BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
They were rumored to be dating back in 2011 after playing love interests in “He’s Just Not that Into You”, and RadarOnline says from the look of things, actors Scarlett Johansson (27) & Bradley Cooper (37) may be giving it another go (BS translation: They had dinner) . . . 46-year-old Charlie Sheen tells “NY Times” he’s planning to retire from Hollywood after his upcoming TV sitcom “Anger Management” finishes its run (it premieres June 28th) . . . “National Enquirer” reports the 21-year marriage of Kardashian clan mom-ager Kris and Bruce Jenner is imploding over money, and insiders fear the feuding couple may split (alas, be still our collective heart!) . . . Initial reports suggested director Michael Bay’s “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles” movie had been shelved indefinitely, but now it seems it’s just been pushed back to 2014 (someone finally noticed his uber-high-priced films uber-suck?) . . . Since winning the latest season of “American Idol”, Phillip Phillips has had surgery for kidney troubles and his family business was burglarized, but now he’s said to be ready to make a comeback, performing at the annual July 4th celebrations in Washington DC (how can you make a comeback when you haven’t been anywhere?) . . . And a new survey on most recognizable faces finds that Simon Cowell has the most memorable mug in showbiz, but he only ranks 2nd overall behind … Adolf Hitler.

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Shinedown (“Amaryllis”).
• “Duets” (ABC/Global) – The stars & their partners perform songs from their favorite movie soundtracks.
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Bobby Brown (“Masterpiece”). Rerun.
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Robert Glasper (“Black Radio”).
• “Live With Kelly” (syndicated/CTV) – Ronnie Wood (Rolling Stones).
• “The NHL Awards” (CBC/NBCSN) – The annual celebration of the best players and moments of the season in Las Vegas features a performance by Nickelback (“Here & Now”).
• “So You Think You Can Dance” (FOX/CTV) – Dancers head to Las Vegas for the callback round.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – Joe Henry f/Lisa Hannigan (“Reverie”).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Foster the People – Frontman Mark Foster is writing for their next album while still touring in support of their debut, “Torches”. He says he’s drawing on The Clash and The Kinks as influences. Quote: “I think there’s going to be more grit, and I think it’s gonna be extremely percussive.”
• Nas – Alongside TV personality Nick Cannon and NBA stars Blake Griffin & Kevin Love, he’s launched a new lifestyle website where subscribers pay $39-a-month to receive a shipment of handpicked items that ‘the stars’ use. Nas tells MTV News membership gives subscribers insight into the celebrity lifestyle and ‘makes them part of it’.
NET: http://www.12society.com
• Norah Jones – Tonight her 2012 tour in support of her latest album “Little Broken Hearts” kicks off its 1st leg in Indianapolis, Indiana, running up to July 7 in Montréal, Québec. She’ll then head overseas for a series of European dates, before returning to North America with a 2nd leg of touring.
• The Rolling Stones – Today they’re celebrating their 50th anniversary as a band. There’s still no official word about a celebratory tour or the possibility of new material being recorded. In June 1962 the line-up was: Mick Jagger, Keith Richards, guitarist Brian Jones, keyboardist Ian Stewart, bassist Dick Taylor, and drummer Tony Chapman. According to Richards, Jones christened the band during a phone call to “Jazz News”. When asked for a band name Jones saw a Muddy Waters LP lying on the floor of which one of the tracks was “Rollin’ Stone”.
• The Strokes – They’ve recently logged time at NYC’s Electric Lady Studios recording the follow-up to 2011’s “Angles”, according to Billboard.com. The as-yet-untitled album will be their 5th studio release, although no other details are yet available.

SWAP RESPONSIBILITY, SWAP MORALITY:
According to a new study, a person’s sense of right or wrong may change depending on what role they’re playing. Oregon State University researchers focused on people who have more than one role, such as an engineer who is also a manager, or an army medic who is also a soldier. While we may like to think we are inherently moral creatures, we either have character or we don’t. But the research also suggests that the same person may make a completely different decision based on what they think is expected of them at any given time. (“I was selling insurance … it was expected I rip you off.”)
– PsychCentral.com

TOP 5 MOVIE-RELATED VIDEOGAMES OF 2012:
Each of the upcoming games on this list has the potential to be an exception to the ‘any game based on a movie sucks’ rule …
5. “Lego Batman 2: DC Super Heroes”
4. “Star Trek”
3. “Injustice: Gods Among Us”
2. “Lego Lord Of the Rings”
1. “Star Wars 1313″
– Film.com

