Tuesday, June 26, 2018 Edition: #6242
Here’s More Bull Roar!
BS SUBSCRIBER NOTE:
There’ll be no “BS” service for Monday July 2 to observe the Canada Day holiday. All subscribers will receive credit for the missed service day. The Bull Sheet will resume publication on Tuesday, July 3.
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ It looks like Roseanne Barr really regrets the racist tweet that pretty much ruined her career. She called into Rabbi Shmuley Boteach’s podcast at Stand Up NY to apologize. As she was talking about her mistake, Barr got very emotional and burst into tears, saying: “I am a lot of things. I am a loudmouth and all that stuff, but I am not stupid, for God’s sake, and I would never have wittingly called any black person … say they’re a monkey. I never would do that!…And if people think I did that it just kills me.” But she also said that she knows what she did was wrong and that she is willing to accept the consequences…and she has.
★ President Donald Trump’s alter ego, Saturday Night Live’s Alec Baldwin, has invited Melania Trump to “come, come to the light” and appear on the show with him. Baldwin, who is well-known for his humorous imitation of the U.S. President, tweeted the invitation in the wake of an uproar over the bizarre jacket the first lady wore a jacket featuring the phrase ”I really don’t care” during a trip to a child detention center.
★ Kelly Osbourne had “crazy meltdowns” while filming with her brother Jack and father Ozzy for their show “Ozzy & Jack’s World Detour”. Jack Osbourne says that working with his relatives again, after previously letting cameras into their lives for the reality show “The Osbournes” was enjoyable, but “Kelly is very particular. Kelly has a thing called misophonia… a disorder where you basically freak out over certain noises, but like, full on freak out. So, if you’re smacking your lips when you eat, (it will annoy her)… There’s zero cure for it, there’s no therapy for it, but she will have these crazy meltdowns.”
(I felt the same when I heard her sing!)
★ ABC has pulled an episode of the new reality dating series “The Proposal” after a woman made a sexual assault allegation against one of the contestants. The Proposal follows 10 dates who participate in multiple pageant-style rounds to win a person’s affection. The identity of that person remains hidden from the contestants. The woman said she met one of the show’s contestants on Tinder in November, which led to date-rape.
★ The Hungarian State Opera canceled 15 performances of the musical “Billy Elliot” because of decreased interest after it was accused of being gay propaganda by a newspaper columnist. The production is based on the 2000 film of the same name, which tells the story of a boy becoming a professional ballet dancer in northeastern England during the 1984-85 coal miners’ strike. The Budapest-based theater has performed “Billy Elliot” 90 times to more than 100,000 people since 2016, but ticket prices for the remaining performances have been cut in half.
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Mariah Carey, Isla Fisher, KYLE featuring Kehlani ( R )
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Shaquille O’Neal, Jenna Dewan, Keith Urban
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Hugh Grant, Kyrie Irving, Margaret Hoover
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Nick Kroll, Stacey Abrams, Katie Stevens, Jennie Vee & Joe Russo
• “Conan” (TBS/Comedy): Armie Hammer, Nick Swardson, JC Currais ( R )
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Rachel Zoe, Conrad Empson
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Jessica Chastain, Jon Meacham
• “The Talk” (CBS): Howie Mandel, Jackelyn Shultz, guest co-host Carrie Ann Inaba
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): John Krasinski, Hailey Baldwin, Aisha Tyler
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Jennifer Garner, RuPaul ( R )
• “America’s Got Talent” (NBC): Auditions #5
• “Chopped” (FOOD): Season 39 premiere. Small plates are the theme for the chefs’ challenge.
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Demi Lovato – has raised a few eyebrows with the lyrics to her new song ‘Sober’. She tweeted a link to the song with the words, “My Truth”. It contains the lyrics, “Momma, I’m so sorry I’m not sober anymore.” Lovato has struggled with drugs, alcohol and eating disorders in the past.
• Cardi B – wants to branch out into acting. She has reportedly signed a deal with Creative Artists Agency to help her land ”career-defining and challenging role” that doesn’t require her to be away from her daughter for too long. She is expecting in the next few weeks.
• Selena Gomez – made an appearance on Saturday night at the Children’s Hospital Orange County’s oncology prom event. Other celebrities there included Jack Black and “Grey’s Anatomy” stars Sarah Drew, James Pickens Jr., Caterina Scorsone and Kevin McKidd.
• Suge Knight – Will pay for his mother’s funeral, even though he’s not allowed to attend. He is covering the $20,000 bill for the funeral of Maxine Chatman, who passed away last weekend. Knight is not allowed to attend the funeral because he’s in jail awaiting trial for murder.
• Led Zeppelin – have announced a reissue of ‘The Song Remains The Same’ for their 50th anniversary this year. ‘The Song Remains The Same’ was the soundtrack to the band’s 1976 concert film, which was filmed at New York’s Madison Square Garden in 1973. The new edition will be released on September 7 in multiple formats.
