. The note said they needed to “protect their children from a nasty business they had got themselves into,” and added that they were the only ones able to do this, since both their wives are also behind bars. (…who are apparently unaware that dads should be allowed to take it easy on Father’s Day…)
➢ An Austrian man has been fined about $763 (500 euros) for breaking wind loudly, and intentionally, in front of a police officer. It took the Vienna police a while to get to the (ahem) bottom of the situation, which occurred on June 5.  According to officials, the man stood up from a park bench, looked at police nearby and “let go a massive intestinal wind apparently with full intent.” They ultimately decided to fine the man for offending public decency, and tweeted that “of course no one is reported for accidentally letting one go.” (He’s been charged with possession of a silent, but deadly weapon.)
-OddityCentral, Global


✓ Keep things cool in the day:  You’ll stay cooler at night if you keep it as cool as possible during the day. During morning and evening, open windows to let air flow through. In afternoon, (or before you leave for work), close the windows and pull down the blinds to keep the cool air in and the hot sun out. (I’m guessing this is an “I don’t have A/C” scenario…)
✓ Make a ‘Swamp Cooler’:  Spray a sheet with cold water and hang it in front of an open window. Pick a window that has a breeze coming in.
✓ Create another:  Put a bowl of ice in front of a fan. (During a heat wave, I’m betting that my ice cubes will already have been spoken for!)
✓ Cool you instead of your home:  If you can’t cool your home down, cool your body down with a cold shower right before bed. It can lower your body temperature enough for you to fall asleep comfortably.
✓ Go all Willie Nelson:  If all else fails, wet a bandana in cold water, wring it out, fold it into a rectangle, and drape it over your neck. Having something cool that close to your major blood vessels will help cool your whole body. (And your spouse will be SO impressed when you come to bed wearing a bandana. Just a bandana…)
✓ The big fan:  If you have a ceiling fan, make sure you’ve switched it to its “summer” setting. In summer, they should move counter-clockwise.
✓ Hydrate:  Drink a glass of cool, refreshing water—even though you may have to get up in the middle of the night to ‘unhydrate’, it’s way better than waking up all warm, headachy and dehydrated.
(Also, ditch the flannel Pjs for a while!)

Canada Post has been the most-trusted brand in Canada during the pandemic, according to a survey conducted by the University of Victoria. Canada’s national mail service was followed, in order, by Shoppers Drug Mart and CTV News, with Costco and The Weather Network tied for fourth place. At the other end of the spectrum, Facebook, Craigslist and Snapchat were found to be the least-trusted brands in the country during the pandemic.



1948 [72] Phylicia Rashad, Houston TX, TV actress (‘Claire Huxtable’ on “The Cosby Show” 1984-92)

1950 [70] Ann Wilson, San Diego CA, rock-pop singer (Heart-‘Barracuda, ‘All I Wanna do is Make Love to You’)

1954 [66] Kathleen Turner, Springfield MO, movie actress (“Romancing the Stone”, voice of ‘Jessica Rabbit’ in “Who Framed Roger Rabbit?”)

1962 [58] Paula Abdul, Van Nuys CA, TV personality (“So You Think You Can Dance?” 2015, “The X Factor” 2011, “American Idol” 2002-10)/pop singer (1988 Grammy – ‘Opposites Attract’)

1964 [56] Boris Johnson, New York NY, politician (UK Prime Minister since 2019, Mayor of London, 2008-2016)

1969 [51] Lara Spencer (Von Seelen), Garden City NY, TV personality (“Good Morning America” since 2002, “The Insider” 2004-11)

1975 [45] Hugh Dancy, Stoke-on-Trent UK, TV actor (‘Will Graham’ on “Hannibal” 2013-15)/wed to actress Claire Danes since 2009

1978 [42] Zoe Saldana, Passaic NJ, movie actress (“Guardians Of the Galaxy”, “Avatar”)

1983 [37] Macklemore (Ben Haggerty), Seattle WA, rapper (Macklemore & Ryan Lewis-‘Thrift Shop’)

1984 [36] Paul Dano, New York City NY, movie actor (“There Will Be Blood”, Little Miss Sunshine”)

SATURDAY- Brian Wilson (The Beach Boys) is 78; Anne Murray (‘Snowbird’) is 75; Lionel Richie (‘All Night Long’) is 70; John Goodman (“Roseanne”) is 68; Michael Anthony (Van Halen) is 66;  John Taylor (Duran Duran) is 60; Nicole Kidman (“Moulin Rouge!”) is 53

SUNDAY- Joey Kramer (Aerosmith) is 70; Juliette Lewis (“Natural Born Killers”) is 47; Chris Pratt (“Guardians Of the Galaxy”) is 41; Brandon Flowers (The Killers) is 39; Prince William is 38; Jussie Smollett (“Empire”) is 37;  Lana Del Rey (‘Summertime Sadness’) is 35

• “Work@Home Father’s Day”, held the Friday before “Father’s Day” to honor fathers who work from home as a means of providing balance between work and family interaction.

• “Flip Flop Day”, people have been wearing flip-flops for thousands of years, with the earliest wearers being the Ancient Egyptians in 4000BC. Flip-flops got their name because of the slapping sound they make when you walk in them.

• “World Sauntering Day”, a day to ‘revive the art of Victorian sauntering, and discourage jogging, lollygagging, sashaying, fast walking, and trotting’. It’s also “Martini Day”, can we stumble?

