Friday, March 26, 2004        Edition: #2754
Get a Load of This Sheet!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
TONIGHT the special 1-hour series finale of “Sex & the City” airs in Canada on the Bravo channel (gee, wonder what happens?) . . . TOMORROW is the gala premiere of the Jason Patric/ Billy Bob Thornton/Dennis Quaid movie “The Alamo” in San Antonio TX, where over 1,500 guests will witness the longest red carpet of any Hollywood premiere and feast on beef barbeque, stuffed quail, and prickly pear margaritas (movie open APRIL 9) . . . SUNDAY former Van Halen singer David Lee Roth does a cameo on “The Sopranos”, playing in a card game with ‘Tony’ . . . “Us Weekly” reports that Paris Hilton was horsing around in stiletto heels and that may explain why “The Simple Life” star was thrown from her horse and hospitalized . . .  Word has it “American Idol” producers have asked Simon Cowell to refrain from using a provocative pose in which he appeared to give Paul Abdul a ‘one finger salute’ during TUESDAY’s show . . .  Nicole Kidman says she will quit acting within 5 years – and is considering becoming a school teacher in Vietnam . . . Record bosses have reportedly ordered Courtney Love’s handlers to carefully monitor her behavior during the next 2 weeks, fearing she may be a suicide risk as the 10th anniversary of husband Kurt Cobain’s suicide approaches on APRIL 5th (hey, she seems to be acting normal lately) . . . “Scooby-Doo 2″ actress Sarah Michelle Gellar says she’s acquired a taste for eating poisonous blowfish while working in Japan (she’ll next appear in “Eating Nemo”) . . . Supermodel and wannabe singer Tyra Banks has revealed that she and “American Idol” reject William Hung use the same vocal coach (is that something you wanna be admitting?) . . . An upcoming documentary film called “Changed Lives: Miracles of the Passion” will feature interviews with people who say their lives miraculously changed after they watched Mel Gibson’s “The Passion of the Christ” (I couldn’t keep my popcorn down … does that count?).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Fefe Dobson – TONIGHT she’s on “The Tonight Show With Jay Leno”.
• Toby Keith – He leads CMT’s “Flameworthy Video Music Award” nominations with 4.
• 3 Doors Down – They’ll donate all profits from TONIGHT’s concert in Mobile AL to charities.
• Britney Spears – According to “Us Weekly”, when she hasn’t been busy shooting her video for the new single “Everytime” lately, she’s been spending time at Beverly Hills Hotel with actor Colin Farrell.
• Madonna – Her upcoming 3-month world tour will be filmed for a documentary, similar to “Truth or Dare”, the 1991 film that chronicled her “Blonde Ambition” tour.
• Rolling Stones – A posting on their Website suggests they may be working on their first studio album since “Bridges To Babylon” in 1997.
• Christina Aguilera – Her people are now saying published reports that she’s engaged are totally untrue.
• Clay Aiken – He’s the musical guest on “Saturday Night Live” TOMORROW.

TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
• “Jersey Girl” (Romantic Comedy) – Ben Affleck plays a music publicist who suddenly finds himself an out-of-work single dad forced to move in with his father (George Carlin). Things start to look up when he meets a flirtatious grad student (Liv Tyler) and her precocious daughter. In an attempt to beat the “Gigli” curse, they’ve done everything they can to downplay Jennifer Lopez’s minor role as Ben’s wife who dies early in the film, leaving her out the trailer and marketing campaign. Director Kevin Smith has even jokingly offered a ‘money-back guarantee’.
The Will Smith cameo in the film was originally written for Bruce Willis but he didn’t get it – because he didn’t return phone calls.
• “The Ladykillers” (Crime Comedy) – This Coen Bros remake of the 1955 Peter Sellers-Alec Guinness comedy revolves around a Southern professor (Tom Hanks) who puts together a group of thieves to rob a casino. They rent a room in an old woman’s house who discovers the plot and they decide to kill her, a task that proves more difficult than it seems. This is the first Coen brothers film where Joel & Ethan Coen are both given directing and producing credits. They have shared these duties on all of their films, but Joel has always been listed as director and Ethan as producer.
• “Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed” (Family Comedy) – Freddie Prinze Jr & Sarah Michelle Gellar return for this sequel in which ‘The Gang’ investigates the dastardly plans of a masked villain who intends to take control of ‘Coolsville’ by tampering with the ‘Monster Machine’. After co-starring in 5 films, Sarah Michelle Gellar has vowed never to work with hubby Freddie Prinze Jr again because combining their home and work lives is just too difficult.
• “Never Die Alone” (Crime Drama) – Rapper DMX produced and stars as a criminal named ‘King David’ who is shot dead when he returns to his hometown. His final moments are spent with a wannabe journalist (David Arquette) who finds the King has recorded his life story on tape.
• “Dogville” (Limited Release Drama) – The residents of a small Colorado community agree to hide a woman on the run from the mob (Nicole Kidman) if she in turn agrees to work for them. However, when a search sets in, the people of ‘Dogville’ demand a better deal for harboring the fugitive. The film was shot exclusively in-studio with a minimum of props to put the emphasis on acting.