• Iggy Pop – has announced new joint EP he has recorded with Underworld. ‘Teatime Dub Encounters’ arrives July 27. The 4-track release is the “result of a few clandestine hotel room recording sessions.”
• Ramones – A new film about them is in the works. “I Slept With Joey Ramone” is based on the memoir of the same name, which was written by Joey Ramone’s brother Mickey Leigh.
• Cody Jinks – was forced to cut his show short and was taken to the hospital on Friday night after struggling to play through what he described as “a severe onset of vertigo.” About an hour into his set, Jinks told the crowd he felt dizzy. After playing several songs sitting down, he apologized and was led off stage.
• Shania Twain – Says she has never bought her 16 year-old son Eja a birthday present for fear of “spoiling” him. Quote: “I have to be careful not to let him have everything he wants, so I’ve only ever baked a cake for his birthday.” She says her son is happy with her decision, as it’s all he’s ever known.
THIS WEEK’S VIDEO RELEASES:
• “Rampage” (PG-13, Action/Adventure): When three different animals become infected with a dangerous pathogen, a primatologist and a geneticist team up to stop them from destroying Chicago. (Dwayne Johnson, Naomie Harris)
• “Acrimony” (R-Rated, Mystery/Suspense): A faithful wife, tired of standing by her devious husband, is enraged when it becomes clear she has been betrayed. (Taraji P. Henson, Lyriq Bent)
• “The Endless” (Not Rated, Horror/Mystery): Two brothers return to the cult they fled from years ago, to discover that the group’s beliefs may be more sane than they once thought. (Callie Hernandez, Emily Montague)
• “Gemini” (R-Rated, Drama/Mystery): A heinous crime tests the complex relationship between a tenacious personal assistant and her Hollywood starlet boss. (Lola Kirke, Zoë Kravitz)
• “Terminal” (Not Rated, Drama): Follows two assassins with a sinister mission, a fatally ill teacher, an enigmatic janitor and a waitress with a double life. (Margot Robbie, Simon Pegg)
• “In Darkness” (Not Rated, Mystery/Suspense): A blind musician hears a murder committed in the apartment upstairs, which sends her down a dark path into London’s gritty criminal underworld. (Emily Ratajkowski, Natalie Dormer)
It is probably no surprise to you to learn that scientists have confirmed what anyone who has sat around a campfire already knew: That mosquitos are more attracted to some people than others. But a new study, done at Virginia Tech, also came up with another, unexpected conclusion. Researchers found that mosquitos identify and remember people according to their scent and how aggressively they swat at them. That’s right. Mosquitos learn through experience which people to attack and which to avoid. So while a person’s blood can be remembered as particularly delicious, so can their ferocious swatting techniques.
(So the more you swat at them, the less likely they are to return? Not in my experience!)
(Reason #27 not to pass out at the campfire!)
I’LL GIVE YOU SOMETHING TO DO!
The running joke has always been that schoolkids enjoy their summer break for…oh, about 2 days before the “Mooooom, I’m bored” phrase starts getting thrown around. But what about Mom? And Dad for that matter. A study of 2,000 parents examined how they cope with the school summer break and found it takes exactly 13 days for them to start wishing summer was over. A lot of that summertime stress comes from the fact that 58 percent of parents feel pressure to plan out what their kids will do for the entirety of their summer. And three in five parents worry that their summer plans won’t live up to their kids’ expectations.
(The only thing my parents worried about when I was on summer vacation was that they would wind up in small claims court!)
(***See “How I Spent On My Summer Vacation” below for more findings from the study***)
HOW I SPENT ON MY SUMMER VACATION:
Expected expenditures by parents on children during summer break, according to a U.S. survey by OnePoll/Groupon:
• Amount parents will spend on tickets/entry fees/activities during summer: $1,668.96
• Amount parents will spend on food and drinks for kids during summer: $1,534.98
• Amount parents will spend on toys/games/things to occupy kids during summer: $1,039.14
• All other expenses on children during summer: $3,090.72
• Total amount parents will spend on making sure their kids are having the time of their lives: $7,333.80
(And they haven’t even done their back-to-school shopping yet!)
(Wow! Talk about getting burned in the summer!)
