Friday, March 15, 2019– Edition: #6414
It’s Your Daily Constitutional Sheet!
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Hugh Jackman will return to Broadway to star in the 2020 revival of “The Music Man.” Jackman, who played ‘Wolverine’ in the “X-Men” films and starred in the 2012 big screen adaptation of “Les Misérables,” won a Tony Award for the 2003 play “The Boy From Oz.” He was also the centerpiece of 2017 musical movie “The Greatest Showman,” portraying P.T. Barnum. Performances are slated to begin on Sept. 9, 2020.
-TheWrap
★ Jay Leno has spoken out about how he thinks late-night TV has changed since he hosted “The Tonight Show”. When asked if he missed his old gig, Leno said: “I don’t miss it. You know, everything now… everyone has to know your politics. Now people just want to be on the news all the time, you just have one subject, one topic every night. It makes it very hard. All the comics – Jimmy, Colbert, everybody else – it’s tough when that’s the only topic out there.”
-MSN
★ While the cast of “Beverly Hills, 90210” mourns the loss of Luke Perry, financially challenged Tori Spelling is griping about her salary on the reboot. A source says: “She thought she’d be raking it in like they did in the ’90s. She’s getting a fraction of that…She’s only done reality TV in recent years, she’s older and her reputation isn’t the best.”
-Canoe
★ Natalie Portman is hosting an online acting course. The “Black Swan” star has teamed up with online-education provider Masterclass to share her “Joyful experience.” She wrote: ” You should be free to be creative, try new things and make mistakes. That is how I learned. In this class, I’m excited to share what I’ve pieced together over 25 years as an actress – things that have worked for me, things that I’ve seen work well for others, and tips I created to help myself.”
-ContactMusic
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Brie Larson, Ben McKenzie, Tierra Whack (R)
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Ice-T, Russell Wilson, Ozuna
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Heidi Schreck
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Anne Hathaway, Sen. Sherrod Brown, Michaela Coel, Venzella Joy (R)
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Alicia Keys, Hailey Bieber, Joe List (R)
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Gov. Gavin Newsom
• “The Talk” (CBS): Vicki Lawrence, Brandon Micheal Hall
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Oscar Isaac, Winston Duke, Stephanie J. Block
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Max Greenfield, David Gray, Jason Sudeikis, the Crazy 8s
SATURDAY-
• “One Night for One Drop: Imagined by Cirque du Soleil” (CBS): A Cirque du Soleil performance to raise awareness of global water issues and ONE DROP.
• “Flip That Romance” (HALLMARK): As spring blooms, two rival house flippers find themselves renovating dual sides of a duplex. As they attempt to out-do each other every step of the way, the stakes escalate.
• “Trading Spaces” (TLC): It’s a blast from the past as Trading Spaces designs two rooms inspired by fun decades. Host Paige Davis.
SUNDAY-
• “American Idol” (ABC): Auditions continue in Los Angeles; Louisville; New York; and Coeur d’Alene, Idaho.
• “Billions” (SHOWTIME): Season 4 begins with Axe closing ranks, determined to destroy Taylor. No longer U.S. Attorney, Chuck struggles to regain power.
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Ed Sheeran — has named his pub after his wife. Above the door of his bar in the grounds of his Suffolk estate, he’s reportedly erected a 15ft sign reading “The Lancaster Lock – in honour of Cherry Lancaster Seaborn”
• Selena Gomez – says she is “nervous” about dropping her upcoming album after such a long gap since her last release. She has been working on it for more than two years, and told fans in an Instagram video that she’s feeling the pressure to make all the right decisions. She promised the record is coming “very soon.”
• Genesis — Mike Rutherford says a reunion could happen because Phil Collins is ”in good shape”. Appearing on ‘Good Morning Britain’, Rutherford said, “We’re all fit and healthy and we get on well, so who knows?”
• Bob Seger — Following news of four consecutive sell-outs, he has added a final pair of shows in his hometown of Detroit to his farewell tour. He’ll play DTE Energy Music Theatre on June 19 and 21.
• WHAM! — Andrew Ridgeley will publish a memoir about his experiences as a member of the duo alongside the late George Michael. “Wham! George & Me” will be released Oct. 3.
• Def Leppard — Queen guitarist Brian May has been confirmed as the presenter who’ll induct them into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame on March 29. Harry Styles has been named as Stevie Nicks’ presenter. David Byrne will induct Radiohead, Duran Duran’s Simon Le Bon and John Taylor for Roxy Music, Trent Reznor for the Cure, Susanna Hoffs for the Zombies and Janelle Monae for Janet Jackson.