• “Martini Day”. Recipe for a very dry martini: Take 1 bottle of gin …

• “Eat an Oreo Day”, Oreo has been the best-selling cookie in the United States since its introduction in 1912. The perfection of an Oreo cookie is down to an exact science. The cookie-to-crème ratio of an original Oreo cookie is always, without fail, 71 percent to 29 percent.

• “First Day of Summer”, in the Northern Hemisphere. Also known as Summer Solstice. It is observed when the Sun reaches its northernmost point in the sky — this year on the 20th at 5:43 pm EDT.
• “World Productivity Day” … better today than on a Monday! Start looking at your processes and seeing where waste can be cut out, set yourself a list of things to accomplish and where you think productivity is lacking, identify problem areas and start an action plan to solve it. (Then when you see all the time you’ve wasted, get back to work and do things the way you always do, only faster!)
• “World Refugee Day”, first declared by the UN in 2001 as an expression of solidarity with Africa, which hosts the most refugees.
• “Ice Cream Soda Day”, you should invest some time in slurping this frothy wonderment up a stripy straw. The drink is comprised of only a couple of scoops of ice-cream in any carbonated beverage.
• And for those who don’t like to rock the boat, today is also “Plain Yogurt Day” and “Vanilla Milkshake Day”.

• “Father’s Day”, celebrated on the 3rd Sunday in June in about 90 countries as a day to honor Dad and appreciate all he does. Many (most?) other countries celebrate a day for dad at other times in the year. The first observance of a “Father’s Day” was on July 5, 1908, in a church in Fairmont, West Virginia.
• “Go Skateboarding Day”, an unofficial annual holiday conceived by the International Association of Skateboard Companies to promote boarding. (BYOBandaids)
• “International Day of Yoga”, first declared by the UN in 2015 to recognize the importance of yoga as a physical, mental, and/or spiritual practice. (And to some, a great spectator sport!)
• “Selfie Day”, encouraging the world to take selfies and post them online. (Is it Kim Kardashian’s birthday or something?)


2013 [07] Former “Sopranos” star James Gandolfini dies of a heart attack at age 51 in Rome, Italy (It was finally confirmed this week that his character ‘Tony Soprano’ also died in the show’s finale…)

1965 [55] ‘Yesterday’ is recorded and mastered during this week 55 years ago, the first Beatles song recorded solo (by Paul McCartney) Temporarily titled ‘Scrambled Eggs’, it is often called the “most covered” song of all time

2010 [10] Katy Perry’s ‘California Gurls’ hits #1, the first of five Hot 100 chart-toppers from her “Teenage Dream” album – a feat only equaled by Michael Jackson’s “Bad”

1846 [174] The first officially recognized baseball game is played. The NY Nines defeat the Knickerbockers 23-1 at Hoboken, New Jersey

1978 [42] “Garfield” comic strip first appears, a creation of Jim Davis (Big, fat, hairy deal…)

2018 [02] Canada’s Senate votes to legalize recreational marijuana use, the first major economy to do so


✓ The average disposable diaper can hold up to 7 pounds (3.2kg) of liquid.
✓ Earth’s gravity makes it impossible for mountains to be higher than 49,213 feet (15km).
✓ The word ‘bi-weekly’ has two meanings. Twice a week and once every two weeks.
✓ On at least two occasions, it has snowed in the Sahara Desert.
✓ Kraft produces enough Cool Whip each year to fill the Grand Canyon.
✓ There are over 100 billion known galaxies. How many unknown galaxies there are is not known. (Makes sense)
– -TotallyAwesomeUselessInformation, BathroomReadersInstitute

Best of BS . . .
• “Turn off those lights. Do you think I’m made of money?”
• “You call that a haircut?”
•  “Wipe that smile off your face.”
• “This will hurt me a lot more than it hurts you.”
• “Now you listen to ME, Buster!”
• “If your friend jumped off a bridge would you do it too?”
• “You’re gonna like it, whether you like it or not!”
• “Don’t look at me in that tone of voice!”
• “Were you born in a barn?”
• “Get your elbows off the table!”
• “When I was your age, I treated MY father with respect.”
• “I walked six miles to school every day in the freezing cold, uphill BOTH WAYS!!”
-First published in BS in 2012

➠ The Aunt Jemima brand of syrup and other breakfast foods will get a new name and image in a move “toward progress on racial equality.” (Breakfast has gone from batter to worse…)
➠ Top executives at Chuck E. Cheese are hinting that the company is on the brink of bankruptcy. (My greatest accomplishment as a parent has been convincing my kids that Chuck E. Cheese is only open once a year…)
➠ A study found that hipsters are driving up the cost of things. (Cheap beer for one. Affordable, sustainable, locally sourced Fannypacks, for another…)
➠ More and more teens say they’re frustrated with the number of adults on Facebook. (I hear ya broseph! There’s nutt’n LAMER than a bunch o’ clueless geezers trying to harsh our buzz while we chillax wit our homiez on the old F-book, yo! Flip me your crispy handle via DM and let’s Bust-it to Insta!)
➠ (***Caution***) Researchers say you can calm your emotions by making a fist with your right hand.  (However, anyone who’s ever dated Chris Brown disagrees.)

Dad jokes:  https://tinyurl.com/y8c96opc

What’s the best piece of advice you ever received from your dad?

I gave my father $100 for Father’s Day and told him to buy something that would make his life easier. So he went out and bought a present for my mother.

Question:  37% of people say THIS is the biggest fashion faux paus a guy can make during the Summer. What is it?
Answer:  Wearing a Hawaiian shirt

It is admirable for a man to take his son fishing, but there is a special place in heaven for the father who takes his daughter shopping.


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