June 23 2020

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Tuesday, June 23, 2020 – Edition: #6725

Good Morning, Sheetheads!

★ Ben Mulroney has stepped down as host of Canada’s “etalk” in the wake of the recent backlash against his wife, Jessica, who has been criticized for attempting to use her privilege to silence and damage the career of a Black influencer. He spoke about the debacle on Monday’s episode of “Your Morning”, one of the multiple CTV shows for which he serves as a co-host. Mulroney acknowledged the extent to which his privilege has benefited him and his career, adding that his departure from the show, which he has been with for nearly 20 years, is a move to hopefully make space for more diversity and will be effective immediately. He will still be doing occasional “special assignments” for CTV,  including hosting etalk’s Oscars coverage, on top of his continuing role at Your Morning.
★ Heather Locklear is heading down the aisle again after becoming engaged to her childhood sweetheart, Chris Heisser. The couple dated in high school and reconnected a few years ago. Their relationship has been on and off amid her recent battle with substance abuse and rehab recovery. In fact, Locklear’s troubles in 2018 began when she was arrested for domestic violence following an altercation with Heisser. This will be Locklear’s third marriage. She was previously wed to rockers Richie Sambora and Tommy Lee.
★ Amy Schumer has posted her phone number on social media in order to talk to victims of sexual assault. She took to both Instagram and Twitter on Saturday and shared her number, as she spoke out ”in solidarity” with women who have come forward to share their experiences with sexual assault and rape. Schumer wrote: ”I’m here to talk if anyone needs any support. Reach out and I’ll try to help as best I can. My number is posted on my bio.”
★ Actor-comedian D.L. Hughley, who collapsed in the middle of his set at a Nashville comedy club, has announced that he tested positive for the coronavirus. On Saturday, Hughley posted a video on Twitter in which he told his fans that he was treated for exhaustion and dehydration afterward, then says: “I also tested positive for COVID-19, which blew me away. I was what they call asymptomatic. I didn’t have any symptoms.”


• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Patton Oswalt (R)
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Lin-Manuel Miranda, Kenya Barris, Michael Stipe & Big Red Machine
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): John Bolton, Leslie Odom Jr.
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Chelsea Handler, Andrew Rannells
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Will Ferrell, Billy Porter, Phoebe Bridgers
• “Conan” (TBS): Sen. Cory Booker (R)
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Antoni Porowski, Tan France, Karamo Brown, Bobby Berk, Jonathan Van Ness
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Darrell “Bubba” Wallace Jr., Loni Love
• “The Talk” (CBS): Derek Hough
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Josh Hutcherson, Pitbull, Dr. Melina Jampolis, guest co-host Mark Consuelos
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Best of Quarantine
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): Chelsea Handler, Ron Funches, Frank Grillo
• “America’s Got Talent” (NBC): Auditions continue with judges Simon Cowell, Howie Mandel, Sofia Vergara, and guest judge Eric Stonestreet
• “Celebrity Show-Off” (TBS): Series premiere. Mayim Bialik hosts to see which celebrities can produce the most compelling content from their own homes.
• “Greenleaf” (OWN): Season 5 premiere

