WEEKEND TABLOID & BLOG BS:
• Famous felon Lindsay Lohan has been treated in hospital for minor injuries after her rented Porsche collided with a truck on the Pacific Coast Highway near Los Angeles on Friday. The driver of the 18-wheeler says Lohan swerved into the lane he was occupying and smashed into his vehicle from behind. Lohan, who totaled the Porsche in the collision, is said to be co-operating with police. A pal of Lohan’s blames the crash on ‘brake failure’. (As in failure to apply them.)
– TMZ.com
• Movie actor Matthew McConaughey (42) has married his Brazilian model-fiancée Camila Alves (30). The couple, who’ve been together 6 years, exchanged vows Saturday night in an intimate, private ceremony at their Austin, Texas home. The wedding was attended by a handful of close friends and family, including their children, 3-year-old Levi and 2-year-old Vida. The reception was held in marquees erected on the grounds. (Not a trace of any of the “Ghosts of Girlfriends Past”.)
– People.com
• Justin Bieber had a hair-raising experience at a concert in London on Saturday. The backstage elevator he was traveling in at Capital FM’s “Summertime Ball” became jammed, trapping him with several fans for 20 minutes. The girls were reportedly ‘sweating and close to fainting’ before they got out. Bieber eventually took the stage at Wembley Stadium in a performance highlighted by a duet with fellow Canadian singer Carly Rae Jepsen on her hit “Call Me Maybe”. (Sounds like another publicity stunt.)
– TheSun.co.uk
• Jennifer Aniston & actor-boyfriend Justin Theroux have frequently found themselves the center of tabloid speculation about their relationship. Now they’re set to poke fun at the rampant rumors in a short film for beverage company Smartwater, for which she’s the spokesmodel. Aniston and Theroux will write, direct, and star in the paparazzi parody, which the brand hopes will become a viral ad for their product. (Attempting to create ‘viral’ rarely works.)
– NYPost.com
• A planned remake of 1987 movie “Dirty Dancing” has reportedly been delayed due to casting issues. The film, which starred Jennifer Grey & Patrick Swayze, is scheduled for a reboot with Kenny Ortega directing and “Glee” co-creator Brad Falchuk writing the screenplay. It was due for a July 2013 release, but new reports say the date has been pushed back to allow more time for casting. (BS translation: They can’t find funding for this ill-advised idea.)
– WENN.com
• Pregnant “Jersey Shore” star Nicole Polizzi has become the latest celeb victim of a naked photo scandal. Her publicist has confirmed the candid photos leaked online, which feature the reality star in an untied robe, are indeed her client. Quote: “Clearly these are old and personal photos that were not meant for the public. It’s a shame someone decided to leak them for obvious personal gain.” (Likely someone who’s name starts with ‘S’ and ends with ‘nooki’.)
– E! News

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “A Death In the Family: The Show Must Go On” –  Tonight the world premiere of this 26-minute documentary screens at the Academy of Television Arts & Sciences in Hollywood. It offers a behind-the-scenes look at this year’s 54th annual Grammy Awards and how the death of Whitney Houston the day before affected the show’s content. The film will later be posted at Grammy.com and become a regular exhibit at the Grammy Museum.
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Grace Potter & The Nocturnals (“The Lion The Beast The Beat”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CHCH) – Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros (“Here”). Rerun.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Thee Oh Sees (“Carrion Crawler/The Dream”). Rerun.
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Glen Hansard (“Rhythm & Repose”).
• “Stanley Cup Final” (CBC/NBC) – Game 6 from Staples Center in Los Angeles.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – Brandi Carlile (“Bear Creek”).
• “The View” (ABC/CTV) – R&B veteran Gladys Knight (“Before Me”).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band – They played the 2nd-longest concert of their career last Thursday in Milan, Italy. The show ran 3 hours, 40 minutes and included 33 songs. Their longest concert ever was New Year’s Eve 1980 in Uniondale NY.
• CMA Festival – For the 3rd consecutive year, the 4-day country music fan fest sold out the ‘Nightly Concerts’ at Nashville’s LP Field. Final attendance numbers will be released today. An ABC-TV special compiling the 4 nights’ performances airs September 17th.
• Flaming Lips – They’ll attempt to break the Guinness World Record for ‘Most Live Concerts In 24 Hours in Multiple Cities’ beginning June 27th aboard a vintage bus zig-zagging through the Mississippi Delta. The goal is to play 8 concerts, each in a different city.
• Fleetwood Mac – Bob Welch, an early member who went on to a successful solo career, has died of an apparent self-inflicted gunshot wound at age 66. Former bandmate Mick Fleetwood tells Reuters that the suicide was ‘incredibly out of character’.
• Lady Gaga – She’s currently recording a new album while on the road touring. She’s tweeted that she’s already played it for her label and will be announcing the title in September. As usual, it seems she’ll shamelessly promote the release for months before it becomes available.
• Lauryn Hill – After being charged with failing to file income tax for 3 years despite an income over $1.8 million, she’s issued a statement saying she only stopped paying taxes when it was ‘necessary to withdraw from society in order to guarantee the safety and well-being of myself and my family’.
• Miley Cyrus – Before she weds actor-fiancé Liam Hemsworth, she’s reportedly releasing a new album. A source tells E! News that she’s been quietly working on her next studio effort, which is going to be ‘very adult and sexy and believable’ (?!?!?).

