June 29 2020

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Monday, June 29, 2020 – Edition: #6729

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There’ll be no “BS” service for Wednesday July 1 to observe the Canada Day holiday. All subscribers will receive credit for the missed service day. The Bull Sheet will resume publication on Thursday, July 2.

★ “The Young and the Restless” was named the year’s outstanding drama series, and “Jeopardy,” “The Ellen DeGeneres” and “The View” also won awards at the 47th annual Daytime Emmy Awards, which were handed out in a virtual ceremony on Friday evening. The broadcast was hosted by Sharon Osbourne, Sheryl Underwood, Carrie Ann Inaba and Marie Osmond from “The Talk.” Overall, “The Young and the Restless” led all shows with eight wins, followed by “The Bold and the Beautiful” and “General Hospital” with four and “The Kelly Clarkson Show,” “Jeopardy!” and “Sesame Street’s 50th Anniversary Celebration” with three each. Alex Trebek was honored with the “Outstanding Game Show Host” award.
★ White actors will no longer be used to voice characters of color on “The Simpsons”. In a brief statement, producers of the show said: “Moving forward, The Simpsons will no longer have white actors voice non-white characters.” The statement did not elaborate, but the move follows years of public pressure about the show’s Indian convenience store character ‘Apu’, who is voiced by Hank Azaria. Earlier this year, Azaria said that he would no longer play the character, which has been criticized as a negative portrayal of South Asian-Americans. Friday’s statement did not say whether Apu or the other characters would remain on the series.
★ Dawn Wells – best-known for playing ‘Mary Ann Summers’ on the iconic show, “Gilligan’s Island” — is now sadly suffering from dementia and needed some court help with an overzealous fan, according to new legal docs. Her manager claims an Ohio man has been harassing the 81-year-old actress with phone calls and letters since March and is trying to take advantage of his celebrity client, who he says suffers from dementia. The judge granted some protection for Wells by barring the man from coming within 100 yards of her.
★ The “Pirates of the Caribbean” are getting ready to set sail in a whole new direction, with Margot Robbie set to star in a new version of one of Disney’s biggest film franchises. Robbie, the star of “Suicide Squad” and “I, Tonya,” will head a female-driven “Pirates” movie, which is now in the early stages of development. It marks the latest bid by Hollywood to re-imagine classic movies by casting women in the lead roles, including the 2016 reboot of “Ghostbusters” starring Melissa McCarthy and 2018 comedy heist “Ocean’s 8” that starred Sandra Bullock and Cate Blanchett.

• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Mark Ruffalo (R)
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Kate Hudson, Alessia Cara (R)
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Sen. Cory Booker, Brian Wilson (R)
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): John Oliver (R)
• ” The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Mayor Muriel Bowser, Brandy Clark (R)
• “Conan” (TBS): Kaley Cuoco (R)
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Jon Stewart
• “The Talk” (CBS): Laverne Cox, Curtis Stone
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Tamron Hall, Dr. Wendy Bazilian
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Best Surprises
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): Billy Porter, Marcia Gay Harden, Wilson Cruz, Gerald Bostock
• “The Bachelor: The Greatest Seasons — Ever!” (ABC): JoJo shares how she handled falling in love with two people; discussing the exploits of Chad; Wells and his fiancée, Sarah Hyland, talk about his rise as a Bachelor Nation favorite; quarantine check-in with Tyler Cameron.
• “The Titan Games” (NBC): Registered nurse Robbie Rodriguez faces Cirque du Soleil performer Wayne Skivington, and mountain guide Lindsey Hamm takes on bank teller Jamara Garrett for a chance to face the reigning Titans on Mt. Olympus.