AMBULANCES THAT ROCK:
In response to the problem of motorists being unaware of emergency vehicles and therefore refusing to yield right of way, ambulances operated by Denver Health EMS in Colorado have now been equipped with subwoofers that shake the ground as their sirens blare. The 200-watt siren amplifiers point at the ground, generating a frequency low enough to vibrate everything outside the ambulance, an experience akin to pulling up next to a club-kid blasting hip-hop from a trunk filled with speakers. The chief paramedic for Denver Health says the amps vibrate the entire ground, so people seem to be more aware now. (Note to self: Never buy real estate anywhere near a Denver hospital zone.)
– “Denver Post”

BS BUZZWORDS:
New terms leaking into our lingo …
✓ ‘Punkerschnapps – German slang term for an alcoholic beverage that is so strong or so bad-tasting that only punks will drink it.
✓ ‘TAY’ – Acronym for ‘talk amongst yourselves’.
✓ ‘Unsourcing’ – When companies set up online communities to enable peer-to-peer support among users. Instead of speaking with a faceless person thousands of miles away, customer support is provided by individuals who have bought and used the same products.

THAT POST-VACATION GLOW:
If you just arrived home from a fabulous vacation, you might be enjoying yet another souvenir from your travels … a ‘happiness hangover’. A post-vacation afterglow – that heady, blissed-out, feel-good euphoria you get upon returning from your time away – helps ease re-entry into the daily grind. But how long will your holiday high last? Your trip’s psychological payoffs wear off within 2 weeks, either directly or gradually, say researchers at Breda University of Applied Sciences in the Netherlands. (The solution: 2 weeks on, 2 weeks off.)
– MSNBC.com

CHANGING HATS:
Tom Cruise is getting favorable reviews for his ability to belt out ‘80s power ballads as aging rocker ‘Stacee Jaxx’ in “Rock of Ages”. A few actors-turned-singers who didn’t fare as well …
✗ Bruce Willis – The action icon cashed in on his late-‘80s star power by releasing a 1987 album called “The Return of Bruno”, with a single release ironically titled “Respect Yourself”.
✗ Eddie Murphy – After a string of hit movies, he released the tortuous single “Party All the Time” in 1985.
✗ Alyson Hannigan – The “How I Met Your Mother” star tested out her singing chops in an ill-advised 2001 musical episode of “Buffy the Vampire Slayer”. She fell (and sounded) flat.
✗ Lindsay Lohan – The title of her 2004 album “Speak” might have been a giveaway. She’s a better talker (and train wreck) than a singer, even though it’s disguised by heavy production.
✗ Pierce Brosnan – Why he was cast in “Mamma Mia!” is anybody’s guess, but we’d like to find the person responsible and subject him or her to an unending loop of his horrific singing.
– Adapted from QMI Agency

PARENT-CONTROLLED PHONES:
A British mobile phone service is offering parents the ability to read their children’s text messages, control who they add as contacts, and remotely switch their phones off. The safety system gives adults total control over a mobile phone via computer, and is intended to protect children aged 8-to-16. The system, developed by Bemilo, is aimed at worried parents, who fear their kids might access unsuitable material. Until now, parents had to rely on safety settings on the phones themselves, which critics claim are confusing and not easily accessible. (At what point does ‘parenting’ cross the line and become ‘spying’?)
– Telegraph.co.uk

FROM THE BS POLL VAULT:
A BS breakdown of who we are and what we do …
✓ 80% of women say that simply putting on lipstick will put them in a better mood.
✓ 59% of single women say they will not go on a 2nd date with a guy if he has a dirty car.
✓ 38% of us take a Tylenol or Aspirin at least once every day.
✓ 31% of employees say they would take a pay cut if they could bring their pet to work.
✓ 12% of homeowners have NEVER gone into their attic.
✓ 9% of us have a phobic fear of balloons.

DID YOU KNOW?
• According to a new Pew report,1-in-5 US adults still does not use the Internet at all. Why? Mostly, they’re just not interested.
– CNN.com
• The Milky Way and Andromeda galaxies will crash into each other in 4 billion years.
– BBC News
• 1-in-3 South Koreans follows UK soccer club Manchester United.
– “Times of London”

BS CHRONOMETER 06.20.12

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1942 [70] Brian Wilson, Inglewood CA, oldies singer/songwriter (Beach Boys-“Good Vibrations”, “I Get Around”)/Songwriter’s Hall Of Fame (2000)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (1988)

1945 [67] Anne Murray, Springhill NS, oldies singer (“Snowbird”, “You Needed Me”)/Canada’s Walk of Fame (1998)/Canadian Music Hall of Fame (1993)/Order of Canada (1984)/Hollywood Walk of Fame (1980)

1949 [63] Lionel Richie, Tuskegee AL, oldies singer (“Tuskegee”, Commodores-“Easy”)/father of Nicole Richie (“The Simple Life”)

1952 [60] John Goodman, Afton MO, movie actor (“You Don’t Know Jack”, “Cars”)/TV actor (“Roseanne” 1988-97)

