Wednesday, March 10, 2004        Edition: #2742
Sheet Rocks!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
Oscar-winner and native South African Charlize Theron has a new gemstone named in her honor, a form of amazonite discovered in Mozambique that will be known as ‘Star of Charlize’ . . . An album by “American Idol” reject William Hung coming APRIL 6th will include his mega-hit “She Bangs”, plus Hung versions of Ricky Martin’s “Shake Your Bon-Bon” and Elton John’s “Rocket Man” . . . OJ Simpson is accused of another crime – stealing satellite signals using illegal devices in his Miami home, for which DirecTV is seeking $20,000 in damages plus legal costs . . .  Martha Stewart’s people have confirmed she’s planning to write a book of memoirs (hey, she’ll soon have lots of time) . . . Disney is getting complaints that the new Viggo Mortensen movie “Hidalgo” presents unfair stereotypes of Muslims and Arabs (not to mention horses) . . . Buzz has it Enrique Iglesias recently spotted Lionel Richie in a restaurant and went over to introduce himself, but Lionel didn’t recognize him and scrawled an autograph on a napkin – so embarrassed Enrique took the napkin and quietly slipped back to his own table . . . And in a rare show of reserve, 27-year-old movie wildman actor Colin Farrell has turned down a date offer from “Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen” star Lindsay Lohan when he found out she’s just 17, instead suggesting they get together ‘maybe in a year or so’.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Beyoncé – She’s in talks to star opposite Steve Martin in the new movie version of “The Pink Panther” in the role of a jewel thief.
• Seal – He seems to be singing “Love’s Divine” with 30-year-old pregnant supermodel Heidi Klum lately. She’s on the rebound from a relationship that soured with Italian race car tycoon Flavio Briatore.
• Randy Travis – Survived an accident in his tour bus in Pennsylvania on the weekend, suffering only bumps and bruises.
• Christina Aguilera – Will begin a 29-city tour MAY 13th in Seattle, featuring guest star Chingy.
• Sting – Kicks off his ‘Sacred Love’ tour JUNE 27th in Philadelphia, featuring Oscar-winner Annie Lennox.
• Gwen Stefani – Panicky about her bigscreen debut, she says she got acting tips from Leonardo DiCaprio, her co-star in the upcoming Martin Scorsese’s film “The Aviator”.
• Nickelback – As part of pre-“Juno Awards” festivities, they’ll coach a team of musicians including Sam Roberts, Aaron Lines, Our Lady Peace’s Jeremy Taggart, and Barenaked Ladies’ Tyler Stewart in a charity hockey game vs an NHL alumni team APRIL 2nd in Edmonton.

BS BUZZWORDS:
• ‘Offshorable’ – A job that’s capable of being performed by a person in another country … at a lower wage. (“All our tech support jobs are offshorable. We can have people in India keep our customers on hold much cheaper.”)
• ‘Broccoflower’ – A cross between broccoli and cauliflower that can range in color from lime-green to yellow-green to purple. Usually smaller, lighter, and less crisp and dense than white cauliflower. Most importantly, it’s also less expensive. (“But mom, I don’t like broccoli!” “It isn’t broccoli.” “But mom, I don’t like cauliflower!” “It isn’t cauliflower.”)
• ‘Tunnel Ads’ – Advertising on a series of illuminated screens in subway tunnels, each showing one image from a sequence, thereby creating an animation effect as the train goes by. Now being tested in Atlanta, NYC, Athens and Seoul. (Until it causes an epidemic of epileptic seizures.)