• Jake Owen – will make his acting debut in the upcoming feature film “The Friend”. It will star Jason Segel, Dakota Johnson and Casey Affleck. No word yet on Owen’s role or a release date.
• Trisha Yearwood — celebrated her 20th anniversary as a member of the Grand Ole Opry on Tuesday by inviting several special guests to share her big night. She dueted with Ricky Skaggs before the Opry presented a series of video tributes from artists such as Kelly Clarkson, Reba McEntire and Brenda Lee. Her husband Garth Brooks also made a surprise appearance.
TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
• “Captive State” (PG-13, Drama/Mystery): In a Chicago neighborhood nearly a decade after an occupation by an extra-terrestrial force, the lives on both sides of the conflict – the collaborators and dissidents – are explored. (John Goodman, Ashton Sanders)
• “Wonder Park” (PG, Animation/Kids): The story of a magnificent amusement park where the imagination of a wildly creative girl named June comes alive. (Sofia Mali, Jennifer Garner)
• “Five Feet Apart” (PG-13, Drama/Romance): A pair of teenagers with life-threatening illnesses meet in a hospital and fall in love. (Haley Lu Richardson, Cole Sprouse)
• “Nancy Drew and the Hidden Staircase” (PG, Drama/Kids): Struggling to fit into her new surroundings, Nancy and her pals set out to solve a mystery, make new friends, and establish their place in the community. (Sophia Lillis, Sam Trammell)
• “The Aftermath” (R-Rated, Drama): Post World War II, a British colonel and his wife are assigned to live in Hamburg during the post-war reconstruction, but tensions arise with the German who previously owned the house. (Keira Knightley, Ned Wills)
FORWARD TO THE PAST:
An international team of scientists claims to have reversed time. With the use of a quantum computer, they say that they were able to turn back time in an experiment which has been compared to causing a broken rack of pool balls to roll back into place. The way they explain it, the experiment used electrons and quantum mechanics to ‘rewind’ scattered quantum bits or ‘qubits’ back to their starting points. Researchers from the Moscow Institute of Physics and Technology, helped by colleagues in Switzerland and the U.S., say that their findings “break ground for investigations of time reversal and…backward time flow.”
(I know. I was just reading about that tomorrow…)
(And they don’t seem to see any danger it all of this…)
(Big deal…Sam Elliott (or Cher) has been doing that for years!)
-CTV
NEWS OF THE WEIRD:
➢ An airplane made a U-turn for a frantic passenger who realized that she forgot her baby back at the airport. The pilot of Saudi Arabian Airlines Flight SV832 made the rare request to air traffic controllers shortly after it left, when the passenger told crew members that she had left her child at the terminal. Online video shows the pilot asking air traffic controllers, “Can we come back?” One of the air traffic controllers is heard saying, “OK, head back to the gate. This is totally a new one for us.” The flight ultimately was permitted to return to the airport.
(Do you think she checked the overhead bins before she spoke up?)
-NYPost
➢ Slovenian authorities say a 21-year-old woman used a power saw to cut off her hand — to collect insurance money. The woman, who wasn’t identified, claimed she was cutting tree branches when she severed her left hand just above the wrist. Officials say family members left the hand behind rather than bring it to the hospital — to make sure the disability was permanent. Doctors, however, recovered it — and reattached the hand. The family allegedly had policies with five different insurance companies.
(Caught red-handed!)
-AP
➢ The daughter of an Alabama woman whose cremated remains were lost by a funeral home has been awarded $12 million. The Pine Crest Funeral Home in Mobile lost the remains of Shelley Hood’s mother, Cecille Gardner. Although her mother died in 2011, court documents show that Hood first inquired about the remains in 2015 and was repeatedly told by management that they would be found. In 2016, the company’s general manager told Hood that the remains hadn’t been located and no record existed of their whereabouts.
(You’ve heard of people saying that they’re “worth more dead than alive? This.)
-WPTV
DID YOU KNOW?
A recent survey found only 53% of married Canadians remember the song played for the first dance at their wedding.