1960 [52] John Taylor, Birmingham UK, pop/rock bassist (Duran Duran-“The Reflex”, Power Station-“Some Like It Hot”)

1967 [45] Nicole Kidman, Honolulu HI, movie actress (“Hemingway & Gellhorn”, 2003 Oscar-“The Hours”)/Mrs Keith Urban since 2006/Mrs Tom Cruise 1990-2001

1967 [45] Dan Tyminski, Rutland VT, bluegrass singer/songwriter/instrumentalist (Alison Krauss & Union Station-“Paper Airplane”, “Lonely Runs Both Ways”/10 Grammy Awards

1968 [44] Robert Rodriguez, San Antonio TX, movie director/producer/screenwriter (“Machete”, “Sin City”)

1973 [39] Chino Moreno, Sacramento CA, alt-rock singer (Deftones-“Diamond Eyes”, “Rocket Skates”)

1976 [36] Jerome Fontamillas, Watsonville CA, alt-rock guitarist/keyboardist (Switchfoot-“Meant to Live”, “Dare You to Move”)

1983 [29] Grace Potter, Waitsfield VT, pop-rock singer-songwriter (Grace Potter & The Nocturnals-“Never Go Back”, w/Kenny Chesney-“You and Tequila”)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “American Eagle Day”, to commemorate America’s national symbol, the Bald Eagle. In a 1784 letter to his daughter, Benjamin Franklin complained about the choice of the Bald Eagle as America’s symbol, saying he preferred … the turkey.

• “International Surfing Day”, an unofficial, environmentally-conscious observance that celebrates the sport of surfing, the surfing lifestyle and the sustainability of ocean resources.

• “Summer Solstice” occurs at 7:09 pm EDT. ‘Solstice’ comes from the Latin words ‘sol’ (sun) and ‘sistit’ (stands). What single thing sums up Summer for you?

• “World Refugee Day”, first declared by the UN in 2001 as an expression of solidarity with Africa, which hosts the most refugees.
NET: http://www.un.org/depts/dhl/refugee/

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1975 [37] Steven Spielberg’s “Jaws” opens in movie theaters (countless moviegoers are afraid to go into the ocean for the rest of the Summer)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
2004 [08] Paul McCartney plays his 3,000th professional concert, appearing in the Palace Square of St Petersburg, Russia

2006 [06] The BBC cancels its landmark weekly pop music show “Top Of the Pops” after a record 42 years on-the-air

2008 [04] Surrey University in England awards Led Zeppelin’s Jimmy Page an honorary Doctorate in Music

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1996 [16] Canadian astronaut Bob Thirsk lifts off in the NASA Space Shuttle carrying Boston Bruins hockey legend Bobby Orr’s Stanley Cup ring, his #4 jersey, and 6 hockey pucks

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1986 [26] In Rochester NY, competitive eating champ Peter Dowdeswell sets a new record by downing 144 prunes in 32 seconds (sets another record the next morning)

COMING UP . . .
[Thurs] Canadian Aboriginal Day
[Thurs] Atheists Solidarity Day
[Thurs] Go Skateboarding Day
[Thurs] Recess at Work Day
[Thurs] World Handshake Day
[Thurs] World Humanist Day
This Week Is … Meet a Mate Week
This Month Is … Audio Book Appreciation Month

BULL’S BITS

BS SIGNS THE ROLLING STONES HAVE BEEN TOGETHER 50 YEARS:
• Can no longer play instruments because pants are pulled up over their heads.
• Enjoying worry-free sex with groupies who have gone through ‘the change of life’.
• New albums released to coincide with mailing of pension checks to fans.
• Old danger: drug overdose. New danger: slipping and falling in shower.
• Old issue: crowd control. New issue: bladder control.
• Keith’s new tell-all book: “From Cocaine to Correctol”.
• New plan to close concerts with “Time Was On Our Side” and “I Can’t Get No Met-a-mucil”.
• Fans now signal desire for an encore by tapping their walkers on the ground.

BS PHONE STARTER:
☎ What TV family would you most like to see back together for a reunion?

MORE BS PUNCHLINES:
Sometimes you don’t need the entire joke, just the zinger. For instance …
• “That’s funny, I could have sworn it was marked ‘This End Up’!”
• So the waiter says, “Madam, that’s not a fly in your soup – it’s a tiny, tightly-woven spool of pubic hair.”
• “Forget the honeymoon, the alimony will give me a better screwing!”
• “Any faster and you’d be working for Federal Express.”
• “What paté? This is my stool sample.”
• “So he says, ‘How do you think I rang the doorbell?’”

BS RANDOM JOKE:
It’s summertime and the livin’ is easy … if you’ve got a kid to mow your lawn.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: 70% of men surveyed say THIS is something they enjoy doing during the Summer.
Answer: Watching the bug zapper.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
If you can’t be kind, at least be vague.