YOU’VE GOT SPAM!
There’s a restaurant in the Philippines that specializes – in Spam. Located in an upscale shopping mall in a financial district, ’Spamjam’ has been a rousing success ever since opening in DECEMBER. The menu includes a Spam sandwich, Spam club sandwich, Spam spaghetti, Spam macaroni, Spam potato chowder, bean soup with Spam, Spam Caesar salad, Spam poppers, and Spam meals with rice for the Filipino palate. (I won’t eat the stuff, but every time I look at it I wonder – just which part of a pig is square?)
– ABC News Online

FEELING UP:
A new study at the University of Alberta has found that the combination of congestive heart failure and erectile dysfunction can often cause depression (gee, what a surprise!). Fortunately, it seems that Viagra helps to improve all three disorders. The first study to ever investigate the relationship between erectile dysfunction (ED) and depression finds that Viagra not only seems to be safe, but also makes patients happier in all aspects of their lives.
– ANI

IT’S ALL IN YOUR HEAD:
Viagra-maker Pfizer has ended research that attempted to treat female sexual problems with its mega-popular anti-impotency drug. After studying some 3,000 women since 1996, researchers have finally concluded that women achieve the most sexual satisfaction through stimulation of – their brains.
– “The Independent“

CITIES THAT ROCK:
Best US cities for head-banging, based on the quality of their music scenes, stores and concert venues …
1. Pittsburgh
2. Denver
3. Minneapolis
4. Raleigh NC
5. Gainesville FL
– “Esquire” magazine, April 2004.

BOING BOING:
Eccentric Australian Steven Whitmore, who describes himself as an inventor and artist, thinks he’s come up with the next big thing – being strapped inside a huge plastic ball and then pushed out of an airplane. The days of bungee jumping will be over, he claims, when people catch on to his ‘Amazing Flying Ball’. While he’ll soon exhibit his plans for the flying ball in an art gallery, he admits the idea still needs a lot of research and development. (And a real sucker to be first to try it out!)
– “The Tasmanian”

NHL FEVER:
Yale School of Medicine researchers have found that consuming foods high in animal protein, saturated fat, eggs and dairy products, as required by the popular Atkin’s Diet, leads to an increased risk of developing ‘Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma’ (NHL), a cancer that attacks the lymphatic system. The good news is, supplementing your diet with plenty of fruits and vegetables seems to help. The antioxidants they contain reduce the risk of NHL by about 40%. (In related news, there’s a 100% risk of NHL on my widescreen TV Saturday night.)
– “American Journal of Epidemiology“

WHY YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL:
Biological reasons we consider certain characteristics attractive …
• A high ‘hip-to-waist ratio’ is attractive because it mimics the shape of an uninhabited womb.
• Tiny chins are attractive because they mimic the proportions of a baby’s face.
• Clear skin is attractive because we subconsciously consider it parasite-free.
– “The Survival of the Prettiest: The Science of Beauty”

AND WE QUOTE:
“I’ve taken too many drugs and slept with too many women.” – Actor Kevin Costner on why he can’t run for political office, even though he’d like to. (Funny, hasn’t stopped other politicians.)

BS AMAZING FACT:
You need at least a 30-minute walk each day if you hope to maintain or lose weight without dieting.
– “American Journal of Public Health”

THE BULL SHEET 03.10.2K4

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1947 [57] Kim (Avril Phaedra) Campbell, Port Alberni BC, briefly 1st female Canadian PM (June-October 1993)/later served as Canadian consul in Los Angeles

1947 [57] Tom Scholz, Toldeo OH, classic rock guitarist (Boston-“Don’t Look Back”, “More Than A Feeling”)

1957 [47] Osama Bin Laden, Riyadh, Saudi Arabia, Al-Qa’ida founder/world’s most wanted man  
1958 [46] Sharon Stone, Meadville PA, movie actress (“Cold Creek Manor”, “Basic Instinct”)  UP NEXT: Appears in “Catwoman” starring Halle Berry, opening JULY 30th.