GARBAGE IS BIG BIZ:
According to the World Bank, the world spends over $200 billion to handle about 1.3 billion tons of trash each year. That’s about 2.6 lbs (1.2 kg) per person per day. Solid waste management is almost always the responsibility of local governments and is often their single largest budget item, particular in developing countries. Trash collection and street sweeping is also often a city’s single largest source of employment. It’s estimated that 1-to-5% of the world’s urban population is employed in solid-waste management. (And that’s not counting Hollywood producers.)
– “Washington Post”

REASONS TO DRINK TAP WATER:
Before you buy bottled water again, consider …
✓ 36 oz of water is used to produce one 12-oz plastic water bottle.
✓ 17 million barrels of oil are consumed in yearly production of water bottles.
✓ Bottling water produces 2.5 million tons of carbon dioxide annually.
✓ 50% of bottled water is just repackaged tap water.
✓ Tap water is cheap, safe, and eco-friendly.
– Twitpic.com

NOISE & RECOVERY:
For recovering patients, doctors first and foremost prescribe rest. But in many hospitals, noise from equipment and conversations is so loud that patients can’t sleep and end up going home exhausted. It’s long been known that hospitals can be loud at night, but evidence is growing that noise now routinely exceeds the World Health Organization’s recommended maximum of 40 decibels for hospital rooms. A leading acoustician has found that today’s hospitals are about 3 times louder at night than they were when measurements were first taken back in 1960. (The worst part is all the wailing.)
– “Boston Globe”

HOW TO QUIT YOUR JOB & BE MORE SUCCESSFUL:
Experts offer tips on how to become an entrepreneur …
✓ Keep your idea simple. Create a simplified product or service that sells X product to Y customer for Z profit.
✓ Always be prepared for the worst. Come up with 3 alternatives for every decision you make so that you’ve taken all outcomes into consideration.
✓ Be unoriginal. Instead of trying to reinvent the wheel, focus on bettering an idea that already exists. Use creativity to market an unoriginal idea.
✓ Make sure your business isn’t a bottomless pit. Look for a business idea that can turn a profit quickly and doesn’t involve a lot of startup costs.
✓ Be frugal. Know the difference between a frivolous expense and a necessity that can be bartered, bargained for, or partnered on.
✓ Toss the ‘business plan’. Anything longer than a 1-paragraph startup plan is not necessary. You don’t need a detailed traditional business plan to become a small business owner.
– BusinessInsider.com

DIALING IT IN:
The prevalence of smartphones like iPhone and Android is now allowing people to receive counseling in whatever setting they choose. A new Northwestern Medicine research study has discovered that patients who have therapy sessions provided over the phone are more likely to complete 18 weeks of treatment than those who have face-to-face sessions. Phone therapy is a rapidly growing trend among therapists. About 85% of psychologists now deliver at least some of their services by phone. (It’s the only way you’ll get them to make a house call.)
– PsychCentral.com

DID YOU KNOW?
• Simon Cowell’s net worth is now estimated to be over $300 million.
– PopBitch.com
• Rihanna has now sold more singles in the UK than the Rolling Stones.
– “Times of London”

BS CHRONOMETER 06.11.12

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1949 [63] Frank Beard, Frankston TX, classic rock drummer (ZZ Top-“Concrete & Steel”, “Sharp Dressed Man”)/ironically the only member of the band without a beard

1952 [60] Donnie Van Zant, Jacksonville FL, country/rock singer (w/Hank Williams Jr-“That’s How They Do It in Dixie”, Van Zant-“Help Somebody”)

1959 [53] Hugh Laurie, Oxford UK, TV actor (‘Dr Gregory House’ on “House MD” 2004-12)  BS FACTOID: He’s an accomplished pianist, currently touring the world with his blues/jazz combo.