• Adele – Her first album since 2015 is no longer set to for release in September due to the pandemic. According to her manager, it is still being worked on, and “it’ll be ready when it’s ready.”
• Kanye West – has inked a deal with GAP to sell his popular Yeezy clothing line in their retail stores and website starting next year. He has spoken in the past about his dreams for a partnership with GAP, who he worked for as a teen in Chicago.
• David Bowie — An unreleased live album will be released on Friday. The title “Ouvrez Le Chien (Live Dallas 95)” comes from a French lyric meaning open the dog, which was featured in his 1970 song ‘All The Madmen’, as well as in his 1993 song ‘Buddha of Suburbia’.
• Tom Petty – His original demo version of ‘You Don’t Know How It Feels’ has been released by his family. It will be included in an upcoming extended version of his 1994 “Wildflowers” solo album, set for release this year.
• Blue Öyster Cult – Their first new album since 2001 will be released in October. According to a press release, “The Symbol Remains” will contain 14 songs that sound “like a band looking back at their storied catalog and giving the fans a bit of everything they’ve ever loved about BOC, while simultaneously continuing to evolve.”
• Tenille Townes – released her major label debut, “The Lemonade Stand,” on Friday. The album consists of 12 songs all co-written by Townes. She is also a double-nominee at the 55th ACM Awards, including New Female Artist of the Year.
• Willie Nelson – His 47th annual Fourth of July Picnic will be a virtual event this year, and will feature more than 20 acts, including Willie Nelson & Family, Sheryl Crow, Steve Earle, Asleep at The Wheel, Johnny Bush, Lukas Nelson & Promise of the Real, Lyle Lovett, Margo Price and Ziggy Marley.

NASA is offering $20,000 to anyone who can design a better space toilet for astronauts. As the US prepares to send a manned spacecraft to the moon in 2024, the space agency is hoping to make things a little more comfortable than the space diapers and, uh…poo-bags that were used in the last time humans landed on the lunar surface in 1972. So NASA is crowdsourcing a new toilet design with a “Lunar Loo” contest, asking “hackers,” “makers,” “basement tinkerers,” and “garage mad-scientists” to come up with a toilet that will work for seven days on the surface of the moon, plus during transit time. It must be functional both in the microgravity of space and lunar gravity, which is about one-sixth Earth’s. The toilet must also be usable for all astronauts, regardless of sex. It also must be a maximum of 15kg (33 pounds), about the size of a mini-fridge, and be easy to clean with a “5-minute turnaround time or less between uses.” The deadline to submit designs is August 17. Prizes are $20,000 for first place, $10,000 for second, and $5,000 for third. Oh, yeah…and bonus points will be awarded to designs that can capture vomit without requiring the crew member to put his/her head in the toilet.”
(I, too, am interested in a toilet with that last requirement…)
(I think it’s very generous that they are offering first, second, AND turd prizes…)
(Man! I knew bathroom renos were expensive…!)

If your neighborhood is anything like mine, it seems like EVERY night is fireworks night these days. And while that’s certainly irritating for people, especially those who are trying to sleep in the midst of the “bombs bursting away”, some veterinarians say it could be fatal for our pets. Cats, specifically, are at risk of developing life-threatening urethral obstructions from fear due to the incessant pyrotechnics, according to Dr. Natara Loose of The Neighborhood Vet in Brooklyn. She says that male felines in particular can get especially stressed out by loud noises, affecting their bladders to the point where they are unable to urinate, which eventually becomes fatal. Nervous cats may also stop eating. And dogs? Distressed owners have been asking their vets for sedation and meds because their animals are so anxious, and some dogs are refusing to go for walks. Calls in major cities about illegal fireworks have (ahem!) exploded recently, with some attributing the increase to a reaction of idle and bored people during the pandemic lockdown.
(I know! Why did people think it’s time-appropriate to set off fireworks in the middle of June? My dog was so sacred he almost knocked over the Christmas Tree!)

(***Note: these “new” symptoms may have been on the list for a while without fanfare, based on  a May 13 “What’s New” posting***)
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has added three additional symptoms to its official list of Coronavirus symptoms. The added symptoms for COVID-19 are:
➢ Congestion or runny nose
➢ Nausea, and
➢ Diarrhea.
That brings the total number of symptoms to 11. Here are the others:
➢ Fever/chills
➢ Cough
➢ Shortness of breath or difficulty breathing
➢ Fatigue
➢ Muscle or body aches
➢ Headache
➢ New loss of taste or smell
➢ Sore throat
(One more: Being a Trump campaign rally staff member!)

