Tuesday, March 21, 2000 Edition: #1768
BS QUESTIONS PLAGUING HUMANITY:
• When you open a bag of cotton balls, is the top one meant to be thrown away?
• Why is it called ‘lipstick’ if you can still move your lips?
• Why would you need an appointment to see a psychic?
• How can a women’s prison be called a ‘penal colony’?
• Can you get cavities in your dentures if you use too much ‘artificial sweetener’?
• Why is the person who invests all your money called a ‘broker’?
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
Today the World Wrestling Federation releases the first of what’s expected to be a series of hip-hop CDs called “WWF Aggression”, featuring rappers like Run-DMC, Snoop Dogg, and Ice-T (“I gots the belt and the ladies and y’know I ain’t humble, so get your ass in the ring and let’s get ready to RUMBLLEE!!!!”) . . . Burt Reynolds will play the head coach of a pro football team in the pilot TV show “Dakota Dogs” which may or may not make it to the fall schedule (it has about the same chances as a pro football franchise in Fargo) . . . And from the unsubstantiated rumor mill comes this piece of fluff — Britney Spears has ‘moved in’ with ‘N Sync’s Justin Timberlake (as if they’ve been in the same city at the same time once in the past year).
TODAY’S VIDEO RELEASES:
The video/DVD release of “Pokemon: The First Movie” is being hyped with a contest where 5 winners who find a “Golden Ticket” in their VHS tape get a trip to Japan to meet the creator of ‘Pokemon’ cards and a $1,000 shopping spree at the ‘Pokemon Center’ (please God, may my kid not win) . . . Other video releases include: the tear-jerker “Here on Earth” about a prep school boy who falls in love with a dying girl, the Chinese gang flick “Romeo Must Die” starring Jet Li, and the teen comedy “Whatever It Takes” about the antics boys will do to get the girl of their dreams.
“BILLBOARD” TOP VIDEO RENTALS:
1. “American Pie”
2. “Stir of Echoes”
3. “Blue Streak”
ONLY IN CANADA:
• A study in this week’s “Maclean’s” predicts Canada’s fastest growing cities over the next decade will be Vancouver (up 28%), Calgary (23%), Toronto (20%), and Halifax (18%). (The population of Melfort SK is expected to decrease by 83% if Rudy Yips gets that job in Saskatoon and moves his family of 7.)
• One of the judges of the upcoming “Miss Alberta” pageant is 51-year-old Harold Grace of Edmonton – who is BLIND. (He’ll vote based on his ‘feelings’.)
• The Ontario Federation of Anglers & Hunters is being criticized for distributing free copies of its “Hunter’s Guide” to secondary schools across the province. (Comes with a tear-out target to attach to your ‘favorite’ teacher!)
WE NEED THIS HERE!
Belgium, the acknowledged home of some of the world’s worst drivers, is banning the use of hand-held mobile phones while driving. Belgian drivers will now have to use headphones or a ‘hands-free’ phone system. (Or the innovative new method called “Shut up and drive, moron!!)
THE BULL SHEET 03.21.00
TODAY’S CELEBRITY BIRTHDAYS . . .
1946 [54] Timothy Dalton, Colwyn Bay WALES, film actor (former James Bond-The Living Daylights, License to Kill)
1950 [50] Roger Hodgson, Portsmouth ENG, classic rock musician (Supertramp-Give a Little Bit)
1962 [38] Matthew Broderick, NYC, film actor (Inspector Gadget, Godzilla)/Broadway actor (Tony Award-How to Succeed at Business Without Really Trying)
1962 [38] Rosie O’Donnell, Commack NY, TV talk show host (The Rosie O’Donnell Show, since 1996)/movie actress (A League of Their Own, The Flintstones)
1967 [33] Troy Westwood, CFL kicker (Winnipeg Blue Bombers)
1972 [28] Frank West, CFL defensive back (‘99 Grey Cup-Hamilton Tiger Cats)
BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
Today is “UN International Day for Elimination of Discrimination”. The top 10 winning videos in the “Stop Racism National Video Competition” will air on MuchMusic.
NET: http://www.march21.com/
The Association for Astrological Networking (AFAN) has declared today “International Astrology Day”, a day to educate us about ‘serious’ astrology. (Today’s horoscope says: “You will meet a complete stranger with a gorgeous face, beautiful body, and a large beach house in Maui. This person will seduce your significant other. Have a nice day.”)
Today is “Single Parents Day”, when solo caregivers will likely celebrate with another evening at home with the kids ‘cause they can’t find a damn ‘sitter!
ON THIS DAY IN THE ’90S . . .
1992 Vanessa Williams’ “Save The Best For Last” hits #1 on pop charts and stays 5 weeks
1994 Wayne Gretzky ties Gordie Howe’s NHL record of 801 goals
1999 “Shakespeare in Love” picks up 7 Oscars at 71st Annual Academy Awards including ‘Best Picture’ and ‘Best Actress’ (Gwyneth Paltrow), while Roberto Benigni wins ‘Best Actor’ for “Life is Beautiful” (“Bella, bella!!!!”)
TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1952 [48] 25,000 attend 1st-ever ‘rock ‘n roll concert’ (DJ Alan Freed-Cleveland Arena)
1961 [39] The Beatles’ 1st appearance at the Cavern Club (Pete Best on drums)
1980 [20] 1st primetime TV ‘cliffhanger’ (‘JR’ is shot on “Dallas”)
AND REMEMBER . . .
[Today] Sign of Aries (the Ram) begins
[Wed] As Young As You Feel Day
[Thurs] World Meteorological Day
Anonymous Giving Week
National Women’s History Month
BULL’S BITS . . .
Q: Who was our 1st Canadian-born Prime Minister – Louis St Laurent, John Abbot, or Vincent Massey?
A: Sir John Abbott, born in St Andrews, Quebec 179 years ago today (1821).
THE LAST WORD:
The only time a woman wishes that she were a year older is when she is expecting a baby.