• Post Malone – took to Instagram Sunday to share a photo of his newly shaved head and what appears to be a huge skull tattoo on the right side of his head. He captioned the selfie: “I have cut my hair even shorter, also skeletons are cool…”
• Justin Bieber — has produced screenshots of emails and hotel receipts to refute a sexual assault claim. He also wrote: “Rumors are rumors but sexual abuse is something I don’t take lightly.” On Saturday, Twitter user “Danielle”, who chose to keep her last name anonymous, alleged that she was sexually assaulted by the singer in 2014.
• Rick Astley – is sharing a cover of Foo Fighters’ ‘Everlong’. He posted video of himself in his home studio, accompanying himself on acoustic guitar.  Before he launches into the song, he says: “One of the bands I always go to, believe it or not, is Foo Fighters.” Last summer, Astley joined Dave Grohl onstage for a rendition of ‘Never Gonna Give You Up’.  LINK
• Tom Petty – His family is ripping Donald Trump for using ‘I Won’t Back Down’ at his rally in Tulsa, OK on Sat. A statement from Petty’s widow, ex-wife and children says: “Trump was in no way authorized to use this song to further a campaign that leaves too many Americans and common sense behind,” and that Petty “would never want a song of his used for a campaign of hate.”
• The Grateful Dead – are selling a new line of organic deodorant. It’s in collaboration with North Coast Organics, and includes 5 scents, including ‘Workingman’s’ with cedar and juniper scents, and ‘Skull & Roses’ with hints of lavender and rose. (Doesn’t everyone want to smell like “The Dead”?)
• Nirvana – The 1959 Martin acoustic guitar that Kurt Cobain played at Nirvana’s MTV Unplugged was auctioned for more than $6 million on Sat., making it most expensive guitar ever sold. The previous record was $3.975 million for a Black Stratocaster owned by David Gilmour of Pink Floyd.
• Quiet Riot – has canceled its “socially distanced” concert on July 4 at a water park in Hot Springs, Arkansas due to “serious health concerns.” Molly Hatchet and Blackfoot will still perform as planned.
• Rascal Flatts — released the new single, ‘How They Remember You’ on Friday. It’s their first new music since the single ‘Back to Life’ in 2018. The trio planned to embark on their Farewell Tour from June to October 2020, but that’s been canceled due to the pandemic.
• Willie Nelson – has a collaboration with Snoop Dogg coming out in a few weeks, and it sounds as though this time it won’t be about their favorite pastime. According to Snoop: “Man that’s my big brother. And the reason we’re gonna make this record is because black and white matters right now.” They’ve collaborated before on songs like ‘Roll Me Up and Smoke Me When I Die’ and ‘My Medicine’.

The world’s most popular fruit is fighting its own pandemic: A fungus called Tropical Race 4, or Panama Disease, that attacks the plant’s vascular system. Now, scientists are racing to stop the spread of Panama Disease, which has recently resurfaced and is ravaging banana fields in more than 20 countries. Possible solutions include creating a genetically modified variety as well as a vaccine. Right now, all that can be done is to quarantine infected farms, enforce sanitation measures, and prevent the movement of plants between growers – the banana equivalent of hand-washing and social distancing. One expert feels that in the future, bananas should be grown in organic soil, which is rich in microbes that fight the disease. The change would increase the cost of bananas, but may make the crop more sustainable in the long run.
(Bad news comes in bunches!)
(As soon as bananas hit $1.00 per pound, that’s it – I’m quitting!)
(How will this affect my crippling addiction to banana cream pie?)

If you’ve always dreamed of a job involving beer and the great outdoors…listen up! Virginia’s Devils Backbone Brewery (owned by Anheuser-Busch) is looking to hire a “Chief Hiking Officer” who will be paid $20,000 to hike the famous Appalachian Trail, while drinking and partying along the way. The brewery, which is situated in the Blue Ridge Mountains just a few miles from the Appalachian Trail, says on its website that people are always telling them that they wish they had the time to make the trek from Georgia to Maine on the trail (a distance of 2,200 miles (3,541km), “So, why couldn’t we sponsor one lucky hiker and help them check ‘conquer the AT’ off their bucket list?” The beer company will outfit their CHO with gear, fly him or her to the trail head, and “host some events along the way”. Plus, there’s the $20K paycheck. To qualify, entrants, as they put it, “gotta love hiking and beer. We mean really love it. We’re talking 2,200 miles, camping under the stars, pack-in-pack-out for 5-7 months (and) love it.” They are accepting video applications through July 31. Alas, the contest is only open to residents of the 14 states that cross the trail.
(It sounded great, and then suddenly all I could picture was Forrest Gump…)
(It sounds great, but it could also be dangerous. Bear with me on this…)
(I’ve never walked 2,200 miles, but I’ve walked home from parties where it FELT like I was…)