BS CHRONOMETER 06.26.18
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1959  Mark McKinney, Ottawa Canada, TV actor (‘Glenn Sturgis’ on “Superstore” since 2015, “The Kids in the Hall” 1988-1995)
1970  Chris O’Donnell, Winnetka IL, TV actor (“NCIS: Los Angeles” since 2009)/movie actor (“Batman & Robin”)
1970  Sean Hayes, Glen Ellyn, IL, TV actor (‘Jack McFarland’ on “Will & Grace” 1998-2006, 2018)
1970  Nick Offerman, Minooka IL, TV actor (“Parks & Recreation” 2009-15)
1973  Gretchen Wilson, Pocahontas IL, country singer (‘Redneck Woman’)
1974  Derek Jeter, Pequannock, NJ, retired baseball pro, (New York Yankees shortstop 1995-2014, 5-time World Series champ), CEO and part owner of Miami Marlins
1979  Nathan Followill, Oklahoma City OK, alt-rock drummer-vocalist (Kings of Leon -‘Use Somebody’, ‘Sex on Fire’)
1979  Ryan Tedder, Tulsa OK, pop-rock singer (OneRepublic–‘Counting Stars’)/songwriter-producer (Adele, Beyoncé, Carrie Underwood, Jennifer Lopez, etc)
1984  Aubrey Plaza, Wilmington DE, TV actress (“Parks & Recreation” 2009-15, “Legion” since 2017)
1993  Ariana Grande, Boca Raton FL, pop singer (w/Jessie J & Nicki Minaj-‘Bang Bang’, ‘No Tears Left to Cry’)
TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Beautician’s Day”, your chance to show your appreciation to those who make you look beautiful. That includes your hairstylist, manicurist, esthetician (and Photoshop).
• “Chocolate Pudding Day”, celebrating the ooey-gooey dessert most toddlers like to eat … with their hands.
• “Tropical Cocktails Day”, don’t forget to add a few frilly umbrellas for extra flair!
• “International Day Against Drug Abuse & Illicit Trafficking”, a UN observance established in 1987 with the goal of achieving an international society free of drug abuse.
• “National Canoe Day” in Canada. There are two types of canoes, the K-boat, or kayak, a closed decked vessel, is generally meant for the use of one person and is propelled by a single paddle with a blade at either end. The second type is the more traditional C-boat, or Canadian. The canoe has been chosen as one of the ‘Seven Wonders of Canada’.
Quote: “A true Canadian is one who can make love in a canoe without tipping.” – Pierre Berton
• “Forgiveness Day”, troubles and disputes should be ended on Forgiveness Day. It would be a nice idea to reconnect with someone whom you have not spoken to in awhile because of a prior disagreement. (But he started it!!)
AND REMEMBER . . .
[Wed] Helen Keller Day
[Wed] Pineapple Day
[Thurs] National Handshake Day
[Thurs] Paul Bunyan Day
TODAY’S (NOT SO) SPORTING EVENT:
2014  Uruguayan striker Luis Suarez is thrown out of the World Cup for biting Italian player Giorgio Chiellini on the shoulder (also banned from 9 international matches and handed a 4-month suspension)
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1977  A pale, weak, and obese Elvis Presley performs what will be his final concert, at the Market Square Arena in Indianapolis, Indiana for a crowd of 18,000 (he dies August 16th)
2005  Pink proposes to her boyfriend, motocross rider Carey Hart, by holding up a sign that says “Will You Marry Me?” while he is racing in Mammoth, California. On the next lap, she adds, “I’m Serious.” He pulls out of the race to say yes.
TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1974  1st UPC grocery scanner is installed at a supermarket in Troy, Ohio (1st product to carry a UPC ‘bar code’ is Wrigley’s chewing gum)
1997  “Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone”, the 1st book in J. K. Rowling’s best-selling series, is published
TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1981  ‘Most Coupons Used In a Single Purchase’ as Virginia Campbell of Mountain Home, Idaho buys $24,460 worth of groceries in a supermarket and uses clipped coupons and rebates to cover all but 67 cents of the bill
BS WACK FACTS:
✓ Some banks employ therapists known as “wealth psychologists” who help super-rich clients mentally cope with their immense wealth.
✓ Scientists say that the higher your I.Q., the more often you dream.
✓ Flowers are known to grow faster when music plays near them.
✓ Honey is the only food that includes all the substances necessary to sustain life, including enzymes, minerals, water and vitamins.
✓ Pineapples are not a single fruit, but a group of berries that have fused together.
✓ Chewing gum makes a person more flatulent than usual due to increased swallowing of air.
BS BAD COOKOUT DISHES:
• Chocolate covered Salmon
• Carrot dogs
• Beard hair salad
• Leftover potato salad from last week’s cookout
• Veggie tray. Don’t be that guy.
• Fava beans and a nice Chianti
• Gas station sushi
• Anything that is imprisoned inside jello
• Anything and everything containing mayonnaise.
BS FAKE DINOSAUR FACTS:
• The first dinosaur to become extinct was the Thesaurus.
• The T-Rex died out because their moms put their lunch money in their back pockets
• If you say ‘Stegosaurus’ backwards, it sounds like ‘Yanni’.
• You can’t hear a pterodactyl urinate because his pee is silent.
• Shouting, “Look a meteor!” was a huge practical joke back in the day.
• They went extinct due to a reptile dysfunction.
BS PHONE STARTER:
What is the most ridiculous injury you’ve ever suffered?
BS RANDOM JOKE:
Whoever put the ‘b’ in ‘subtle’ really knew what he was doing.
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: 40% of teenage girls say they’ve been embarrassed by their dad doing THIS. What?
Answer: Going shirtless in front of friends
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Always speak well of your enemies, after all, you made them.