-SOCAN
BS CHRONOMETER 03.15.19
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1933 [86] Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Brooklyn NY, Supreme Court Justice (well-known for advocation of gender equality)
1943 [76] David Cronenberg, Toronto ON, filmmaker (“The Fly”, “A History of Violence”)/Order of Canada (2002)/Canada’s Walk of Fame (1999)
1955 [64] Dee Snider, Astoria NY, rock singer (Twisted Sister-‘We’re Not Gonna Take It’)/reality TV personality (“Celebrity Apprentice” 2012)
1963 [56] Bret Michaels, Butler PA, rock singer (Poison-‘Every Rose Has Its Thorn’)/reality TV personality (“Celebrity Apprentice” 2010/2013, “Rock of Love With Bret Michaels” 2007-09)
1968 [51] Mark McGrath, Hartford CT, pop singer (Sugar Ray-‘Fly’, ‘When It’s Over’)/TV host (“Extra” 2004-08, “Don’t Forget the Lyrics!” 2010), reality TV personality (“Celebrity Big Brother”, 2018)
1972 [47] Mark Hoppus, Ridgecrest CA, rock musician (Blink 182-‘All the Small Things’, ‘I Miss You’)
1975 [44] Eva Longoria, Corpus Christi TX, TV actress (“Telenovela” 2015, “Desperate Housewives” 2004-12)
1975 [44] will.i.am (William Adams Jr), LA CA, rapper/music producer (Black Eyed Peas-‘I Gotta Feeling’, ‘My Humps’)
1985 [34] Kellan Lutz, Dickinson ND, movie actor (“The Legend of Hercules”, “Twilight” movies)
SATURDAY-
Victor Garber (“Argo”) is 70; Erik Estrada (“CHiPs”) is 70; Nancy Wilson (Heart) is 65; Jerome Flynn (“Game of Thrones”) is 56; Lauren Graham (“Gilmore Girls”) is 52; Wolfgang Van Halen (Van Halen) is 28
SUNDAY-
Kurt Russell (“Escape from New York”) is 68; Gary Sinise (“CSI: NY”) is 65; Rob Lowe (“Parks and Recreation”) is 55; Billy Corgan (Smashing Pumpkins) is 52; Geoff Sprung (Old Dominion) is 41; John Boyega (“Star Wars: The Force Awakens”) is 27
TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Ides of March”, when Julius Caesar was assassinated in 44 BC. It’s also the tongue-in-cheek observance “National Brutus Day”, recognizing the fact that no matter where you work, there’s as much backstabbing, plotting, and intrigue as there was in ancient Rome. The word ‘ides’ simply means ‘middle’. There’s nothing unlucky about it … unless you’re Caesar.
• “International Day Against Police Brutality”, begun in 1997 as an initiative of the Montréal-based “Collective Opposed to Police Brutality” and the “Black Flag” group in Switzerland.
• “True Confessions Day”, They say confession is good for the soul, so go ahead and spill (***a good day to open up the ‘Morning Crew Confessional’ where anonymous callers shed their guilt by admitting their outrageous actions. You can even assign penance! – See “BS Phone Starter, below***)
• “World Consumer Rights Day”, initiated by Consumers International to promote the basic rights of all consumers, and to demand that those rights are respected and protected.
• “World Contact Day”, first declared March 15, 1953 by the “International Flying Saucer Bureau”. Today, UFO contact groups will once again unite to collectively try and make peaceful contact with extraterrestrial beings. Hello? Anybody there?
• “World Sleep Day”, an international celebration of sleep and a call to action on important issues related to sleep, including medicine, education, and driving.
NET: http://www.worldsleepday.org
SATURDAY-
• “Everything You Do is Right Day”, a day to avoid second-guessing yourself. As long as your decisions are well thought through, just carry them out and let them go. You’ll likely find it saves you a lot of stress. (Great. Now tell my boss…)
• “Freedom of Information Day”, celebrating the importance of an open government with access to info by the public.
• “Lips Appreciation Day”, when we’re encouraged to do something nice for our lips … kiss somebody. (Go ahead, pick someone at random and see how big the ensuing lawsuit is.)
• “No Selfies Day”, celebrated ironically on the birthday of Philippe Kahn, inventor of the cellphone camera and 1st person to snap a pic with his phone … although it wasn’t a selfie.
(So we have him to blame for the ‘duck face’?)
• “St Urho’s Day”, celebrating the (tongue-in-cheek) saint who allegedly ‘cleared the grasshoppers out of Finland’. The mock holiday is observed in parts of Canada and the USA.
SUNDAY-
• “St Patrick’s Day”, the Irish national holiday that began as a ‘solemn religious observance’ to honor St Patrick (389-461 AD), patron saint of Ireland. It’s a public holiday in Ireland, Montserrat, and the Canadian province of Newfoundland & Labrador. Some fast facts …
– It’s been an Irish holiday for 1,500 years.
– The world’s largest “St Patrick’s Parade” is in NYC where over a million spectators and 100,000 participants are expected. A tradition since 1762, the 2-mile parade lasts about 6 hours.
– It was first celebrated in Canada in 1765 in Québec City QC.
– Since 1965, the Chicago River has been dyed green for the “Chicago St Patrick’s Parade”, an idea conceived when a plumber was observed using green dye to trace leaks from a building.
