June 2 2022

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Thursday, June 2, 2022 — Edition: #7243

You Really Know Your Sheet!


***UPDATE*** ★ A jury has found both Amber Heard and Johnny Depp liable for defamation in their lawsuits against each other. Depp his ex-wife Heard for defamation over an op-ed she wrote in which she described herself as a “public figure representing domestic abuse.” Heard countersued for defamation over statements Depp’s attorney made about her abuse claims. The jury awarded Depp $10 million in compensatory damages and $5 million dollars in punitive damages. The judge reduced punitive damages to the state of Virginia’s limit of $350,000. The jury awarded Heard $2 million in compensatory damages and no money for punitive damages. Depp had sought $50 million, and Heard $100 million. Heard kept her eyes down as the verdict was read. Depp was not present in court.
★ It has surfaced that Kate Moss attended Jeff Beck’s London gig to watch Johnny Depp perform, days after testifying on his behalf in his lawsuit against Amber Heard. The Daily Mail reports the supermodel was spotted at Depp and Beck’s Royal Albert Hall performance alongside Sharon Osbourne on Monday. After the show, it’s claimed that Moss headed backstage with Osbourne to party with the band and her ex-partner. Last Wednesday, Moss testified by video in Depp’s defamation trial against Heard in Virginia, refuting a rumor that Depp had pushed her down a flight of steps when the pair were a famous ‘it’ couple. They began dating in 1994 and were together for 4 years before going their separate ways in 1998.
★ After a 3-year wait, “Stranger Things” is back and setting records on Netflix. Season 4 volume 1 broke the record for biggest-ever premiere weekend of an English-language series, which was previously held by Season 2 of “Bridgerton.” According to Netflix’s newly released Top 10 rankings, Season 4 of the sci-fi series was viewed for 287 million hours during the week of May 23-30, landing in the #1 position. This comes after only 3 days of availability, as Part 1 of the season debuted with 7 episodes on Friday. All 4 seasons of “Stranger Things” made it back into Netflix’s Top 5 titles for the week of May 23-30.
★ “The View” is going on vacation, but the co-hosts will still have to report to work. Amidst a blast of confetti on stage, followed by a steel drum performance and tropical drinks for the stars, Whoopi Goldberg said: “This show has been on the air for 25 seasons and we are long, long, long overdue for a vacation. So, The View is heading to the Bahamas!” Goldberg, Joy Behar, Sunny Hostin, and Sara Haines will host a week of shows beginning June 27 from the Baha Mar Resort in Nassau, which happens to be one of the show’s sponsors. Goldberg teased “great guests and musical performances, and, of course, the hottest topics you can imagine.”
★ “The Office” is coming back! But probably not in the form that you had hoped. Saudi Arabia is getting its own version of classic comedy. “Al Maktab,” the name of the Saudi Arabian version, will span 20 episodes. BBC Studios, which licenses the franchise, said “Although office working may look slightly different for many of us in 2022, the familiarity of these well-observed characters as they navigate petty rivalries, moments of friendship and humor, and a boss that sometimes makes a fool of themselves still rings just as true.” The new version, which begins production in June, is set at a courier company.


• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Queen Latifah, Danny Ramirez, Pusha T
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Fred Armisen, Chloë Sevigny, Michelle Zauner, Måneskin (R)
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Mark Esper, Judd Apatow (R)
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Billy Crystal, Samara Weaving, Ulf Mickael Wahlgren (R)
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): LaKeith Stanfield, Ryan Tedder, OneRepublic (R)
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Joy Behar, Meredith Vieira, Star Jones, Debbie Matenopoulos, guest co-host Tara Setmayer
• “The Talk” (CBS): Simone Missick, Phil Rosenthal, guest co-host Jenna Dewan
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Jane Lynch, Anika Noni Rose, David Foster, Katharine McPhee
• “The Wendy Williams Show” (Check local listings): Isaac Mizrahi, guest hosts Vivica A. Fox & Carson Kressley
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Lilly Singh, Quinta Brunson, guest host Dwyane Wade
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (Check local listings): Seth MacFarlane, Margaret Cho, Rex Chapman
• “The Drew Barrymore Show” Martha Stewart (R)
• “NHL Playoffs” (CBC, SN, TNT): Western Conference final game #2: Edmonton @ Colorado
• “NBA Playoffs” (ABC, TSN): Finals game #1: Boston @ Golden State
• “MasterChef” (FOX): Previous junior edition winner Alexander Weiss guest judges.
• “Walker” (CW): Twyla is tapped to assist the Rangers on a case as she and Cordell are beginning to grow closer; Stella revaluates her feelings for Todd and Colton.