The mini skirt has been named the most iconic fashion trend of all-time. A survey of 2,000 people in the UK placed the unforgettable item at the top of the list, beating the “little black dress” (#2) and hot pants (#3) for the crown of fashion’s greatest garment. Here is the rest of the top 10:
4. Denim jacket
5. Platform shoes
6. Flared trousers
7. Leather biker jacket
8. Shoulder pads
9. Knee high boots
10. Skinny jeans
(Me: Quietly hides his MC Hammer pants in the bottom of the drawer…)


(Ummm…coronavirus aside…)
➢ They save us from mosquitos:  Bats play a huge role in controlling insect populations. In an hour, a bat can eat 500 to 1,000 mosquitoes, which can carry diseases like the Zika virus, dengue fever or malaria.
➢ They’re environmentally conscious:  The droppings of fruit-eating bats disperse seeds, helping to regenerate plants and trees previously damaged or cut down. Their droppings are also full of nitrogen, which is a vital ingredient for crops. (Which explains the beanstalks in my attic…)
➢ They help make tequila:  The muzzles of long-nosed bats are designed to fit perfectly inside some cactus blossoms. This species, native to the American Southwest and Mexico, pollinates the blue agave plant — the key ingredient in tequila. They act as surrogates, carrying pollen from one agave plant to another.
➢ They’re fighting a disease humans gave them: In North America over the past 15 years, about a dozen bat species have been affected by a disease called “white nose syndrome.” In some cases, populations have plummeted by more than 90%. It’s thought the fungus came from humans in Europe.
➢ They help with medical research:  Vampire bats — a rare species that feeds on the blood of birds, pigs and cattle — have blood-thinning agents in their saliva, Scientists are looking into whether that could be helpful for treating humans. Vampire bats’ blood might also help with treatments for stroke, hypertension, heart failure and kidney diseases. Scientists are also studying how bats are able to withstand numerous viruses and pathogens.
(Did you hear all that, Ozzy?)

Research from Harvard study shows that people who regularly volunteer enjoy longer, happier, healthier lives. The study of 13,000 people over 50 years old showed that those who volunteer for about two hours weekly have a considerably lower risk of death. They’re also less likely to develop physical impairments and tend to exercise more frequently.


1956 [64] Randy Jackson, Baton Rouge LA, TV personality (“American Idol Judge” 2002-2014, “America’s Best Dance Crew” 2008-2010), bassist-singer (re-joined Journey in May, Aretha Franklin, Kenny G)

1957 [63] Frances McDormand, Chicago IL, movie actress (“Burn After Reading”, “Almost Famous”, 1997 Oscar–“Fargo”)/married to filmmaker Joel Coen (of The Coen Brothers) since 1984

1972 [48] Selma Blair, Southfield MI, TV actress (“Anger Management” 2012-14)/movie actress (“Cruel Intentions”)

1977 [43] Jason Mraz, Mechanicsville VA, pop/folk singer (‘I’m Yours’, ‘I Won’t Give Up’)

1980 [40] Melissa Rauch, Marlboro NJ, TV actress (‘Bernadette Rostenkowski’ on “The Big Bang Theory” 2009-19)

1984 [36] (Aimee Anne) Duffy, Bangor Wales, pop singer (‘Warwick Avenue’, ‘Mercy’)

• “International Widows Day”, a UN-sanctioned day of action to address the poverty and injustice faced by millions of widows and their dependents in many countries.

• “Let It Go Day”, a day to release pent-up emotions. Whatever is bugging you, let it go!
(Aaaaad now you’ll be singing that song all day!)

• “Pink Day”, for some unknown reason a day to dress in pink, from your lipstick to your toenail polish.

• “Runners Selfie Day”, a day to celebrate your run with a pic that you post at #runnersselfie.

• “Pecan Sandies Day”,  a tribute to those fabulous shortbread cookies that are rich with both butter and toasted nuts. Perfect with iced tea or milk or coffee, they really require no embellishment.

• “Typewriting Day”, a celebration of the anniversary of the granting of a patent to American inventor Christopher Latham Sholes in 1868. So, take your old typewriter from the attic, dust it off, and get started on your magnum opus! (Would his first model be called a “proto-typewriter”?)