STING RAYS:
Researchers at Australia’s University of Sydney have found that ‘UVA’ rays, which age the skin but do not burn, can cause DNA damage. The study disproves the conventional view that only ‘UVB’ rays pose any skin cancer risk. Bottom line –  next time you buy a sunscreen, be sure to check that it offers protection against both UVA and UVB rays.
– BBC News

HAVE A NICE COMMUTE:
A survey of 2,000 young drivers reveals the dangerous things some people do behind-the-wheel …
70% have used a cellphone while driving
50% have sent text messages.
40% have eaten a burger.
25% have smoked a joint.
20% have had sex.
(Nobody admitted to doing all of these at once.)
– “Max Power”

ALL-YOU-CAN-EAT SALAD BAR:
A Belgian man has been fined $1000 and had his driver’s license suspended 45 days after
witnesses saw him crawl out of his car and into a field. When police arrived, he was on his hands and knees, grunting like a pig and munching grass. A test revealed his blood alcohol level was waaaay over the limit. The judge wasn’t impressed by his defense – “I like eating grass, especially when I’m drunk. It tastes like spinach.”
– Ananova

WHY WE LAUGH:
A Vanderbilt University study has found that men laugh more around male friends than female pals. What’s interesting is, the same is true of women – they laugh more around men than women. Why would that be? Psychologist Jo-Anne Bachorowski says women who laugh around men are viewed as more attractive. On the other hand, men generally laugh more with men so they’ll be seen as friend, not a foe.
– “Scientific American”

PASSIONATELY OPPOSED:
Add the Archbishop of Canterbury to the list of people upset with Mel Gibson over “The Passion of the Christ”. The head of the Anglican Church says there is a tradition of the faithful bringing nails to church THIS SUNDAY, which is ‘Passion Sunday’. He says that the film’s Website selling crucifixion-nail pendants for $16.99 is ‘shameful’ and amounts to nothing more ‘cheap and shoddy merchandising’.
– “NY Daily News”

BAD BOYS ‘N BEERS:
A Cornell University study has revealed that an extra beer or glass of wine during a workday lunch or happy hour can be harmful. The researchers found that as alcohol consumption in and around the workplace increases, the risk of harassment of women by their male co-workers also rises. (Wow … surprised?)
– ANI

DID YOU KNOW?
The percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28%
The percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38%

THE BULL SHEET 03.26.2K4

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1940 [64] James Caan, Bronx NY, TV actor (‘Big Ed Deline’ on “Las Vegas”)/movie actor (“Dogville”, “Elf”, “The Godfather”)

1944 [60] Diana Ross, Detroit MI, former Motown singer (“Endless Love”, Supremes-“Where Did Our Love Go”) arrested December 30, 2002 for DUI//Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (1988)

1948 [56] Steve Tyler (Tallarico), Boston MA, rock singer (Aerosmith-“Girls of Summer”, I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing”)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (2001)/actress Liv Tyler’s pop  FACTOID:  Aerosmith will release a blues album, “Honkin’ On Bobo”, MARCH 30th.

1950 [54] Martin Short, Hamilton ON, movie actor (“Father Of The Bride I & II”)/TV comedian (“Primetime Glick”, ’Ed Grimley’ on “SCTV, “SNL”)

1957 [47] Leeza Gibbons, Hartsville SC, internationally syndicated radio host (“Hollywood Confidential”)/TV entertainment anchor (“Extra!” 2000-02, “Entertainment Tonight” 1984-95)

1968 [36] Kenny Chesney, Knoxville TN, country singer (f/Uncle Kracker-“When The Sun Goes Down”, “The Good Stuff”)

1976 [28] Amy Smart, Topanga Canyon CA, movie actress (“Starsky & Hutch”, “The Butterfly Effect”, “Win a Date with Tad Hamilton!”)

1985 [19] Keira Knightley, Teddington UK, movie actress (“Love Actually”, “Pirates of the Caribbean”, “Bend It Like Beckham”)  COMING UP: “King Arthur “ and “Pirates of the Caribbean 2″ (2005).

SATURDAY’S BIRTHDAYS . . .
1963 [41] Quentin Tarantino, Knoxville TN, film producer/writer/director (“Jackie Brown”, Oscar-“Pulp Fiction”, “Reservoir Dogs”)  UP NEXT: “Kill Bill: Volume 2″, starring Uma Thurman, opening APRIL 16th.