• Diplo – was refused entry to a Cannes Film Fest party – where he was scheduled to perform. He shared a clip capturing the moment, saying: “I was booked to DJ a yacht party in Cannes but security wouldn’t let me in.” After some confusion, he notes, “Luckily the owner was walking by and let me in…” LINK: https://tinyurl.com/2p82jfpp
• Halsey — A little more than a week after venting frustrations online over having a new song allegedly held from release by their record label, Halsey has announced that ‘So Good’ is finally coming out on June 9, with a video arriving the next day. They tweeted: “I didn’t expect so much conversation about this record. All I know is that I wanted you guys to hear it and now you can.”
• Avril Lavigne – wants to release a Christmas album – and a cookbook. In an interview with The Guardian, she said: “My food is, like, gourmet. I can do everything! Pasta, sauce, vegan, salads and soups – I can do every kind of soup.” She’d also like to release a makeup line.
• Scorpions – In an interview with Ukraine’s TSM, frontman Klaus Meine said that, following the conflict between Ukraine and Russia, he believes the band’s most successful hit ‘Wind of Change’ has “lost the meaning of being a peace anthem”. In recent performances, he has altered the song’s lyrics.
• Eddie Van Halen — Reelz has released a sneak peek at “Autopsy: The Last Hours of Eddie Van Halen”, which will premiere on Sunday. “Autopsy: The Last Hours Of…” is a documentary series about the deaths of global icons and people whose untimely deaths were surrounded by scandal and intense media attention. LINK: https://www.reelz.com/
• Carly Pearce – has booked her first-ever headlining show at the Ryman Auditorium on Oct. 26. On Instagram, she wrote: “I’ve dreamt of headlining my own show at the legendary @theryman for years & it’s finally happening!!! I truly can’t wait for this magical night.” She recently topped the charts with Ashley McBryde on their duet ‘Never Wanted to Be That Girl’. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/447ssntp
• Kenny Chesney – His tour stop in Nashville on Saturday included a surprise appearance from friend Kelsea Ballerini. He introduced the fellow Tennessee native by saying:  “We shared a #1 record and we have yet to celebrate it (due to COVID delays) so we get to celebrate…here at Nissan [Stadium] tonight.” The powerful moment led Ballerini to break down in tears during ‘Half of My Hometown’. LINK: https://youtu.be/kydCthk6BgQ
• Drew Baldridge – He and his wife Katherine are expecting their first baby. The announcement comes on the heels of the couple’s first wedding anniversary. On social media, the ‘She’s Somebody’s Daughter’ singer wrote: “We couldn’t be happier!” Baby Baldridge is due in December.


Have you ever lost track of time while mindlessly scrolling through your social media feeds? Of course you have . . . we all do it. Well, here’s your excuse: You entered a “dissociative state” which not only made time irrelevant, you totally lost track of reality. University of Washington researchers watched as a group of social media users interacted with a “Twitter-like” platform. Sure enough, many appeared to space out while enjoying the app, where they became almost unaware of everything else in their lives, but couldn’t help but keep scrolling. The study’s lead author said that he likes to refer to this phenomenon as “dissociation” rather than “addiction”, because everyone naturally dissociates in many ways throughout our day – whether it’s daydreaming, watching TV, or surfing the net. The researchers found that this isn’t a result of users’ lack of self-control, and taking these mindless breaks can actually be restorative.
(Restorative for what? So you can watch even more TikToks?)
(But really, how long can you possibly spend on the toilet before your legs go numb?)

⇒ As well as helping us FEEL alive in the morning, it turns out that a daily cup of coffee might actually KEEP us alive for longer, too – even if we put sugar in it! A new study by scientists from the Southern Medical University in China, examined the coffee consumption habits and health of 171,000 people over 7 years. People who drink unsweetened coffee were 16-21% less likely to die during the study than non-coffee drinkers, while people consumed 1-4 cups of lightly sweetened coffee were 29-31% less likely to die. (Tune in next week for another completely contradictory study on the health effects of coffee!)
⇒ When’s the best time to work out, for optimal results? It depends on your gender, according a study from Skidmore College in NY. Researchers monitored 56 people over the course of a 12-week fitness program, which included sprinting, stretching, resistance and endurance training. The good news is that all who took part in the study saw better overall health, regardless of when they exercised. But it was determined that women saw the best results if they exercised in the evening, while for men, the best time is mornings. The factors that differentiate the sexes are likely to be hormonal differences, biological clocks and sleep-wake cycles, the authors said. (For me, morning isn’t the best time for ANYTHING!)
-DailyBeast, HuffPost