In the search for life in our solar system, the discussion typically revolves around Mars. But NASA scientists say that Jupiter’s moon Europa could potentially support life. The team created a new model to show the moon is likely to have subsurface oceans under its icy surface and say they can’t rule out its ability to host alien species. NASA planetary scientists Mohit Melwani Daswani said: “Europa is one of our best chances of finding life in our Solar System.” Europa is the sixth-largest moon in the solar system, smaller than the Earth’s moon, but larger than Pluto.
-NYPost, CBC


1944 [76] Gary Busey, Baytown TX, movie actor (“Buddy Holly Story”, “Point Break”, Lethal Weapon”), reality star (“Celebrity Apprentice” 2013, “Dancing With the Stars” 2015)

1967 [53] Melora Hardin, Houston TX, TV actress (‘Jan Levinson’ on the “The Office” 2005-2015)

1968 [52] Judith Hoag, Newburyport MA, TV actress (‘Tandy Hampton’ on “Nashville” 2012-18)

1978 [42] Nicole Scherzinger, Honolulu HI, TV personality (“The X Factor UK” 2016, “The X Factor US” 2011)/pop singer (‘Don’t Hold Your Breath’, Pussycat Dolls-‘Don’t Cha’)

1982 [38] Lily Rabe, NYC, TV actress (“American Horror Story” since 2011, “The Whispers” 2015)

1982 [38] Colin Jost, Staten Island NY, comedian (“Saturday Night Live” since 2005 as writer and actor) COMING UP… “Tom & Jerry”, 2021

1991 [29] Kawhi Leonard, Los Angeles CA, pro basketball forward with the LA Clippers (two-time NBA champion, two-time NBA Finals MVP, four-time All-Star)

1994 [26] Camila Mendes, Charlottesville VA, TV actress (‘Veronica Lodge’ on “Riverdale” since 2016)

• “Please Take My Children to Work Day”, the annual tongue-in-cheek holiday for part-and full-time stay-at-home moms, who are encouraged to take the day off by finding a relative, neighbor, friend, or babysitter to take care of the kid(s).

• “Camera Day”, which has unknown origins but it is always celebrated on June 29th. The day celebrates the camera and its value to society. (Check Instagram for some of these ‘valuable’ contributions … mostly involving cats)

• “Hug Holiday”, which encourages us to give hugs to those who really need them. The focus is on the elderly, sick and lonely, and anyone who needs the warmth, cheer, and love that a hug provides. Be sure to ask first. (If you knew my Aunt Betty, you’d be asking for a holiday FROM hugs today!)

• “Waffle Iron Day”, which celebrates the great kitchen gadget that makes tasty treats. The waffle dates back to the 1300s in Greece, where Greeks cooked flat cakes between two metal pans. At the time, they topped it with cheeses and herbs. (What’s the weirdest waffle ingredient or topping you’ve heard of? For us, it’s turkey stuffing!)

• “Almond Buttercrunch Day”, a combination of toffee covered with chocolate, sprinkled with toasted almonds. (It’s definitely worth a special day to me!)
✓ There are 5,639 people in the U.S. listed on whitepages.com with the last name ‘Almond’.
✓ Chocolate manufacturers use 40% of the world’s almonds.
✓ It takes more than 1.2 million beehives to pollinate California’s Almond crop (over 550,000 acres)

[Tues] Social Media Day
[Tues] International Asteroid Day
[Wed] Canada Day
[Wed] International Joke Day
This Week Is..National Unassisted Homebirth Week
This Month Is…National Peach Month (July)

2003 [17] Movie star Katherine Hepburn, winner of a record 4 Oscars for ‘Best Actress’, dies in Old Saybrook, CT at age 96

2012 [08] After 5 years of marriage, actors Tom Cruise & Katie Holmes announce plans to divorce