1970 [34] Mariah Carey, Huntington NY, pop singer (“Thank God I Found You”, “Heartbreaker”) who’s sold more than 120 million albums & singles and spent more weeks at #1 than any other artist/bad movie actress (“Glitter”)

1975 [29] Fergie (Stacy Ferguson), Hacienda Heights CA, R&B/pop singer (Black Eyed Peas-“Hey Mama”, “Shut Up”, “Where Is the Love?”)  FACTOID: Her first break came as the voice of ‘Sally’ in several “Charlie Brown & Snoopy” TV specials.

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
TODAY is “Make Up Your Own Holiday Day”. What ingredients make for a good holiday – Special foods? Parades? Costumes? Fireworks? Religious obligations? A day off from the sweatbox?

TODAY is “No Homework Day”. C’mon, be a good sport, teach!

TODAY is “Legal Assistants Day”, honoring all those who help lawyers with their briefs.

TOMORROW is “National Joe Day”, honoring all the ‘good Joes’ of the world. Who should be in the ‘Joe Hall of Fame’ if there was such a thing? Joe DiMaggio? Joe Walsh? Joe Louis? Joe Gibbs? Joe Diffie? Joe Clark? Joe Montana? GI Joe? Joe Boxer? Average Joe?

THIS WEEKEND is the “Rattlesnake Hunt” at Waurika OK, an annual roundup to aid ranchers against rattlesnakes. It draws 20 thousand visitors who either join in the hunt or just watch it.
PHONER: 580.228.2553

THIS WEEKEND is the annual the “Pororoca Surfing Competition” on the Amazon River near Macapa, Brazil. The ‘Pororoca’ phenomenon happens when rain and a full Moon cause a high tide where the Amazon empties into the Atlantic which forces its power upriver, creating a monster wave up to 2-miles-wide (3 km) that crashes along at speeds up to 20 mph (30 km/hr). ‘Pororoca’ means ‘great roar’ in the local Tupi-Guarani language. 43-year-old Brazilian Picuruta Salazar will attempt to best his own record for ‘longest ride’ set LAST YEAR when he surfed the big wave for almost 8 miles (12.5 km), a ride that lasted 37 minutes. Surf’s up … waaaaay up!

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1872 [132] 1st ‘fire extinguisher’

1956 [48] 1st ‘Medic Alert’ bracelet

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1996 [08] Orlando Magic’s NBA-record 40-game ‘home win streak’ finally ends vs LA Lakers

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Sat] Photography Day
[Sat] Quirky Country Music Song Titles Day
[Sun] International Day of the Seal
[Sun] ‘Summer Time’ begins in Europe
[Sun] Something On a Stick Day
[Mon] Mom & Pop Business Owners Day
This Week Is . . . Week of Solidarity with People Struggling Against Racism & Racial Discrimination
This Month Is . . . International Ideas Month / Umbrella Month

BULL’S BITS . . .
YOUR PERSONALITY ACCORDING TO YOUR FRIDGE MAGNETS:
• Bird or butterfly magnets mean you’re generous and freedom-loving.
• Teddy bear and other animal magnets suggest that you like hugging.
• Fried egg magnets say you’re intellectual, with a good sense of humor.
• Marilyn Monroe, Elvis or Mickey Mouse magnets say that you’re stuck in the past.
• Computer-themed magnets mean that you think you are trendy.
• Free fridge magnets from advertisers show that you’re tight-fisted and thrifty.
(Ask listeners what’s stuck on their fridge, then do a free ‘personality reading’.)

BS CHEAP MOTEL SLOGANS:
• “Because you deserve better than the back seat of some car.”
• “If we’d known you were staying all night, we’d have changed the sheets.”
• “You rented the room, now buy the video.”
• “As seen on ‘Cops’.”
• “Not just for nooners anymore.”
• “We put the ‘Ho’ in ‘Hotel’.”     

BS Q &A:
Q: Daytime TV drama “The Young & the Restless” debuted 31 years ago TODAY (1973) on CBS-TV. In what city does it take place?
A: Genoa City, Wisconsin.
– “TV Tome”

BS BLATANT JOKES:
• Ah, a fresh new day! The mistakes are all waiting to be made.
• Wow, Courtney Love has gone 43 hours without being arrested!
• Donald Trump is trying to trademark the phrase “You’re fired.” Bobby Brown is trying to trademark the phrase, “Not guilty, your honor.” – Craig Kilborn

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: A recent survey of wives picked THIS as the most annoying thing husbands do.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Leaving dirty dishes in the kitchen sink.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.