– Green is associated with “St Patrick’s Day” because it’s the color of Spring, Ireland, and the shamrock (and ‘Irish Spring’ soap?).
• “Corned Beef & Cabbage Day”, you may think that corned beef and boiled cabbage is a traditional Irish dish for St. Patrick’s Day, actually it is not. It is an Irish-American invention, occurring after Irish immigrants discovered that beef was cheaper than pork in America at the time.
• “Submarine Day”, celebrates the day that John Philip Holland, an Irish engineer, first successfully demonstrated his submarine, the “Holland VI”. (I feel sorry for the guy who had to try out the “Holland V”!!)
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
2004 [15] Bob Seger, George Harrison, ZZ Top, Jackson Browne, Prince, Traffic and The Dells are inducted into The Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame
2010 [09] ABBA, Jimmy Cliff, Genesis, The Hollies, and The Stooges are inducted at the 25th Annual Rock And Roll Hall of Fame Induction Ceremony
TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1985 [34] The first Internet domain name, symbolics.com is registered
2002 [17] Liverpool UK international air terminal is re-branded Liverpool John Lennon Airport as Yoko Ono unveils a 7-ft bronze statue of Lennon overlooking the check-in hall
2011 [08] Beginning of the Syrian civil war (still going…)
TODAY’S RECORD . . .
2010 [09] Sony Music announces the ‘Biggest Recording Deal in History’, worth more than $250 million, with the estate of Michael Jackson (10 album projects over 7 years, including one of previously unreleased material)
BULL’S BITS
BS WACK ST. PADDY’S FACTS:
✓ St. Patrick’s color was blue. Green only became associated with the day after it was linked with the Independence movement of the late 18th century.
✓ Although he is given credit for driving the snakes out of Ireland, fossil records show that the country has never been home to any snakes.
✓ There’s no corn in corned beef. That’s a nod to the large grains of salt that were historically used to cure meats, which were known as “corns.”
✓ There are no female leprechauns. In traditional Irish folk tales, there are only nattily-attired little guys.
✓ It used to be a dry holiday where the only alcohol available on March 17 was at the national dog show.
✓ It could have been St. Maewyn’s Day. Patrick’s birth name was Maewyn Succat, but he changed his name to Patricius after becoming a priest.
-MentalFloss
BS BAD THINGS TO HEAR DURING SURGERY:
• “I hate it when they’re missing stuff in here.”
• “Bo! Bo! Come back with that. Bad dog!”
• “Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what’s that?”
• “Hand me that… uh… that uh… that thingy there.”
• “Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived from 500 ml of this stuff before?”
• “Ya know, there’s big money in kidneys? and this guy’s got two of ’em.”
• “Could you stop that thing from beating? It’s throwing off my concentration.”
• “That’s cool. Now can you make his leg twitch by pressing that one?!”
• “Well folks, this will be an experiment for all of us.”
• “Sterile schmerile. The floor’s clean, right?”
• “OK, now take a picture from this angle. This is truly a freak of nature.”
• “This patient has already had some kids, am I correct?”
• “Nurse, did this patient sign an organ donation card?”
• “Don’t worry. I think it’s sharp enough.”
• “Better save that. We’ll need it for the autopsy.”
-Ahajokes
Best of BS . . .
BS ST PATRICK’S DAY TOASTS:
• “May your 18 children learn to use contraceptives.”
• “May you never remember the night before.”
• “May the wind at your back not be the result of the corned beef & cabbage you had for lunch.”
• “Here’s to getting shille-laid!”
• “Here’s green beer in your eye!”
• “Hey! You! Wake up and drink this!”
• “Awww … not on my shoes!”
– First published in “BS” 2004.
BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
• Some Irish shamrock-wearers follow an old custom called “drowning the shamrock”. How is this done?
a. Floating it down the river with a pinned-on prayer to St. Patrick
b. Pouring whiskey over it before drinking [CORRECT]
c. Sprinkling it with water before wearing it
d. Symbolically “baptizing” it when nature calls
• At an old-fashioned St. Patrick’s Day celebration in Ireland, which of these would you NOT see?
a. Children clothed all in green [CORRECT]
b. Men and women dancing together
c. Musicians playing the bagpipes
d. The wearing of the shamrock
-TriviaPark
BS RANDOM JOKE:
Never iron a four-leaf clover…you don’t want to press your luck.
BS PHONE STARTER:
Confession time – What would you like to get off your chest today?
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: According to a survey, 21% of us will celebrate St. Patrick’s Day by doing THIS. What?
Answer: Attending a parade
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
A good friend is like a four-leaf clover, hard to find and lucky to have.