A doctor has warned people that we shouldn’t be peeing in the shower. Why? Well, just hold on a second. Urogynaecologist Dr Teresa Irwin, who specializes in pelvic health and incontinence, explained to her 85,000 TikTok followers that by letting loose while washing, we’re actually training our bladders to want to, uh, go when we hear the sound of water. In her video, she says: “You don’t want to do it all the time because what happens is every time you hear the sound of water your bladder is going to want to pee – because it’s used to hearing the sound of the water in the shower.” The end result, according to her, is that “whenever you’re washing your hands, washing the dishes, your bladder is going to be salivating, so to speak, because it wants to go and pee.” LINK: https://tinyurl.com/s8nzaxnp
(It kinda defeats the purpose of washing your hands if you’re going end up peeing yourself while you’re doing it!)
(How did she even know that I . . . oh, wait – everyone does, right? Heh heh heh…)
(Of course you realize that this information will result in a worldwide epidemic of people being 40 seconds late for work!)

☞ Sneakers: Apply non-gel toothpaste with an old toothbrush to make your old white-soled shoes look new again. Leave on for 10 minutes, and then wipe with a damp towel.
☞ Clothing:  Wash clothes inside out. The exterior of the fabric takes much less abuse and everything will look newer longer. (My teens have been right all along!)
☞ Glasses: If a screw keeps coming loose, remove it and apply a thin coat of nail polish. (Too bad that trick doesn’t work on family members with a screw loose!)
☞ Paint: When a can is stored upside down, the paint creates an absolutely airtight seal, which will make your paint last longer. (For those of us who haven’t already kicked it over a few times…)
☞ Paint rollers: Between coats of paint, store it in a plastic chip container, to keep it from drying out. (Just be sure to clean it well first, unless you’re going for the “textured” look!)
☞ Windshield wipers: To avoid drying out and cracking in a short time, soak a clean rag with glass cleaner, and wipe up and down the length of your wiper blades. You’ll see the results on the rag, and you’ll see better next time it rains. (And next time your car’s in for service, your mechanic will STILL replace them without asking!)
☞ Markers:  Remove the back nib, and deposit a few drops of isopropyl rubbing alcohol onto the felt material inside. Shake the marker a bit to ensure the alcohol is absorbed.
☞ Batteries: Charge batteries for your boat, motorcycle or riding mower at least once a month in the off-season, or hook them to a battery maintainer. At the least, remove the battery and store it indoors if you live in an area with cold winters.

Researchers have made an odd discovery male mice: bananas stress them out. Scientists at McGill University in Montreal were studying the reaction of male mice to pregnant females. Male mice are known for sometimes killing pups. So, heavily pregnant and lactating female mice emit chemicals to warn these males away. The authors found that a compound found in female mice’s urine is similar to one found in some fruits and used to produce banana extract. Researchers observed that chemical compounds in bananas triggered a stressful response in the male mice, similar to the stress response when about to engage in a fight.


• “Rocky Road Day”, saluting the ice cream flavor that’s made with chocolate ice cream, nuts and marshmallows. (As immortalized by ‘Weird’ Al Yankovic in his Joan Jett parody, ‘I Love Rocky Road’).
• “Leave the Office Early Day”, an incentive to many who often work more than 40 hours each week. (And, of course, today will be the one day that the boss doesn’t!)
• “Bubba Day”, honoring those formally named or just called ‘Bubba’. (We’re betting most of ’em live in ‘Dixie’.) “Bubba” is a term of endearment formed from the word “brother”, and is sometimes used to indicate that someone is like a “little brother”. A search for famous “Bubbas” reveals that most are nicknamed, rather than named Bubba at birth, including President Bill ‘Bubba’ Clinton, Charles ‘Bubba’ Smith (“Police Academy”) and golfer Gerry ‘Bubba’ Watson Jr.
• “Yell Fudge at the Cobras in North America Day”. To keep the poisonous snakes off the continent, you’re supposed to go outdoors at noon and yell ‘fudge!’ Seems to be working.
• “Rotisserie Chicken Day”, This delicious style of chicken is cooked whole on a rotisserie or spit that turns continuously over a heat source, roasting it slowly. This sears the skin to seal in the flavor, resulting in a tender and juicy chicken. (And resulting in the dog laying around the kitchen all day, drooling).
• “I Love My Dentist Day”, a big salute today to the people who CAN handle the tooth!