• “Pink Flamingo Day”, saluting the tacky lawn ornament created by Don Featherstone in 1957. BS FAST FACT: Worldwide, there are more fake flamingos than real ones.

[Wed] Celebration of the Senses
[Wed] World UFO Day
[Thurs] Global Beatles Day
[Thurs] Leon Day

2009 [11] TV personality Ed McMahon, Johnny Carson’s former sidekick on the “Tonight Show” (1962-92), dies at age 86

2018 [02] “Game of Thrones” actors Kit Harington and Rose Leslie marry in Aberdeenshire, Scotland

2016 [04] After a trial in which the three living members of Led Zeppelin testified, a jury rules they are not guilty of plagiarizing the intro of ‘Stairway to Heaven’ from the 1968 song ‘Taurus’ by the band Spirit. The ruling is upheld in 2020

2013 [07] Millions watch on TV as Nik Wallenda becomes the first to successfully walk across the Grand Canyon on a tightrope

2007 [13] After passing through 50 countries including Australia, Canada, China, Japan, Mexico, Russia, and the USA, an around-the-world relay celebrating Italian sports-car maker Ferrari’s 60th anniversary finishes up at Ferrari headquarters in Maranello, Italy


• The average person falls asleep in 7 minutes.
• The fingernails on your dominant hand grow faster.
• 1/4 of your bones are in your feet.
• Your eyes can distinguish about 10 million different colors
• Your tongue is the fastest-healing part of your body.
• Your sweat is odorless. It is the bacteria on your skin that blends with it and produces the stink.
-Did-You-Knows, Playbuzz

Best of BS . . .
• Rubbing alcohol
• Guacamole, because everything’s better with guac on it.
• More cowbell
• Steel wool and vinegar
• Deny, deny, deny
• Rub a jellyfish on affected area then pee on it.
• Frank’s RedHot Sauce. “Cause I put that [STUFF] on everything”
• Fight fire with fire. Stay out in the sun.
• 3 Long Island Iced Teas and you’ll forget all about that crap.
• Thoughts and prayers
-Twitter, first published in ‘BS’ in 2018


• You wake up to find a bird’s head in your bed.
• Droppings in the litter box spell out ‘REDRUM’.
• You catch him with a new mohawk looking in the mirror saying, “Mew looking at me? Mew looking at me?”
• Instead of dead birds, leaves cartons of cigarettes on your doorstep.
• The ball of yarn has been playfully tied into a hangman’s noose.
• Now sharpens claws on your car’s brake lines.
• She actually HAS got your tongue.
– DaHumorist, first published in BS in 2012

➠ Airmax Inflatables, which is best known for birthday party bouncy castles, is marketing an “inflatable pub” in Ireland. (And just like all the Irish in Pubs, inevitably one has too much, becomes inflated, explodes and all hell breaks loose!
➠ Hilaria Baldwin just announced she and her husband Alec are expecting their fifth child. (Alec says he’ll make a good father because he’s totally forgotten about how he was with his first kid.)
➠ There’s a COVID-19 outbreak at Cruisin’ Chubbys Strip Club in Wisconsin. (I tried to go there last night, but they were clothed.)
➠ Did you know that in 2013, a woman claimed she got pregnant by eating at McDonald’s?  (It’s True! At McDonald’s they call that “The Big McSteak”!)
➠ Fact of the Day:  Some penguins are prostitutes – offering sex in exchange for pebbles. (Thank goodness this business of  guys giving a woman a rock for sex doesn’t happen with humans!)

Dining out – 2020 style:  https://tinyurl.com/y7o3gu97

My biggest fear is marrying into a family that runs 5Ks on Thanksgiving.

What is your all-time favorite ‘summer song’?
• Walkin’ on Sunshine?
• School’s Out?
• Umbrella?
• In the Summertime?
• Summer Nights?
• All Summer Long?
• Everything the Beach Boys ever recorded?

Question:  11% of men say they would give THIS up for $1.5 million. What is it?
Answer:  Their best friend

Maybe you’ve been assigned this mountain to show others it can be moved.


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