2000 [20] The casket holding Lynyrd Skynyrd singer Ronnie Van Zandt is stolen from a mausoleum in Jacksonville FL, then abandoned after vandals are unable to open it

2000 [20] Eminem’s mother goes to court claiming defamation of character in a $10 million civil suit, taking exception to the line “My mother smokes more dope than I do” from Eminem’s single ‘My Name Is’

2007 [13] Apple officially releases the ‘iPhone’ (before this, we weren’t staring at our right hands 18 hours a day)

2008 [12] Thomas Beatie, the world’s first pregnant man, gives birth to a daughter. (He has since given birth two more times)

2013 [07] The world’s dog-friendly communal dining event occurs in Bridgehampton, NY as 224 people are joined by 120 dogs to enjoy mealtime together


✓ Eating spicy foods can cool you down on a hot day.
✓ It’s difficult for the FBI to hire hackers, in part, because of the agency’s rule that applicants must not have used marijuana in the last three years.
✓ Coffee is the second most traded commodity on Earth — after oil.
✓ Right now, you’re looking at your nose, but your brain chooses to ignore it.
✓ If we could harness just 0.1% of the ocean’s tidal kinetic energy, we could meet current global energy demand 5 times over.
✓ There’s a mountain in Australia named Mt. Disappointment because the explorers were unimpressed with the view at the top.
-UberFacts, WowFactsofLife

Best of BS . . .
• You get a note from your boss saying “We need to talk” …. written on your rolling papers.
• You tell the barber what you think about his prices before you get your haircut.
• A black cat crosses your path and drops dead.
• You take an assertiveness training course but you’re afraid to tell your wife.
• Your pacemaker only comes with a 30-day guarantee.
• There’s a sign saying “Back in 10 Minutes” … on the airport control tower.
• The company pays your wages out of petty cash.
• The candles on your birthday cake set off the smoke alarm.
• The pest exterminator crawls under your house … and never comes out.
• Mom calls you by your full name.
-First published in BS in 2015

(Canada Day is on Wednesday…)
• Taming our geese
• Using fewer ‘u’s than our neighbours
• Wearing a pair “aboots”
• Winning the Stanley Cup, apparently
• Shopping at Target
• Sharing maple syrup
• Not apologizing

➠ Major League Baseball has a plan to start the season amidst the coronavirus scare.  (Of course, NO ONE on the Astros or Red Sox ever came close to being infected by COVID-19, since they saw all the signs…)
➠ A Florida pizza parlor was closed down after health officials found an 80 lb Iguana in the freezer. (They’ll get to the bottom of this with the help of an Investa-Gator.)
➠ Last week, it was revealed that Dennis Quaid (66) and Laura Savoie (27) were secretly married. (The couple had an intimate ceremony, which is a nice way of saying that Randy wasn’t invited.)
➠ Scientists are bottling the smells of the Magna Carta, Iliad and Shakespeare, for a whiff of history in the Institute for Digital Archaeology’s “Sensational Books” exhibition. (Who’s behind this . . . Elon Musk?)
➠ People who go online within two hours of bedtime have more stress, scientists say.  (Especially men who can’t remember if they cleared their browser history!)

Sliding into Monday like:  https://tinyurl.com/yb74zfy8

• What was the original flavor of the filling in Twinkies?
a) Cheese
b) Banana Cream [CORRECT]
c) Chocolate
d) Peanut butter

• What food is hummus made from?
a) Chickpeas [CORRECT]
b) Corn
c) Cream cheese
d) Hummingbirds

• What type of nuts do hickory trees produce?
a) Almonds
b) Pecans [CORRRECT]
c) Cashews
d) Coconuts

What’s the nicest thing a stranger has ever done for you?

My teacher accused me of plagiarism. His words, not mine.

Question:  25% of men say they turned into their father when they began doing THIS. What is it?
Answer:  Dancing badly at parties and family gatherings

If you really want to do something, you’ll find a way. If you don’t, you’ll find an excuse.


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