1960 [52] Mehmet Oz, Cleveland OH, physician-surgeon/TV personality (“The Dr Oz Show” since 2009)/syndicated newspaper columnist (“The You Docs”)/Oprah Winfrey protégé

1978 [34] Joshua Jackson, Vancouver BC, TV actor (‘Peter Bishop’ on “Fringe” since 2008, “Dawson’s Creek” 1998-2003)/movie actor (“Cruel Intentions”)

1986 [26] Shia LaBeouf, Los Angeles CA, movie actor (“Transformers” films, “Indiana Jones & The Kingdom Of the Crystal Skull”)  QUOTE: “The first meeting I had with Oliver Stone he looked me in the eye and said, ‘Don’t worry. Tom Cruise wasn’t an actor before he met me either.’”

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Corn On the Cob Day”, celebrating the only ears most of us will ever eat.

• “Feed the Ducks Day”, just not beside the marina, OK? Crappy idea.

• “Hug Holiday”, an annual observance begun by some eternal optimist somewhere who thinks most of the world’s troubles can be solved with a tight clinch. C’mon now, don’t be shy … group hug everybody!

• “King Kamehameha Day”, honoring Hawaii’s first king, who unified the Hawaiian Islands in 1810. Not very significant to the rest of us … but it sure is fun saying ‘Kah-MAY-uh-MAY-uh’!

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1982 [30] Then 34-year-old movie director Steven Spielberg releases his sci-fi classic “ET: The Extra-Terrestrial”  BS FACTOID: The voice of ‘ET’ was provided by actress Debra Winger.

2002 [10] “American Idol: The Search For a Superstar” debuts (FOX) as a Summer replacement series, but quickly becomes the #1 show on US television (How many true ‘Superstars’ has it produced? 2 out of 11: Kelly Clarkson and Carrie Underwood.)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
2002 [10] 59-year-old Paul McCartney weds 34-year-old Heather Mills at Castle Leslie in Ireland (what an expensive idea this turns out to be!)

TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
1994 [18] World’s ‘Largest Popcorn Container’ is unveiled in Jacksonville FL which, at 8-feet-tall, holds 6,620 cubic feet of popcorn

1996 [16] Singer Garth Brooks sets a country music “Fan Fair” record by signing autographs in Nashville for 23 hours straight

COMING UP . . .
[Tues] Crowded Nest Awareness Day
[Tues] Peanut Butter Cookie Day
[Tues] Red Rose Day
[Wed] Sewing Machine Day
[Wed] Weed Your Garden Day
[Thurs] Career Nurse Assistants Day
[Thurs] World Blood Donor Day

THIS WEEK IS . . .
Automotive Service Professionals Week / Men’s Health Week / Nursing Assistants Week

BULL’S BITS

BEST OF BS:
A highlight bit culled from 19 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
BS THINGS YOU DON’T WANT TO HEAR IN A TATTOO PARLOR:
• “There ARE two O’s in ‘Bob’, right?”
• “We’re all out of red, so I used pink.”
• “Geez, I hate it when I get the hiccups.”
• “Anything else you want to say? You’ve got plenty of room back here.”
• “I’ll bet you can’t tell I’ve never done this before.”
• “The flag’s all done and, you know, the folds of fat make a nice waving effect.”
• “Ooooooops!”
– First published in “BS” 1999.
NET: http://www.FreeRadioPrep.com

BS PHONE STARTER:
☎ Which is the absolute worst household chore, the one you keep putting off as long as possible?

BS RANDOM JOKE:
The past, present, and future walk into a bar. It was tense.

BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
• Who donates more money to charity?
a. Corporations.
b. Foundations.
c. Individuals. [CORRECT. According to American Association of Fund-Raising Counsel Trust for Philanthropy, individuals donate 6 times more than corporations and foundations combined.)

• Which is the most popular pizza topping?
a. Anchovies.
b. Mushrooms.
c. Pepperoni. [CORRECT. Anchovies rank near the bottom.]
– HaLife.com

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: A “Reader’s Digest” poll shows that 6-out-of-10 men believe having THIS makes them more attractive.
Answer: Love handles.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her friends.

LOOK WHO’S BS-ING NOW!
Jason Gunn @ Classic Hits 97.7 Christchurch NZ; Andy Cohen @ 107-5 Bolt FM Humboldt SK; Mike Surette @ AVR [CKEN] Kentville NS; Jeff Murray @ EZ Rock [CKCR] Revelstoke BC; Nick Montague @ Eagle Country [CKCI] Sarnia ON; Matt Clifford @ 94X [CIRX] Prince George BC; Aaron Mahon @ More FM Auckland NZ; and Mark Roberts @ 590 CJCW Sussex NB.