1963 [41] Jeff Ament, Havre MT, rock bassist (Pearl Jam-“Last Kiss”, “Jeremy”)

1964 [40] Prince Edward (Edward Antony Richard Louis Windsor), London UK, QEII’s #3 son/Earl of Wessex & Viscount Severn/Mr Sophie Rhys-Jones

1966 [38] Edie Brickell, Oak Cliff TX, pop singer (“What I Am”, “Love Like We Do”)/Mrs Paul Simon since 1992

1971 [33] Daryle Singletary, Cairo GA, country singer (“Amen Kind Of Love”, “The Used To Bes”)

1971 [33] Timbaland (Timothy Mosley), Norfolk VA, rapper/producer (Missy Elliott-“Get Ur Freak On”, Aaliyah-“Try Again”, Justin Timberlake-“Cry Me a River”)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
TODAY is “Mario Day”, saluting anyone with that name because the abbreviated date (MAR-10) sort of spells ‘Mario’.

TODAY is “Salvation Army Day”, the anniversary of its establishment in the USA on this day in 1880. The Sally Ann was founded by William Booth in London in 1865, then came to NYC to provide food, shelter and clothing to needy Americans.

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1997 [07] Howard Stern’s “Private Parts” debuts #1 at the movie box office

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1998 [06] Natalie Imbruglia releases “Left Of The Middle” album featuring her mega-hit “Torn”

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1842 [162] Queen’s University founded in Kingston ON (home of the ‘Golden Gaels’)

1876 [128] 1st ‘telephone call’ as Alexander Graham Bell says to Thomas Watson in next room: “Mr  Watson, come here. I want you.” (setting off all kinds of rumors)

1941 [63] 1st ‘batting helmets’ used by pro baseball players (Brooklyn Dodgers)

1967 [37] 1st ‘octuplets’ born, in Mexico (named ‘Uno’, ‘Dos’, ‘Tres’ …)

1975 [29] 1st ‘dog spectacles’ patented (UK)

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Thurs] Worship of Tools Day
[Fri] “Agent Cody Banks 2″ & “The Girl Next Door” open in movie theaters
[Fri] Middle Name Pride Day
[Sat] Genealogy Day
[Mon] 19th Rock & Roll Hall of Fame Induction (NYC)
This Week Is . . . Save Your Vision Week / Read an E-Book Week
This Month Is . . . Caffeine Awareness Month / Prepare Your Home To Be Sold Month

BULL’S BITS . . .
MORE BS QUESTIONS PLAGUING HUMANITY:
• What time is it on the International Space Station? It stays in orbit, so wouldn’t it be the same hour every hour?
• When they first invented the clock, how did they know what time it was so they could set it?
• Did ‘Sleeping Beauty’ have morning breath?
• Do people in Australia call the rest of the world ‘up over’?
• If a mirror reverses right and left, why doesn’t it reverse up and down?
• If time heals all wounds, how come belly buttons don’t fill in?

TOP SWAPS:
The week’s most requested music files online …
1. Britney Spears – “Toxic”
2. Chingy – “One Call Away”
3. Eamon – “F**k It”
4. OutKast – “Hey Ya”
5. 3 Doors Down – “Here Without You”
– BigChampagne

BUZZ INDEX:
The week’s top Internet searches …
1. Britney Spears (finally has a hit again)
2. “The Passion of the Christ” (people searching to find out how it ends?)
3. Usher (set to drop “Confessions” on MARCH 23rd)
– Yahoo!

BS BLATANT JOKES:
• So I’m at the dentist and he says, “Say Aaah.” I say, “Why?” He says, “My dog died.”
• Doctors say be careful of these low-carb diets because you need carbohydrates to create a chemical in your brain that cheers you up and fights depression. So the next time you see someone on a bridge about to jump … throw ‘em a potato.
• So I say to my wife, “You know, I was an idiot when I married you.” And she says, “Yeah I know, but I was in love and didn’t notice.”
• I went to Japan once. The only English words I saw there were Sony and Mitsubishi.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: About 79% of men say they would consult their wife before doing THIS.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Buying a bigscreen TV.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
It’s amazing what you can accomplish with a little hard work and a lot of whining.