[Fri] National Donut Day
[Fri] National Itch Day
[Sat] Family Recreation Day
This Week Is…Bed Bug Awareness Week
This Month Is…Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Pride Month

1948 [74] Jerry Mathers, Sioux City IA, TV actor (‘Beaver Cleaver’ on “Leave It to Beaver” 1957-63)

1955 [67] Dana Carvey, Missoula MT, comedian-movie actor (‘Garth’ in “Wayne’s World” movies)/TV actor (“Saturday Night Live” 1986-93)

1961 [61] Liam Cunningham, Dublin Ireland, TV actor (‘Davos Seaworth’ on “Game of Thrones” 2012-19)

1968 [54] Andy Cohen, St. Louis MO, TV host (“Watch What Happens Live” since 2009)/the first openly gay late-night talk-show host

1972 [50] Wentworth Miller, Chipping Norton, UK, TV actor (“Prison Break” 2005-17, “The Flash” 2014-19)

1972 [50] Wayne Brady, Orlando FL, actor-TV host (“Whose Line Is It Anyway?” 1998-2006, since 2013, “Let’s Make a Deal” since 2009, “Don’t Forget the Lyrics!” 2007-09)

1977 [45] Zachary Quinto, Pittsburgh PA, movie actor (‘Spock’ in “Star Trek” movies)/TV actor (“American Horror Story: Asylum” 2012-13, “Heroes” 2006-10)

1980 [42] Fabrizio Moretti, Rio de Janeiro Brazil, rock drummer (The Strokes – ‘Last Nite’, ‘Juicebox’)

1988 [34] Awkwafina [Nora Lum], New York NY, rapper (‘Yellow Ranger’)/movie actress (“The Farewell”, “Crazy Rich Asians”, “Ocean’s 8”)

1953 [69] The coronation of 27-year-old Queen Elizabeth II becomes one of the first international news events given live minute-by-minute TV coverage

2000 [22] Tim McGraw is named ‘Father of the Year’ by the National Fatherhood Institute

2001 [21] A cover of the 1974 Labelle hit ‘Lady Marmalade’ by Christina Aguilera, Missy Elliott, Pink, Mya and Lil’ Kim takes the song back to the top, making Lil’ Kim the first female rapper to appear on a Billboard Hot 100 #1 hit

2003 [19] The European Space Agency’s first voyage to another planet begins, as the ‘Mars Express’ probe is launched from the space center in Kazakhstan

2004 [18] Contestant Ken Jennings begins his record 74-game winning streak on “Jeopardy!”


✓ There are more Lego mini-figures than there are people on Earth.
✓ The producer’s first choice to play the lead role in “Dirty Harry” was Frank Sinatra.
✓ People are typically perceived as more attractive when they tilt their heads.
✓ Snakes can sense a coming earthquake from 75 miles (121km) away, and up to 5 days before it happens.
✓ Baby robins eat 14 feet (4.3m) of earthworms every day.
✓ The bigger an animal’s brain, the longer it will yawn.
-RandomFactGenerator, Parade

Best OF BS . . .

• Sweet Teenager O’ Mine
• Baby Got Back…Problems
• School’s Out For COVID
• Jesse’s Wife
• My Wife Helped Me Find What I was Looking For. It Was in the Pantry.
• Blue Suede Crocs
• The Devil Begged For A Recount In Georgia
• Sixty Candles
• 9-to-5 (But online and available 24-7 if anything comes up)
• Childbirth By The Dashboard Light
-Twitter, first published in BS in 2021

• Do cloned cats have 18 lives?
• Can music pirates get scurvy?
• Is it scientifically possible to keep a pair of sunglasses longer than 3 weeks?
• If you don’t slice the pizza, is it considered 1 piece?
• Do today’s kids build tree condos?
• Do sore thumbs really stick out?
• They say hard work never killed anybody, but did you ever know anyone who rested to death?
• Why is it called ‘after dark’ when it’s really ‘after light’?
• Did Adam & Eve have navels?
• What part of a monkey do you use a monkey wrench on?
-First published in BS in 2011

At least he tried?   https://tinyurl.com/ytrwcejx

I married my wife for her looks, but not the ones she’s giving me lately.

What food do you think people only pretend to like? Caviar? Kale? Tonic water? Marmite? Jell-0 salad?

Question:  In a survey, 2/3 of women said that having one of THESE makes a man “un-dateable”. What is it?
Answer: A ponytail

Never rest until your good is better, and your best is best.


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